‘Forget the cigarette, you’re on fire.’
‘My wit’s always at an all-time high when I’m pissed off,’ I agreed.
‘No,’ she yelled, standing up so fast she knocked her chair over. ‘You’re on fire, actual fire.’ She pointed at me, and I looked down and shrieked, dropping the cigarette as my hands flew to the knot on my bust, where small flames were licking and rapidly creeping across the thin material. I shot up, my hands shaking as I started to feel the heat between my breasts, and I desperately tried to undo the knot. The flames were scorching my fingers as I tried, and my heart broke into a panicked canter as I started to hyperventilate. ‘Pull it down, pull it over your hips,’ she screamed as I felt the building heat on my face.
I tugged at the sides of the sarong and it fell down, coming to rest on my hips. God damn it, why did they have to be two inches wider than my damn bust? All I could see was a mass of orange flames coming from my waist as heat and panic set in, and Quinn started slapping at them with her e-Reader. All I could think of was getting wet to douse them, but we had no water on the table. My eyes darted from the open patio doors over to the plunge pool, trying to decide which was closer. The bathroom won, and with Quinn screaming like a banshee behind me, I took off at a pace an Olympian would have been proud of. By the time I skidded into the bathroom, I didn’t need to put the light on. The flames were licking at the underside of my bare breasts as I threw myself into the shower and spun the tap, screaming as the cold water blasted me back against the glass screen.
There was a sizzling sound as the water doused the flames, and I stood shaking under the freezing water, plunged back into darkness. Moments later, I heard a shriek and saw Quinn shooting across the floor past the open bathroom door on her backside, with a washing-up bowl full of water on her lap. She disappeared out of sight, a loud thud coming from my bedroom, followed by a moan and a load of swearing. I felt spaced out, like I wasn’t really here or experiencing anything. Had that seriously just happened? The only thing that felt real was the horrible sensation of burning pain in my hands.
‘Jesus, love, are you alright?’ a strange man panted as he appeared in the bathroom.
I opened my mouth to protest at the intrusion, but nothing came out. Somehow my sore hands found their way to cover my naked breasts as I blinked at him, still not really sure what had just happened.
‘Jean, get in here,’ he yelled as he turned the light on.
‘Is she ok, is my friend ok?’ I heard Quinn shout. ‘She set herself on fire.’
‘Oh God,’ a lady said as she joined the man in the bathroom and stared at me. I felt like an animal on display in the zoo. Who the hell were these people? What was going on? Blood was roaring in my ears, there were black spots in my vision, and I felt myself starting to sway on the spot. ‘We need to sit her down, she’s going into shock. Call an ambulance, then grab a sheet and soak it in cold water to wrap around her,’ the lady ordered as she came towards me and smiled, holding out her hands.
‘What … what’s happening?’ I asked, my teeth chattering together uncontrollably. Why was I shaking so much and why was it getting darker in here again?
‘Come on, love, take my hands. You’ve been in an accident. I need to get you lying down as your blood pressure is dropping. My name’s Jean, and I used to be a nurse, so you’re in safe hands.’
I did as I was told, and heard myself let out a pitiful moan right before everything went black.
When I came back around, I was lying on the sofa in the lounge, wrapped tightly in a cold, wet sheet. Quinn was biting her thumbnail as she stood on one leg and stared at me, while Jean sat on the coffee table, holding my wrist as she looked at her watch.
‘Oh God, you’re awake. Are you ok?’ Quinn asked.
‘What’s happened? Why do I feel so awful?’ I moaned. ‘My hands are really stinging.’
‘Your hands hurt? How about anywhere else?’ Jean asked as she let go of my wrist and turned my hands over to look at them.
‘No, just my hands, and I feel really sick and cold,’ I said, shivering again despite the heat of the sun reaching through to where I lay. I saw Quinn and Jean exchange a concerned look. ‘My sarong … my sarong caught fire,’ I whispered, not sure if it was a statement or a question.
‘There’s not much of it left, a sliver of material around your waist and the knot, that’s it,’ Quinn said with a grimace as she nodded her confirmation that I hadn’t just dreamed the last few minutes. ‘God, Charlie, you scared me. The flames were … Jean said you’ve got some bad burns and need to go to the hospital, we’re waiting for the ambulance.’
‘I’m fine. Apart from cold and shaking, and how much my hands hurt, I’m fine,’ I said, trying to sit up. Jean gently pushed me back down.
‘You need to stay lying down for me. Your blood pressure plummeted with the shock of what happened. Your hands will be ok, they’ve not even blistered. You’ve just scalded them, see?’ she said, holding them up for me to inspect. They were bright red, but so sore. ‘Quinn, can you get some tea towels and soak them in cold water? We can wrap them around her hands to soothe the burn.’
Quinn nodded and started hopping towards the kitchen.
‘What’s wrong, are you ok?’ I called.
‘I think I broke my toe,’ she moaned. ‘I filled the washing-up bowl with water to throw over you, but as I ran with it, the water sloshed over the side. I slipped on it and shot down the corridor and stubbed my toe on your wardrobe.’
‘Oh no,’ I giggled. Jean raised her eyebrows as she looked down at me. ‘It’s funny. The whole thing is funny. It could only happen to me,’ I laughed. I heard Quinn starting to laugh as well, and pretty soon we were both in tears as we guffawed, with Jean looking between us like we were crazy. She wrapped my hands up in the wet tea towels, which made me laugh even harder. Seriously, stuff like this really could only happen to me.
‘Jean, the ambulance is here. Can she walk or shall they bring the stretcher?’
‘Stretcher please, Bob,’ she called.
‘I’m … really … going to … hospital?’ I asked, giggling and gasping for air between words.
‘Yes. I’ll give Quinn my number, ring us when you’ve been treated and let us know how you are. We have the apartment upstairs, you’re lucky we were so close. Bob thought one of you was being raped, you were screaming so loud, so we ran straight down.’
‘Thank you, you’ve been really kind,’ I said, reaching up to wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes.
It seemed like the whole apartment complex had turned out to see what was going on as I was wheeled out on the stretcher and led down the pretty path bordered by cactus and palm trees towards the waiting ambulance, Quinn hopping her way alongside me.
‘Seriously,’ she said when we were both inside and the ambulance started up, ‘you couldn’t have waited until the last day of the holiday to have a medical disaster?’
‘Sorry,’ I grinned, feeling much more like myself and wondering what all the fuss was about, as I felt fine now except for my sore hands.
We arrived at Arrecife hospital and I cried out for Quinn as I was suddenly whisked away down a corridor, leaving her behind.
‘I’ll find you,’ she yelled as the lights on the ceiling whipped past above me.
I was taken into a large room and suddenly surrounded by people peeling off the tea towels and sheet as they spoke rapidly in Spanish. I was getting used to being seen virtually naked in hospitals, but what I wasn’t used to was having no idea what was going on. When a man leaned over me, speaking to me in Spanish, I shook my head.
‘Inglés,’ I said. He frowned and pointed at my stomach.
‘Sol? Errrr, this … sol?’ he asked. I shook my head, understanding he was asking if I had a sunburn.
‘No, feugo, fire.’ I bounced my eyes between everyone as they all started jabbering again, and someone appeared with a pair of scissors and made a move towards my hip. ‘No, these are my expensive lucky knick
ers, please don’t cut them off,’ I protested. ‘They cost fifteen pounds from Marks and Spencers.’
I was ignored as the tattered remains of my favourite pair were whipped off me and tossed in the trash. I was lifted, turned, tilted, and generally tossed around as they created the most enormous nappy out of bandages and used a big silver safety pin to secure them, then they managed to sit me up to put the dreaded open-back gown on me, before making me lie down again. Moments later, I was being shuttled out of the room and off down another corridor.
My laughter had worn off. The blood pounding in my veins felt as if it was turning to ice as fear set in. I had no idea what was going on, why I needed to be padded like this, or where the hell Quinn was. I was taken into a small bay with six hospital beds, and the staff slid me onto one of them, then disappeared.
A nurse arrived soon after and took my arm, tapping for a vein before she inserted a cannula in the crook of my elbow and attached a drip of clear fluid. She smiled at me before disappearing and leaving me on my own. I finally gave in to some tears. I’d give anything right now for an uninterested Dr. Fitton to come and tell me factually what was wrong, what was going to happen, and when I could go home, or even where Quinn was. After half an hour of frustrated tears, I finally gave in and closed my eyes and went to sleep, hoping when I woke up I’d have some answers.
‘Charlie? Oh God, I’ve been so worried. No one around here seems to speak any English.’
‘Quinn,’ I called as I opened my eyes and saw her struggling over on a pair of crutches, with her toes strapped up and bandaged. ‘What the hell is going on?’ I asked, struggling to sit up.
‘I don’t know. I asked so many times where you were, I gave up waiting and came looking for you. Are you ok?’
‘Define ok. I’m wearing a huge nappy, I have no clothes, and I’ve no idea what’s in this drip,’ I told her as she plonked herself in the visitor’s chair. ‘What have you done?’
‘Broken my toe,’ she grimaced. ‘It kills.’
‘How long have we been here?’
‘Hours. It’s late afternoon, you’ve obviously been asleep for a while.’
‘Do you have my phone?’ I asked. She nodded and rummaged in her bag and handed it over. I was grateful to see a signal and thankful I’d saved the number for the insurance company in it. When I rang them and explained what had happened, and that we had no idea what was going on, they told me to give them the name of the hospital and they’d ring them for answers. An hour later, they called back to say that I was being kept in for assessment the next morning. When I objected, saying no one spoke English and that I had no clothes or supplies with me, they agreed for me to get a taxi back to the apartment. They explained I would need to go to the English-speaking clinic in Puerto del Carmen the next morning to be checked, then rang the hospital to ask them to release me.
I was unhooked from the saline solution they’d been rehydrating me with and helped off the bed. Quinn burst out laughing as the giant nappy bandage immediately slid off my hips and landed in a heap on the floor, which made me groan and close my eyes from embarrassment. I had to stand with my arms in the air, naked but for the damn hospital gown, as the staff argued in Spanish the best way to wrap me up so that I could walk, and finally we were in a taxi on our way back. Jean expressed her surprise to see us, but sent Bob to collect two large pizzas for our dinner. She told us to have an early night, asking me to let her know how the appointment went at the clinic the following morning.
The Next Day – Sunday
‘Honestly,’ I told the dishy English-speaking Spanish doctor as he unravelled my bandages, ‘I don’t know what all the fuss is about. I feel fine apart from my stinging hands and the underside of my breasts.’
‘He’s just doing his job,’ Quinn said, trying to placate me. She gasped, her crutches falling with a loud clatter to the floor as her hands flew to her mouth when the last of the bandages were removed.
‘What? What?’ I asked, trying to look down, but my t-shirt clad boobs were in the way.
‘Don’t look, Charlie, don’t look. Oh God, I think I’m going to be sick,’ she moaned, turning green as she leaned back against the wall for support.
‘I agree, it’s best you don’t look,’ the doctor said. ‘I need you to lie down. The hospital, they discharged you?’ he asked, sounding puzzled.
‘Yes, why? Someone tell me what’s going on.’
‘You have very bad burns on your stomach and hip,’ he said, craning his neck to look behind me at my bare bottom. ‘Here, too.’
‘How bad?’ I asked, looking over at Quinn, who still had her mouth covered by her hands. She shook her head.
‘It’s like a car crash. I know I shouldn’t look, but I can’t tear my eyes away. You have an enormous green fluid-filled blister hanging off your side.’
‘But I can’t feel anything, it doesn’t hurt,’ I said, trying to decide if I wanted to look or not.
‘Burns this deep … they … how you say … kill the nerves,’ the doctor said. ‘So, no pain. You need to go to hospital.’
‘No,’ I said, firmly shaking my head. ‘I’m not going back there. No one speaks English, please don’t make me. Can’t I stay here?’ I pleaded. ‘I’m insured if that’s the problem.’
‘Charlie, I think we need to go home, get you treated there,’ Quinn suggested.
‘I totally agree, even better idea,’ I nodded as I was told to lie on my right-hand side while he figured out a way to re-dress me, which ended up with me being wrapped in bandages again, with a large white tubular mesh being pulled over the top of them to hold them in place. ‘I feel like a Cumberland sausage,’ I giggled as Quinn came to squeeze my arm while the doctor left the room to speak to the insurance company.
‘You really can’t feel anything?’
‘Not a sausage. Oh, nice pun by me,’ I grinned.
‘Well, they ought to take pictures of those gross blisters and put them on cigarette packets as a warning. I’m never touching one again.’
‘I think it was more the whole carrot oil and flame combo than the cigarettes, not that I’m going to complain.’
‘You were so lucky. Imagine if your long hair had been down, or if you didn’t have such big breasts, your face could have been burnt so badly. I’m going to go and see what’s happening, find out how soon we can get home, ok?’
‘Ok,’ I sighed. ‘I’m so sorry for ruining your holiday.’
‘Our holiday, and to be honest, I’m so shaken up over it all, I just want to get home too,’ she said.
A Week Later – Friday
‘I’m being moved again?’ I complained, as Dr. Fitton came to re-dress my burns and told me that he’d secured a bed at Stoke hospital for me, as they had a specialist burns unit that was better equipped to handle me. We’d landed at Birmingham airport two hours earlier, and an ambulance had been waiting to bring me to Shrewsbury, with Quinn getting a taxi home once I’d been dropped off here.
‘Trust me, Charlie, it’s the best place for you. You have first, second, and third-degree burns. I’m amazed the clinic over there released you, though lucky for us they did. They mistakenly deroofed your blisters and it looks like you have an infection in this worst section on your side,’ he said, frowning as he reapplied the dressings. ‘You’re dating your friend now?’
‘What?’ I asked, thrown by his medical assessment. I’d had no idea it was so bad.
‘You have his name tattooed on your hip.’
‘Oh God, I’d forgotten,’ I groaned, covering my face with my hands. ‘I was drunk and Quinn dragged me into the shop. I had no idea until the next day. Seriously, that survived the burns?’
‘Wrong side of your body, they’re all on the left.’
‘Great, Kitt will kill me if he finds out. And no, we’re not seeing each other. Still just very good friends,’ I added. As if on cue, I heard his voice frantically calling for me, and I hastily pulled my dress down to cover everything up. ‘Can he come in?’<
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‘I suppose so,’ Guy nodded, pulling back the curtain. Kitt raced to my side and pulled me up into a seated position as he hugged me tightly. I returned it, immediately feeling comforted to have him by my side. I felt my eyes stinging, and moments later, I was sobbing. I had no idea why. I hadn’t cried since that first day, when I’d been left alone not knowing what was happening in the hospital in Lanzarote. Why was I crying now?
‘God, I’ve been so worried,’ he murmured, stroking my hair before kissing the top of my head. ‘Are you ok?’
‘I am now … I’m home,’ I sighed, burying my face in his neck. Whenever Kitt was around, I felt calmed and at peace. He centred me. Why didn’t he make my heart race like Dr. Fitton did?
‘Can you give us some privacy please?’ I heard Kitt say, in a tone that sounded far more dominant and bossy than I’d ever heard him use.
‘I need to check on the transport for her anyway. I’ll be back shortly,’ Guy said. I heard his footsteps leaving and felt Kitt running a soothing hand up and down my back.
‘Deep breaths, Charlie, it’s going to be ok.’
‘I missed you, I missed Tibbs, and I miss my home. They’re sending me to Stoke, but I just want to go home. Please can you see if I can go home?’ I begged, dragging an arm across my face as he carefully pushed me back to lie against the pillows.
‘If he says you need to be admitted, you need to be admitted, Charlie. What about your parents, do they know?’
‘No,’ I sniffed, accepting a tissue he pulled out of the pocket of his jeans. ‘I didn’t want to scare them. Besides, I didn’t think it was that serious.’
‘It is from what Quinn tells me. Don’t worry, she’s safely back at Abbie’s being looked after, and Georgie’s still happy to look after Mrs. Tibbles until you’re home. Well, happy is maybe a slight exaggeration. She said she’s the spawn of Satan,’ he grinned, making me smile. ‘That’s better. I’m not used to seeing tearful Charlie. You’re usually so strong, seeing the humour in everything.’
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