‘For God’s sake, Charlie, lie down,’ he muttered. ‘I’m already aware that you’re in love with the doctor, it’s not like I’m about to read into you watching TV with your head on my lap and think my luck is in.’
‘Who said I’m in love? When did I mention love?’ I exclaimed.
‘You’re not?’ he asked with a frown.
‘I don’t know him. Trust me, it’s all about the lust, definitely not about love. You can’t fall in love with someone you don’t even know.’
‘So how many times have you been in love?’ he asked as he patted the cushion.
‘I don’t think I ever have been. I’m not sure I’d even know if I was,’ I said as I tucked up my legs on the sofa and snuggled down with my head on his lap.
‘Huh,’ he huffed as he stretched his arm along the back of the plump leather sofa back.
‘How about you?’ I asked, twisting my head to look up at him.
‘Once,’ he nodded. ‘We started dating in college, but it didn’t work out.’
‘How come?’
‘We didn’t see much of each other when we went to universities on different sides of the country, and when we graduated and got together more often, we realised we’d grown apart, so agreed to separate.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be,’ he smiled down at me. ‘It fizzled out, it wasn’t a huge, painful break-up that had me turning to drink to drown my sorrows. Does that sound heartless?’
‘No. I guess if you know something’s not working, you’re prepared for the inevitable. You grieve for the loss of the relationship daily over a long period of time, rather than it being a shock and hitting you all at once.’
‘Hmmm,’ he nodded, with a serious, contemplative look on his face.
‘What are you thinking?’ I asked after a few minutes of silence.
‘I …’ He shook his head and ran a hand over his mouth. ‘We’re friends, right? Good friends?’
‘I’d say we’re the best of friends,’ I smiled. ‘Why?’
‘There’s things I think and feel about my situation that sometimes make me wonder if I’m becoming cold and heartless, and I’m worried if I tell you, you’ll see me differently.’
‘What?’ I gasped, quickly turning over to save getting a crick in my neck. ‘You’re one of the most warm-hearted and generous people I know, Kitt. How can you think that?’
‘Is it normal to sometimes wish my mum wasn’t suffering anymore? That she’d slip away peacefully?’ he asked in a pained tone, signs of confusion written all over his face. ‘I wouldn’t wish this life on anyone, not the way she’s living, or me. She has no idea what’s really going on around her, she doesn’t recognise her friends or her own son. She verbally and physically abuses me when she’s having an extra bad day, and it’s days like those that I find really hard.’
‘Anyone would find that hard, Kitt,’ I said softly, picking up his hand and squeezing it tightly. It hurt my heart to think how much he gave of himself for no gratitude. ‘I think what you’re feeling is perfectly normal. You want your mum back. You’re stuck in a toxic relationship, but feel obligated to stay because she is your mum and you remember how things used to be. And the fact that you do stay, that you haven’t stuck her in permanent care so you can get on and enjoy your life, says just how big your heart really is.’
‘You think?’ He gave me a pained smile.
‘I know,’ I said firmly. ‘You’re not wishing she was dead, you’re looking at it through compassionate eyes, wishing her suffering, and yours, was over. It’s like your relationship with the girl you loved. Without you being able to sustain it, it’s slowly dying. The only difference is you still love your mum. I’m sure when the day comes that she slips away, you’re going to be sad, but you’ll also feel a huge sense of relief, and there’s nothing wrong with that.’
‘Thanks,’ he said quietly, squeezing my hand back. ‘Jesus, talk about a depressing conversation to bring down the start of a New Year.’
‘It’s not depressing. It’s beautiful to see just how far people will go for the ones they love. It’s inspiring, actually. You, Kitt Fraser, Pizzaman extraordinaire, are an inspiration. I’m a lucky girl to have a friend like you in my life.’
I struggled up off his lap and planted a kiss on his cheek, then wrapped him up in a tight hug. He hesitated for a moment, then banded his arms around me as well. I closed my eyes and enjoyed feeling the warmth and comfort of being held so tightly. It had been a long time and I’d forgotten how great it felt, like I was cared for and protected, safe.
‘I’m the lucky one. How many customers would look past the guy who does a menial job of delivering food and see the man behind him?’ He shrugged as he released me and I sat back up.
‘There’s nothing wrong with what you do, it suits your life right now and is a means to an end. And even if it wasn’t, as long as you’re happy doing any job, that’s all that matters. People put too much emphasis on having to have “a career” or a “decent job.” Jobs pay money so you can live, they shouldn’t be the main focus of your life.’
‘Says the woman who buries herself in work,’ he laughed, his mood visibly lifting from one of melancholy to the cheerful guy I’d come to know.
‘But to me this isn’t work, I love what I do. It inspires me to get up each morning as I’m so excited to get words on paper. The fact it pays me a living is a bonus, obviously. So, if you weren’t delivering pizza, which by the way would break my heart if you stopped, what would you be doing?’ I asked.
‘I’m actually an architect.’ A slow smile spread across his face, his eyes lighting up with an enthusiasm and passion I’d never seen before. ‘I was working for a large firm in Newcastle, but obviously had to quit to come and take care of Mum.’
‘And that job made you happy? It was the one that made you want to leap out of bed every morning, like writing does for me?’ I asked as I curled back up on his lap and looked up at him.
‘It did,’ he nodded. ‘I miss it. I miss using my brain and I hate the way people look down on me without knowing what I’m actually capable of. Except you.’ He gave me a soft smile of gratitude and ran his hand over my hair, gently tucking some stray strands behind my ear, which sent a shiver down my spine. ‘You never treated me like just the delivery guy. You saw me when you didn’t even know me. You’re the least judgemental person I’ve ever met, and that’s a beautiful character trait to have, Charlie.’
‘Don’t make me blush,’ I giggled, doing just that as I tucked my hands under my heated cheeks. ‘I must have recognised another creative thinker, a kindred spirit. Your face just lit up when you said what you used to do. I like seeing you look like that. You’ve heard my entire life story since we met, but you never told me anything about your passion. Tonight, I’m all ears, and considering you know how much I love to talk, you’ll appreciate what a rarity that is,’ I said, making him laugh. ‘So, come on, the floor is yours. Tell me all about what your job entails and why you love it so much.’
‘You’re sure I’m not going to bore you?’
‘Do I look in a rush to go anywhere?’
‘No, you’re looking pretty settled.’ He laughed as Mrs. Tibbles jumped up onto the sofa and nestled herself on my side as she started to purr and painfully knead me. ‘And that definitely settles it, neither of us are going anywhere until she decides we can. They’re going to find our skeletons still sitting in the same position sometime next year as we’re too scared to move the demon cat.’
‘She’s not that bad, are you, Tibbs,’ I cooed as I bravely rubbed the side of her face. Her loud purr was a rare and welcome sound.
‘I bet she’s only happy as I let her have some prawns off my pizza, and now she’s hoping for some cheesecake.’
‘She can keep her grubby little paws off that. Oh no, it’s the countdown,’ I exclaimed as the chants from ten to zero radiated from the TV behind me. ‘God damn it, Tibbs, I’m going to miss the fireworks.’
‘I do,’ I laughed. ‘Happy New Year, Kitt. If I could reach my champagne, I’d toast to friendship and good luck. I have a feeling that things are going to improve for you this year, because no one deserves a lucky break more than you.’
We smiled at each other as the sound of cheering and fireworks exploded behind us.
Another year full of possibilities and change. I was looking forward to finding out what it would bring. I had a sense that it was going to be momentous.
Chapter Eleven
The Big Thaw
Six Weeks Later – Valentine’s Day
‘HURRY UP, WILL YOU?’ Quinn moaned from the front doorstep as I checked my bag to make sure I had my wallet and keys. ‘I’m freezing to death.’
‘You lived in New York, with the icy blast of Atlantic winds sweeping through it. A foot of Dilbury snow should feel like summertime to you,’ I said, shaking my head as I turned to face her. She was hopping from foot to foot and rubbing her leather-clad hands, completely muffled up with one of Daphne’s knitted bobble hats and a matching scarf. She’d even forgone her trademark thick knitted tights and mini skirt for a pair of jeans with her heavy boots. ‘Anyway, why am I coming kitchen shopping with you? I’m the last person to be giving advice on kitchens, I don’t even use my own.’
‘Because Miller and Abbie are away, Georgie is all loved up with Weston, and you’re my new BFF, so you’re stuck with me.’
‘Fine, but we’re going to stop at The Cock on the way back and dinner and drinks are on you, now that you have a new fancy salary, Quinn Wedding Planner Garcia,’ I told her.
‘Not yet, I don’t,’ she replied, a curl of white appearing in front of her mouth as she breathed out. ‘I don’t start until April.’
‘Whatever. Your brother’s a gazillionnaire, you can afford dinner,’ I teased her as I turned to lock the front door.
‘He might have bought me the cottage, but he doesn’t throw money my way, you know. He’s not extravagant with it.’
‘Hmmm, the cars and houses in two countries, private plane, and helicopter beg to differ. He’s the kind of guy my readers go crazy over.’
‘You think? I’m kinda over the whole “rich guy with issues” books.’
‘You’ll love my newest one then,’ I said. ‘I’m so excited, it’s abo–’ I shrieked as I stepped onto the path and my foot shot out from under me on a patch of ice. ‘Quinn!’ I squealed as I felt myself tipping backwards, and I reached out a hand to grab her to steady myself. I missed and went down with a thud, landing right on the edge of the raised doorstep with a force that rattled my bones. ‘Owww.’
‘You ok?’ Quinn laughed, offering me her hand.
‘No, my legs have gone to jelly and my arse is throbbing,’ I complained, wincing as she pulled me up.
‘Arse. Arse. Arse. Arse. Arrrrse,’ Quinn repeated in a variety of accents and styles, making me laugh. ‘It still doesn’t sound right.’
‘Whereas “tushy” or “ass” has that air of refined elegance? And don’t even start me on fanny pack, that’s a whole other level of wrong,’ I said, clinging to her arm as we trudged across the treacherous terrain of my path towards the drive. Her boots were so much better equipped to grip than mine were.
‘Well, it is wrong when you know what fanny stands for over here, but on the flip side, I nearly choked on my coffee the first time Daphne asked how your pussy was doing. Especially when she asked if the hair had regrown after being shaved and if it had its appetite back,’ she grinned, making me laugh again.
‘Poor Mrs. Tibbles, she did look a sight with her pink skin on display,’ I nodded. She’d been attacked by one of the most vicious farm tomcats, who was known in the village for terrorising everyone’s pets. But by all accounts, he’d come out far worse from the ordeal than Tibbs. She’d had an infected bite on her side that had to be shaved and stitched, whereas he’d been taken to the vets missing half an ear, with a swollen and badly bitten tail, numerous bald patches, and a set of claw marks across his nose that were likely to scar. I’d never been prouder of my girl for standing up for herself.
We made it to my car in one piece and I winced as I climbed in and sat down. I’d really hurt my bottom and the base of my spine with that fall. I quickly put on the heated seats for both of us and started the engine. Quinn cranked up the heating, angling all of the vents in reach towards her, and I shook my head.
She’d settled in here so well, having taken up residence in Abbie’s spare room while the renovations on Daphne’s old cottage were carried out. Each Saturday night, she’d come and stay with me to give Miller and Abbie some alone time. We’d had a few more entertaining girls’ nights out, which had led to Andy the taxi driver refusing to accept bookings from us for our return journey. Daphne had given us the feedback, from the Dilbury rumour mill, that we were too raucous and our drunken topics of conversation had interfered with his pacemaker. She’d decided if the conversation was that spicy, she wanted to come on the next night out.
I eased my car out of the drive and slowly made my way up the snowy lane. It was treacherous, and I felt the car sliding a few times. Quinn chuckled to herself when I had to take a couple of runs at getting up the incline from the church to the main road, which didn’t look much better than the lane, despite the council sending gritters out every morning and night since we got caught in this cold snap. I loved this weather when I was in my cottage with the fire roaring and I could look out at the beautiful view. Driving in it, in a sports car that wasn’t designed for snow, was another matter.
‘You ok?’ Quinn asked as we made it out of Dilbury, which had never looked more picturesque, coated in a blanket of snow with smoke curling out of all the chimney tops, and headed towards Shrewsbury. ‘You keep frowning.’
‘I’m trying to concentrate, the road is slippery, and I have a weird sensation in my bottom.’
‘You know you’re supposed to remove a butt plug, right?’
‘It’s not a butt plug,’ I uttered, swatting her arm as she teased me. ‘It’s going numb, my … lady parts are as well.’
‘Really?’ Her grin morphed into a frown. ‘That doesn’t sound good, but then you did go down kinda hard. Have you broken something?’
‘I don’t think you can your break your arse or … fanny,’ I scoffed, shifting in my seat as the weird tingling sensation continued to spread.
‘I don’t know. You didn’t meet my ex,’ she chuckled. ‘You’ve probably bruised your coccyx.’
‘Did you say that to him after?’ We both burst out laughing and she shook her head, but her smile faded quickly and she turned her head to stare out of the passenger window. ‘Do you miss him?’
‘No.’ Her response was too fast and sharp.
‘Do you want to talk about it?’
‘Not really. I don’t do all that emotional chick-bonding crap,’ she said brusquely, not looking over at me.
‘Did you love him?’
‘I’m not capable of love anymore, not for guys anyway. He was … you know what, I’m not in the mood to talk about him. He’s there, I’m here, we’re over. Nothing more to say.’
‘Ok, I hear you.’ If it had been anyone other than Quinn, I wouldn’t have taken no for an answer, as it was obvious there was a story there. Much as I’d love to get her to open up though, we were still fairly new friends. I already trusted her, but I got that with her past, my trust would have to be earned before she’d even consider sharing. And she might never want to anyway. Being brought up in foster care, abandoned by the people who were supposed to love and take care of you, was likely to make any kid emotionally withdrawn. She’d been self-sufficient for so long out of necessity. I wasn’t offended, I just hurt so much for her. ‘Quinn?’
‘I don’t mean to be a bitch, Charlie, but I said there was nothing more to say.’
‘I know, it’s just … I don’t think I should be driving,’ I said as I started to slow the car down on one of the long stretches of road. ‘I’m really losing sensation and it’s spreading.’
‘Pull over, now,’ she said firmly, quickly looking over at me. ‘You could have slipped a disc or something. We need to get you checked out. How far is your ER?’
‘About six miles. I’m sure it’s nothing, I’ve probably just bruised myself badly, but I don’t want to risk driving, just in case.’
‘If you’re losing feeling that fast, it’s serious. Pull over, I’ll get us there.’
‘Have you ever driven over here?’ I asked, gradually bringing the car to a halt and putting on my hazard lights.
‘No, but I’ve driven back home. How different can it be?’
‘Well, for a start, there’s the whole “other side of the road” thing,’ I pointed out, wondering if she’d really not noticed that minor detail.
‘Oh right. Yeah well, you can just remind me if I do something wrong. Wait for me, I don’t want you falling over again. I’ll come get you and walk you around.’
I sighed and nodded my agreement. Seriously, I was off to the hospital again? I smiled at the thought that I might see McFitty again, and I quickly angled the rearview mirror to check how I looked. I’d made a bit of an effort as we were going to some of the posh bespoke kitchen showrooms, so that was a bonus.
Five minutes later, Quinn virtually wheel span away from the hedge, the back end of my car sliding.
‘Hey, slow down. She doesn’t like snow or ice, much like her owner,’ I warned her. ‘Plus checking your mirrors before you pull out and using an indicator tends to be compulsory around here.’ I winced at the crunch of my gears and the potential whiplash as she jerked the car along the road instead of driving smoothly.
The Best Medicine Page 17