by Alice Ward
Standing in Talen’s living room, I lost myself in my art. Soon, the canvas came alive with colors and emotions. I painted for hours, not thinking about anything outside the four edges of the canvas. My head never felt clearer, and my entire body felt relaxed. It wasn’t until I was done that I realized I’d painted Talen.
I took a step back and blinked. I could barely breathe. My surprise was so strong, I almost dropped my paintbrush. I took in the details of the painting. My first instinct was to be embarrassed, but that was quickly replaced by intrigue. I moved closer to my painting again, analyzing each brushstroke. It was a truly beautiful piece. One of my best. Still, I couldn’t believe I’d painted Talen without realizing it. I tried to tell myself it didn’t mean anything, but I wasn’t sure.
When my phone rang, I jumped and hurried toward it.
“Hello?”
“Hey, it’s me,” Madison’s voice rang out. “What are you doing right now?”
“Just finished painting,” I said, glancing at the piece again. “What’s up?”
“You at home?”
“No. I’m at Talen’s.”
“Ooh,” Madison said with excitement. “Can I come over?!”
I laughed. “I guess. I’ll text you the address.”
“Be there soon.”
As I set my phone back down, my attention immediately returned to the painting on my easel. I didn’t know what it meant, but I knew that I needed to hide it before Talen got home. Or before Madison came over. The last thing I needed was for someone else to see what I’d done. They would surely read something into it, something deep.
I carefully carried the painting to the guest room and set it on the desk. The paint would dry quickly, so I wasn’t worried about smudges, but I was still hesitant to cover it. I left it there, hoping Talen wouldn’t venture into the guest room before I could hide it more carefully.
Just as I stepped back into the living room, there was a knock on the door. I smiled and opened it, knowing it would be Madison. When she stepped inside, her eyes traveled over the living room. “Holy shit. Can I marry him?”
“Sure. After our divorce is finalized.”
“When will that be again?” Madison teased.
“You’re hilarious.” I batted my eyelashes. “Besides, marrying someone for their money is tacky. We’re above that.”
“Are we? Because this place is fucking amazing, Dani.”
I laughed and looked around again, seeing it through her eyes as well as my own. “I know. It really is. I’m still not used to it.”
“I don’t blame you,” she said. She walked around the living room, taking in everything around her. When her eyes landed on my easel, she looked back at me suspiciously. “You brought your art supplies over here?”
“Actually, Talen did that. He surprised me with it this morning.”
“He did what?” Madison asked. I opened my mouth to speak, but she cut me off. “On second thought, go get dressed.”
“Why?”
She waved her fingers at me. “We’re getting mani-pedis. Your nails always look like shit, and—” Her eyes dropped to my hands and she squealed. “Oh my god. Look at that rock.” She grabbed my hand and pulled the engagement ring up for a closer inspection. “Wow.”
It really was beautiful. “It’s just for—”
Maddy dropped my hand. “You can fill me in at the salon. Go get dressed.”
I gave her a little salute. “Yes, ma’am.”
***
I sank my feet into the pedicure tub and leaned back. My eyes closed automatically while the manicurist began her work on my fingernails. It felt wonderful to sit back and be pampered. Immediately, all my stress melted from my body, and I felt more relaxed than I had in months. Everything with my mother, money, and now Talen, had been wearing on my body without me even realizing it. I needed a break from it all.
“So,” Madison said, snapping me back to reality. I opened my eyes and turned my head toward her. “Tell me everything.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Start with the art supplies and go from there,” she demanded. “I feel like I’ve missed so much.”
“You haven’t missed anything,” I said with a soft laugh. “I just woke up this morning and found all my stuff in the living room. It was a wonderful surprise. I’ve been really worried about my art suffering while I’m staying at Talen’s, and this way, I don’t have to stress about it anymore. I can paint whenever I want to.”
“That’s great,” Madison said with a nod. “But that’s not exactly what I meant.”
“What did you mean then?”
“You slept with this guy,” Madison said bluntly. I rolled my eyes. Sometimes her bold nature was disconcerting. In that moment, I wanted to focus on relaxing. I didn’t want to spend any time analyzing my confusing relationship with Talen Gaston.
“Yeah, we slept together,” I admitted. “But that’s not why he brought my supplies over.”
“It’s not?” Madison asked skeptically.
“No. He was just being nice. He knew I was worried so he was being a good friend.”
She cocked a brow. “Don’t you mean husband?”
“Friend,” I snapped. “Just friends. That’s all.”
“Technically, he is your husband,” Madison argued. She was right. I couldn’t fight her on that. Talen was my husband, no matter how I tried to spin it. Still, I didn’t like the insinuation in her voice.
“What are you trying to say?” I asked, trying and failing to keep the annoyance out of my tone.
“I think you have feelings for him,” Madison said, staring into my eyes boldly. I wanted to look away, but I couldn’t. It felt like I would be agreeing with her if I did, which I wasn’t ready to do.
“Madison, that’s insane,” I said. “Why on Earth would I have feelings for someone like Talen Gaston?”
“Because he’s handsome,” Madison said simply. “And rich. And sexy. And he’s clearly being sweet to you. Hence, bringing over your art supplies as a special surprise and putting a ginormous ring on it. It would make total sense that you would fall for him. Trust me, I don’t blame you.”
“I am not falling for him,” I said firmly. More to myself than to her. “I’ll admit that he isn’t a dick like I once thought. At least, not all the time. Sometimes, he can be very kind and generous. I do like him as a person, but that’s all there is between us. We’re becoming friends, and I’m glad. It would be impossible to keep up this marriage sham if I hated him.”
“Which you don’t,” Madison said.
“No, I don’t.” I sighed. “I don’t hate him.”
“Exactly. Because you have feelings for him.”
“Oh my god,” I said, throwing my head back against the seat. “You’re impossible.”
She shrugged. “I just call it like I see it. And I think you need to be careful.”
“Careful of what?”
“Him. Talen. This whole situation is crazy. I don’t even know how you’re putting up with all of it, but I admire your determination. I sure as hell couldn’t do it. Still, you can’t fall in love with him, Dani. You just can’t.”
“Trust me, I won’t,” I promised.
“Whatever you say,” Madison said with another shrug. “I’m just saying, watch out for yourself. You could end up getting really hurt by all this. Like, heartbroken hurt.”
I opened my mouth to argue but quickly closed it again. No matter what I said, Madison wouldn’t believe me. She had it in her mind that I was falling for Talen. She wouldn’t hear anything to the contrary, and I wasn’t going to argue my point any further.
She was right about one thing though, falling for Talen wasn’t an option. Not only would it complicate our arrangement, but it would open up a door that neither one of us wanted open. Casual sex was one thing. Love was something else entirely. I knew that developing feelings for Talen wasn’t something I could afford to do. Madison didn’t need to tell me that.
I thought about that painting for the rest of the day. I couldn’t get it off my mind. No matter how hard I tried, I pictured it in my mind’s eye over and over again.
And I couldn’t help but wonder… what did it mean?
CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE
Talen
I woke up on Sunday morning to a soft knock on my bedroom door. Still half asleep, I stumbled across the room to find Dani standing in the doorway with a shy smile on her face. She glanced behind me at my still messy bed, then turned around and looked toward the kitchen nervously.
“I made a little breakfast,” she said, her fingers twisting together. “Just muffins and stuff. If you’re interested.”
She was beautiful when she was nervous.
“Sure. I’ll be out in a second.”
Dani nodded and turned around while I grabbed a robe. I could’ve eaten breakfast in just my boxers. Dani had already seen me completely naked so it wouldn’t have been awkward, but I felt more comfortable like this. The boundaries between Dani and I were already blurred to the point of almost being nonexistent. I didn’t want to make things even more confusing for either of us.
Yawning, I sat down at the kitchen table and looked at the food in front of me. Dani had downplayed breakfast quite a bit. She hadn’t only made muffins, but eggs and bacon as well. Plus, she made freshly squeezed orange juice and coffee. I was impressed.
“What?” she asked when she noticed me staring at her.
I swept a hand over the table. “You didn’t have to do all this.”
“Oh, don’t worry, it wasn’t for you,” she said with a grin. “I just really like to cook.”
“I can see that,” I said, laughing. “How long have you been up?”
She shrugged. “About an hour. I couldn’t sleep.”
I watched her face for a few seconds. She seemed to be hiding something, but I couldn’t tell what it was. When she said she couldn’t sleep, there was something in her voice that made me wonder if she was okay. She didn’t look upset, but I didn’t know her well enough to be sure. I thought about asking her, but I remembered our much needed boundaries, and I stopped myself. Instead, I grabbed a muffin and began to eat.
The muffins were blueberry and beyond amazing. I groaned when I took the first bite, and Dani laughed. When I finished it, I ate two more.
“I take it you like the muffins?” Dani teased.
I gave her a serious look. “These are honestly the best muffins I’ve ever had.”
“Thank you. It’s my mother’s recipe.”
“Well, tell your mother thank you for me,” I said, grabbing another. “Because holy shit.”
Dani laughed and popped a piece of bacon in her mouth. We continued to eat in silence, neither of us wanting to interrupt the other while we ate, although I found myself looking at her often. She was still in her pajamas, and her hair was tied back in a messy ponytail. She wore no makeup, and her eyes were still slightly red from lack of sleep. I couldn’t help but think how beautiful she was. Even though I’d seen her dressed up, I knew I preferred her this way. She looked comfortable and at peace.
“So, have you really never had a girlfriend?” Dani asked.
I swallowed hard, surprised by her bold question. “Not really. Why do you ask?”
She shrugged. “I was just curious. When your mom said it the other day, I almost didn’t believe her.”
“Honestly, I’ve never really seen the point. Women are usually only after one thing. Money.”
“That’s not true,” Dani said, pointing a piece of bacon at me. “At least, not all women are like that.”
“All the women I’ve met,” I argued. “Plus, when you’re in a relationship with someone, they tend to nag you. I get enough of that from my father.”
“You do,” Dani agreed. “But again, not all women are like that. Do you really want to write them all off because of a few?”
“It’s worked pretty well for me so far,” I said with a shrug. I knew I sounded like an ass, but I refused to lie to her. Dani had made it this far on honesty. Our arrangement was a delicate one. I didn’t want to upset it by lying to her now.
Relationships always seemed like too much work to me. I never saw the point in spending all day, every day with another person. Even without trying it, I knew I would get annoyed. Instead of putting myself through that, I chose to avoid it altogether. I watched my friends go from girlfriend to girlfriend, and it almost never ended well. Someone was hurt or angry. Someone would yell or cry. It seemed like way too much drama to me.
“How’s your painting going?” I asked, changing the subject abruptly. “Is this new arrangement working out okay?”
“It is.” Dani nodded, giving me a bright smile. “Thank you again. It’s been a huge help. I did a couple new pieces yesterday, so hopefully, I’ll be ready for my next show.”
“When is it?” I asked.
She licked her lips and toyed with her muffin. “The Friday after the investors’ meeting. You’re welcome to come if you want to. It won’t be anything fancy, but they’re usually pretty fun. You don’t have to, but if you want.”
“Maybe,” I said, not liking the way my chest ached at the thought that Dani and I would be starting annulment proceedings by then. “I don’t want to promise just in case I don’t make it, but we’ll see.”
I really thought about going. Knowing Dani, her work would be exceptional, and I would have loved to see it. Still, I knew the damage a broken promise could create. After years of being disappointed by my father, I swore to myself that I would never make a promise I couldn’t keep. Luckily, I never had. I wasn’t about to start now and especially not with someone like Dani. She was too important to disappoint.
“I actually really appreciate that,” Dani said, and I could tell she meant it. “My ex-boyfriend used to swear up and down that he would be at my shows, but he never was. In the five years we were together, he only made it to like five of them.”
“Five?” I asked. “That’s it?”
“Yeah.” Dani nodded. “In college, he was better about showing up, but after graduation, things just went downhill. He started working out of town all the time, and eventually, he met someone else. That’s why we broke up. He met some other woman and decided she was better than me.”
“I remember you mentioning that when we met.” I still didn’t remember much about that night, but I knew Dani had mentioned a deadbeat ex-boyfriend. “He sounds like an ass.”
“He is,” Dani agreed. “I just never saw it before. I always found excuses for his behavior. I just thought he was too busy or maybe he didn’t think I was talented enough to waste his time. The truth was that he just didn’t care anymore. I’m not sure he ever really did.”
I dropped my chin into my hand, genuinely curious. “Why do you say that?” Five years was a long time to be with someone. Even with my cynicism, I couldn’t imagine someone sticking around for that long if they didn’t care.
Dani shrugged. “Just little things. Like the fact that he never wanted to visit my mother. We were together five years, and he always made excuses not to see her. She lived so close, and yet, he just couldn’t be bothered. Even after she got sick, he just—”
“Sick?” I asked. “I didn’t know your mother was sick.”
She looked like a deer caught in headlights. She obviously hadn’t meant to say that part out loud. “Um, yeah. Early onset dementia.”
“Oh, shit. I’m so sorry.” We were currently in the research phase for a new drug to treat dementia, so I’d done a great deal of reading on the subject. As sorry as I’d felt for the patient, I felt even more so for the family members being slowly for
gotten by the person they loved.
“It’s okay,” she said, although it clearly wasn’t okay. “Perry knew how much she means to me and how difficult her diagnosis has been, but he never cared one way or the other. There were other things too. Like, he always promised we would take a trip to the Grand Canyon, and we never did. I’m twenty-five years old. I’ve lived here my whole life, and I’ve never seen it. Not even once.”
“Are you serious?” I wanted to ask more about her mom, but I could tell she wasn’t up for discussing it. Instead, I jumped on the Grand Canyon topic. “How is that even possible?”
“I know.” Dani laughed. “It’s ridiculous.”
I just shook my head. “That’s crazy.”
“That was Perry,” Dani said and shrugged again. “He was always talking about these big, grand plans, but they never came to fruition. I guess I should have seen it coming, you know? He was always gone, always uninterested in my life. I was stupid to stick around as long as I did.”
Hearing Dani talk about her ex-boyfriend made me uncomfortable. I couldn’t pinpoint what it was, but something about it bothered me. There wasn’t anything I could do to take away her pain, but I wished I could. From the look in her eyes, I could tell it still really hurt her to think about him.
“He seems like an idiot,” I said. “You’re better off without him.”
“I know.” She met my eyes. “I do. It just sucks that I wasted all that time on him, you know?”
“Yeah.”
I wanted to say more, but my stomach was clenched tightly, and I didn’t think I could. The more we talked about Perry, the more jealous I became. As anger soon followed, I didn’t know what was going on with me. I was livid with this Perry guy for treating Dani badly, but I was angrier with myself for caring. Dani and I weren’t together. Our marriage was nothing more than a business arrangement, and yet, here I was, feeling the green haze of jealousy mask my thoughts.