by Becky McGraw
"Now, Gabe...." she panted breathlessly, then closed her fingers around him and stroked.
With a growl, he moved over her and spread her thighs, lifting one over his forearm, before he looked deeply into her eyes and pushed halfway inside of her warmth, then stopped trying to get a hold of his rampaging need. She was so hot and tight, he was afraid he'd finish before he even got started.
"Mmm...so damned good," she said in a fervent whisper. "More..." she begged wiggling her hips against him. "I need more, Gabe."
He needed to go slowly, because he wanted her with him on this incredible ride, so he eased into her a little more, then leaned back a little and found the bud at the top of her thighs and massaged her there.
Karlie moaned and tossed her head and begged again, "Don't tease me Gabe, I need you..." as she tried to take him farther inside her body. Her breathing was coming in short pants, and he felt her inner muscles tightening around him and knew she was close...he was closer.
With a groan, he shoved inside of her fully and sat there for a minute enjoying heaven. He was so racked with sensations, he couldn't sort them out, or go slow anymore, when
Karlie started moving against him. On its own, his body started a frantic rhythm intended to drive both of them over the edge.
Karlie met him stroke for stroke, her inner muscles massaging him to the best climax he'd had in years...maybe ever. She wailed his name and her body shook violently at the same time he roared, his body clenching against the overwhelming tide of his own release. When it finally subsided, his muscles felt like jello and he was lightheaded from the pace of his erratic breathing.
"Holy, shit," she said weakly then pulled him down on top of her and hugged him, raining kisses on his cheek.
"My sentiments exactly," he mumbled into her shoulder, trying to get his breathing and heart rate back to normal. He pushed up from her and smiled. "I'll be right back, don't go anywhere," he told her and she nodded. Gabe went into the bathroom to dispose of the condom. He flipped on the light and walked to the toilet, then stopped and did a double take at the shards of broken latex, and his heart dropped to his toes.
Shit, he thought, he was always so careful...and this is what he got for his trouble. Karlie was going to kill him. Maybe she was on the pill, he thought, he hoped so anyway. He didn't want to tell her, but he had to, and face the music, whatever the tune turned out to be. After he washed up, Gabe went back into the bedroom and turned on the lamp on the nightstand then sat on the bed.
Karlie looked up at him, so trusting and sexily tousled, his heart squeezed in his chest and emotion choked him when he told her, "We need to talk, sweetheart."
Dread filled Karlie when she saw the look on Gabe's face...surely he wasn't going to dump her now that he'd gotten what he wanted. But his face was so pinched, his eyes so serious, after the mind-blowing love they'd just made, she couldn't think of what else it could be.
Tears burned her eyes and she told him, "Just spit it out, I'm a big girl..." then she flipped the covers off of her and went to stand, finishing in a watery voice, "If you're that kind of man, just do it and I'll get out of here." Disappointment in herself and him filled her, when she bent down to grab her clothes. Karlie had made a big mistake here, one she was going to be a long time getting over.
Gabe grabbed her shoulders, then pulled her up and into his arms. "What the hell, Karlie? I'm not dumping you, baby, and you're not leaving," Gabe told her in a pained voice holding her tightly against him.
"What's the matter then?" she asked weakly against his chest and felt her tears spilling out of her eyes.
Gabe groaned then admitted, "The condom broke...tell me you're on the pill..."
She groaned and said, "Wish I could...dammit," with horror freezing her insides, then she pushed away from him and started pacing. "I told you to remind me not to drink the water in this town."
"I'm sorry, Karlie..." he walked over to pick up the packet from the floor and looked at it closely, "Expired...fuck! I knew they'd been in that drawer for a while, but had no idea they were expired."
"Didn't have much sex in Mesa, huh?" she taunted him with tongue in cheek, and a waggle of her eyebrows. Why that thought made her happy, she didn't know, but Karlie didn't want to think of Gabe with anyone else.
He turned and shot her a look, then tossed the wrapper in the small trashcan by the bed with disgust. "I had plenty of sex, but not at my apartment...I never brought women to my place."
Karlie's smile faded, as jealousy stabbed through her heart. "I see...we'll aren't I the lucky one then?" she said in a voice dripping with sarcasm, then slid her shorts over her legs, and pulled on her shirt, buttoning it with trembling hands, before she stomped her feet into her boots. "I'm sure it'll be fine...you don't have to worry. But I would replace those condoms before the next woman comes over here."
He spun around and a thundercloud descended over his face, before he took three big steps then grabbed her shoulders and told her fiercely, "There won't be a next woman, Karlie, because if you're pregnant, we're getting married." His words seemed sincere, but his face was a mask of horror...slightly green and definitely holding signs of a complete aversion to the idea of marriage to her.
There wouldn't be a next woman, if she was pregnant, huh? What if she wasn't pregnant?
Karlie felt blood surge up to her face and shook off his hands, then put a finger in his chest and leaned toward him to say, "I'll get married when I say I'm getting married...and it won't be because I'm pregnant. If I'm pregnant, I'll raise my baby alone. So you can go on about your business, and your women, and leave me the fuck alone, Gabe Kelley. Now give me the keys to my car so I can get out of here."
How dare he try to dictate to her what she was going to do. She'd just gotten rid of one overbearing mule of a man, she didn't need another. And she wasn't getting married just because she was pregnant. Unless a man proved to her that he loved her, and she loved him, marriage was something she could wait on. Especially when the man in question was obviously a player. Hah, she'd met his type too many times on the rodeo circuit. He didn't have women over to his apartment, because he was a typical one-night-stand man, love 'em and leave 'em.
Karlie liked her independence, and wasn't giving it up for a man just because she'd had sex with him...no matter how damned good it had been. She didn't think she was pregnant, the timing was off, but if she was, she meant what she said, the baby would be hers, and she would call the shots.
It was too damned bad Gabe wasn't the man she thought he was. She was developing feelings for him, but evidently his were all in his pants. He had plenty of women in Mesa according to him, so he sure didn't need her. Before long, he'd probably have plenty here in Bowie too. She didn't need him and his horde of women, or his dry-rotted condoms in her life. Better to find that out now, than to get hurt later.
Tears filled her eyes and she said again, "Give me my damned keys, now!"
Gabe hesitated, standing there buck naked, with his hands on his hips, still making her mouth water as mad as she was at him. Finally, he huffed out a frustrated sigh and walked over to a chair in the corner. Grabbing his uniform pants, he dug in the pocket then pulled out her keys. He took her hand in his and put them in the palm, but he didn't let it go. Instead, he pinned her with angry blue eyes and told her in a grating tone, "If you're pregnant, Karlie, you better let me know, because that baby is mine too, and I take care of my own."
She nodded then pulled her hand from his and turned to leave.
Before she made it to the door though, Gabe grabbed her again and then turned her to face him, "Karlie, stay tonight--you can have the bed. I'll sleep on the couch. I don't like you going out this late by yourself...and Cassie and Luke are probably already sleeping."
She looked over at the small sofa covered in boxes, then ran her eyes over the large man holding her and she said, "There's no way you're going to fit on that sofa, Gabe."
With his jaw clenched and his face full of worry and dete
rmination, he told her, "I've done it before, I'll make it work...if that's the only way I can get you to stay."
Sarge got up from the rug in front of the fireplace and waddled up beside her then yawned widely. Maybe she was flying off the handle here, she thought. That was her typical mode of operation, had been all of her life. Perhaps it was time to change that, she thought, since she was a grown up now, not a hotheaded teenager. Cassie and Luke were probably sleeping, and it would be inconsiderate of her to wake them...and even though Gabe had warned Jake off, that didn't mean he wasn't still around.
Karlie huffed out a breath then conceded, "We're adults, we can both sleep in the bed, I'll just leave my clothes on," then her eyes roved over his delicious body and she added, "And you can put yours back on too," before she walked back toward the bedroom with Sarge following her.
Clothed or not, Gabe didn't think he was going to be able to sleep in the same bed with Karlie and not touch her. They were like two opposite poles of a magnet, just automatically drawn to each other. Or at least he was with her. The way she'd acted after they'd made love made him think she wasn't quite as attached to him as he was to her. And her reation wasn't because of the condom incident, because she'd basically made a joke of it...totally blown that off.
The only thing he could reason out was she'd just used him for sex, and now she was tossing him to the curb. Her anger was a useful tool to do that, he guessed. He'd done that often enough to women to know the signs...not that he was proud of it by any means. Now that he knew what it felt like, he'd never do it again, that was for sure.
Gabe had even offered to do the right thing and marry her if she was pregnant, even though the thought of marriage for any reason made him want to hurl. That had only seemed to make her even more pissed. Shaking his head, Gabe walked into the bedroom, slid on his underwear, then got in the bed on the other side of Sarge, who was snuggled up to Karlie's side, his face in her neck. Lucky damned dog, he thought, and punched his pillow.
Visions of he and Karlie making love helped him fall asleep, but those blended into horrific images of her beaten to a pulp and dying, with a man sitting on top of her like he had sat on Jake Johnson, then that image faded to scenes of him and Kenny as kids on his daddy's farm, before they were overpowered by the dream he'd tried to keep away for two years, but couldn't. The day Kenny died...the day Gabe had let him die.
Every emotion he'd experienced that day replayed in the dream, the deep sense of hopelessness, the fear, when he knew he'd fucked up and blown their cover, to his determination to get them out. Like a cut scene in a movie, that faded to the agitation he'd felt when Kenny winked at him and tried to smooth things over with the gang members. Soon, that was overwritten by the paralyzing indecision and absolute horror when Kenny yelled, "Run, G!" right before he dove into the gang surrounding him like a death squad. His dream transitioned to him running for his life toward the warehouse door, with a couple of gang members hot on his heels, as overwhelming grief almost took him to his knees when he heard the gunshots that took his best friend's life.
All of those feelings he'd experienced swirled inside of him, and Gabe fought against them, but their acid burned in his chest, along with extreme guilt that demanded release. Sitting up, he screamed, then screamed again, trying to purge them from his soul. His whole body was shaking violently and he felt like he wanted to vomit. His breathing was labored and he felt like his throat was closed off, as hot tears scalded his cheeks for what he should have done to help his friend, but hadn't.
Someone was shaking him and he fought against the hands gripping his shoulders and flailed against the imaginary thugs, until a voice calling his name penetrated the demons that had claimed him. Disoriented, he opened his eyes and looked around the darkened room, then he blinked when a lamp came on and he finally realized he wasn't in that warehouse, but in his cabin...and he wasn't alone.
Gabe was wheezing trying to drag in breaths, and gather all those demons back into the black box where he kept them in inside of him. They didn't escape often, but often enough that he'd never let a woman sleep all night with him to see it. He'd done that now, and paid the price for it, he realized, as he looked into Karlie's frightened tear-filled eyes, as she ran her hand over his face trying to calm him down. He saw her cheek was red and he put his hand to it, and asked with dread, his voice raw, "Did I do that?"
Karlie shook her head no, but he knew he had done it when he flailed around. He told her in a flat guilt-ridden voice and rubbed her cheek, "I'm so sorry Karlie...I shouldn't have let you stay...I should have brought you back to the Double B. Let me get dressed and I'll take you, then bring Freddie to you tomorrow."
There was no way in hell Karlie was leaving Gabe like this. She'd never seen someone so gripped like that by a dream, like they were reliving some horrific event and were being tortured by it. In his dream, Gabe had been back in the moment when his best friend was killed, and he'd been talking to him in his sleep, trying to save him. Karlie hadn't been afraid for herself by the dream, she was afraid for Gabe, and that she wouldn't be able to wake him up from it. He couldn't keep all that bottled up inside of him, and just let it out while he slept, and expect to keep his sanity.
In a soft whisper she ran her hand along his stubbled jaw, and told him, "Gabe, I'm not leaving you, baby. Lay back down and I'm going get some water and a rag. I'll be right back," she told him and kissed his cheek, her lips trembling.
As Karlie slid off the bed and went to the kitchen, she was amazed that he'd apologized to her for having the nightmare, like it was his fault. She also felt like a total shit for thinking he was a player, because now she knew why he didn't let women stay overnight at his apartment in Mesa. He thought the demons inside of him would scare them off, when those specters crept out at night to haunt him.
Karlie was sure this wasn't the first, or fiftieth time he'd had that dream, since his friend Kenny was killed. She knew how guilty he felt about it, had seen it in his face, heard it in his voice when he'd talked about it, but she hadn't realized how deep his pain went, or how much the guilt was torturing him, until tonight.
Karlie grabbed a glass of water for him, then went to the bathroom and dragged out a clean washrag and wet it down in the sink. When she walked back into the bedroom, she saw him laying back with his arm over his eyes, his body covered in sweat, his heart beating swiftly.
"Sit up, sugar..." she said and he opened blue eyes full of misery so complete, a knot of emotion surged up into her throat. He shoved up on his elbow and held his hand out for the glass, then drank it all down and handed it back to her, before collapsing back on the pillow. "Thanks...I'm sorry, Karlie," he said in a disgusted tone.
She shooed Sarge off the bed, then sat down and scooted over beside him, and pulled his arm off of his face, and ran the wash cloth across his forehead, along his cheeks, across his mouth, and down his throat. Gabe moaned and sucked in a breath when she moved it across his chest. Leaning down she placed a kiss over his heart, then kissed his lips. "It's fine, Gabe...I'm fine. I'm worried about you though."
He snorted, then rolled over so his back was facing her, "Don't worry about me, Karlie. This is all my fault...I thought I could do this, but I can't...just go back to the Double B."
"Do what, Gabe?" Karlie asked and put her hand on his shoulder and rubbed.
He shrugged off her hand and said nastily, "The all night thing...sex and a sleepover. Like I said, I don't have women stay at my place, so just go...it's better for both of us."
Karlie's heart thudded then skipped a beat, it was so soaked in hurt. "Sex huh? That's what I was to you...tell me that straight up, Gabe, and look at me when you do it," she told him then climbed over him and grabbed his shoulders. "Open your eyes, dammit! Tell me!" she yelled at him and shook his shoulders.
"Fucking back off, Karlie...I can't talk about this right now," he grated, his face flushing red, and she saw a tear leak out of the corner of his left eye.
"Talk to me, Gabe," she
begged him in a broken whisper. "Tell me what's wrong...I want to help you."
When he vaulted up in the bed and grabbed her shoulders, Karlie automatically whimpered, then shrank away from him and folded her arms over her head protectively. Gabe sobbed then his fingers loosened on her shoulders and he pulled her into his chest, holding her. "Oh, god, baby...I'm sorry I scared you," he said kissing her hair and rubbing her back. "I'm not fit to be around, darlin'...you need to leave."
"I'm not leaving you, Gabe," she told him firmly against his chest. "No matter how nasty you are to me...I made it through what Jake dished out to me, I can help you get through this."
He shoved her away from him then and pinned her with angry blue eyes. "Don't ever compare me to that bastard again, Karlie," his nostrils were flared and she saw his fists clenched along with his jaw. "What am I to you Karlie, a project? A charity case? If that's what you think of me, you really can get the hell out of here...now. I don't want your fucking pity, and I don't need your help."
She slid across the bed to stand and look at him, tears burning behind her eyes as she told him, "Well, you need someone's help, Gabe. You can't keep all that crap inside of you and expect to have a normal relationship with anyone. No, you're not a fucking project to me...I love you, and wanted to help you, but obviously you don't need anyone." Karlie spun on her heel and stomped out of the room, and through the cabin to the front door.