As her pounding heart settled to normal, Rhea heard quiet sniffles. She turned around.
Brianna held a trembling hand to her lips, tears pooling in the area between her thumb and index finger. “You did that to comfort me? I thought—it was—because you wanted me—”
She was well aware she’d never be able to explain all the things that went through her head that night. It was comfort. It was desire. It was a challenge to make something fantastical happen for herself for once. Not as though Adam hadn’t been remarkable—but this thing with Brianna was a whole different beast with two backs.
Rhea sighed the most aggrieved sigh of her lifetime. God dammit, Rhea, you pathetic push-over. She pulled out the chair opposite Brianna’s and plopped into it, its legs or back—maybe both—creaking beneath her weight. “Fine. I accept your apology,” she said flatly. Why? Why! “But you need to understand how bad you hurt me.”
“I do, Rhea, and really, I’m so sorry. I just . . . See, there’s a lot going on in my life and emotions are running high. Please believe me, honest, I never meant to hurt you.”
I’m supposed to believe that? I suppose there’s a bridge in Arizona you want to sell me, too. Maybe some swampland in Florida? “Gimme one of those.” Rhea gestured to the chocolate hazelnut candies. “One of the ones in a dark wrapper.”
Brianna opened the box and plucked out one of the four darkly wrapped chocolates. She handed it to Rhea, making a point to brush her fingertips on Rhea’s palm with a tentative smile.
Rhea jerked her hand away with a frown.
“I want to fix this. Us. What if I made it up to you?” She wiggled her eyebrows at Rhea, drawing her tongue across her upper lip.
God yes! “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Because it’s a great idea. It’s a dreadful idea.
“Oh. Well. Okay.” Brianna helped herself to a candy wrapped in white. “I understand. But if you ever change your mind—”
“Trust me, I won’t.”
“Was it . . . bad for you? ‘Cause it sounded to me like you totes enjoyed yourself.”
“It was amazing.” Rhea dropped her head, rubbing her eyes with her fists. “Which is more reason I won’t change my mind.”
“Sounds counterintuitive if you ask me.”
“That’s because you want me to change my mind.” Which posed the further question: why? “I won’t.”
Brianna sighed, “Damn.”
While she made her best attempt to enjoy the chocolate, Rhea considered how to tell Brianna she was free to leave at any time.
Brianna cleared her throat. “So I can’t help but notice you haven’t started packing yet.”
“Huh?”
“There aren’t any boxes or anything.” She chuckled weakly. “It’s almost like you’re not moving out.”
Rhea frowned. “I’m not. I just renewed my lease here.”
“But—” Brianna’s voice wavered. “You promised me you’d be my roommate. You were the one who suggested it.”
“I’m not moving in with you after what you did to me,” Rhea cried, her gaze snapping to meet Brianna’s. “Are you nuts? Are you actually nuts!”
“You don’t need to punish me anymore, okay? Your silent treatment did more than enough.”
Rhea slid her chair from the table and rose to her feet. “You know what? All my life I’ve let people walk all over me. I’ve let people trample my heart because I was more desperate for their friendship than I had any regard for myself. I’ve heard since Kindergarten I need to be more assertive. I think that starts now.”
“Rhea, please—”
“I don’t stand up for myself nearly as much as I should but I’m gonna stand up to you. I’m not saying ‘no’ to punish you. I’m telling you ‘no’ to keep myself from being screwed over again.”
“Okay, I totally get that and I’m sure I deserve it—”
Rhea blurted words she’d never in her life said: “Don’t you interrupt me.” She drew in a steadying breath. “Look. Brianna. I’m sorry if you seriously think you’re the victim here. I’m sorry if you can’t see the difference between me trying to keep myself from getting hurt by you again and some perceived punishment.”
Rhea set her shoulders and jaw. “No, I take it back. I’m not sorry. I am sick to death of having to apologize for things which aren’t even my fault. I have always been the one who has to make the first move, to be the one who apologizes when the other person slighted me and never actually apologizes to me for it. It’s always been ‘Rhea, look at it from your brother’s point-of-view.’ Or ‘try being in your father’s shoes.’ Does anyone ever take my feelings into consideration? Fuck no. Never.”
With a shaking hand, she pointed at Brianna. “You kicked me out of your apartment after you were hurt because I did something that had nothing at all to do with you. I was stranded and it was below freezing out. How can I possibly trust you now?”
“Oh my God,” Brianna whimpered, pressing a hand to her lips. “Oh my God, I’m gonna be homeless.” Whimpering turned to ugly sobs.
Rhea may have believed such things would serve Brianna right but still couldn’t handle seeing her cry. She squeezed her eyes shut, tilting her face toward the ceiling. It’s not fair. She’s not crying out of compassion for what she did to me. It’s not remorse. She’s crying because her cruelty to others bit her in the ass for probably the first time in her life.
None of that, of course, changed the fact Brianna was going to be without a place to live. Oh God dammit. I know I’m going to rue being so kind. She sighed. “You’re not gonna be homeless.”
“How, exactly?” Brianna said between sobs. “Tell me how when you’re not willing to be my roommate anymore.”
“No. I’m not. But . . .” Rhea inhaled. “My community has low security deposit promotions all the time. And the leasing office manager likes me. I’m sure I could talk him into doing a favor . . .”
“Hello? I still can’t afford movers, Rhea.”
“You don’t need them. You don’t have much stuff and the majority looks pretty light, I could probably lift it on my own. You can sniff around for some free boxes at local businesses and we can easily get your place packed in a weekend.”
Brianna’s voice was tiny: “We?”
Rhea choked down her groan. “Yes. We. I said I would help, I’ll help. We get you packed, put twenty bucks or whatever on a small Budget truck and get you into a place you can afford on your own.”
“Oh thanks, Rhea!” Brianna jumped from her chair, racing around the table to give her a hug.
Rhea threw her hands into the air in defense, backing away. “Whoa! Stop. Don’t.”
“So you’re willing to help me move but you won’t be my friend?”
“I’ll consider being your friend,” Rhea replied, “but I don’t trust you—I can’t—and I’m gonna keep you at arm’s distance for my own sanity.”
“I wish you wouldn’t.” Brianna’s luscious bottom lip turned outward in a pout.
Front door. Hallway. Coffee table. Famine, locusts, Ebola. Think of anything other than her kissable mouth! That tasty lip—
Well. That worked.
Sarcasm aimed at myself. Really, me?
“Rhea?”
“If you promise again to be my BFF and I brush it off, know it’s not you.” Well, it’s kinda you. “It’s about all the people who’ve broken that promise to me before you.” Rhea clenched her jaw when Brianna said nothing. “Tell me: What would you do if I’d done such awful things to you?”
“Hey now,” Brianna answered. “That’s not fair.”
“How isn’t it fair?”
“Because you know I’ll say I would have done the exact same things you did. Or worse.” Under her breath she added, “I’m not above writing your phone number on bathroom walls at strip clubs.”
Rhea gasped. “You didn’t!”
“Have you gotten any unsolicited dick pics?”
“No . . .”
Brianna took a deep breath. “That�
��s because I love you too much to have done it, even in my blind rage. Isn’t that fact worth something to you?”
Rhea considered changing her phone number anyway and keeping their interactions to social media exclusively. “I’ll . . . talk to Steve tomorrow,” she said, dropping the subject. “You collect whatever boxes you can get donated to you. Don’t be afraid of playing up your rack. You’ve got assets, use them.”
Brianna’s eyes darkened but she said nothing.
“And we’ll see about getting you moved as soon as possible?”
Brianna nodded. “Thanks for being a better friend to me than I’ve been to you. I don’t know how, but I’ll return this favor. I promise.”
Rhea waved her off. “Knowing you’re not homeless is thanks enough.” And that, she considered, was paying it forward from when Huvie rescued her from Brianna’s apartment.
As Rhea settled into bed around ten thirty—mentally praising herself for not giving in to Brianna’s seductions—her phone buzzed with a text from Adam.
He said, I know it’s late. If you’re still awake can we please Skype? Just need to see your beautiful face.
She sighed. She was already dozing but wouldn’t dream of saying no to such a sweet request. Yeah, she responded. Be there in a sex. The message sent before she could correct the last word. “Oops.” Rhea dragged herself from bed to her desk, lifting the laptop open. “Hurry up,” she said to it. “I’m tired.”
A couple minutes later, Windows loaded and she opened Skype.
When Adam’s window came on, he greeted her, “My sexy girl!”
Rhea yawned. “Hey sweetie, what’s up?”
“Brianna just sent me a bunch of messages.”
“I’m so sorry, I’ll tell her to stop.”
“No,” said Adam, “don’t. She was just telling me what an amazing woman you are. I wanted to thank you to your face. You’re doing such a good thing.”
Rhea smiled, a little sweet and a little pained. “Thanks.”
“She also described to me how lucky I am. How gorgeous you are.”
“O—oh?”
“I think she has a little crush on you. How cute is that?”
“Yeah, that’s . . . wild.” She tried not to flinch, rubbing brusquely at her collarbone.
“Not gonna lie: The thought of you with another woman? Huge turn-on.”
Rhea’s eyebrows jumped. She didn’t ever think he was that different from the average man, at least in terms of his sexual interests. Still, to hear it so bluntly from him, to essentially have been given his blessing to indulge her fantasies gave her pause. No. I’m not doing that to myself again.
“Maybe it’s something you’d consider some day when we’re together? I dunno, as a birthday gift for me? Or something. You know.” He shrugged. “Whatever. Never mind. Forget I suggested it.”
“Are you so sure you’d be okay with that? I’m sure in theory it sounds good but not so much in practice . . .”
Adam smiled sheepishly. “If I could watch—”
“Did Brianna put you up to this?”
“Honey. The thought’s been in my head ever since I found out about your—” He put the words in air quotes: “—girl crushes.”
“So it wouldn’t be cheating on you if I were to . . .” She circled her hand in the air. “. . . you know.”
“Not at all!” He shook his head. “Just as long as you tell me every little thing and don’t skimp on the detail. Seriously. I’d want to know everything.”
That was good to know, Rhea supposed. Though she vowed to never again fool around with Brianna, at least she could stop feeling so damn guilty for what they’d already done. Maybe she would even tell Adam about it sometime, although she couldn’t get over the nagging feeling Brianna already did so on her behalf.
“Well. Anyway. I know it’s late, get your rest. Okay? I love you.”
Rhea smiled. “I love you, too.”
Adam left her with two words before he switched off Skype. “Sweet dreams.”
“Steve, hi. It’s Rhea from 36D.” She paced in her kitchen while clutching her cellphone with a sweaty palm.
“Hi, Rhea. Whatcha need?” replied Steve.
“Well, I was just calling because I know someone who needs the cheapest unit you’ve got available before April. Something maybe in mid-March, I guess?”
“You’re referring someone!” Rhea heard a snap or maybe a clap on his end of their conversation. “Fantastic. I’ve got a couple one-bedrooms available next week, and a studio that may be open toward the end of March if the tenants clear out earlier, and assuming they kept their apartment in good shape.”
“Okay . . .” Maybe Brianna could sleep on Rhea’s sofa if things didn’t line up just right. It looked as though they might not; on her own, Brianna would only be able to afford a studio apartment. “Um, I was also wondering, if you had the word of a trusted tenant—namely me—could you maybe lower the security deposit? She’s a clean tenant, she has no pets and doesn’t smoke.” Oh please don’t make me regret this.
“We’re starting a half-off security deposit promotion next month but I’m sure I could make an exception. We’re also waiving first month’s rent for new occupants.”
Rhea found it unfair how apartment companies bent over backward to lure in new tenants and conversely did so little to keep the ones they had.
From a business standpoint, it made perfect sense; these companies banked on moves being such inherently sucky things that to avoid doing them was incentive enough for a tenant to stay once moved in.
As a renter herself, she found the policy impressively unfair. Maybe someday she would own a home and all this bullshit would become nothing more than an obnoxious memory.
“Perfect,” said Rhea. “Thanks so much. Her name’s Brianna Huntington and she should be by to talk to you sometime in the next few days.”
“Thanks Rhea. Have a good evening.”
“You’re welcome—you, too.” Rhea ended the call and texted Brianna: Steve down at my leasing office is expecting you within the next few days. Half off security & 1st month’s rent free. She tossed the phone on her bed to tend her laundry.
Brianna replied at some point before Rhea returned twenty-five minutes later. Thx Rhea ur the best! IOU 1. XOXO
Rhea rolled her eyes, nonetheless replying: You’re welcome. Keep me informed.
Chapter 5: In Which Not Even The Author Knows What’s True
wo months later after only brief and occasional lukewarm interactions made publicly via social media, Rhea arrived at Brianna’s apartment by six in the morning, bringing with her two Sausage and Egg McMuffins and a pair of small mocha Frappes.
It was a close call but they made it just in time for Brianna to finish out her lease and start anew at Rhea’s complex with the only available studio.
“I thought you might need a boost of enthusiasm for this so I brought some goodies,” Rhea said stiffly when Brianna opened her door.
“Oh my God Rhea, you are the actual best. But believe it or not, I was excited for this anyway. Come in, come in.”
Rhea reluctantly stepped inside, setting the food on the kitchen table.
“It’ll be so good to get away from the place I shared with Travis and it comes with the added bonus of getting to spend all weekend with you.”
“Oh?” Rhea faltered. “Oh. Okay. Yay. Well, um, let’s eat and get a move on, so to speak.”
After eating, Brianna got to work packing her living room and Rhea started in the kitchen, wrapping plates, bowls, and glasses with dish cloths and fitting them into a box. Where Rhea hadn’t been left with much following her divorce, Travis left Brianna with less.
In a matter of fifteen minutes, Rhea moved on to cookware, bakeware, and utensils. She finished in the kitchen around the same time Brianna closed her last box of living room items.
“I’ll get started in the bedroom. Will you take the bath?” Brianna asked.
Rhea shrugged. “Sure. Why not?”
The bathroom, with its under-the-sink half-cabinet and complete lack of medicine cabinet took Rhea under ten minutes to pack. The only thing left out was the bottle of soap—with a spit of cleanser remaining—a washcloth desperately in need of laundering, and a half-used roll of single-ply toilet paper. She marked the box and added it to the stacks in the living room.
Upon returning to the bedroom to help finish, Rhea found Brianna sitting on her bed with an open photo album on her lap. “Okay. That’s not packing.”
“I’m trying to decide if I should throw this out.”
“Why would you junk it?”
“I don’t need the bad memories.”
Rhea frowned. “Every photo in there brings back bad memories?’
“No.” Brianna flipped a couple pages. “There was this trip to Mount Whitney.” She pointed to a picture of herself standing beside her older sister in front of white mountains. With a chuckle, she said, “We actually got along that trip. For most of it, anyway.”
“So should I maybe start on your dresser? It’ll be easier to move if the drawers are empty, and you’ve got plenty of open boxes left.”
Brianna nodded and replied absently, “Please.”
Rhea grabbed one of the empty boxes and pulled open the top drawer which was filled with bras. She owned a half-dozen of them to Brianna’s veritable Victoria’s Secret. While she moved the bras into a box, she listened to Brianna tearing photographs from her album one by one.
Second drawer down revealed another array of bras. My God. She wasn’t joking about being obsessed.
“Oh wow.”
Rhea glanced at Brianna as she peeled a photograph from the album. “What is it?” Rhea asked.
“The sleepover at Vegas Comp. Remember that?” Brianna gazed at the picture.
Rhea set the bras into a box and closed it. Bras, she wrote on it with a black Sharpie. Box 1 of __. She grabbed another empty box.
“You’re in this one.”
Rhea leaned over to look at it. “Oh yeah. There I am. On my sleeping bag by myself in the corner with my face in a book.” She squinted to see which. Vampire Diaries? No, she’d read those in middle school. Valentine? That was more likely to have been her high school reading.
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