by Julia Bright
“I hate what you did to me. You left me there without even a single word. You humiliated me after I gave you…all of me. You took everything from me. I can’t stand you. You’ve made my life hell.”
Presley continued her rant, only looking away when she caught her image in the mirror. Her bra top was still shoved above her breasts. With the grace of a bunch of monkeys, she shoved the top down with her hands full of her things, making her drop her purse in the process. She didn’t stop the backward steps distancing herself from Roan, until her feet tangled in the strap of her bag. Presley tumbled to her butt, falling hard on the spring floor. The hopelessness of her actions had her lying on her back as tears sprung forward. She ground the heels of her palms into her eyes, still so shocked at what she’d done. How in the world had she let this happen again?
“Let me help you,” he said with all the kindness she used to know from him.
“No! Don’t touch me.” She jerked her arms away from his touch with her hands still covering her eyes. All the worry of the last couple of weeks welled inside her, and the tears turned into a sob as she pushed forward, jerking her body out of his reach as she grabbed her jacket. When she got several feet away from Roan, Presley buried her face in the soft material. She cried like she’d never cried before, and that said a lot, because she’d shed many tears over this man. She seriously hated Roan on a level she couldn’t fully comprehend, and she’d just had sex with him again. In her sanctuary. The one place that was free of all the troubles of her life. Now, he’d ruined that too.
What kind of hold did this man have over her?
Why would she have ever had condomless sex again?
How could she explain this to Kady?
Shit, Kady had Maddie. Presley had to get home. She scrubbed her jacket over her face and willed the tears to stop. They wouldn’t, but it didn’t matter. Presley reached for her purse, avoiding Roan who hovered less than a foot away. She snatched the bag up and got to her feet, walking toward the bathroom as she spoke.
“I never want to see you again, and if you have a shred of decency, you’ll leave this gym right now and never come back. I don’t want anything to do with you.”
She managed to get the lies out of her mouth in the tone she reserved for the naughty students in school. Presley shoved through the bathroom door and twisted the lock. She shoved her shorts down her legs while snatching towels from the dispenser and then placing them between her legs, but she didn’t turn on the faucet, wanting to hear the bells at the main door when Roan left.
It took some time, but she finally heard Roan exit, and for some reason, she busted out in tears again. She couldn’t truly understand why she cried so hard, except the deep disappointment she had in herself. She’d prepared for the day Roan showed up again; she’d planned to send him packing. Instead, she’d done the worst possible thing. She’d had sex with him. Again. Unprotected. Oh God.
Steeling her spine, Presley did a quick cleanup job and splashed cold water on her face, willing the tears to stop. Maddie was at home, waiting on her, and now she’d have to stop by the pharmacy and grab a morning-after kit. No way did she want a repeat of the last time she and Roan had had sex.
Presley left the gym through the front door. When she turned and unlocked her car with her fob, she noticed the headlights of a parked car near the entrance to the parking lot. Probably Roan. Her stomach roiled at the implication. He was such a contradiction. Out of some sort of misguided sense of duty, he wouldn’t let her leave the building alone, yet he had absolutely justified leaving her behind to walk the miles back to her apartment all those years ago.
No. She wasn’t letting him any further inside her head. Instead, she got inside her car to head home, giving in to the indulgence of lifting her middle finger as she passed him by. Of course, the likelihood of him seeing her salute was small with the darkness of the lot, but it made her feel better. He followed her all the way to the pharmacy before he took off down the street. She had been afraid he’d follow her until she went home. Thank God he hadn’t. Now, all she needed was to prepare herself for their next meeting, because she was certain she’d see Roan again soon. She had some decisions to make and needed to clear her heart and her head in order to always put Maddie first.
Chapter Twelve
With little more than a few hours of sleep, Roan rose early. He showered and shaved, taking extra care with his appearance this morning. Much like he’d done since pulling out of that cheerleading gym last night, every single one of his thoughts centered on the inimitable Presley Adams and what he saw as their bright, shiny future together. At least the future he’d planned after their unexpected, mind-fucking-blowing time together last night.
From the minute he landed on his knees in front of her, there was no denying Presley was his, and no matter how she protested, she was just as into him. Clearly very into him if the power of her orgasm said anything.
Funny, Presley might have a problem with their inevitability, but his overzealous dick seemed right on board with his assessments of last night and craved a repeat performance as soon as humanly possible.
Roan dressed quickly in a pair of cargo shorts and a button-down, striving for casual yet together in his clothing choices. He carried some guilt in the lengths he’d used to find Presley’s local apartment address. Honestly, it did seem a breach of privacy to have snapped a photo of her license plate when he’d left the gym last night. But by the time he had arrived home, he’d gotten past his shame when his personal security buddy back in Chicago had Presley’s California apartment address waiting in his email.
He shoved his feet into his Sperry’s, took a deep breath, and willed away any lingering doubts. He had his go-win-the-girl motivation in place, anything else either didn’t matter or would be dealt with in the moment. Yes, he had his work cut out for him, but that didn’t matter. He wanted her. Had never stopped wanting her.
She’d have a lot to beg forgiveness for, but he’d forgive her and let her make up all the pain she’d caused him with hours and hours of dedicated time in the bedroom.
As he grabbed his cell phone, keys, and wallet, he knew he’d eventually have to get to the bottom of why she had chosen Blaine that morning all those years ago and how she’d handled his eventual coming out. Also, he’d have to know the reasons she’d lost it so badly last night after their sex. While walking through his house, a smile formed as he remembered Presley had turned a little sassier than he remembered her being, but that was to be expected. Finding out your boyfriend was gay had to be a hard pill to swallow.
At barely eight in the morning, he’d probably need to kill a little bit of time before he knocked uninvited on her apartment door. Maybe. He was ready to move this along. Presley might just have to get her hot little ass out of bed and deal with him. The thought made him grin as he pushed the garage door opener to lift the overhead door.
He allowed himself one stop by the local grocery store to grab a cup of coffee and a wrapped bouquet of flowers. Maybe as a peace offering, something to help combat her anger from last night. It had been years since he cared about what a woman thought and there had to be a reason men always sent their women flowers when in the doghouse.
Armed and ready to go, Roan’s nerves were high as he leaned forward, searching the street. Not quite the projects but still poor. If she lived here…Well, he didn’t want to consider the safety aspects. Instead, he decided this was for the best. He could entice her out of this neighborhood pretty easily.
When he found the right building, he started scanning the area for a parking spot. Every single space was taken, causing him to circle the block a couple of times before anything came open. Roan parked, shut off the ignition, and sat there a minute staring up at the building. She lived in a dump. He looked around at the nearby businesses and recognized the coffee shop from the logo on the cups in some of the pictures on her gym’s Facebook page.
All the confidence he’d built overnight began to flee as he reached for
the flower bouquet. He still hesitated, sitting there, staring at the front doors of the building. She hadn’t handled their sex well at all. The true likelihood of her falling to her knees in gratitude of him showing up unexpectedly seemed less likely by the second, and since it was right at nine in the morning, he didn’t see a woman who worked at night being awake yet.
Yeah, he should wait to go up to her apartment. A part of his brain that had been weirdly quiet seemed to latch on to that idea. She’d been sincerely freaked out last night. He didn’t understand that one at all. With his confidence slipping by the second, if he didn’t go now, he might not ever.
Roan forced himself to push open the car door, put a foot out on the street, and he still sat there a minute to rally his nerve. When he finally stood, he squared his shoulders and took a deep steadying breath, praying for the outcome he wanted.
As he reached back to shut the door, laughter on the quiet street caught his attention and he looked over his shoulder as he started for the building’s entrance. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Presley leaving the coffee shop. She held the door open for someone behind her. Instantly, her mere presence made everything right in his world. She was beautiful and calming. She’d always been the light in his dark life, and that hadn’t changed. Her smiling face tilted his direction, and she abruptly stopped in her tracks. That pretty, happy expression turned to instant horror.
“Momma, what’s wrong?”
Roan looked at the little girl beside Presley. She was young, no more than five or six years old with long dark hair like Presley's. When the child turned to see what caused this reaction in her mother, Roan’s gaze connected with one very similar to his own. The child stared at him as boldly as he stared at her. Everything faded away except the little image of himself standing across the street. Presley panicked, taking the child, and shoving her behind her body, but the little girl kept her head cocked to the side, staring at Roan from behind her mother’s legs.
Roan couldn’t seem to breathe. The gut-punch knocked the breath from his lungs and stars began shooting in his vision. Shit, he was having a heart attack as he stared at his own daughter. There was no doubt in his mind she was his. The flowers dropped from his hand. Presley began to take steps backward until she turned and ushered the little girl back into the coffee shop. Conflicting emotions had Roan wanting to move forward to confront this impossible situation at the same time they wanted him to run. Run far, far away.
This couldn’t be happening. Roan started to cross the street, not paying attention until a car came to a screeching halt to avoid hitting him. He bounded forward, now running as he watched through the windows of the coffee shop as Presley guided the girl through the restaurant section of the business toward the back of the store. He busted through the front doors, sidestepping the busy crowd, and dodged people who didn’t see him coming as he went in her direction. At the back door, he burst through to see Presley hurriedly taking the girl down the alley.
“Stop!” he yelled and sprinted toward them. The little girl stopped, rooted in her spot, even though Presley didn’t. When the girl turned back toward him, she threw Presley off course and refused to be pulled along any further. As he got within fifteen feet of them, Roan slowed down, not wanting to scare the child who seemed fearless in her resolve to stand up to him. He dropped to one knee less than a foot away from her, his breath heaving in his chest as he stared only at her.
“Are you my daddy?” Her child-like wonderment cut through all his questions. She was clearly willing to hand herself over with nothing more than his confirmation.
Roan could see Presley’s hand tighten on the child’s and she stepped in closer. Roan didn’t lift his gaze to acknowledge the protectionary move until he took his fill of the little girl. Finally, he tilted his head, turning his steely gaze directly to Presley. “Am I?” he asked. Anguish crossed Presley’s face, giving him the answer. She started to speak, but anything she had to say would taint this little girl’s surreal attitude toward him, so he spoke first. “What’s your name?”
“Madison. But my mama and everyone else calls me Maddie. Kady calls me Mad, because sometimes I get mad.”
“Hmm.” He didn’t speak little girl, but forced a grin at her bold confidence. “That’s a pretty name. I’m Roan.” Instinct had Roan sticking out a hand, and Maddie wiggled hers free from Presley’s to shake his.
“I’ve heard mama talk about you. Last night in her sleep,” she explained, turning a beaming gaze to Presley, clearly very proud of her discovery. “I knew he’d come back for us, Mama. I told Lily he’d come get us someday.”
Oh man, his heart punched in his chest at her sweetly declared oath. “How old are you?”
He got all her attention centered back on him. “I’m six. Where’ve you been? I’ve been waiting a long time on you.”
That had his overeager heart crushing on a level he’d never experienced before, and that said a lot, because this little girl’s mother had been behind some major heartache in his life.
“Mama, can he come with us to look for apartments? He needs to know where to find us,” Maddie asked, looking up at Presley, freeing him of the weird eye hold she had on him. Maddie clearly adored her mother, and even as horrified as she looked, Presley still put on a brave face of patience as she answered.
“I don’t think he can today.”
Roan didn’t like that answer, and he stood to his full height, taking Presley’s gaze up with him.
“We need to talk.”
Presley started to shake her head frantically in denial, but that steeled his resolve. He wasn’t going to let her cut him out, not anymore.
“It’s the only option, Presley.”
“We live with four other women. I don’t have a private place…” Presley started, stammering out the words as she drew Maddie closer against her leg. She was in straight-up protection mode. He just had no idea what he’d ever done to cause this fear radiating from her.
“Then come to my place,” he suggested. His natural state of possessiveness had him wanting to demand answers right then, but something held him back. Instinct and maturity restrained him, guiding Roan into being rational in this completely irrational situation. He didn’t want to spook her any more than she already was, but damn it, why had this been kept a secret?
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Presley answered after a long pause.
“It’s the most private place we have. I’m not gonna let this one slide by. I deserve some answers.” Roan stopped himself as he felt anger flaming. No, Presley was done running away from him. He should have known he had a child, been the father his daughter needed. With a herculean effort, he pushed those destructive thoughts aside. Closing his eyes, he inhaled deeply, willing himself to remain calm. After a second more, he dropped back to his knee, facing Maddie. Roan reached out to take both her hands, holding them in his. She was as precious as she bravely stepped close to him and the connection between them intensified.
“Can we go to his house, Mama?” Maddie asked excitedly. Madison proved she had control over Presley as resignation slid over her mother’s features and she finally nodded.
“Give me your number.” Roan let go of only one of Maddie’s hands to reach for his phone in his back pocket, building on that agreement his daughter had just gotten. Reluctantly, and what looked to be painfully, Presley spouted off her telephone number. Maddie beamed as she wrapped an arm around her mother’s thigh, but kept her focus trained on Roan as he rose and let go of her hand. “I’ll text you my home address. Come now and please show up. Don’t make us have to do this the hard way.”
“I don’t want to have this conversation in front of her,” Presley said somewhat desperately and brushed a hand over Maddie’s long hair.
“I have a place she can play while we talk.” That was technically untrue. He hadn’t added too much more furniture to his place, but Maddie could watch television or play on his gated back porch while they talked. Those t
houghts were just so foreign to him. He had a daughter. A beautiful, smart, sweet child. Roan reached out, sliding a thumb over Maddie’s cheek before taking a couple of steps back, not letting Presley give any further argument. He grinned at Maddie. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Okay,” she said, smiling a charming little grin. Presley’s brows gathered as she nodded one time. Maddie gave one single jump, showing her excitement. “I knew he’d come, Mama. I knew it. I told my teacher and Lily he’d come!”
“Don’t make me wait too long, Presley.” Roan shifted around, heading back the way he’d come without another word, crossing the street with a bit more care this time. Not until he sat behind the wheel of his car did he let out the pent-up breath he held, letting go of the tight rein he had on all his scattered thoughts.
He had a daughter. A beautiful little girl, and Presley had never told him.
Anger shot forward, his fists tightening on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white as he squeezed the hard plastic, but thankfully, the reasonable side of his personality pushed forward too. There were things he’d done to keep Presley away, but that had only come from the deep hurt she’d caused. He had needed self-preservation back then. He’d loved that woman more than he’d ever loved anything or anyone in his life. The pain she’d caused by choosing Blaine had emotionally crippled him; he hadn’t thought he’d ever recover. And he’d been so fucking jealous of Blaine. That had tainted him, made him bitter, and ultimately driven him to utter destruction.
Roan forced himself to hold on to this unexpected sensible side and willed everything else away. He’d missed so much life by letting himself harbor all that animosity. And Presley wouldn’t have had to struggle all these years. Why hadn’t she ever reached out to him? He’d have moved heaven and earth to help his child.
Roan dropped his forehead between his fists on the steering wheel. Who was he kidding? He’d been an angry, self-absorbed drunk. He’d have insisted Maddie was Blaine’s kid even with the clear evidence that the child looked just like him. Sitting there, letting all these conflicting thoughts assault his senses, he lifted his head in enough time to see Maddie and Presley come around the corner. He watched them standing side by side, holding hands on the sidewalk. Maddie may look like him, but she was petite like her momma. He could see Maddie’s lips moving non-stop, but Presley barely engaged. Instead, her gaze searched the street until they landed on his car and focused right there. Deep concern etched her pretty face. He didn’t think Presley could see him sitting there, but she had to know he was inside.