He hurried back to the kitchen and pulled out the lasagne and brought it to the table before he returned to the kitchen and grabbed the salad bowl and a basket of bread rolls.
“I hope you are hungry,” Tucker said as he sat down across from Lucy. "I have strawberry cheesecake for dessert.”
“I am starving,” Lucy replied with a broad smile.
“Then dig in,” he said as he scooped up a piece of lasagne and put it on Lucy’s plate before he took a piece for himself. Lucy grabbed the salad tongs and put some salad on Tuckers plate before she gave herself some too.
Tucker looked up at her and smiled, and Lucy couldn’t help but return his smile. She loved that he made her feel so at ease.
“Thank you for doing this,” Lucy said, as she picked up her fork and tucked into her dinner. She picked up a piece of the lasagne and brought it to her mouth. She smiled as she quickly swallowed the piece, knowing Tucker was waiting on her verdict. “It’s delicious. Tastes kind of like my dad’s.”
“Well,” Tucker said and blushed a little. “That’s because the Chief taught me how to cook it. He taught me a lot of things.”
“Oh,” Lucy said, still a little confused by Tucker’s friendship with her father. She turned her attention back to her dinner.
“You’re not comfortable with my friendship with your dad, are you?” Tucker asked, surprising her.
“I am not uncomfortable,” Lucy replied, honestly. “I am confused. I don’t understand how you and my dad seem so close, yet he never bothered to mention it to me.”
“I think he was afraid he would have to explain how it came about,” Tucker shrugged as he picked up his glass and took a long sip, and Lucy knew he was stalling for time.
“Why is it such a big deal?” Lucy asked, as she watched Tucker closely.
“I don’t know,” Tucker replied. “I guess he thought he was protecting you.”
“This is about you beating the crap out of Trent,” Lucy said. “Isn’t it?”
Tucker stopped dead with his fork halfway to his mouth. He put it back down on the plate and looked up at Lucy. “How do you know about what happened between Trent and me? Did Riley tell you?”
“No,” Lucy quickly replied, surprised that she seemed to have hit a raw nerve. Suddenly Tucker seemed defensive, but Lucy didn’t know why. “April did, she came by my dad’s today. She was upset…”
Tucker didn’t say anything. Instead, he looked at Lucy, looking a little like he was going to be sick.
“She told me what happened between her and Trent,” Lucy continued. “She was upset that if she had come forward back then, that maybe Trent wouldn’t have gotten away with it and…”
She stopped mid-sentence and looked down at her plate, as she considered what she should say next if she should ask him why he beat up Riley too. What was it Trent had said to him that night after he had beat him up?
“What is it?” Tucker asked, and she could hear the concern in his voice.
“She told me, that you tried to talk her into coming forward,” Lucy began.
“I thought if she did, it would have helped you,” Tucker shrugged.
“She told me that she followed you that night,” Lucy said, as she glanced up at Tucker, curiously. “That she saw you beating the crap out of Trent.”
“It was nothing he didn’t deserve,” Tucker replied as he remained focused on his dinner.
“She said that Trent said something to you, and you took off,” Lucy proceeded nervously. “Then she said that the next she heard, you had been arrested for beating up Riley too.”
“Lucy,” Tucker said as he set down his fork on the table “I know you want answers, and I know you deserve them too. But somethings are better left alone. I promise you, this is not a scab you want to pick. I just ask that you trust me on this.”
“Okay,” she said, suddenly feeling like a bold child being scolded.
They ate for a moment in silence, and the comfortable atmosphere that had been there was replaced with an uncomfortable one.
“I’m sorry,” Tucker finally said looking up at Lucy, giving her a cautious smile. “The thing is, I don’t like to think about the past either. Back then, I was not the person I am now. I was angry with everyone and everything. My dad had walked out on my mom and me. He broke her heart, so she took up with every single asshole that came along. Including one that thought it was okay to use her as a living punch bag. Coming here to River Springs was meant to be a fresh start, but she hooked up with yet another loser.”
“Tucker,” Lucy said, as she reached out and took his hand. “You don’t have to tell me this.”
“No, I want to,” Tucker quickly replied. “After I was arrested, the chief came to see me. I don’t know; maybe he felt like he owed me one for what I did to that piece of crap, but he said he could have the charges dropped if I promised to do whatever he said. I agreed.”
“And that’s how you became friends?” Lucy asked.
“I guess it was,” Tucker nodded. “He got the DA to make a deal, I would do community service, and if I stayed out of trouble for twelve months, my record would be wiped clean. He had me sign up to the big brother program, and I helped out at the old folk’s rec-centre.”
“Sounds like my dad alright,” Lucy smiled.
“My mom was hardly around,” Tucker continued. “And with my dad out of the picture, I found myself at your dad’s more and more. In the end, he became the only person who actually looked out for me. When my mom left town, the chief took me in until I got my place at the academy. He pulled a couple of strings when I was finished training to get me a deputy post here in River Springs.”
“He told me none of this,” Lucy said, and couldn’t help but feel a little more like the outsider.
“You know he loves you, Lucy,” Tucker replied, feeling like he had to make her see this.
“I know,” Lucy shrugged. “It’s just, I guess I thought we were closer, but he had this whole other life, whole other family and I wasn’t a part of it.”
Tucker put his fork and his napkin down on the table, then suddenly stood up. He walked around to Lucy, dropped down to his knees beside her and took her face in his hands.
“You are the most important person in this family,” Tucker said, looking her in the eyes. “You are the most important person in my life, Lucy. There was never anyone that came close. Every girl I met, every date I went on, I compared them to you. I compared their kiss to that one kiss we shared, and they never stood a chance.”
He leaned forward and softly pressed his lips to hers.
“Tucker,” Lucy breathed against his lips. “I’m scared.”
“Please don’t be afraid of me,” he whispered, as he placed soft kisses along her bottom lip.
“Tucker,” Lucy said, knowing she needed, to be honest with him. “I have never…not since…I couldn’t, I don’t know if I ever can.”
He pressed his lips to hers again and stopped her.
“Breathe,” he whispered against her mouth. “One breath at a time, one step at a time. We can do this together because you and I are meant to be. Every second of my life, of both our lives, has brought us here to this place, to this moment.”
“But I’m scared,” she repeated.
“So am I,” Tucker whispered. “More than I have ever been in my life.”
Chapter 16
Tucker stood up, pulled her up from the chair and wrapped her in his arms. He kissed her again, softly at first, but slowly it deepened and became hungrier.
Lucy’s head was spinning. She wanted him, but it was the scariest feeling she had ever felt.
“Please trust me, Lucy,” Tucker whispered.
“I want to,” Lucy replied, but she could barely hear herself over the drumming in her ears. “I want to more than anything in this world, but I am frightened of what I am feeling.”
He reached down and took her hand, then turned slowly and led her down the hallway.
When they reache
d his bedroom, Lucy thought her heart was going to burst free from inside her chest. She was beyond terrified, but she fought her instinct to run because she wanted this too.
“Don’t be frightened,” Tucker said as he closed the door and turned to face, Lucy. “We can stop whenever you want. Just say the word. You can trust me. I promise I will never hurt you, Lucy. I would never do anything to cause you one moment of pain.”
“I know,” she replied, breathlessly. “I do trust you, Tucker. I would trust you with my life.”
Tucker leaned in and kissed her again as he slowly lifted his hands and slid her cardigan from her shoulder. He broke his lips from hers and met her gaze once more. He knew she was terrified, and he wanted to be sure that he wasn’t pushing her too far, too fast.
But Lucy wanted this. She wanted to feel wanted, to feel normal, even if it was for just one night.
She leaned in and pressed her lips to his. With trembling hands, she reached for the buttons on his shirt. One by one she eased them open, but it was hard because, with each button, her hands shook more.
“Lucy,” Tucker whispered, as he took her hands and stopped her. He looked into her eyes. “We don’t have to…”
“No! No!” She quickly exclaimed. “I want to. I…”
She stopped, not knowing how to say what she was feeling. She closed her eyes and took a deep, steadying breath, but she could feel her cheeks flush with embarrassment.
“Lucy, it’s me,” he whispered. “Talk to me.”
“It’s just, I was a virgin,” she finally said as she opened her eyes and looked up at Tucker. “Before that night I mean. I was waiting, and I have never had sex since that night either, so I don’t know how…”
“Lucy,” he said as he softly touched her face with his hand. Lucy closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. “
“Truth is…” she continued, figuring she needed to be completely honest. “I have never even had an orgasm.”
“Look, we don’t have to…” Tucker began to say, but Lucy leaned up and kissed him, stopping him mid-sentence.
“I want to,” she said in a bare whisper, as she pressed her forehead to his. “I want to have more than the memory of that night in my head. I want to know what it is like to feel so lost in another person, that the rest of the world stops existing. Just like it does in every damn book I have ever read. I want more, and I want it with you. I want you.”
“You have me,” he whispered as he drew her closer to him and tenderly claimed her lips with his.
As he kissed her, Tucker reached around to the back of Lucy’s dress and eased the zipper down, then slowly slid the dress from her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor before she quickly kicked it away, along with her shoes.
Lucy could barely breathe, but she wanted him. She had never wanted anything more.
Tucker breathlessly released her mouth from his, as he dropped his lips to the soft, smooth skin of her shoulder. Lucy closed her eyes and let her body respond to his, pushing all other thoughts out of her head. There was just her and Tucker.
He moved slowly along her collarbone, softly kissing her as he did. When his mouth finally found hers again, he nervously reached behind and slowly opened the clasp on her bra. He released it as he broke his lips from hers once more.
Tucker looked straight into Lucy’s eyes, and she knew he was making sure she was okay.
If she was honest, she had to fight hard to resist the urge she had to cover herself. She stood there before him, almost naked, her heart nearly pounding out of her chest, but when she looked into his eyes, she knew that this was right. So she gave him a smile as she nervously reached up, and eased her bra straps down her arms.
Then, with one last deep breath, she dropped the bra to the floor.
Tucker dropped his eyes briefly before he looked back up at Lucy and smiled.
“You are beyond beautiful,” he whispered as he moved closer to her and suddenly claimed her lips with his. This time, his kiss was filled with so much passion and want, it made Lucy’s entire being spin with desire.
She reached for his buttons once more, but this time, her hands didn’t shake. She made short work of his shirt buttons while Tucker slowly moved them both until Lucy could feel the bed against her legs.
He dropped his mouth from hers, kissing along her jawline before he worked his way down her neck, and kissed along her collar bone once more.
Tucker slowly brushed his hands down her side and softly caressed the side of Lucy’s breasts and her breath hitched in the back of her throat. He bent down and kissed her shoulder, his lips pressing against the rough skin of the scar. Lucy’s heart tightened, and she released a small cry from her mouth, but Tucker continued. Next, he pressed his lips against the scar on the curve of her breast.
Lucy could barely breathe. She was always so ashamed of the marks on her body, but Tucker made her see past them.
She cried out as Tucker then dropped his mouth down further and claimed her nipple sucking and teasing it with his tongue. The pleasure was indescribable. He slowly dropped to his knees and pressed his lips to her stomach and reached for the rim on her panties.
Lucy lifted her hands and weaved her fingers through his thick hair as he slowly eased her panties down her legs.
He looked up at Lucy and gave her a smile before he stood up and claimed her mouth once again, as he eased her down onto the bed.
Lucy lay there looking up at Tucker, feeling completely exposed. Her eyes dropped to his hands as he pulled open the buttons on his jeans, then pushed them, along with his boxer shorts, down to the ground, kicking them off along with his shoes.
Lucy’s eye dropped to his swollen penis, and she gasped.
OH SHIT! OH SHIT! She cried in her head. You can do this. You can do this!
Tucker slowly climbed onto the bed above Lucy as he leaned down and slammed his mouth to hers.
Lucy’s heart was hammering rapidly in her chest as she tried to focus on Tucker and nothing else. She returned his kissed as all the pain and stress of the last few days finally seemed to disappear. She had never in all her life felt the way she was feeling right at that moment.
She was beyond terrified and yet; she felt so alive and excited for the first time in such a long time.
Tucker breathlessly broke his lips from Lucy’s as he looked down into her eyes before he reached for his bedside table and pulled out a foil packet from the top drawer.
“You don’t need it,” Lucy said quickly, and she could see from Tucker’s face he was surprised, and she understood why he was. The truth was, she had started the pill when she had considered taking things further with Steve, hoping that maybe she would someday reach that point with him. She continued taking them after they broke up out of habit more than anything else.
Tucker stared at her for a moment, then with a small smile he claimed her lips once again, pushing her back on the bed and this time he slipped between her legs.
When Lucy felt the head of Tucker’s swollen erection press against her, the memory of Trent suddenly crashed into her mind. She could remember the smell of cigarettes and beer, the taste of him in her mouth, the feel of him against her skin.
She pinched her eyes closed and tried to push the memories from her mind, but it was no good. She pinched her eyes tighter as her whole body began to tremble.
“Lucy,” Tucker whispered, and she knew he could sense her fear. “Lucy, look at me.”
She opened her eyes and found the same brown eyes that had looked at her that night, staring down at her again, and suddenly she felt calm. She stared at him for a moment, as once more, her body longed for his.
All thoughts of Trent vanished, and all she could think of was Tucker. She gave him a smile and leaned up and pressed her lips to his.
“I want you,” she whispered softly against his lips. “Make love to me.”
Tucker stared back at her for a moment, then smiled. He slowly moved, pushing into her gently. Lucy cried out as he filled h
er completely, and she held him tighter.
“Lucy,” he breathed against her mouth.
“Tucker,” she cried, unsure of just what she was feeling, as she tried to adjust to him being inside her. She was sure it would feel wrong, terrifying even, but it was anything but that. “I’m okay. Please.”
He watched her for a moment before he finally moved. He pulled out of her slowly before he then pushed back inside her again.
“OH GOD!” Lucy cried out again and once more Tucker stilled.
Finally, he began to move again, but this time, he didn’t stop. He pushed into her over and over, each time slowly, and tenderly, and for the briefest moment, she couldn’t help but compare how tender Tucker was to the cruel, roughness of Trent and there was no comparison.
It was in that exact moment Lucy realised; she had nothing to fear anymore. Sex was not the vile, invasion of her body she once believed it was. What Trent did was not sex, it was not passion. It was nothing more than an assault. It was vile and ugly, but it could no longer control her.
What she felt with Tucker, was exciting, intimate and beautiful. It felt good and right.
As Tucker pushed into her over and over again, she could feel her body begin to tremble once more, but this time, it was different. It was not fear that made her shake; it was pleasure and excitement. She knew she was coming apart.
She wrapped her arms around him tighter, pulling him so close to her that their bodies were almost one, moving in unison, each thrust pushing her higher.
“OH, TUCKER!” She cried out as she held on to him tighter. Her head was spinning, and her entire body felt like it was about to explode.
“Lucy,” Tucker moaned, breathlessly.
She held him even tighter as her orgasm broke inside her, every inch of her body trembling with sheer pleasure as she cried out incoherently. That was all Tucker needed; he could hold back no more. He erupted inside her, as he pulled her body to his and he came hard, before he breathlessly collapsed on top of her, both of them gasping for air. Both completely satisfied.
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