by Sarah Hoss
She broke contact and pulled back the blanket to see what James held in his arms. “Is she okay?” She glanced between the two brothers.
“Aye, she’s all right. Just tired.”
James turned to her. “Gillian, would ye mind taking her to that man and woman over there,” He pointed in the parent’s direction, “then go on inside. I’ll follow in but a moment.”
She nodded, then held out her arms and James passed off the precious cargo.
Both men watched her walk away. Hamish touched his brother’s arm to get his attention. “Where did ye and Gillian go? Ye left and didna say a word.”
“We went to see Alexander and his family.”
James tugged at his elbow and they began to walk toward the keep.
“Is everyone well?”
“Aye, they are doing fine.”
“I’m glad to hear it.
“Margaret is a beauty.”
The sound of their footsteps crunching on the snow was echoed in perfect rhythm between the two.
“Aye, I’m glad she gets her looks from her mother.”
Both men laughed and as they reached the door, Hamish held it open for his brother. There was something different about him. He couldn’t put his finger on it.
Once inside, he shook himself, expelling the snow from his hair.
“Hamish.”
The sound of his name being hollered out in such a frantic way, caused him to step past his brother and search the crowd. Even though he knew Gillian’s voice by heart, he still secretly hoped that it was her calling his name, but as the crowd parted and Rebecca ran to him, the truth hit him.
“Hamish, are ye all right?” She began to check him over.
Grabbing her hands, he stilled her. “Aye, I’m fine. Everyone is well. There were no injuries.”
She placed a hand over her heart and let out a breath. “I prayed that it would be so.” She searched the crowd. “Whose cottage was it?”
“Iain and Isabella Macpherson.”
Her hand left her heart to cover her mouth as the shock hit her. She searched the crowd again until she found them.
“They’re all right.”
She nodded.
“Why are ye behaving so?”
“They have a small daughter and when ye said their name, I got scared for a moment that the child had been harmed.” Her hands flew to her belly and he understood her fears.
Gillian approached the group and he watched as the two women eyed each other. Tension thickened.
The great hall was full already, but as the kitchen maids brought out food and drinks to the dining room, everyone began to disperse. Refreshments were exactly what they needed.
“Hamish, let’s go and eat. I’m starving.” She rubbed her belly again, and his eyes watched the motion.
“Go on ahead, I shall be along shortly.”
James reached out and touched his arm. “Go, tend to yer woman. Gillian and I will follow.”
Rebecca slipped her arm through his, he turned to eye her. She smiled. He didn’t want to go, but knew he must.
He led her through the crowd, into the dining room, helping her sit down. This was a time of talking, relaxing, and being with those you love. When tragedies like this happen, it brings things into perspective. Makes you cherish those you love and thankful for what you have, both family and friends.
James and Gillian walked into the room. There was no place to sit near Hamish and Rebecca so they took a seat further down at another table. Hamish just sat and watched them until Rebecca called his name.
“Aye?”
She slid a plate over in front of him. “Eat something. Ye must be hungry.”
“Thank ye.” He took a piece of the bread and cheese and placed them in his mouth. Though he chewed, he didn’t taste anything. He kept his head down while he ate, but would gingerly look around, keeping James and Gillian in his sights. When his head was down, he would peek at them under his lashes. He couldn’t help himself.
They talked and laughed. They sat closer to each other than he thought was necessary. Something didn’t feel right and he was determined to figure it out.
Anger boiled within Rebecca. Though she sat next to Hamish, he ignored her. He must think her stupid, because she knew he watched her. He tried to be so sly about it, but he couldn’t hide it.
She stole a glance of her own just in time to catch Gillian look at Hamish. If they were stealing glances at each other, how did she know they weren’t stealing moments as well? This wouldn’t do. She couldn’t have her fiancé in love with another woman. She had to make him fall in love with her and if she couldn’t do that, then she would have to . . .
No! She could not allow herself to think in that direction. She was not like her brothers, she would not be evil. Today’s actions were thrown forefront in her mind. She knew that house fire was caused by Archibald.
She swallowed, a sick feeling swirling around in the pit of her stomach. The moment she had been able to leave her family’s house, she had run straight for Clan Macpherson and had found refuge within the castle walls. She had always felt like an outsider in her home. Her father had died in a drunken tirade that burnt down their house and her mother had become a whore to whoever might give her money to sustain the household. It sickened her to see men come and go.
She’d vowed long ago to be better than her family. Hamish was her ticket to a good life. That was the only reason she’d lain with him before she’d gotten married. She’d loved him and wanted to marry him practically from the moment she’d met him. She’d hoped their time together would make him love her, too, but that wasn’t the case.
She knew it was time to take matters into her own hands. Becoming pregnant had been a boon. It was proof that things were going to work out, that they were meant to be together and she could have the happy life she had always dreamed about. If she could get pregnant once, she could do it again.
Hamish was watching her again. Rebecca’s stomach rolled at the train of thoughts she held, knowing he was ignoring her. Bile rose in her throat. Her left hand flew to her mouth in hopes that she wouldn’t get sick all over the table. She reached out her right hand and grabbed his shirt sleeve.
He looked over. “Rebecca, what’s wrong?”
She swallowed. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
He rose quickly and helped her stand. “Are ye ill?”
She shook her head and began to walk as he guided her out of the room. “Nay, it’s just normal sickness that comes with pregnancy.”
They walked quickly to her room. Once inside, she found the bucket in the corner and threw up. He stood behind her, rubbing her back as she heaved several times. Once she’d finished, she stood, but swayed. He picked her up into his arms and carried her to bed, then gently tucked her into the covers.
“Do ye feel better now?”
“Well, I don’t feel sick, but I am tired.”
He stood. “Then I shall leave ye to sleep.”
She snaked out her hand to grasp his. “Please, stay with me until I fall asleep.”
He nodded and sat back down. She rolled over and laid her head on his knee. The last thing she remembered was him stroking her hair before darkness took her.
Hamish stood over the bed, staring at Rebecca, watching her sleep. He was torn emotionally. He knew this woman, knew her to be kind and gentle. He had never seen her do anything malicious and now she carried his child. He should feel more toward her. A part of himself felt sad because he didn’t. He couldn’t help who he loved and he was in love with Gillian.
He slowly and quietly walked toward the door and left the room. There were things he needed to do and he knew the chief would have a meeting soon to discuss the newest fire.
He strolled slowly
down the stairs. Voices from the dining hall reached his ears. In spite of the gruesome events of the day, people talked and laughed.
As it should be.
People should be loving each other and laughing and talking. When disaster strikes, it’s in those times that you want the ones you love closer. This made him think of Gillian. He began to walk into the dining room, just as the woman he loved was walking out with his brother.
“Hamish, I saw ye leave suddenly, with Rebecca. Is she all right?”
Gillian’s concern was honest and it made him love her even more.
“Aye, just a bit of an upset stomach.”
“I see. Well, feel at ease. It’s very normal for pregnant women to feel sick and be tired all the time.”
“Aye, and I thank ye.”
This didn’t feel right and he wanted to change the subject. He didn’t want to talk to her about Rebecca. Not because he was rude, but because Rebecca was the one thing keeping them apart. It wasn’t something to carry casual conversation over.
He stepped aside to let them through. “Were ye leaving then?”
“We were. I was on my way to fetch ye. Cluny wants to meet with us.”
“I figured he would sooner or later.”
The men said their goodbyes to Gillian and went in search of the group.
They talked about the fires for well over two hours. Trying desperately to figure out what was going on. The chief decided to hold patrols more frequently. Two men in two groups going in opposite directions. Hamish and James decided to take the first patrol to the east.
The wind blew, causing snowflakes to hit them in the face. It was cold and he pulled his plaid closer around his chin. Sabastian snorted his protest at having to be outside. His breath came in big bursts of white clouds.
As they rode, they talked gingerly about the weather and Alexander’s family. Not wanting to make themselves known and both keeping their ears open to whatever may be lurking in the dark.
There was an unspoken subject that lay between them. Hamish wanted to ask his brother questions about Gillian, but knew that he didn’t have the right to. It seemed to him that after his engagement, the two of them had gotten closer and it bothered him.
They paused a moment near a stream. James left to relieve himself and Hamish stood by the horses, lightly jumping up and down to generate warmth.
James walked around to the side of his brother and took his horse’s reins. Their time for patrol was almost over. As he got ready to mount, James stopped him.
“Brother, I need to talk to ye.”
Hamish stopped and turned to his brother. “Aye? But be quick about it. I have frozen parts I’d like to keep thawed.”
James smiled, but it wasn’t his usual smile. His heart wasn’t in it. It was serious.
“I want ye to know I am verra happy for ye at becoming a father.”
“Thank ye.” He shifted his stance.
“As ye are aware, I have been speaking to Gillian lately and we went to see Alexander and Marlana.”
“Aye.”
“I wanted her to have a friend here. Since ye are now betrothed to Rebecca, I saw her walking around looking sad and lost.” James peered down at the ground.
Though Hamish appreciated James’s words, a part of him felt guilty for having wanted to know the details for he knew it was none of his business.
His brother told the story of Marlana and Alexander talking to them both about getting married.
“We both thought it made sense. So, I asked Gillian to marry me and she agreed.”
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was one thing to have the woman he loved out of his reach forever; it was a completely different thing to have her wed to his brother. He would be sure to tell Alexander just what he thought about his bright ideas.
“Please tell me ye understand.”
Hamish curled his fingers into a fist, unable to control his anger as it built and built. Without even thinking, he brought his fist back and punched his brother right in the jaw. James fell backward. His horse shied to the left and James let go of the reins.
“Saint Baird’s sister, what an earth was that for?”
He stood over his brother, chest heaving with anger, cold long forgotten. “Do ye really think I would give my blessing to such a union?”
James scooted out from under him and stood. He rubbed his jaw. “First of all, I doona think ye have any say as to who she or I wed. Especially since ye are already engaged.”
“That’s not fair.”
James took a couple of steps closer to his brother, putting them almost nose to nose. “Second of all, what do ye expect the lass to do? She’s here. She has no one. Would ye rather see her wed to someone else or to me?”
“I would rather see her wed to another. How can I see her every day? My heart would be tortured. How can I know that she lies with ye? My soul is damned.”
“Ye doona mean that. Ye know I will treat her well. That’s what is important here.”
James let loose a punch of his own, landing in Hamish’s mid-section. He bent over, his breath lost, and the feeling of wanting to puke overpowering him. He peered up and out of the corner of his eye he could see James’s stomach. He plowed his shoulder into it, knocking him off balance and taking him to the ground. They rolled back and forth in the snow.
“Ye selfish bastard,” James said in uneven breaths.
That pissed him off more. He stood and grabbed his brother by the folds of his plaid. He swung again, but James was ready and ducked.
“I let ye hit me once, but not twice.”
Both men stood eyeing each other.
“Ye are selfish. God, look at ye. All ye ever talk about is how ye are affected. How ye are sad, how ye canna think of her with anyone else. Not once have ye thought about her.”
James ran his hands through his hair. Snow fell in big clumps. He walked over to where the horses stood and picked up the reins. He swiftly mounted. He took one last look at his brother before turning his horse in the opposite direction.
“How do ye think she feels? Do ye think she likes seeing ye with another woman, one who will grow large with yer child? I doona need yer blessing and we are getting married.”
Guilt slammed into Hamish like waves on a rock. He stood next to his horse, the quiet evening all around him, and the last pieces of his heart dying in the winter snow. He watched his brother ride off.
Chapter 27
A winter storm raged outside the castle walls. Wind howled and banged against doors and windows as if a stranger was begging to be let in.
Rebecca stood near the window of her room where she could be alone. She laid her hands over her belly and glanced down. Life had grown within her once and she had been very excited for that part of her life. Being pregnant meant wrongs from her past could be forgotten, maybe even forgiven as she became a mother. The child within her would be loved by both its parents. She knew Hamish would be a great father and she would do all within her power to be the best mother any child could ever have. She needed to get Hamish in bed and become pregnant again soon.
For a moment, her excitement of planning her future was put on hold as she focused back on the storm Hamish and James were in the midst of and she worried for their safety.
When she had woken from her nap, she’d gone in search of him, only to learn about the extra patrols and their taking the first shift. That had been two hours ago. There wasn’t any way someone could be out in this storm for two hours. She sent up a silent prayer for their swift return.
The door behind her creaked as it opened and she turned excitedly. “Hamish,” She said but stopped. The smile left her lips and the joy left her soul.
“Tsk, tsk. Sorry I am to disappoint ye and by the look on yer face, I see I did
.”
“What do ye want, Archibald?”
He stepped inside the door and closed it. He was wet, which meant he had just come in from the storm. As he walked through the room, he ran his finger over a couple of books, reading their titles.
“I only wanted to come and see my favorite sister.” He stopped and glared at her. “I hear ye are to be married and that ye are with child.”
She stepped to the side, always facing him. He edged his way to her slowly, and she tried to slide her way to the door. She had to get out of this room and away from him.
“Who is the lucky gentleman?”
She didn’t answer. If he knew it was Hamish, he would do him harm. She had to protect Hamish at all costs.
When she didn’t answer, he grew angry.
“Have ye nothing to say to me?”
“No.”
He took another step. “Makes no never mind. I already know.” He was in front of her now. So close that he could reach out and touch her. She eyed the door, but quickly focused back on him. Her pulse quickened. His arrival meant nothing good.
“Ye carry that bastard’s baby within ye. Ye whored yerself to him and now ye will pay the price.”
She tried to run past him, fearing he would harm her, but he snaked out his arm and blocked her exit. She bounced off him. He gripped her arms painfully. Her chest rose and fell with each breath.
“What do ye want? Why can’t ye just leave me alone?”
“Ye are the only family I have left.” He cocked his head to the side, studying her. When she crossed her arms over her stomach, he laughed. “Do ye think I will harm ye?”