by Andria Large
“See, this is the kind of shit that annoys me the most about not rememberin’ anything. It’s so simple. How do I not know this about myself?”
“It’s just the way your brain is functioning right now,” Bowen murmurs.
“It’s stupid,” he mutters as he cuts a piece of steak and shoves it into his mouth.
The look of ecstasy that comes over his face has Bowen’s jeans suddenly feeling tighter in the crotch area. The memories of them together flash through his brain. That look on his face while his cock is buried deep in his—Bowen! Jesus, get ahold of yourself! Now is not the time to reminisce.
“Oh, my God. This is fantastic!” Gunnar moans around the steak in his mouth.
Griffin grins. “Glad you like it.”
Gunnar looks over at Bowen. “I don’t know how you don’t like this. It’s delicious.”
Bowen swallows hard and gives him a small shrug. Gunnar’s gaze on him darkens and he knows he can see the desire in his eyes. Shit. The right side of Gunnar’s mouth lifts into an arrogant grin. He knows. He knows Bowen’s completely turned on right now because of him and he thinks it’s funny. Bastard.
They get through dinner without incident and Bowen is pretty sure Griffin didn’t notice the little eye-fucking session at the beginning, so that’s good. He helps Griffin clean up before saying his goodbyes and getting the hell out of there.
Chapter Seven
GUNNAR DOESN'T see Bowen all weekend. Saturday turned out to be a mostly boring day. Eva came and spent the day with him. It was nice; she’s a really great girl. Then Sunday, Griffin was off, so he spent the day with Gunnar. It was a good day. They talked a lot. He told Gunnar lots of stories from their past. Gunnar had a few bouts of Deja vu, but that’s about it. He guesses that’s something though.
It’s now Monday, which means Bowen’s coming to sit with him while Griffin and Eva are working. He also has physical therapy again today. He’s going to be going three times a week now, so Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Gunnar’s glad he had the weekend off after the first session because that was really rough and he needed the recovery time.
Bowen comes walking in the front door a few minutes before nine. Gunnar’s heart leaps in excitement. He’s sitting on the couch, which puts his back to the front door, so he twists around and rests his arm on the back of the couch. He watches the handsome bastard walk toward him. Man, he’s delicious. Today he’s wearing a white button-down shirt tucked into light gray fitted slacks. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows and the top couple buttons are open. He has on a black belt and nice black leather shoes. He topped off the entire look with his styled hair and glasses - Goddamn!
“You are the sexiest nerd I’ve ever seen.” Gunnar grins rakishly at Bowen.
You would have thought a record player screeched to a halt. Griffin starts choking in the kitchen and Bowen stops dead in his tracks, his eyes wide as he looks in Griffin’s direction. Gunnar looks over at Griffin too, and finds him leaning over the sink, a hand over his mouth as he continues to cough. He must have been drinking coffee or something.
“You okay in there?” Gunnar calls, his smile fading.
He gets himself under control then comes to stand at the end of the island counter, a look of complete and utter confusion on his bearded face. “Did you just call my brother sexy?” he questions.
“Yeeessss?” Gunnar drawls hesitantly, his eyes flicking to Bowen’s before turning back to Griffin. Why does it sound like that’s an issue?
Griffin takes a step toward Gunnar, his dark eyes boring into his. “Why would you say that?” he asks as if he can’t quite understand what is going on.
Gunnar cocks an eyebrow at him. “Um, I know you don’t see it because he’s your brother, but hello? I mean, look at him,” he says, motioning to Bowen with his hand as if it’s obvious that he’s a good looking guy.
Griffin blinks stupidly at him. He then glances at Bowen, who is still frozen in the same spot, his wide eyes darting between the two of them. What the hell is the problem here?
Griffin presses his fingers to his temples and closes his eyes. “Are you…are you gay, Gunnar?”
What the fuck kind of question is that? “Am I not supposed to be?” Gunnar replies in confusion.
Griffin’s eyes fly open and nail Gunnar with a hard look. “Don’t fuckin’ play games with me right now, Gunnar! For real, man. Are you gay?”
Gunnar opens and closes his mouth a few times. He doesn’t understand why he’s so angry. “I don’t know. I mean, I’m just feelin’ what my mind and body are tellin’ me. I wanna say that I don’t really have a preference, like if someone’s attractive, then they’re attractive.”
Hurt and betrayal flash in Griffin’s eyes. “I can’t believe you never told me! How could you not tell me this?!”
Gunnar frowns. “Gee, I don’t know, Griffin, maybe it’s because I DON’T REMEMBER ANYTHING! I have no idea why I didn’t tell you and I didn’t know that it wasn’t somethin’ that was known between us!” he snaps.
Griffin looks completely lost. What sucks the most is that Gunnar doesn’t have an explanation for him. He can’t tell him why he had apparently kept that a secret from him because he honestly doesn’t remember. He had no idea that he didn’t know.
“You have always been with just women, for as long as I’ve known you,” Griffin says, shaking his head in disbelief.
“I don’t know what to tell you, Griffin.” Gunnar sighs. “There must’ve been a good reason why I was hidin’ it from you.”
Eyebrows cranked down, he turns to his brother. “Did you know, Bowen?"
“Uhh...yeah."
Griffin shoves his hands into his hair. “I…I don’t even know what to do with this right now…I gotta go,” he mutters and races for the front door.
He slams it closed behind him, making both Gunnar and Bowen jump. Gunnar looks to Bowen. “What just happened?” he asks him in disbelief.
Bowen rolls his lips in and shakes his head sadly, apparently not having an answer for him. Readjusting his hat, Gunnar sighs again. This sucks. A secret that he didn’t even know he was keeping has just been exposed and he doesn’t know what to do about it. He has no explanations for Griffin. He has no clue as to why he kept something like that from someone who was his best friend, someone who supposedly knew everything about him.
“Did you know that he thought I was straight?” Gunnar asks Bowen.
He nods. “Yeah."
“What?! Why didn’t you tell me?!” he squawks.
“I didn’t know you were gonna call me sexy right in front of him!”
“Dammit, Bowen!”
“Hey! Don’t blame this on me!”
Gunnar makes an aggravated noise and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Shit. I’m not. I’m sorry. What am I supposed to do about Griffin?”
“Give him time to cool down. You know he’s okay with you…not being totally straight. He’s just upset that you kept it a secret from him.”
“But I didn’t know!”
“I know that, Gunnar. It’ll be fine, trust me. Then whenever you get your memory back, you can give Griffin an explanation.”
“I’m startin’ to feel like it’s never gonna come back,” he mutters, rubbing the side of his face.
Bowen frowns and comes to sit on the coffee table in front of Gunnar. He leans forward, propping his forearms on his knees. “It’ll come back, Gunnar. It’s just gonna take some time,” he assures softly. “You’ve only been out of the coma, what? One month? The doctor said it could take months for it to come back.”
Gunnar sighs heavily. “I know. It’s just really frustratin’.”
“Understandably so.” He agrees with a nod.
“All right, whatever. We better get goin’,” Gunnar mutters.
“Okay,” he agrees.
He stands and holds out his hand. Gunnar debates on either slapping it away or taking it. He decides on the latter, only because he wants to touch him, not because he needs
the help. Taking Bowen’s hand, Gunnar lets Bowen pull him to his feet, which in turn puts him practically against the other man. They are pretty much nose to nose and close enough that Gunnar can feel Bowen's breath on his lips. He hears the catch in his breathing, which sends a jolt of longing through his body. I feel like we've been here before, why?
Gunnar would love to devour those plump lips of his, but would Griffin approve of him hooking up with his brother? After what just happened, he doesn’t know.
Giving Bowen’s hand a firm squeeze, he does what he feels is right and moves away, their fingers lingering until they can’t reach anymore. “We better go,” he rasps.
Bowen’s eyes follow Gunnar as he takes a few steps away from him. If he doesn't put distance between them, he’s going to jump Bowen’s bones, and they’ll never make it to physical therapy. The raw physical attraction between them is undeniable, but Gunnar feels like there is more to it than that. Something deeper. He first felt it when Bowen helped him in the shower. It was in the tenderness of his touch when he was washing Gunnar’s hair and back, the understanding he had when speaking to him, and the overall kindness he provided during the entire ordeal. He wonders if Bowen feels it too.
Turning his back to Bowen, he walks toward the door. Bowen follows him out to the car, where they both get in. The drive over to the physical therapy center is silent but the sexual tension is still humming between them and soon fills the small interior of the car. By the time they get there, Gunnar’s feeling restless and irritable. He can’t wait to go in and burn off this build up of energy.
***
“Just let me help you from the start this time, Gunnar,” Bowen huffs as he follows Gunnar to the bathroom. They’ve been arguing since they walked in the door about Bowen wanting to help him shower. “I don’t want you fallin’ again.”
“I don’t need help,” Gunnar grunts as he shuffles down the hallway, his legs throbbing from the exercises he had to do at PT.
“Yes, you do. Stop being so damn stubborn,” he snaps, obviously getting frustrated.
Gunnar stops at the doorway to the bathroom and leans a hand on the doorframe. He props the other hand on his hip and turns his head just enough for Bowen to get his profile, since he’s somewhat behind him.
“If you come in that shower with me, I can’t guarantee I won’t touch you,” Gunnar replies huskily, already feeling his cock swell at the thought of Bowen joining him in the shower.
“I’ll keep my underwear on.”
“Like that’ll stop me?” he scoffs incredulously.
“I don’t want you to get hurt. I can tell you’re fatigued,” Bowen replies.
He’s not going to give up, so Gunnar just shrugs and grumbles a “whatever.” In the bathroom with the door shut, they both get undressed. Bowen keeps on his black briefs then turns on the shower. Gunnar does his best not to ogle him, but it’s pretty much impossible. The guy is built like a fucking Greek God. Long and lean with sinewy muscle covered in lightly tanned skin. His ass is round and firm, the kind you can bounce a quarter off of. He’s got a light dusting of golden hair on his chest and lower abs that disappear into the waistband of his briefs. Yeah, there’s no stopping the full on hard-on that he's sporting.
Bowen turns back toward Gunnar and of course that’s the first thing he sees. When his eyes lift to meet Gunnar's, he gives him a bored look. “Really?”
“What? I warned you. I don’t know why you’re surprised.”
“It’s called control, Gunnar.”
Gunnar chuckles. “You’re funny, Bowen. I like you.” He teases.
Gunnar catches a small smile lift Bowen’s lips for all of a second before he takes his glasses off and folds them, placing them on the counter next to the sink. Is it possible for him to be a whole different type of gorgeous without his glasses? Bowen rocks those glasses, but without them, he takes Gunnar’s breath away. He’s never noticed the long dark lashes framing his warm caramel-colored eyes before.
He steps into the shower and holds out his hand for Gunnar. “Come on.”
Bowen’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts and he grips his forearm so Bowen can help him into the shower. Bowen positions him under the hot spray of water while he reaches for the soap. He straightens up and holds out the bar to Gunnar, his now wet hair hanging down over his forehead. Gunnar lets his eyes travel down over his gorgeous physique, getting stuck at that sexy ass V that starts at his hips and leads down into the top of his briefs. The briefs that are now soaked and clinging to his impressive package.
“Fuck this,” Gunnar growls, dropping the soap.
He grabs Bowen’s face and crushes their lips together. Bowen hesitates for all of a millisecond then something seems to snap and he’s taking over, backing Gunnar against the shower wall as he ravages his mouth. Bowen presses his body firmly against Gunnar’s, who moans into Bowen’s mouth as his tongue swirls around Gunnar’s.
Gunnar slips his arms around Bowen’s waist and lets his hands slither down to his ass, where he firmly grips both cheeks and pulls him closer, so Gunnar can rub his aching cock against Bowen’s. It’s Bowen's turn to moan, and he fucking loves the sound.
Wedging one hand between them, Gunnar cups him through his wet underwear and gives his cock a squeeze. Bowen gasps into Gunnar’s mouth and he almost shoots his load right there. Suddenly, Bowen tears himself away, backing up until he’s at the far end of the shower. His chest is heaving and his heavy lidded eyes boring into Gunnar’s.
“We can’t do this,” he breathes.
“Why the fuck not?” Gunnar frowns.
“You’re too weak right now.”
The words are like a slap to the face and a punch in the gut. He seems to realize what he said because he holds his hands up as if to tell Gunnar to ‘hang on.’
“That is not how I meant that to come out,” he says firmly, as if that’s supposed to change the fact that he just called Gunnar weak.
Anger flashes through Gunnar, making his skin feel hot. “Get. The. Fuck. Out.” His voice low and flat, his words clipped.
“Gunnar…” He tries.
“Get the fuck out!” Gunnar bellows, his voice echoing off the walls in the small room.
Bowen’s jaw bulges and Gunnar can tell he doesn’t want to leave, but Gunnar honestly doesn’t even want to look at him right now.
“I swear to God, Bowen. Get the fuck out before I punch you in your goddamn face,” he barks, pointing at him.
Bowen bites out a low curse and steps out of the shower. Gunnar hears him yank a towel off the rack before storming out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Why does it feel like Bowen just stabbed him in the heart? The one person who he thought wasn’t looking at him with pity is actually no different than everyone else. Well, fuck him. Gunnar’s not fucking weak. I can take care of myself, fuck you very much.
Gunnar bends and picks up the soap. He finishes taking his shower alone. Something he is more than capable of doing. After shutting the water off, he dries himself, and steps out of the shower. Wrapping the towel around his waist, he gathers up his clothes then makes his way down the hall to his bedroom and closes himself inside. Feeling both physically and mentally exhausted, he climbs under the covers of his bed and lies down.
Chapter Eight
GRIFFIN'S MIND has been reeling the entire day since finding out that Gunnar is gay…well, not actually gay. He’s not straight, let’s leave it at that. He doesn’t care what his sexual preferences are; his brother is gay for Christ’s sake. What he does care about it the fact that Gunnar didn’t trust him enough to tell him something like that. He also continuously hid it by hooking up with women when around him. Gunnar’s basically been lying to Griffin for their entire friendship. He can understand not telling him in the beginning, but once he knew Griffin, once they became like brothers, he should have told him. It makes Griffin wonder what else Gunnar’s been keeping from him or lying to him about. Not that he can even tell Griffin right now anyway bec
ause he still doesn’t remember anything.
Griffin walks in the front door to find Bowen sitting at the table typing away on his computer looking royally pissed off, and Gunnar is sitting on the couch watching TV. Gunnar’s back is to Griffin so he can’t see his face. The tension in the room is thick enough to cut with a knife. Griffin can’t even imagine what the hell happened that has them mad at each other. Ah, they're getting back to their old selves. It was only a matter of time before it happened. It’s one thing to be attracted to each other, but another thing entirely when your personalities are completely different.
“Hey,” Griffin says cautiously, almost afraid that saying something will ignite the tension.
Gunnar raises a hand without turning to look at him. Bowen on the other hand, lifts his gaze from his computer to glare at him. He doesn’t say anything as he closes his laptop and puts it in his bag. He pushes out of his chair and slings it over his shoulder.
“Oh, Bowen, before you go, can you get me a glass of iced tea? I’m just too weak to do it myself,” Gunnar says.
He completely overacts as he reaches toward the kitchen and makes little pathetic grunts as if he’s actually too weak to get up and get a drink himself. Griffin cocks an eyebrow. What the hell is that about?
“Stop it, Gunnar,” Bowen snaps.
Oh yeah, something definitely happened between them. Some kind of argument or something had to have gone down for them to be this angry at each other.
“Are you really gonna make me get up and get my own drink in my weakened state, Bowen?” Gunnar admonishes and Griffin can hear the underlying bitterness in his tone.
Bowen rolls his eyes. "Seriously, knock it off. I told you I didn’t mean it like that. Stop being childish.”
“Childish?!” Gunnar squawks. “Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?”
Griffin’s eyebrows shoot up as Gunnar slaps the arm of the couch with his hand. Whoa.
“Gunnar,” Bowen warns.
“What’s goin’ on? Why are you two arguin’?” Griffin asks, hoping to maybe calm the situation a little bit.