“Get out!” a woman screamed, shocking the absolute shit out of me.
Now hurrying to yank the t-shirt off and away from my face so I could see who the fuck was screaming at me, I became aware I was standing in front of Stella. A wet, towel-covered Stella. Shit! I completely forgot.
“What are you doing here?” she screeched, holding the towel to her body.
I couldn’t help but take in her damp golden legs and how her wet hair hung long, clinging to her neck, shoulders and the tops of her tits.
“Lawson!” she yelled again, snapping my eyes and thoughts from the roaming of her body. “What are you doing here? Get out!”
I locked eyes with her and gave her a small apologetic grin. “I live here.”
T H R E E
Let’s try this again
He lives here? Oh hell no. This is not good. “You can’t,” I stuttered like an idiot, clasping my towel tighter.
He raised his hand and gripped the back of his neck, showcasing his extremely ripped chest for the second time that day. “Um ... yeah, I can and I do. Meg is my sister and this is our house.”
Desperate to tear my gaze away from his body, I bent down to retrieve my clothes when my towel popped open and partly fell to the floor. “Shit!” I gasped¸ squatting completely and fumbling with one hand in order to cover up.
I couldn’t reach the other end of my stupid towel without exposing more of myself, so I opted to just hug my legs instead. “Get out! Please, just get out!” I begged. Oh my god, this day could not get any worse.
Lawson’s booted feet stopped before me, prompting an intake of warm, steam-filled air to my lungs as I took a deep breath. I couldn’t move. I was frozen solid, vulnerable and half naked in front of a stranger who had seen more of my body in the few hours I’d known him than I would have liked.
Still crouched down, I flinched slightly when the towel I had abandoned was draped across my back, covering my body completely. Lawson then helped me stand, keeping his eyes locked on mine and not letting them stray like he had earlier that day. Straightaway, I noticed something different within them, something they conveyed that seemed to calm me instantly.
“Stella, please don’t be afraid of me. The last thing I want is for you to be scared whenever I’m around for fear that I’m some sick pervert. Let’s get one thing straight right here, right now ... I’m not a sick pervert, okay? I had no idea you were in here. Swear to fucking god. And as for earlier today, I didn’t mean to cause whatever it was that happened between us by the side of the road. The way I acted was low. Really low,” he explained in a calm tone, tucking in my towel but keeping his eyes on mine, and his hands respectful. “So ... taking into account that we will be seeing each other a hell of a lot while you are staying here, how about we start this all over again?” He smiled coyly and held out his hand for me to shake. “Hi, I’m Lawson Drake.”
I stared, dumbfounded, at his outstretched, calloused and slightly grease-smeared hand, deliberating whether or not to wipe the slate clean. He did seem genuinely remorseful and, to be honest, our faux pas introduction wasn’t entirely his fault.
Tentatively, I placed my hand on top of his and smiled meekly, finding his light-blue eyes through my lashes. “Nice to meet you, Lawson. I’m Stella, Stella Walker.”
He grinned and, for the first time since meeting him, I was able to really survey the man standing before me. Wow! He was cute. Really cute. Hot even, as in burn-my-nether-regions hot. Gruff, tanned, tattooed and completely ripped-as-hell hot. The well-defined muscles of his shoulders, arms, chest and abdomen indicated he had a friendly relationship going on with a set of weights. And his hair! His straight, dark-blond hair was free from the ponytail that had held it previously and now sat just below his chin.
We both stood there smiling and shaking hands for longer than necessary when I realised I was still draped in a towel and not in a position to be making small talk. “Um ... do you mind waiting outside until after I’m dressed, please?” I asked, retracting my hand.
Lawson took a couple of steps backward, finally dropping his gaze to my towel-covered body before turning around and heading for the door. “Yeah, of course. Take your time.”
I giggled. “Thanks.”
He stopped, turned to face me and displayed an incredible smile. “Now that was nice,” he said with amusement.
Confused, I raised an eyebrow. “What was?”
“That sound you just made.”
I giggled again. “What sound?”
“That one. It sounds nice. You should do it more often,” he answered before turning and leaving the room.
Staring at the white-painted hardwood door he had just closed behind him, I was momentarily stunned, speechless. What the hell? A giggle? It sounded nice ... I should do it more often?
“I do giggle, don’t I?” I whispered to myself.
Well, I used to giggle. A lot. Before the ... I couldn’t bring myself to say it and, unable to prevent the onset of emotion, the enemies that were my tears began to well in my eyes, threatening to spill over and torment me with their victory. I blinked them back, having become accustomed to doing so. They weren’t going to win. No, Stella, no tears. This is a fresh start; a new beginning. A life without pain. Estelle Munroe is no longer. She is gone. Dead. You are Stella Walker now.
Repeating the pep talk that had become my daily mantra, I noticed my reflection in the mirror. A lost woman stared back at me. A woman who was a soulless shell, a damaged, irreparable being who no longer had a plan ... a purposeful life. A woman who barely survived each day; who barely breathed. What I found in the mirror was that all-too painful reminder.
I turned away. I didn’t want to reflect that image any more. That woman evoked pain, and I was done with pain.
* * *
After drying myself and changing into shorts and a t-shirt, I made my way to the kitchen where Meg was setting the table. “Oh, here ... let me help you with that,” I offered, hurrying to her side.
Meg and I had sat for the better part of the afternoon getting to know one another over a cup of coffee. Well ... to be completely honest, I got to know her, not the other way around. What I chose to divulge about my past was limited, but it was enough to keep her inquisitiveness at bay.
The family resemblance between Meg and Lawson was uncanny now that I was aware of it. Like her brother, Meg had blonde hair, blue eyes and a warm aura. She was kind, candid and forthcoming. I liked her, and I could see why Todd did as well.
“Thanks,” she replied with an apologetic smile. “Listen, Stella, I am sosorry for what happened with Lawson. I completely forgot you were in the shower and basically sent him straight in. Honestly, it wasn’t his fault, it was mine.”
My cheeks instantly flushed at the memory of my embarrassing bathroom encounter, so I kept my head down and concentrated on the false intricacy of laying out knives and forks. “Oh, don’t worry about it,” I said, dismissively. “It was a simple mistake. He just frightened me, that’s all.”
“Actually, I think you frightened him more than he did you.”
Looking up, my gaze met hers. She bit her bottom lip, which made me laugh. “Yeah, I think you might be right.”
“My sister is always right,” Lawson declared as he entered the room, freshly showered and cleanly shaved. He’d put on a pair of khaki cargo shorts and a plain white tee, which fitted snugly against his chest. His hair was once again pulled back in a ponytail.
I gave him a docile smile then returned my stare to the cutlery and placemats before me, which was when his freshly showered scent drifted over me as he walked by.
“So what are you right about this time?” he asked Meg.
“Does it matter? I’m always right.”
“No, not really.” He continued toward the fridge and opened it. “Shit! We’re nearly out of beer.”
Meg glanced in his direction and sarcastically smiled. “Don’t worry, Todd will be back any minute with some more. You won’t die fro
m withdrawal.”
Lawson sighed with relief and grabbed a VB, then turned in my direction, offering it to me. “Beer?”
I looked at the stubby as if it were about to have a discussion with me, knowing full well that beer did not talk. “Um ...”
“Todd is bringing back wine if you’d prefer that,” Meg offered, sensing my reluctance.
“Um ... no, beer is fine.”
“You don’t sound so sure,” Lawson said, a smug but playful expression on his face as he unscrewed the cap and held it out to me, as if trying to call my bluff.
Squaring my shoulders, I took it from him. “Thank you. And for your information, I do like beer. I just don’t drink often.”
He went to grab it back. “Hey, you don’t have to drink it. I didn’t mean to pressure you, I —”
“You didn’t pressure me,” I countered calmly. “The beer is fine. Thanks.”
Not really wanting to, but doing it anyway, I pressed the rim of the bottle to my lips and tipped it up to skol the contents, all the while eyeing him heatedly. I wasn’t sure what it was about him, but he possessed a quality that made me want to prove him wrong or to challenge him in one way or another. The feeling was disconcerting, as it wasn’t one I normally had. Plus, I didn’t even know the guy. Talk about confusion.
I finished my pathetic stubborn show, placed the bottle down on the table, and gave him a sweet but sarcastic smile. He furrowed his brow in return and glanced at Meg just as Todd walked in the door.
“Smells great, babe,” Todd announced, kissing Meg on the cheek before setting the shopping bags down on the benchtop. “So, how was the shower, Stel?”
Lawson, Meg and I exchanged deer-in-headlight looks before I let out a loud laugh. “It was ... revealing,” I explained, winking in Meg and Lawson’s direction. They appeared to be relieved, both of them relaxing their stance and laughing along with me.
“Revealing? What?” Todd wrinkled his nose while taking in the three of us chuckling.
“Yes, let’s just say you may need a lock on the door,” I added, pursing my lips and raising my eyebrows.
Lawson put down his beer, the harsh thud on the benchtop hinting at his frustration. “We don’t.”
“Why would we need a loc—” Todd cut himself short when realisation dawned on him, and he gave Lawson a suspicious glare. “Mate, you didn’t.”
“Yeah, he did,” Meg and I said simultaneously.
Lawson raised his arms and threaded his hands, placing them on his head. “It was a fuckin’ accident.”
The raising of his arms hitched the seam of his t-shirt enough to display his lower abdomen and obliques. I nearly gasped. Shit! Stella, you’ve barely had one beer. One. Pull yourself together. What’s wrong with you?
Picking up my beer and taking another skol — because obviously, I needed it — I averted my gaze as Meg started dishing up the lasagne. The beef and tomato aroma smelled divine, so I focussed on that. Pasta, meat, sauce and cheese. Pasta, meat, sauce and cheese. Lawson, abs, skin and V. Fuck!
We each filled our plate then sat around the table, which was when Todd started firing questions at me, questions I did not want to answer, but knew would surface eventually.
“So, Stel, apart from you having a shitload of holiday leave, what brings you to Pittstown?”
“You,” I answered with a sweet satirical smile before popping a forkful of lasagne into my mouth.
“Apart from me,” he said, giving me his don’t-fucking-shit-me look, one which had not changed in five years. If anything, he had perfected it.
I diverted my gaze to Meg and offered her some much deserved praise, hoping it would result in the avoidance of his question. “Mmm ... this is so good, Meg.”
It didn’t work; all of them waited patiently for me to finish.
Sighing in frustration, I relented. “It really is just you, Todd. I’ve worked my arse off for the past four years. I needed a break. I needed to get away ... and, anyway, I missed you,” I answered, my response mostly truthful.
He nodded. “Okay, fair enough. I’m the kind of guy that can leave you pining, I get that.” His obvious attempt to keep his face impassive was a complete failure.
I smiled fondly. He hadn’t changed. And physically, Todd really hadn’t changed much at all either. His hair was still dark brown — bordering on black — and his eyes were the brightest blue I’d ever seen. Todd was the epitome of tall, dark and handsome, and even though we’d been related by marriage when we were younger, back then I’d still appreciated his spunkiness.
“Conceited much?” Meg teased, elbowing him in the ribs.
Lawson rolled his eyes and took a swig of his beer before placing it back down on the table and smiling. “So what do you do for a living, Stella?”
“I’m a nurse,” I confidently replied.
He choked on his mouthful and laughed. “No shit. Really?”
“Yes,” I answered with a smug smile, knowing very well why he was choking.
Meg looked from Lawson to me, her eyelids narrowing. “Am I missing something here?”
“No.” I laughed. “Well yes, kind of. Earlier today when Lawson and I first met, he joked about me being a nurse. At the time, I didn’t tell him that he was correct.”
She nodded dubiously and smiled, which made me feel awkward. It also made me want nothing more than to change the subject from me to absolutely anything else. Hell, the growing of grass, or even politics, would do. “So, Meg, what is it that you do for a living?”
“I manage a daycare centre in Shepparton,” she mumbled around her mouthful, smiling proudly at me.
Summoning up as much enthusiasm as I could muster, I tried not to shudder, instead firing a dishonest smile in her direction. “That’s nice.” The thought of a daycare centre set the hairs on the back of my neck to standing on end.
All those children.
All those small children.
It wasn’t that I harboured a dislike for children, because I didn’t. I just found it difficult to be around them. I couldn’t relax. They just ... they just made me edgy. Once upon a time, I’d had confidence where kids were concerned. Actually, I’d had confidence where everything was concerned. Now? Not so much.
Todd let out a small laugh and directed a what-the-hell-was-that look at me. “Jeez, Stel, that sounded convincing.”
“Sorry, I ... I didn’t mean it like that,” I explained, wishing they weren’t all gawking at me like I was some child-hating freak. I changed the subject yet again before nervously skolling more beer. “So, Lawson, you said this was your and Meg’s house. It’s lovely.” Stupid, Stella. Stupid. Coming here was a stupid idea. They think you’re crazy.
“Thanks,” he replied with a slight tilt of his head, his expression indicating he thought I was stupid. See? STU-pid. Do they have sinkholes in Pittstown? Ones that swallow you up when you’re an idiot? Ugh!
Lawson then continued before I could excuse myself and run for the hills. “When Mum passed away a few years back, she left it to us,” he explained before serving himself another helping of lasagne.
I dipped my head and took another bite of my own meal. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thanks, but don’t be sorry. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Mum’s death was sudden. Pancreatic cancer. One minute she was vibrant and healthy and the next she wasn’t. It was what it was,” he said stoically.
Grabbing my beer and finishing it off, I raised my eyes to meet Meg’s and then Lawson’s. “That must’ve been incredibly hard.”
“It was,” Lawson responded flatly, as Meg nodded. He then opted to change the subject, and I couldn’t blame him. “You want another?”
Gesturing to my near-empty bottle, he pushed his seat back and made his way to the fridge. It was clear he did not want to talk about his late mother any more. I respected that. I also appreciated his offering of another beer. It seemed a good distraction from the heavy topics, not to mention the refreshing ale was
slowly calming my raging nerves.
“Yes, please. So, did you find out what was wrong with my car, by any chance?”
“Yeah, you’ve blown the head gasket like I thought,” he explained, returning to the table and handing Todd and me another beer each. “I’ll send it off to Shep tomorrow. Should take a week or so before it’s repaired and sent back.”
“Crap! Is that expensive?”
He diverted his gaze from mine. “No, not really.”
“Why don’t I believe you?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.
“Stella, it’s fine. The part doesn’t cost much at all. It’s the labour involved that is what normally adds up. But, seeing as you are practically family, and because business is slow at the moment, fixing your car won’t be an issue.”
“Oh, okay ... thank you. Are you sure though? I really don’t want to be a nuisance.”
Todd laughed. “You? Not wanting to be a nuisance?”
I fired him a playful glare. “Yes, me. The last thing I want is to cause any trouble.”
“It really is no trouble at all, Stella,” Lawson said, leaning back on his chair.
“Okay, but please let me know what I owe you.”
I emphasised my point with a stern tone, because the last thing I needed — or wanted, for that matter — was to be indebted to him, or anyone. My sole reason for coming to Pittstown was for a fresh start. A new chapter in my life. And I planned on doing it on my own. I would owe nobody anything.
* * *
A week passed quickly, and I settled in quite well. Pittstown was quiet and lived up to its name — a pit of not much at all. Like the majority of rural towns on the Murray River border, it comprised the bare necessities: a school, doctor’s surgery, supermarket, post office, mechanic’s workshop, community hall and some eateries. That. Was. About. It.
To be honest, the serenity was nice. Peaceful, even. The locals meandered about town, pleasant yet sombre, getting on with their day-in, day-out activities. I liked the subdued atmosphere, except for the fact that small towns meant word travelled fast. And word surrounding the arrival of Todd’s long-lost sister was currently winning the land-speed record.
Discovering Stella Page 3