‘Did you leave the table at all?’
‘I went to smoke outside when you were in the washroom.’
‘You smoke now?’
Ekansh nodded. ‘But what happened?’
Rivanah shook her head keeping the tissue with her while giving another one to Ekansh. He wiped his tears off and said, ‘I know why I’m going through all this.’
‘Why?’
‘People who ditch true love once don’t deserve to get true love again.’
Rivanah could sense a confession in Ekansh’s words but didn’t know what to say. The confession gave her as much pleasure as it pulled her emotionally towards Ekansh.
‘I need you, Rivanah,’ Ekansh said out loud. She wasn’t ready for this. Even though she had suspected he may say it, she hadn’t expected him to do so right then. What did he mean anyway by ‘I need you’?
‘Don’t worry; I won’t force this friendship on you. It will only happen if you want it too. None of my friends know about Tista’s condition except you. I don’t feel like sharing it with them. I am too tired to unwrap myself in front of them. With you it is easier, you know me well already. I want you as my friend, Rivanah. Someone on whose shoulder I can cry. Someone with whom I can share my wounds. Someone with whom I can be emotionally naked.’
And what if our emotionally naked selves ask us questions we can’t handle? The kind of questions which slowly deconstruct us and in the quest of finding answers to them we get constructed into someone we never thought we could be. The only question, at that instant, however, was this: was she ready for such a deconstruction?
Rivanah let go of a deep breath. She was about to speak up when she felt someone’s presence by their table.
‘Hey!’
Both Rivanah and Ekansh looked up. It was Danny. Rivanah’s throat instantly went bone dry. Had Argho told Danny the truth?
24
‘Danny?’ Rivanah exclaimed and immediately knew she shouldn’t have made her surprise so overt.
‘As if you didn’t know I was coming here. You texted me!’ he said. He side-hugged her, planted a kiss on her forehead and sat down between her and Ekansh.
You texted me . . . Rivanah knew who this ‘you’ was. Argho was back to his sadistic best.
The next moment was the most awkward of Rivanah’s life. She had her ex and her present boyfriend staring at each other for possible introductions.
‘Danny, this is Ekansh. Ekansh, this is Danny,’ she said. The men shook hands wishing the introduction was longer than that for them to know who exactly they were.
‘Wait a minute,’ Danny said and seemed thoughtful. ‘Aren’t you the guy from the washroom?’
‘Which washroom?’ Rivanah quipped.
‘The multiplex washroom.’ This time it was Ekansh.
‘Yes!’ Danny was happy that he was right.
‘Ekansh is a good friend from college,’ Rivanah told Danny and to Ekansh she finally turned and said, ‘Danny is my boyfriend.’ From the corner of her eye Rivanah saw Ekansh withdraw into himself on his seat. She had told him she was single. The silence that followed had a probing energy to it which made Rivanah uneasy like never before.
‘So, why did you want to meet so urgently?’ Danny asked Rivanah.
‘Though of watching a movie,’ Rivanah blurted.
‘Christ! I thought it was something more serious. Anyway, am free. So we can go.’
‘Yeah. Let’s go,’ Rivanah said and stood up.
‘It was nice meeting you, Ekansh.’ Danny said and, putting his arm around Rivanah’s waist, was ready to leave.
‘See you,’ she told Ekansh. He only nodded with a tight smile. And watched her walk away with Danny.
In the next minute Rivanah was in the car with Danny. He was driving towards the nearest multiplex.
‘Tell me something,’ Danny said. ‘Wasn’t your ex’s name Ekansh too?’
‘Yes,’ Rivanah said and hoped he would ask all the important questions she was running away from and all she would have to do was say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and that would be the end of the story.
‘Is this the same Ekansh?’
‘Yes.’
‘Were you looking for him in the gents’ washroom that day?’
‘No!’ She glanced at him once.
‘And today too you met him coincidentally?’
Rivanah didn’t like his interrogating tone but she couldn’t do much realizing that, somewhere, she deserved that tone.
‘Pretty much,’ she said. Danny didn’t ask anything further. Rivanah zoned out during the whole movie, conscious at times of Danny laughing out. She did text Argho on all his numbers saying that she wanted to talk. She didn’t care if it was Argho or not. She wanted a sounding board. But there was no response. After the movie Danny dropped her at her flat.
She skipped dinner and was busy sketching when she got a call from a private number. She put on her earphones and took the call.
‘Hi.’
‘Hello, Mini.’
For once she was tempted to say, ‘Argho, please cut the crap and tell me it’s you, because I now know it is you.’ But she didn’t say anything lest it disturbed her connection with him which, at that point of time, she was more in need of.
‘I know you want me to tell Danny the truth and even I want to. But before I do that, I have a question for you.’ Rivanah was furiously sketching as she talked over the phone.
‘What’s the question?’
‘Why can’t I love both of them?’
‘You can but you will have to live with one of them,’ promptly came the response.
‘Who made that diktat?’
‘People who tried to do what you now desire and failed miserably.’
‘Is revelling in the attention you get from more than one person a sin? When Ekansh and Danny both had their eyes on me I felt powerful in a way I have never felt before.’
‘Attention is an aphrodisiac, Mini. The more you get it, the more important you’ll feel. The more important you’ll feel, the less you’ll know yourself.’
‘But will I be very wrong if I claim such attention from both?’
‘All of us define right and wrong in relation to the other. If this is right then that is wrong. That way nothing is wrong, nothing is right.’
‘Then why do you want me to tell Danny the truth if nothing is wrong or right?’
‘Some people can only be your horizon, Mini. You may crave them, you may burn, you may die but you will never get to them. But also understand this: when someone is your ever-eluding horizon, the sun of your emotions shall always rise and set in their lap. If that can’t give you peace, nothing in love will.’ The stranger spoke slowly, giving Rivanah the time for the words to register along with its subtext.
‘You mean Ekansh is my horizon?’
‘I mean either Ekansh or Danny will eventually be your horizon. You’ll have to learn to live with it.’
‘But before I know who that horizon is, why can’t I have the attention of both guys? How do I know Danny has told me everything?’
Rivanah by then had finished sketching. It was a pair of eyes that she had sketched. She went towards the open window in the room and inhaled some fresh air. The phone call was still on.
‘You can either give yourself excuses, Mini, or you can tell the truth,’ the stranger said.
‘I don’t want to tell Danny the truth. Not right now.’
‘Your yes or no will have consequences, Mini.’
‘Why do I have to listen to you all the time? I have asked you a million times who Hiya Chowdhury is but you never tell me. I told you to meet me but you won’t. But I have to do whatever you want me to. Sorry, but that’s not possible,’ Rivanah blurted impulsively. Why couldn’t the stranger tell her that what she had in mind was perfectly all right? She heard the line go dead. For once she didn’t care if the stranger was angry. She, after all, had the right to live her life the way she wanted. The rest of the night she continued to sket
ch without feeling sleepy.
Next day in office she kept wondering what was wrong in revelling in the attention she got from two people. It wasn’t that she was interested in Ekansh sexually. The kitchen incident was a slip. Period. It wouldn’t happen again, Rivanah told herself with confidence. Ekansh needed her as a friend. Danny needed her as a girlfriend. Why couldn’t she fulfil both the roles without merging them? And then it struck her: Danny was perhaps doing exactly the same with Nitya when she had come to stay at their place. It had made Rivanah leave the flat. There was a greater truth that she had to accept before she told Danny about the little truth that happened in the kitchen with Ekansh. The greater truth was: she needed both the men in her life. Roles didn’t matter, their presence did.
In the evening she received an email on her personal account. It was an invite for the convocation cum alumni meet of her college that was supposed to happen the following weekend. Could it be another of the stranger’s games? She called Ekansh.
‘Hey, did you get an invite for the convocation and alumni meet from our college?’ she asked.
‘Yes, I did. Few weeks back. It is next week.’
Rivanah was relieved to know it was a genuine invite.
‘Oh, I got it today only. Are you going?’
‘I’d anyway have to. I had applied for leave before. Tista is getting operated the next day.’
‘Oh.’ Rivanah took a moment to think and then said, ‘When is your ticket? And which flight?’
‘It is on the Friday night. Indigo flight.’
‘Message me the details. I shall book tickets on the same flight if available.’
‘Give me a moment.’ Ekansh said. As Rivanah waited she thought her motivation to go to Kolkata wasn’t the convocation or the alumni meet. She wanted to meet Tista once for sure before the operation but she also wanted to see if someone from Hiya’s home was present at the convocation or not.
25
Danny dropped Rivanah at the airport the following Friday evening. He didn’t ask if Ekansh was also attending the convocation; she didn’t tell him either. She kissed Danny goodbye and entered the airport. She met Ekansh at the gate. Soon they collected their boarding passes, passed the security and boarded the flight.
‘I want to thank you, Rivanah, for being there,’ Ekansh said once they had taken their seats. He tried to grasp her hand. But she was alert. Anything that could lead to a probable slip turned her off. She withdrew her hand and said, ‘I think we are meant to be in each other’s lives always. If not as lovers, then at least as friends.’
The last part was deliberate. She wanted to underline the fact for Ekansh.
‘Let’s not go to the convocation together,’ Rivanah said, looking out of the window.
‘As in?’
‘As in,’ she looked at him, ‘let’s not enter together. Let’s not behave like friends in front of everyone.’
Ekansh thought for a moment and then nodded, saying, ‘All right.’ He understood it would call for unnecessary questions that even he didn’t want to answer.
Once in Kolkata they took separate cabs for their respective homes. She called her mother and told her she would be at home in some time. While she was talking she had received a message on phone. She read it after she was done talking to her mother.
Time’s up, Mini. Now be ready.
Her throat dried completely as she read this. The last time the stranger had messaged ‘Time’s up’, he had exposed Ekansh’s infidelity. What now? Did she piss him off a little too much by not obliging him earlier? Was the stranger going to finally going to unveil Hiya’s link with her?
It was a new number from which the message had been sent. She checked the number on the Truecaller app but it didn’t show any record except that it was a Kolkata number. She had called it five times by the time she reached home but no luck. She didn’t have much option but to wait and watch.
Rivanah was relieved to be home at last and have mom-made food. Mumbai for her was a battlefield where there was no time to rest, to be oneself and, most important, to live life the way one wanted to. Her father impressed her by gifting her a sketch stand. She had only mentioned in passing that she had started to sketch again.
‘I haven’t given you anything from a long time,’ her father said. She hugged him, realizing how much she missed being pampered by her parents. It all seemed like a fairy tale now.
After the best dinner she had eaten in a long time, her mother joined her in her bedroom while she was sketching.
‘I told your father that Danny has been signed for a film. He seemed to welcome the idea.’
‘That’s good, Mumma, but I’m in no mood to get married now.’
‘Don’t tell me you and Danny have broken up!’ Her mother sounded scandalized.
Rivanah stopped sketching and looked at her lovingly. ‘No, Mumma. Nothing like that. We both are still getting to know each other.’
‘I think I will never understand this getting-to-know-each-other thing that you keep talking about. What is there to know so much?’
‘You won’t get it, Mumma.’
‘Yes, I won’t and I don’t want to. Thank God I am not your age now. So confusing you youngsters are. Now sleep early. Don’t stress yourself,’ her mother said and left her alone. Her phone beeped with a message. It was Ekansh.
I’m going to meet Tista tomorrow in the hospital. Would you like to join me?
Of course, she replied.
Next day Ekansh met her below the Ultadanga footbridge and together they drove to the hospital on EM Bypass. The visiting hours had just started when they reached. They arrived at Tista’s cabin only to find her family present there. On the bed was Tista, looking pale and weak. She tried to smile but it was clear she was very unwell. Ekansh greeted everyone and went to stand beside Tista. Rivanah introduced herself to Tista’s family and stood by her bed on the other side. Tista raised her hand on seeing Rivanah who grasped it warmly.
‘I can’t live alone in that Mumbai flat. I want you back soon,’ Rivanah said, trying to boost her morale.
‘I . . . too . . . want . . . that,’ Tista stuttered. Rivanah smiled at her, caressing her forehead, as Tista’s father asked her not to talk much.
‘You get well soon first, then we’ll talk as much as we want to over a cup of your magic tea.’ Rivanah said. Her phone beeped with a message. Rivanah excused herself as Ekansh started talking with Tista’s parents.
Rivanah read the message. It was from the same unknown number that she had received the message a day ago.
Food court, City Centre 2. In 30 minutes. Your only chance to know who I am.
A chill ran through Rivanah’s spine. Will Argho actually reveal his identity?
Rivanah spoke up, saying that she needed to go home because of some emergency. Ekansh glanced at her but she averted her eyes quickly and took her leave. Coming out of the hospital she took a cab to City Centre 2. She reached a few minutes late. She looked around trying to spot Argho when she got a message from the same number:
You are late, Mini. I don’t like that. I will see you in Mani Square now. Food court. In exactly 40 mins.
Rivanah was enraged reading this. She replied to the message: This better not be a game.
And rushed out. She took a cab and clocked herself this time. She reached Mani Square mall’s food court exactly ten minutes before time. She took a seat and waited for Argho to show up. She messaged on the number that she was there. The response which popped up infuriated Rivanah further:
You are early, Mini. I don’t like this. Meet me in South City, food court, in an hour.
If Argho doesn’t show up in South City mall this time, I will never ever talk to the stranger again, Rivanah promised herself and hailed a cab.
Ekansh called her in between, but she was too distracted to talk to him properly. She reached South City mall before time again but went inside only two minutes before the fixed time. This time she stepped on to the food court exactly on time.
Few seconds later she got a message: Look to your left.
Rivanah did but couldn’t spot Argho. Someone tapped on her shoulder from behind. Rivanah turned in a flash. It can’t be . . . she thought and said, ‘What the fuck are you doing here . . . Ishita?’ Rivanah’s eyes widened seeing her old roomie after ages now.
‘I’m sorry, Rivanah. I never told you this.’
‘Told me what?’ Rivanah thought she was almost losing her voice.
‘That I had a crush on you, Mini.’
All of the mall’s cacophony around Rivanah turned into pin-drop silence.
26
‘Please tell me this isn’t true,’ Rivanah said in a resigned manner. She had never seen Ishita look so serious before.
‘But it is true, Mini. I love you,’ Ishita said with no change in her expression.
Rivanah pulled up a chair and sat down on it with a thud. She hid her face with her hands. Nothing was making sense to her. She looked up and said, ‘What’s with Hiya . . .?’ And noticed Ishita had an amused face.
‘What?’ Rivanah shrugged.
Ishita burst out laughing. For a moment Rivanah was clueless and then she got it. Her ex-roomie was kidding. She was fucking kidding.
‘I will kill you, Ishita. I sure will,’ Rivanah said, watching Ishita who was in splits by now. ‘This isn’t funny, Ishita.’
Realizing Rivanah was actually cross and extremely serious, Ishita stopped laughing.
‘I am so sorry, babes. I thought I would surprise you.’
‘But this is not the way.’
‘Okay, I am sorry, yaar. What’s the big deal? Don’t tell me the stranger is still behind you,’ Ishita said, and, looking at Rivanah, her jaw fell.
‘Are you serious?’
Rivanah nodded.
‘Then I’m seriously sorry.’
Rivanah took a few minutes to relay to Ishita what all had happened since she left for Gurgaon.
‘So the stranger is still there somewhere? Unbelievable! What does he want?’
‘I have no idea!’
‘And that Hiya Chowdhury thing you told me about is fucking scary, dude!’
‘Tell me about it.’
All Yours, Stranger: Some Mysteries are Dangerously Sexy Page 15