by Elly Blake
“A long day,” I agreed, rolling up a clean bandage and storing it in a basket kept handy for the healers.
“If you don’t need me, milady, I’m going to bed.” She dried her hands on a clean rag and rubbed her lower back as she straightened.
We shared a room on one of the lower floors of the manor house. It had two beds, but I’d barely used mine. As tired as I was, I couldn’t sleep at night. I felt too jumpy and anxious to relax unless it was a quick catnap during the day. Beyond worrying that I might have a nightmare and sleepwalk around the infirmary, terrifying the patients, every day that passed without searching for the Gate of Light brought me closer to panic.
“Soon,” I said. “I want to check if we have enough linens for tomorrow.”
She managed a tired smile. “Good night.”
An hour later, I was folding clean rags and placing them in a neat pile when the squeak of the door opening brought me sharply alert.
I relaxed as I recognized Arcus’s silhouette even before he entered the glow of firelight. “It must be past midnight. Shouldn’t you be asleep?”
“I was on my way to bed when I decided to check if you were still here. I’m glad I did.” Without another word, he took the folded linens from my hands, put them aside, and swept me into his arms.
I bit off a yelp of surprise, and my hands came automatically around his neck. “What are you doing?”
“Stealing you.”
“Stop, thief,” I whispered.
His teeth flashed white in the dark. “Just retrieving what’s mine.”
A pleasant shiver passed through me. My body didn’t seem to mind his assessment of ownership. His strong arms holding me so securely calmed my thoughts.
Still, I couldn’t let that claim go. “Yours?”
“No?” He lifted me and placed a hard kiss on my mouth.
My skin heated at the possession in that kiss, however much I might object in principle. I leaned up and initiated one of my own, letting my lips linger against his. “Unless you also belong to me.”
He was breathless when I pulled away, and I didn’t think it was from taking the stairs two at a time. “I gladly agree to your terms.”
“My room is downstairs,” I pointed out.
“But mine isn’t.”
He pushed open a door at the end of a long hallway. The room was small and spartan with only a dresser, washstand, and trunk. It was clearly meant for a servant.
“You didn’t take the lord’s chamber?”
“Two whole families can fit in there. This is enough for me.”
He set me on the bed before unbuckling his sword belt and setting it on the floor within reach. Then he removed his leather vest. I had already undressed down to my chemise and was under the covers by the time he joined me.
“You’re still dressed,” I pointed out.
“I’m so tired, I could sleep in full armor. Come here.” He turned on his side and reached an arm around my waist to haul me to him, my back to his front. I rested my arm alongside his. My heat soon enveloped both of us, creating a snug cocoon under the quilt. He sighed and kissed the top of my head. Contentment washed over me. Maybe I could actually sleep.
“Why did you bring me here?” I asked. “Not that I’m complaining.”
“Because I missed you,” he said, his voice a sleepy rumble. “And I thought you might be missing me.”
“I was.”
I wriggled under his arm until I was facing him. I wanted to see him. The corners of his lips curved up slightly as I rested a hand on his shoulder, but his eyes didn’t open. His breathing deepened. The tension in his face eased, making him look both younger and more vulnerable. A protective urge came over me—almost like it had as I held baby Gyda—to stand between him and any harm that could come to him.
It was ironic that I carried the greatest danger in my heart.
“When do we go to Forsia?” I asked, hearing the desperate edge in my voice. The sands in the hourglass were falling. We’d lost time by staying to help the people in Tevros. For all we knew, Eurus could be at the Gate by now.
Arcus’s eyes opened, bleary and unfocused. “I meant to tell you I received a message from Brother Thistle. He’s at the abbey.”
“Why there?” Last we’d heard, he was still in the capital.
He yawned, his words slurring. “We’ll find out when we get there. Can’t leave yet, though. A request for aid came from Collthorpe to the east. Blue Legion trying to take control. Need to show up with a strong force, show them I’m back. It’ll only take a couple of days.”
Frustration shot through me. “I need to give Brother Thistle The Creation of the Thrones.” The sooner he studied the book, the sooner we could find the Gate.
Arcus didn’t answer. His breathing had slowed into the gentle cadence of slumber.
I lay there beside him, fighting sleep, afraid of my dreams.
Free! The ground rushed by below, the sparkling snow untainted as I passed. I cast no shadow.
I was the shadow.
A black beach yielded to an ice-choked sea, miles upon miles. Then gray shores, jagged cliffs, snowy mountains, snowy plains.
Cold didn’t touch us.
Nothing could.
We traveled as a flock of moving smoke fanned out across the sky. Thousands of us. Hungry.
Recognition came with stinging force. We felt them, the objects of our wanting:
Mortals.
The pull of their minds, the euphoria of their dark emotions. Fear, hatred, despair, delicious grief.
Irresistible, calling us with the scent of their blood, the pulse of their hearts.
We swooped and dove.
Silent as the gloaming hush, we drizzled through fragile skin, filling the vessels with the ink of our presence.
I chose my host with care, drawn by the flutter of strong emotion in her steady heart. The female mortal held her young in her arms. I smelled the blood of birth and knew her mind would be ripe for twisting. Corruption was my gift.
She would fight me with everything in her, protecting her young to the last tattered shreds of her will.
Then, exhausted, she would surrender. I would guide her hand as it held the blade.
And she would hold her offspring in her arms and howl with grief.
Elation.
And when I broke her, I’d move on to another, and another…
I woke screaming. Eurus’s laughter echoed in my ears once again.
“No!” I clawed at the quilt, shoved it off. The soles of my feet met the cold floor with a slap. My breath seized as images repeated in my mind.
Anda. The knife. Her baby, Gyda. Blood.
No no no.
I couldn’t breathe.
“Ruby, what’s wrong?” Arcus was already holding his glinting sword as he stood next to me, searching the shadows for a threat.
“I heard him laugh.” I lit a fire in my palm, half expecting to see Eurus’s green eyes glowing from a shadowed corner, his teeth shining as he laughed.
“Who?”
The room was empty.
“No,” I gasped, crawling back into bed. “No, it was just a dream.” Cold sweat on my torso made me shiver. I pulled the quilt back on. “A nightmare.”
He returned his sword to the bedside, then slid back under the quilt. When he put his hands on my shoulders, I turned toward him, burrowing into his chest.
“I’ve never heard you scream like that.” A shudder ran through him. “You scared me half to death.”
“It was terrible.” I shook with remembered horror. “I can’t stop seeing it.”
“Tell me.”
I opened my mouth, then closed it and shook my head. I wasn’t ready to talk about it.
I had seen the world through the eyes of a Minax and felt its elation at finally being free. If it had been a vision showing things as they happened, then the Gate might already be open, the creatures already freed, and they were even now spreading across the land like an unstop
pable contagion. And there would be nothing we could do.
As I continued to shake, Arcus rubbed his hands up and down my arms and smoothed my hair back from my face. His cool lips pressed against my forehead as his arms closed tight around me. “You’re safe now.”
Though his touch was comforting, I wasn’t so sure. I concentrated on the creature in my heart, not blocking it out as I usually tried to do but connecting with its mood as much as I could. I needed to know if what I’d seen in my dream was real. If the Gate had opened, it would sense the ripples from that momentous event, I was sure of it. Relief came over me as I sensed no change. No gloating, no excitement. Nothing but a flicker of its usual hunger for strong emotion. In fact, it was relatively quiet, merely agitated into mild excitement by my fear. I had no reason to believe our quest was already lost.
I took several deep breaths until my heart calmed. I would check on Anda and Gyda first thing in the morning, just to assure myself they were well.
“Better?” Arcus asked, moving back a few inches to study me. We faced each other, our heads sharing a pillow.
I nodded, though the nightmare had left me deeply unsettled. Even if it wasn’t a premonition or vision of the present, it still felt like a threat. A warning.
I couldn’t wait any longer.
“I have to leave for the abbey tomorrow.”
Arcus paused before answering, his irises turned silver by moonlight. “I thought we agreed to leave in a few days.”
I moved my hands to grip his upper arms. “I need to get the book to Brother Thistle. If you had seen what I’d seen in my nightmare…”
“Not even a day or two? I have to deal with the situation in Collthorpe.”
“You can meet us at the abbey when you’re done there.”
His arms tensed under my hands. “I don’t want to be parted. I’ll go with you.”
I didn’t want to be parted, either, but I hardened myself against his resistance. “You said you wanted your people to know you’ve returned. This is a good opportunity to show them, and also show the Blue Legion that you won’t tolerate what they’re doing.”
“Yes.” He pulled me closer, his breath cold against my neck as he buried his face in my hair. “But I have to choose what’s more important. This is not the time to go haring off in two different directions. Anything could happen—”
I moved back. “Are you worried for yourself or for me?”
He went silent for a minute, then sighed. “You. And before you tear my head off, it’s not that I think you can’t handle yourself. In fact, I worry you can handle yourself too well. With Brother Lack—”
“He brought out the worst in me. Don’t think just because I almost lost control with him that I would in any situation. I promise I won’t succumb to the Minax on the way to the abbey.” I couldn’t bear the thought that he saw me as so wild that I needed tending, like an overgrown bonfire just waiting to escape its bounds.
Finally, he exhaled and said, “If you’re determined not to wait, I’ll send a dozen soldiers with you.”
My temper fired unexpectedly, the Minax stoking the flames. I pushed it back, furious that it was rising up to make everything worse. And yet, I couldn’t stop the anger. “I don’t need protection. Or are they to act as keepers in your place?”
Steel entered his tone. “They’re going with you, even if they have to follow at your heels dodging your fire all the way.”
Though logically I knew his motives were protective, I hated the suspicion that he also didn’t trust me. Even as I didn’t trust myself. “I don’t want them at the abbey! Brother Thistle will be beside himself with soldiers stomping around the place. I’ll take Kai if it would make you feel better, but that’s it.”
“The soldiers can take you as far as Blackcreek and remain at the garrison there.” He reached out to me hesitantly, his cool fingers encircling my wrist where my pulse thudded a rapid beat, exerting gentle pressure until it slowed.
My mind seemed to calm, too. I’d run out of arguments, at least reasonable ones. “Fine,” I said grudgingly, “but only to placate you.”
“Thank you.” He relaxed, seeming relieved. “Do you think you can get back to sleep?” Now that he’d secured my cooperation, he sounded tired again. His voice was raspy as he struggled to stay awake.
“Yes,” I lied. “If you sleep, I think I can, too.”
“All right,” he said, uncertain. “But wake me if you have another nightmare.”
“I will,” I lied, again.
SIX
FORWIND ABBEY HUDDLED ITS GRAY bulk on a flat sweep of land on Mount Una. As Kai and I crested the final stretch of road, the dark rectangle of the tower loomed against the sky. Its smooth sides gazed pensively in each direction as a tribute to all four wind gods. The tower was far older than the rest of the crumbling abbey, and yet its stones were still solid and tightly fitted.
I inhaled a deep lungful of cold, pine-tinged air. The crisp scent reminded me of the village where I’d grown up, a short ride north. Less than a year had passed since I’d first come to the abbey, but in some ways, it felt like a lifetime ago.
It was just past noon, when the monks would all be inside at prayers. Yet one errant monk bustled from the side door of the abbey, his face wreathed in smiles.
Securing my satchel over my shoulder, I dismounted and ran to him, only remembering to slow my pace when the sight of his bent back reminded me that he wasn’t strong enough for me to fling myself into his arms.
Instead, I embraced him carefully, registering the delicate, birdlike bones of his shoulders while the filaments of his fine white hair tickled my cheek like feathers. The scent of lavender, mint, and mugwort filled my nose, bringing swift memories of being cared for in his infirmary when I’d come here as a fugitive—angry and frightened and full of grief and rage after my mother’s death and my subsequent imprisonment. He had healed more than my wounds, his gentle presence a balm to my mind.
By the time I stepped back, I was blinking away happy tears.
“So, my young Ruby, you have finally returned,” Brother Gamut said, his smile as broad and welcoming as I remembered.
I smiled back. “And, Brother Gamut, you’re still here.”
“It seems so,” he said, looking down at himself as if he might disappear at any moment. “Did you expect me to pass on to the afterworld in your absence?”
“Sud forbid. But I thought you might get restless without me and set off on an ocean voyage to lands unknown.”
He chuckled. “I’ll leave that to you. I hear you have done that very thing.” One blue-veined hand reached out to pat my arm. “I am glad you are back safely.”
“It’s good to be—” I almost said home. “Back.”
I turned and motioned to Kai, who had dismounted and was leading his horse behind me. “This is Prince Kai from Queen Nalani’s Fire Court of Sudesia. Kai, this is Brother Gamut. He taught me everything I know about herbs and healing.”
Brother Gamut acknowledged the introduction with a bow.
Kai inclined his head respectfully. “You have my sympathy. I know what it’s like to have Ruby as a pupil.”
I made a disgruntled sound and turned away, leading my horse toward the stable.
“Her temper can be quite remarkable,” said Brother Gamut from behind me. “But she is a good child.”
“If you say so,” Kai replied, earning a narrow-eyed glare over my shoulder.
After leaving our horses with Sister Clove in the stable, we entered the dim interior of the abbey. Brother Gamut told us that we would sleep in the guesthouses, as the abbey had an outbreak of fever. He assured us they were keeping the illness contained but asked that we keep away from the infirmary.
With an apology that he must return to his duties, he directed us down the pillar-lined corridor to the locutory, a modest room filled with threadbare chairs, worn rugs, and faded wall hangings depicting the gods.
The last time I’d been in the abbey, the locutory
had been falling apart. Over the past few months, Arcus’s donations had provided coin for repairs, and I saw many signs of improvement: straight new beams, freshly mortared stones, and tightly sealed windows where once the wind had whistled through.
Brother Thistle sat in a chair under the narrow window, a book in his lap. His white beard was trimmed close around his face, taking a few years off his appearance from the last time I’d seen him.
As I moved forward, his face creased into a broad smile. He set down his book, grabbed the cane leaning against the chair, and rose.
“It’s so good to see you,” I said, tears forming in my eyes again as I embraced him. I hadn’t seen him since before I left for Sudesia, and so much had happened since then. I’d found out about my heritage, taken the Fireblood trials, and become host to the Minax, none of which he knew. “I missed you.”
“And I you, Miss Otrera,” he said affectionately. As we broke apart, he gave my shoulder a final pat and looked me over, his expression a mix of critical and concerned. I suddenly became self-conscious, beset by self-doubt. Could he, with that discerning gaze, perceive that I had become much more dangerous?
Brother Thistle had spent his adult life trying to find a way to destroy Eurus’s curse on the thrones of Sudesia and Tempesia—which turned out to be the two Minax he’d hidden inside each. But when the thrones were destroyed, the Minax were released. In some ways, I had become Eurus’s curse. The thrones were gone, and I was the fire Minax’s vessel, a walking calamity that was one loss of control away from erupting into chaos and destruction. And here I was in a place of worship and contemplation. It gave me an odd feeling, a sense of displacement I hadn’t felt since first coming to the abbey. As if I didn’t belong here.
I couldn’t seem to draw breath while I watched him examine me, his head tilting to the side in puzzlement. “Is something wrong, Miss Otrera?”
Or maybe it was merely my own fears showing on my face. I shook my head and forced a smile, stepping aside so that Kai could come forward.