Sally had gotten there first, and was comforting the child even as Caroline entered the room, Tommy on her heels. As usual, the children all hurried to his side. When Jamie saw Caroline beside the bed, though, he burst into tears and flung himself into her arms. She held him tightly, stroking his hair. “Shhh, darling. It’s all right. It was only a dream.”
“N-no. It w-was one of…those dreams. You’re alive. I can’t believe you’re alive.” He clutched her tighter and sobbed into her shoulders.
“Well, everyone else should probably head back to bed, eh?”
Caroline turned to see Merrick silhouetted in the door, shirtsleeves rolled up, coat and waistcoat absent altogether.
“Piers can come sleep in my room,” Tommy offered. “Then you can bring Jamie in later. He’ll sleep better if we’re all together, like before.”
“Thank you, Tommy.” Caroline smiled at the young man, then nodded to Piers. “You heard him—off you go. Girls, you too. Back to bed.”
As Jamie’s sobs eased, the other children slipped out, prodded by Sally who discreetly closed the door behind her and the girls. Merrick perched on the iron rail at the foot of the bed, just inches from where Caroline sat on the mattress with Jamie in her lap. When the big man awkwardly eased out a hand to pat the boy’s shoulder and utter, “There, there, lad,” Caroline’s heart crumbled completely. How had she ever thought she stood a chance of resisting him?
For now, though, Jamie was what mattered. When his wrenching sobs dissolved into hiccups and sniffles, Merrick handed her a large white handkerchief, which she used to wipe Jamie’s eyes and convinced him to blow his nose. After a few more moments and a glass of water, he was still pale and frightened, but settled enough to speak.
“Would you like to tell us about the dream, Jamie?” Caroline settled back against the wrought iron bedstead, still holding him close.
“It was the k-kind that come t-true.” He sniffled and looked from Caroline to Merrick with his blue eyes wide and still damp. “The vampyres, they k-killed you. Both of you. Then w-we were all alone again.”
“Were we in the carriage when it happened?” Merrick asked.
Jamie nodded against Caroline’s chest.
“Then it might already have happened, rather than being of the future. We were attacked tonight, but we won, Jamie. The vampyres are gone, and Miss Caro and I survived.” Merrick’s tone was as gentle as Caroline had ever heard it, though his rigid posture still gave evidence of his awkwardness about actually caring for these children.
“R-really?” The boy looked hopefully up at Caroline. “Did you have on a pink dress with flowers on it?”
“No, it was green. But it’s hard to tell color in a dream, isn’t it?” Though she had ordered one in a soft pink with a pattern of darker pink roses on the skirts. A chill ran down her spine.
Jamie shook his head. “No. It will happen again. And you’ll be gone.”
Caroline hugged him tightly. “I promise you, we will be very, very careful. Your dreams are warnings, aren’t they? That means if we’re cautious, we can prevent the bad things from happening—that’s what Wink told me.”
He sighed and shook his head dubiously. “Grown-ups never listen.”
“That’s what happened to your mum, right?” Caroline didn’t like to bring back bad memories, but Jamie so obviously needed to let it out. “She wouldn’t listen, and she died?”
Jamie nodded. “Said such things were talk of the Devil.” He looked up at Caroline. “I’m not bad, am I? I try to be good, but the dreams still come.”
Merrick moved closer, until he could look Jamie right in the eye. “Your dreams aren’t bad, Jamie. They’re a gift—a gift from fate, or God, if you like. They’re meant to help, not harm. Miss Caro and I will be very cautious about driving at night, now that you’ve warned us. You did a good thing, son.”
His little shoulders heaved a sigh of relief. “Thank you, sir. I don’t know what we’d do if something happened to you two.”
“You’d still have Miss Dorothy,” Caroline reminded him. “And Mr. Berry. He is an honorable man, though I know you don’t care for him. Why, even Mr. MacKay would probably come around to help out.”
Jamie shuddered. “Not him. Don’t like him.”
“Really? I thought he was very kind to bring around candy for all of you when we were all feeling low.” Gideon had been a regular visitor after Caroline and the girls had been attacked, and he had, indeed, brought treats for all the children. Caroline had no idea that they hadn’t taken a shine to the pleasant young man. Perhaps it was because they wanted Merrick and Caroline together—that would give them a far greater sense of security. Of course. It was the only answer that made sense.
“He’s asleep,” Merrick murmured a few moments later, before anyone had thought of anything else to say. “I’ll carry him over to Tommy’s room, then if you have a minute, I think we need to discuss this.”
“Of course.” She handed the sleeping child—he really was out like a light, even after just a few seconds—into Merrick’s arms, and drew on her wrapper as she stood. “Let me get the door for you.”
Tommy was in the middle of the double bed in his room, reading silently while Piers snored quietly on one side of him. Once Merrick laid Jamie in the empty spot, Tommy pulled the covers up and laid his book aside. “Thank you, sir, miss. Good night.”
“You’re a good big brother, Tommy,” Caroline said. “Good night.” With that, she followed Merrick from the room. To her surprise, he didn’t take her to the sitting room where they’d talked before. Instead, he walked right into her bedroom and settled himself in the easy chair by the window.
At a complete loss, Caroline closed the door behind her and pulled the small desk chair over so she could sit facing Merrick, their knees mere inches apart.
He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. “One of the things I promised when the children agreed to come here was that no one would beat them. You see, then, how your teaching methods, unorthodox though they may be, were a godsend. And even Edwin has been made completely clear regarding that issue—you have my word on that. Another promise I made was that if something ever happened to me, they’d still be taken care of. It occurs to me I’ve been very lax in addressing that issue.” He looked so tired—more so than Caroline had ever seen him.
She laid one hand on his knee. “Well, in your defense, it’s only been a couple of weeks. And surely, you know your aunt would see to them in an emergency. She won’t admit it, but she quite dotes on them already.”
“Of course she would, but that’s where we have trouble with the law. According to the courts, a woman may not be named guardian of a minor. Not even the child’s mother, sad to say. So my aunt would have no legal standing. Likewise, I can’t leave them in your care—the other obvious choice.”
Her? He thought she was an obvious choice? Caroline could do little more than blink in stunned silence.
“Edwin would be another possibility, of course, and I’d have no qualms leaving Tom under his guardianship, but he hasn’t any patience with the younger boys, and definitely not the girls.”
“No—I can’t see that being a comfortable arrangement for anyone.” Though Berry seemed to be an adequate teacher for Tommy, Caroline still didn’t like the man.
Merrick nodded grimly. “Thus ends another option. I had thought perhaps Sir William MacKay—but he’s not a young man. Perhaps his older son Fergus—you haven’t met him, but he’s a good, honorable man, and a close friend of mine. The problem is, he’s a Knight as well, and spends most of his time in Edinburgh. For a while I was thinking Gideon might be a possibility, but if the children don’t like him, then no. Honestly, I also think he’s still too young and busy sowing his wild oats.”
“Really?” Caroline wondered at the frown on Merrick’s face. Did he not like Gideon either? How odd. “I hadn’t gotten that impression from him, but you’re right, he is quite young. Still, it seems to me you have a more simple sol
ution than you realize.”
“I do?” He lifted one eyebrow in that way she had already begun to love.
“Of course. You talk to Sir William, and possibly to his elder son. You explain that while one of them would be the children’s legal guardian and financial trustee, your wish is that they remain with Dorothy, and a staff of her choosing. I believe Sir William would honor such a promise, don’t you?”
He smiled and laughed. “Of course he would. Thank you, for being able to see the forest instead of just the trees. You’re right. As long as England must maintain such arbitrary laws, that is the best possible solution. Hadrian House is entailed, and goes with the title, and the estate, of course, but the money is mostly my own, so I’ll be able to leave them well set up. Dorothy is already independently wealthy—she’s actually quite a wizard with investments.”
“Well, then, you see? A quick visit with your solicitor, a chat with Sir William, and all will be well.” She patted his knee. “Thank you, though, for asking my opinion. That you trust me to that degree means a great deal.”
Merrick reached down and took both her hands in his. “If anything, you’re the one who trusts too easily. Caro, I want you to know that I’ve never, not once in my life, taken advantage of a female in my employ.”
“Of course you haven’t.” She smiled at him, memorizing every line of his face, so that one day, when she didn’t have him to look at anymore, she’d be able to remember each detail.
“But I’ve come close with you—twice. And I think I’m about to kiss you again.”
“Well, that’s not taking advantage now is it?” She leaned forward and dropped a soft peck on his lips. “Not if I kiss you first.” Every bit of her skin felt charged as if with electricity, and she was excruciatingly conscious of the bed only a few feet away.
“Caro, be very, very sure. This isn’t a thing that can be undone.” He squeezed her hands tightly and the cords of his neck grew taut with strain. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
That made her smile. “I’m told it always does the first time—but that it improves with practice.”
“True, but that’s not what I meant.” His lips twitched into a grin. “And I think you know that.”
She did. “I’m not asking for a lifetime, Merrick. I’m asking for tonight.” Caroline wouldn’t say no to forever, but she knew it was never going to happen—not for someone like her. This night, however, and perhaps a few more, would be hers.
She stood and untied the sash on her dressing gown before dropping the wrapper to the floor. One by one, she began to unfasten the small bone buttons at the neck of her nightgown.
Merrick’s chest expanded as she watched him suck in a deep breath and lean back in his chair. He watched her with hooded eyes. Without taking his gaze off her, he unbuttoned his shirt, pulled the tails free of the waistband of his trousers and shrugged out of the shirt and braces. Lord, he was magnificent—broad and dark, with fine whorls of hair on his chest and in a narrow line that bisected his abdomen before disappearing into his trousers.
Caroline’s nightgown now gaped nearly to her navel, and with one more deep breath, she shifted her shoulders again, pulling her arms free of the voluminous sleeves. With a little shimmy she let the fine cotton lawn drop to pool around her feet.
“Caro.” Merrick’s hands clenched hard on the arms of his chair. “Come here.”
There was almost no room between them as it was, so she stepped between his knees, moving up to lay her hands on his now-bare shoulders.
“Stand right there and take your hair down,” he murmured. Her breasts were level with his face, but he leaned back and tilted his head upward to look her in the eyes. “I’ve seen it up and braided, but never down. Something tells me no man ever has, not since you were a child. Am I right?”
Caroline licked her lips and nodded. She stood there, stark naked. He was looking at her nude breasts, for heaven’s sake, and he wanted to talk about no man ever seeing her hair? She’d never understand males, not if she lived to be a thousand. Still, she did as he asked, pulling out the few pins that held her hair in a haphazard knot, which had tilted precariously to one side since her bath, with a number of tresses already hanging loose.
He reached out and tangled one hand in a long strand of her hair. “Ah, it’s as glorious as I’d imagined. It’s a primitive thing, a man’s pleasure in being the first. On a rational level, it makes no sense at all.” His words seemed calm as he watched her, but his raspy, deep voice belied his seeming indifference. “One would think, after all, that a degree of experience might actually be useful. But innocence appeals to the baser instincts, somehow. I consider myself a very fortunate man at this moment, Caro. Luckier than I deserve.” With that, he placed his hands on her hips and pulled her forward. Leaning in himself, he placed gentle kisses on the swell of each breast.
“Oh.” Off balance, she swayed a little, until he steadied her by shifting his hands around, until one cupped each globe of her bottom. Her eyes flew open at the intimate touch—somehow almost more so than the other night when he’d caressed her to orgasm.
“If we do this,” he said, his lips trailing across her collarbones. “It won’t be sedate, or ladylike or tidy. Sex is a hot, sweaty, messy business, at least when done properly. Normally, I’d add loud, but since there are children next door and across the hall, we’ll have to keep things quiet. Are you prepared for that, Caro?”
“Yes.” She didn’t even have to think about it. She wanted anything and everything he had to offer. Rather than wait for him to take the next step, she sat down on one of his thighs so she could reach his mouth, and kissed him, letting all her desire, all her pent-up passion show in the hungry movement of her lips against his. When he opened his mouth, she continued to seize control, sliding her tongue into the hot, wet cavern and boldly exploring all the shapes and textures of him.
While Caroline was controlling the kiss, she had no illusions that she actually controlled anything else. Merrick’s hands were everywhere, slipping along her skin to cup, caress and massage sensitive points she hadn’t even been aware she possessed. The crook of her elbow, the dip of her waist, the nape of her neck all came alive at his touch.
One of her hands cupped his cheek, loving the rough stubble of his beard, while her other trailed across his broad shoulders and down to tangle in the curls on his chest. When she skimmed her fingertip across the rough surface of his flat nipple, he moaned into her mouth and took back control of the kiss, his tongue licking along hers, as his hand clamped around her breast, far less gently than before.
Her nipples were beaded into tight, achy knots and she rubbed against his callused palm, remembering the pleasure he’d given her with his hands and mouth.
As if sensing her need, he pulled his lips from hers and lowered them to her breast. First licking, then swirling his tongue around the taut bud, he laved her eagerly. Caroline tipped her head back, arching her spine to give him better access.
“We need more space.” He blew on her damp nipple, making her shiver. Then he stood, lifting her easily in his arms as if she weighed nothing, despite her more-than-generous curves. Adding to her shock, he held her with one arm while he pulled back the coverlet with the other before laying her down against the cool cotton sheets.
“You’re beautiful, Caro. I hope you know that.” His voice was thick with need. He stood beside the bed and reached for the buttons on his woolen trousers.
Caroline’s eyes were instantly drawn to the impressive bulge beneath his hand. While she knew, intellectually, what occurred during intercourse, she spared a second to wonder at the mechanics—and the feasibility—of it. Then he dropped his trousers and shoved his knit linen drawers down over his thighs and she couldn’t think about anything other than his sheer physical beauty.
He wasn’t perfect. Scars, some red, some white, crisscrossed his skin, and one fresh bandage showed where he must have sustained a minor wound just above the elbow that evening. He was bulkier,
stronger than was considered elegant or fashionable, and his features were too craggy and rough to be classically handsome. Still, in her eyes, he was the ideal specimen of all things masculine. Her gaze traveled down to his groin, where his erection, thick, dark and heavily veined, jutted out from a nest of coarse black curls. She licked her lips again as all the moisture left her mouth—and pooled between her legs, no doubt. Her core felt swollen, almost painful, and she squeezed her thighs together in a vain attempt to ease the ache.
Merrick reached down and tugged off his socks and shoes, but he never turned his gaze from her body. Caroline could feel it along her skin, warm, like a touch. Goose bumps rose along her arms and legs. When Merrick put one knee on the bed, she scooted to the side, making room for him on the mattress.
“Still sure?” His tone, while husky with his obvious arousal, took on a teasing note, as if he knew she was determined to press ahead.
“Certain.” She reached out toward him as he came down beside her. “As long as—Merrick, we need to be careful. We can’t risk a child.”
“Of course.” He reached down beside the bed for his trousers, and pulled a small paper packet from the front pocket. “It’s a mark of how insane I am over you that I’ve taken to carrying one of these after last night in my study.” After opening the packet, he took out a small, white disc, which he rolled out into a sheath over his erect penis, tying it off with a small bow at the base of his shaft. A prophylactic—something else she’d only ever read about.
“Thank you.” It was all she could say before he kissed her again, long, deep and druggingly sweet. His arms came around her and dragged her close, until the crisp hairs on his chest abraded her sensitive nipples. Needing more, she rubbed against him as their lips tangled, pressing her belly into the firm length of his erection.
Merrick rolled her until she was on her back, with him poised above her. Without her conscious volition, her legs splayed, cradling his between them. The tip of his erection nudged at her entrance.
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