by Alice Ward
As a nurse, I made a really terrific salary… if I lived anywhere but New York. As it was, my seven-hundred-fifty-square-foot apartment took up forty percent of my monthly salary. I’d already looked at two-bedroom apartments close to the hospital. If I wanted to eat, I couldn’t afford those. Bay Ridge was more affordable, but it was an hour-long train ride each way to work.
So, yes. I was desperately afraid of failing. The babies. Myself.
“Scarlett…” he said my name gently, “I’m familiar with that voice. We all have it. It’s like the worse nag in the world. And it’s mean, but it holds a higher purpose. It’s trying to protect us.”
I snorted. “Well, I wish that voice would stop it. It’s cruel. I say things to myself that I would never, ever say to another human being.”
He lifted his fingers to my lips. “Then I’ll need to say all the positive things I see in you loud enough to drown out that other voice.”
My heart squeezed at how sincere he looked. “That would be nice.”
He seemed surprised that I hadn’t pushed the idea away. “Do you know what I want?”
I searched his face. “What?”
“A dog, but my dad is, was, allergic. When I got older, I didn’t have time for a dog. Plus I traveled so much that it wasn’t fair to own one.”
I thought I understood. “Now that you’re in New York to take over your father’s practice, are you thinking about getting one?”
He nodded. “I know the babies are too young now, but I’d like them to have that kind of companion.” He swallowed, seeming to be uncertain again. “If that’s okay with you.”
“I love dogs. Where I grew up on a farm, there were animals everywhere. I miss them, but I don’t have space in my apartment.”
He turned my hand, tracing the lines with his finger. “I have room. I just had a wonderful carriage house remodeled. It’s three stories. The bottom floor is the living and kitchen space. The second floor is a master suite, and a couple other rooms, one being my office.” He met my eyes again. “The third floor has two bedrooms, two bathrooms, and an enormous space that I hadn’t really known what to do with. It could be a playroom.”
Was he asking me to move in with him?
“Langston…” I didn’t know what to say.
“Scarlett, I know it’s too soon. I know we barely know each other. I know there is nothing traditional about any of this, so why stop now? I don’t want you to have to do this on your own. I don’t want to be away from you and the babies. I want to be there.”
“This isn’t about what you want or don’t want,” I snapped and immediately felt guilty for my waspish tone when a hurt expression flashed across his face before he managed to erase it.
I was doing it again, pushing people way. Pushing him away.
He took a deep breath, but didn’t let go of my hand. I didn’t pull it away either. “You’re right, this isn’t about me. This space is available. I’m available.” He cursed under his breath. “No, I’m not just available. I’m here. Present and accountable. I want to be here.”
I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to prove that I could do this alone, but in the same breath, I didn’t want to do this alone.
“Can I think about it?” I asked tentatively.
He nodded. “Of course.” He began tracing the lines of my hand again. “Is it okay if I let my mother know she’s a grandmother? My grandparents would want to know they have a pair of greats to spoil too.”
My nose and throat clogged with emotion. A family. The babies could have a family.
“Don’t you want to wait for the results of the paternity test?”
“No.” There was no hesitation as he met my gaze.
It warmed me, this trust in me. “In that case, tell them whenever and however you want.”
“Thank you.” To my surprise, he reached out and placed a hand on my squishy, bloated stomach. “I didn’t get to see your belly grow round. I didn’t get to see the ultrasounds or hear the first heartbeat. By some crazy miracle, I witnessed the babies being born. Please give me a chance to witness everything else.”
This was the man of my dreams. Why was I even hesitating?
“Yes. Of course, I’ll give you the chance.” I couldn’t stop the tears. “I’m just scared.”
A smile played on his mouth, but his eyes were wet too. “Of vampires?”
I laughed, a sharp burst of sound, but the amusement didn’t last long. “Yes. The kind that suck the hope from your spirit, the love from your heart.”
“I don’t want to do any of that, and if it’s any help, I’m scared too.”
He was such a big man. Strong and solid. Successful and handsome. “Of what?”
“I don’t let people get close to me. In such a short time, you weren’t just close, it was like you were this serpent who had crawled under my skin. I could feel you there, even when I couldn’t see you.”
I attempted to break the crackling tension between us. “So, you’re a vampire and I’m a snake. I frankly don’t think our relationship stands a chance.”
One corner of his mouth lifted a little but that was all. “I’m Sampson and you’re Delilah, and you slayed me within moments of us meeting, held me captive to your charms.”
“I don’t want you slain. I don’t want to hold you captive.”
How could I make her understand something I didn’t yet understand myself?
“You did. You do. But it’s not how I thought it would be. I thought I’d fight the chains binding me to one person, one place. But they aren’t chains, Scarlett. They’re… roots.”
Roots. From our mutual trees of life.
“If your house was on fire and you could rescue one thing, humans or animals excluded, what would it be?”
He frowned a little at my sudden change of subject, then tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. He considered the question. And considered. And considered. “Can I get back to you on that? I honestly don’t know that I possess anything I couldn’t walk away from.” That was so very sad. “What about you?”
I already knew my answer. “Pictures of my parents and brother. I’m terrified that they’ll get destroyed one day, and they’ll be gone.”
His face was a mask of sympathy. “Will you tell me about them one day?”
I swallowed and met the eyes of the father of my children. “Yes.”
He caressed my cheek and leaned toward me, then seemed to catch himself. His gaze searched my face, examined every feature. “I want to know everything.”
I licked my lips. “Then know this. I want you to kiss me.”
His nostrils flared, passion bursting over his expression before he tucked it away. It felt like forever until his lips touched mine, warm and soft, familiar and so very missed. His hand sank into my hair, turning my head just enough that the angle changed and the kiss deepened. It was the most chaste kiss we had shared, but it still curled my toes.
He broke away, pressing his forehead to mine. “I’ve never loved kissing a woman so much.”
“I’ve never loved kissing a man so much.”
His phone pinged, but he ignored it and kissed me again.
“You do something to me, Scarlett. From that first moment, I felt it.”
“I felt it too. Feel it still.”
His lips pressed against my cheek. “I think we have something worth working toward.”
His phone pinged and I sighed, our foreheads pressing together again. “You better go.”
“Yes.” He didn’t move though, just kept his forehead against mine.
“It’s okay,” I promised. “I’ll be here when you get back.”
His look was intense. “And I will be back. I promise.”
I smiled. “You don’t have to keep saying that, you know?”
He broke the connection, dropped the hand from my hair. “Yes, I do. I’ll be back.”
I already missed him before he was out of the door.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Langst
on
The first gallbladder surgery went smoothly, the operating room staff competent and flexible as they grew to learn my preferences and surgical style. I actually found myself chuckling along with them as they talked about things. They were friends, or at least friendly with each other. I liked it there.
After the second surgery was done, I took a break, knowing I had about an hour before the next patient was due to arrive. I headed to the doctors’ lounge, hoping to find something decent to drink. I ended up getting a prewrapped sandwich too. I was starving.
Then I sank into a chair and took a first bite, grateful the room was empty. The silence gave me time to think without someone telling me how sorry they were about my father.
I stared at my phone, trying to summon the energy to pick it up and call my mother. When two doctors entered the lounge, I pushed to my feet and headed to the elevator. I’d make the call outside on this relatively cool spring day.
There was a bench that seemed to be waiting just for me, but I bypassed it and kept walking, needing to force the nervous energy from my cells.
Tapping Mom’s number, I frowned as her tired voice answered. “Langston, honey. It’s so good to hear from you.”
It had only been a couple days, but mothers were like that, always missing their children, no matter the age. I thought about the twins, about how badly I wished they were near me now. I guessed that instinct wasn’t only for the female version of parents.
“How are you feeling?”
“Better, sweetheart. Tired, but I think the shock of having lost him is fading away and I just feel numb.” She sniffed, her voice breaking at the end. “But Gran and Pops are wonderful and giving me good company. Just the distraction I need.”
Well, there was an opening if I’d ever seen one.
“Mom, speaking of distractions, I have some news, but I’m not sure how you’ll feel about it.”
Worry sharpened her tone. “What is it? What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Sick? Are you—”
“No. None of that. I’m perfectly healthy, I promise.”
I almost felt her sag with relief. “Then what is it?”
How did I break this news?
“Remember the night I left for Nigeria?”
“Well, of course I do. It was one of the most stressful days of my life.”
Yeah, she just had to stab me with a prick of mother’s guilt. I didn’t let it distract me from my purpose though and plunged ahead.
“After I left the party, I ended up getting a drink.” I thought it was best to leave out the part about Josh and I attending opening night of an erotica club first. “I met a woman there. She spent the night with me. She was, um, special. Very special. But since I was leaving, I didn’t get her number. I left her mine instead.”
Mom snorted, and I could almost hear her thinking typical man in her head. “And…?”
“I never heard from her, so I wrote it off as me being the more interested one, but yesterday, I was called to fill in at St. Mary’s Hospital. There was a widespread food poisoning among the medical staff and they needed immediate backup.”
“And you found the girl?” Mom guessed, her voice pitched high with interest.
“Yes.”
“Is she a doctor there?”
“No, she’s a nurse.”
“And you found her, just like that?” Mom sighed, and I could tell she was already planning a wedding in her head. My mom was a romantic of the worst kind.
“Yes, I found her, but not just like that.”
There were a few beats of silence as she attempted to puzzle that out. “What do you mean?”
“I was sent to the labor and delivery floor. There was a laboring mother who might need a caesarian, so they needed me there in case anything went wrong.”
“Oh my.”
In addition to being a romantic, my mother was smart, and I could hear her mind shuffling the pieces of the puzzle together.
“Yes. The patient was Scarlett. She was having a baby. My baby.”
“Oh. My. Wow. I think I need to sit down.”
“Are you sitting?” I should have asked that before I even started this conversation.
“Yes.” Her voice was weak but also something else… excited?
“Mom. I didn’t just deliver my own child. I delivered two children. A boy and a girl. I’m a father of twins. You’re the grandmother of twins. Surprise.”
The silence stretched long enough that I glanced at the phone to make sure the call hadn’t disconnected. I couldn’t even hear her breathing.
“Mom?”
“Yes. Yes, I’m here. I’m just… well, I just… I…”
I smiled and scratched at the scruff on my chin. “Yeah. I remember feeling the same way.”
“Langston…” her voice was breathless, “I know this will sound insensitive, but I have to ask. You don’t know this woman that you met in a bar. Are you sure they’re yours?”
“Yes. They’re mine.” They had to be. “We’ll have the results of the paternity test soon, sometime today, but I know they belong to me.”
She exhaled a long breath. “And yet you told me before the results arrived?” It sounded like she said it more to herself than me. “That must mean something.”
“They’re mine, Mom. Just like I can’t explain how I ended up in her delivery room at the exact right time, I can’t explain how I know, but I know.”
She sniffed, and I could hear the emotion taking her over. “I’m so… I can’t believe it. Are they healthy? Is Scarlett, did you say her name was, healthy? Are you okay?” With the questions, she was regaining some of her composure.
“Yes. Both babies are perfect. Scarlett is perfect.”
Mom sighed, the eternal romantic side of her coming to the surface. “What’s their names?”
“Sofi Elizabeth and Samuel Joseph.”
Mom gasped and began to cry for real. “Oh, Langston. It’s perfect. I’m on my way. I want to see them.”
I knew better than to argue. “I’ll text you the address. There’s a code you’ll have to give the staff to get through the door. I’ll text that too.”
In the background, her shoes were clicking on the wood floors. “I’m bringing Gran and Pops too.”
I laughed. “Okay. I have another surgery in a few minutes. I’ll be there by four at the latest.”
“Four? That’s good. That gives me time to go shopping. Oh, Langston. I’m a grandmother. I had always hoped you’d settle down, but I didn’t think you would. I have so much to do!”
I chuckled into the phone, relieved that she was taking this so well. “Don’t go overboard, okay?”
“Overboard? Me?” She laughed, and I groaned. “We’ll need to call the decorator. Oh! The third floor of the carriage house will be perfect!”
“Mom—”
“We’ll have bookshelves installed for all the books I’ll be reading to them. Is there room for a nanny? Does Scarlett want a nanny? If she does, we’ll use that extra space in the back to build a third room and private bath.”
“Mom—”
“I’ll call the contractor and have them increase the security system. Cameras inside and out. We’ll replace the fence with a taller one, maybe razor wire at the top.”
“Mom—”
“Oh, the backyard is small, but we can make it work. I can just picture a little swing. We can build a playhouse. Sofi and I can have tea parties there. Samuel and I can—”
“Mom—!”
“What?”
I softened my voice. “Scarlett and I still have a great deal to work out before—”
“Pish posh.” I had never, ever in my entire life heard her say that. “Of course you’ll work it out, don’t be silly.”
“Mom, it’s complicated.”
“Then uncomplicate it. Can’t you see this was just meant to work out? Don’t fight it or try to answer all the questions. Enjoy, my baby boy. Don’t overanalyze it. Just hold it with both hands and never let it go.”<
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I sighed, surrendering to her happiness. “I will, but right now, I have to go scrub up. I’ll see you later this afternoon.”
“Yes! I’ll be the one with a big smile on her face.”
That made me smile too. “I love you, Mom.”
“Darling, I love you too. If only your father was here to see this.” Her voice grew quiet again and there was a soft laugh. “Of course, he’s probably smiling down from the heavens.”
“Yes. I miss him too.”
“See you later, baby boy.”
“Bye, Granny.”
She gasped. “I will not be called that.”
I laughed. “See you soon.”
I was still chuckling to myself as I walked back into the hospital, texting Scarlett to let her know I had only the one surgery left.
She replied quickly: Take your time. All is well here. Another text followed with a picture of the babies in her lap.
I replied: I wish I was with you.
I stashed the phone in my locker and scrubbed my hands and arms under warm water, but I was also going through my mental checklist.
Mom had good ideas about the nursery, fence, and security cameras. I’d ask Scarlett about a nanny. Nothing full time, but someone who could help out as needed. Should I hire protection too? As a wealthy man, my children would be easy targets for anyone hoping to make a quick buck.
That thought led to a trail of anxiety crawling down my spine. I’d never worried about my own protection, but when I was small, a hired bodyguard followed me and Mom everywhere. It wasn’t until I was a teen that I’d rejected the security, but of course by then, I was in a private, gated school with other rich kids. I was probably safer there than I’d ever known.
As I began the colon surgery, I forced all those thoughts and worries from my mind. For now.
When I was finished with the surgery, I would call the decorator and have her start making plans for the third floor. I’d call my attorney and have him immediately change my will. I’d talk to the contractor about a new fence. A security consultant about protection, increasing my security system, and maybe adding a safe room to the house.
Whatever it took, I’d keep my children safe. Comfortable.
Whatever it took, I’d make Scarlett fall in love with me. Want to live with me. Marry me.