by Matthew Lee
We got chairs and drinks situated and plopped down to soak up sunlight.
“Oh,” said Dawn. “Lily, I saw you mentioned in the Journal. Good job. They said your play was awesome and you especially stood out.”
Randy raised a beer in toast.
“Thank you both,” Lily said. “I was a wreck. The director is well known and this was my biggest production. I’m so relieved it went well.”
“What’s next?”
“I’m not sure. Hamlet is auditioning at the Smith Center in August. Streetcar in October. I’m hoping I can build on my success and move a few spots up the ladder. Who knows? This business is crazy.”
“Maybe the director will fly you out for the show in New York?”
“What?”
“Did you not read your own review?” Dawn asked.
Lily looked at me.
“Lily does not read reviews.” I said.
“Smart. At the end of the article they interviewed the director and he said he’d received funding to run the show in New York City. I wondered if he’d take you with him. He has little time to prepare and you already know the show and everything.”
Lily looked at me again, her eyes hopeful and frightened.
“I’ll go find your phone,” I said.
I returned with it and Lily thumbed through dozens of congratulation text messages. Then she stopped and covered her mouth with a hand.
“Holy shit.” She handed me the phone.
I read: “Hey Lily, can you spend a few weekends away from home? I want you to star in my New York version of the show. I’ll provide airfare. Let me know.”
“When did he send that?” she asked.
“Yesterday while we were at the afterparty.”
All four of us looked at each other. Lily turned to me. “What do you think?”
“Are you kidding? I think you’re going to New York.”
Lily screamed with excitement. I gave the phone back and she went inside to make the call.
“You’re cool with her going to New York alone?” Randy said.
“Yes. Of course.”
He scoffed. “No way would I trust this one out on her own.” He jerked a thumb at Dawn who playfully bit her bottom lip and raised her eyebrows twice. “She’d end up drunk with a dick in her mouth the first night.” He laughed hard at his own tacky joke. I expected Dawn to be offended but she laughed along. I chuckled to be polite.
“Maybe I’m naïve,” I said. “But Lily is so focused on acting I doubt she’d even notice other men.”
Dawn asked for another beer so I plucked one from the cooler and handed it to her. Randy leaned back and stretched like the conversation had finished, so I did too. Lily returned soon and explained all the details. She’d arranged her schedule with Macys and Sebastian. She’d fly out Thursday nights and return Sunday nights. The show ran four weekends in a row and she left in two weeks. I checked my calendar and said I could only make the last weekend with her.
“That’s perfect, Honey. I can wrap up and fly home with you after the last show. I can’t believe this is happening!”
Chapter 6
Two weeks zipped by. She worked extra hours at Macys to cover her time away and I got busy too. I drove her to the airport Thursday night and we had time for a quick cup of coffee and then her flight was at the gate. We kissed, we hugged, and she got on the plane.
Fucking Randy’s warning followed me all the way home. I expected we’d text and talk on the phone when we could but that three-hour time difference, combined with our crazy work schedules, messed us up. Our first live conversation didn’t happen until Sunday night while she sat at the airport, ready to come home. We caught up on the week’s happenings and talked about how much we missed each other. She got home around eleven at night, I picked her up, and we raced home to get to sleep. She was exhausted and so was I. Early Monday morning we started our work week again and Thursday night saw her back on a plane. We repeated this pattern three weekends in a row.
As her final weekend approached, I finally had things under control at work and Thursday night I flew to New York with her. She had no time to spare and I must admit I was impressed by her disciplined schedule. She’d rented a little single room apartment close to the theater and had the neighborhood mapped for the best coffee, sandwiches, Italian food, and wine.
She had to go to the theater for a closing-night rehearsal and she asked me to pack up her apartment for her. Afterward I followed her maps to a great family owned coffee shop and had a cup before the show. No backstage access for me this time. I left early to find my seat before the place filled up.
The theater building was old enough the stonework had worn from weather and all the sidewalks slabs tilted randomly. The crowd was already arriving and when I saw the line to park I knew why. Terrible parking arrangements can ruin an event. I checked my heavy coat and found my seat. This place was two or three times the size of the theater back home and a sense of pride in all Lily had accomplished rose in me.
The lights flickered after a long wait and an appreciative murmur swept the crowd. People took their seats. The lights went down. The play began.
The leading man made Jimmy look like an awkward schoolboy. Cut from the same cloth to have the same look, his presence commanded the stage. He projected his voice until the baritone notes rang off the walls. I worried so much for Lily sharing a stage with him but even with the increase in talent from a large city, Lily stood out.
As she moved I noticed subtle changes in her; she stood taller, her shoulders square, her eyes unafraid. Her comedy lines got the most laughs, her sad lines brought the most tears. When we arrived at the first romantic scene, the crowd fell into a hush. I noted the play had been rewritten slightly and during a moment heavy with dialog, Lily’s strap fell from her shoulder perfectly timed, exposing her full breast almost to the nipple. She looked wildly sexy and vulnerable.
At last we reached the final scene. As before the lights dimmed only to brighten to a bedroom in a small apartment. Lily and her leading man were already in bed, talking. Leading Man rolled over between her legs and held himself over her. Cue the hand on his arm, cue the strand of hair, cue the playful slap. Perfection.
When his hips moved, they curled forward and under, and Lily’s head fell back onto her pillow with a long, convincing moan. An electric wave passed over the audience. Leading Man crawled forward on his knees a few inches and again his hips dipped and moved. Lily moved her hands to his face, which she pulled down for a heartfelt and meaningful kiss on the mouth. His goddamn hips worked again and I swear under the covers I saw hers rise to meet his.
What the fuck was I watching here? I glanced quickly at the crowd and they were mesmerized. I could cut the sexual tension in the air with a spoon. Back on stage I noted their lines had been changed to extend the love scene and the actors now swapped breathless dialog, building towards climax. When Lily’s ankles appeared above the edge of the blanket and crossed behind his back, I moaned. Nobody noticed or cared what I did. They were watching one of the hottest love scenes ever.
He moved faster and Lily gripped each side of the mattress, exposing her big, swaying, bouncing tits. Her long black hair all over the pillow framed her beautiful face, her expression of ecstasy visible even from this far back. Her head snapped back and she emitted an orgasmic cry which I fully recognized and then Leading Man joined her with a roar of his own and she grabbed his face and pulled him down for a long kiss.
The pause while they recovered their breath was sublime and they continued their lines with flawless timing. Had that all been an act? I was sweating and trembling. Lily put her hands to her face and uttered the plays last lines and fade to black, draw curtain.
The appreciative roar was tumultuous. Seat-pounding, foot-stomping, applause shook the walls. Everyone was on their feet. I looked around in disbelief. Did all these sophisticated city folks not understand what they’d just witnessed? Or do two strangers fucking for their entertainme
nt represent an admirable level of dedication to the craft? I applauded too but my heart was elsewhere.
The crowd kept going. Soon the curtain parted and the cast stepped out to take their bows. Lily and Leading Man wore short, silk robes, hers green and his brown. Four bows later the crowd finally began to taper off so the actors could get on with their night. I had no idea what I would say to her. Congratulations, sure. Job well done, of course. But how do I work in a did that guy fuck you, Lily?
I sat and waited for the crowd to thin. I was supposed to meet her in the lobby so we could head for the airport but minutes later she came walking down the aisle towards me, looking sheepish. She wore black sweat pants and a gray hoodie and the closer she got the guiltier her face became. Before I could say anything, she reached up to kiss me quickly and stepped back.
“Yes,” she said.
“Yes, what?” A chill raced through me.
“I know the question you want answered so I’m just putting it out there right away; yes.”
She looked around at the people close to us. My heart began a slow, crumbling, collapse. I wasn’t angry and I wasn’t sad. Her blunt admission jumped us to the end of the conversation where we had to deal with outcomes. I never had the chance to build up to anything.
“But?” I managed.
She glanced around again and some were starting to realize here was the star of the show. She stepped up to me, whispering; “I can’t take you to my dressing room because Trevor is still backstage, but I need to get away from all these people if we’re going to talk about this like we should.”
My brain was doing cartwheels. I had a million questions and thought of more every second. One shoved to the front of the line and needed answering right now.
I lowered my voice. “Did, did he cum in you?”
Deep furrows formed on her forehead and pleading eyes met mine. “Shit. Yes, Baby, can we not do this here?”
I looked around and saw a spiral staircase up to the balcony which was now empty. I took her hand and led the way. We moved to the last row by the back wall and spoke in hushed tones.
“What the fuck, Lily? Did I see you orgasm?”
“Oh, my God, Luke. These are the questions you want answered?”
“Yes. Did I see you orgasm?”
“You did.”
“Was tonight the first time he’s been inside you?”
She hung her head. “No.”
“Are you leaving me for him?”
“What? How can you ask that? No! Of course not.”
“Then what the fuck is going on? Did I agree to let you fuck your costars and forget? First Jimmy and now this guy?”
“Trevor. His name is Trevor.”
“Oh, okay. You know what? Fuck Trevor. You’re married. I should go down there and punch him in the face.”
“It’s not his fault, Baby, it’s mine. If you must hit someone, hit me.”
That got to me. I melted a bit. Her goddamn eyes were huge and sorrowful and just the image of me raising my hand to her cut deep. I calmed down.
“I don’t want to hit you.”
She took my hands in hers. “The play was doing well but last weekend, like with Jimmy, Trevor accidently dipped inside me a bit. After Jimmy, I knew that could happen so I stayed professional but when I didn’t freak out or chase him away, he figured I wanted it and pushed deeper. That scene stole the show. It was all the critics wrote about the next day; our powerful and seemingly real chemistry. They didn’t know he was actually in me, they thought we were acting. Tonight, before the show, I saw four of the biggest names in the business in the audience so I told Trevor to do it again. Once he was inside we followed our instincts and I was right. We killed it. I was wrong to do it but try to understand it was not exactly what it looked like.”
“You were just acting.”
“Exactly.”
“That cum in your pussy is real!”
“Regrettably. We went much farther than I intended. Much. We got caught up in an improvisational moment.”
I was quiet for a while. Did I believe her? Did she just pull a fast one on me, fucking a guy she wanted anyway and blaming it all on her commitment to her craft?
“I think this means I get to fuck someone else too,” I said. “There has to be some balancing force here or you could just do whatever you want and blame it on acting.”
That was a punch in the gut. Tears welled. She looked down at her hands.
“Alright. Fair is fair.” Her voice was thick with emotion. She sighed and gave me a weak smile. “But the scene really worked, didn’t it?”
Good God, was she ever beautiful. I guess the conversation was closed. I knew I’d never fuck someone else, I just wanted some power in a situation where I felt I had none.
“Baby, the whole room was mesmerized. I could have heard a pin drop. On carpet.”
In all our years of marriage we’d never such a complex moment as this. Her cheating was a technicality. She wasn’t sneaking around behind my back. There was no relationship there, no intimacy or emotional attraction. Penetration occurred in a void.
Penetration. An image of his cock and her pussy appeared in my mind. Was he big like Jimmy? This time I had no Violet to spy on.
“Does he have a big cock?”
Lily’s face froze. I had my answer.
“Terrific.”
Two for two. What are the odds?
“Who’s bigger; Jimmy or Trevor?”
“Jesus Christ, Luke. About the same.”
She was looking at me like I was insane. Who asks questions like this? Men do, that’s who. She should have heard the questions I wasn’t asking because they seemed too weird; did he shoot a lot of sperm? Does his cock feel better than mine? Do you want to fuck him again? These I left unspoken. I feared the answers.
“We have a plane to catch,” she said, eventually. I sighed and stood and offered my hand. She took it and I raised her hand to my mouth and kissed the back.
“Go get your stuff,” I said. “I’ll wait here.”
She hesitated and I realized she hoped for a kiss on the lips. I was hurt and agitated and jealous and confused, but I didn’t hate her. I kissed her tenderly and held her tight. She kind of melted into me and started to cry but stopped herself quickly.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. She meant it.
“I know, Baby.”
She shuffled down the staircase and made her way backstage. Trevor was back there. I started counting the minutes, ready to get angry if she spent too much time. She backed into the hallway waving to all her new friends, a gym bag over her shoulder. She briskly walked up the aisle and I met her at the base of the stairs. On the street, we hailed a cab and stopped at her apartment for the luggage. Before too long we were seated on the plane headed for home.
Chapter 7
Back to normal, right? Wrong. Weird things were happening in my head. My jealous streak was inflamed and I gave threatening looks to several men when Lily and I were out together. I noticed them checking her out, which was natural because she’s hot, but I got angry.
On the other hand, my dick wanted to get hard all the time. My sex-drive shot through the roof. Lily welcomed it. I think she worried I’d leave her or not want her any more so my interest was reassuring. I also think the extra sex was a way to placate her guilt, but I did not fully understand it. We’d hold hands and I’d get hard. We’d kiss and I’d get hard. She’d fucking smile at me from across the room and I’d get hard. What the hell? Way at the back of my brain I think I was competing with Jimmy and Trevor and I liked it. I’m naturally aggressive. I’ve been told many times I have a strong personality. I never back down from a fight and at work I have the reputation of a bulldog. Those two men had stolen something from me and I was trying to get it back. I was getting road-head weekly. I fucked Lily in a Victoria Secret dressing room.
The Center cast her as Blanche in Streetcar and for twelve weeks she played a safe role buried in modest costumes.
I was at work when my cell rang and Lily excitedly told me Sebastian’s play had won an award and we both were flying to New York for the ceremony. I was happy for her. Truly. But, you know, Trevor. I booked a room at the Marriot overlooking Times Square.
We flew after work Friday night and settled in. Saturday, we enjoyed a lovely walk around Central Park and then lunch at Le Bernardin. Back at the hotel room I put on my tux and she her long black sparkling ballgown. Her cleavage was impressive. Sebastian arranged a limo to bring us to the event at the Barrymore Theater.
I had no idea what to expect. I’d seen awards shows on television but what the audience sees is always so planned and controlled. Turns out the experience matched what I seen. The limo dropped us at the curb and there was a decent sized gathering. This was not the Oscars or even the Tonys and the crowd was more casual and rowdy. We walked the red carpet as camera flashed. There were stars there bigger than Lily, of course, and a whole level of well-knowns below them, but every time the rare person called her name or asked for an autograph she beamed.
Inside there were about three hundred of us. Producers, directors, playwrights, actors; anyone associated with the business. The ceremony moved along smoothly with the occasional political tirade and then Sebastian’s name was called and the cast joined him on stage. I noticed Trevor stood directly behind Lily, towering over my petite wife and flustering her. Sebastian graciously gave the cast and crew all the credit and the audience loved it.
My lovely Lily carefully eased her ass into Trevor.
I may have been the only person in the auditorium that noticed, and that’s only because I know her so well, but that small parting of her lips told me she felt him up against her.
My goddamn traitorous dick started to grow.
I scrutinized Lily’s face with obsessive intensity. She was only being playful with a man she’d not seen for a long time. She was flirting. She was happy. She was having fun. They’d shared weeks of emotional connection. That doesn’t just evaporate.