by Rosie Clarke
‘Yes, he would,’ I agreed. ‘Why didn’t you ask me for the money? You know I would have helped you, Sheila.’
‘I don’t like begging,’ she said, a look of shame showing briefly in her eyes. ‘He can afford it. You don’t know the profits he makes on the sly, Emma. I wouldn’t trust him if I were you. He probably cheats you as well as the government.’
‘Sheila! Be careful what you say.’
‘I’m not frightened of him,’ she said, and her eyes gleamed with malice. ‘He hasn’t treated me fair. He’s going to be very sorry one of these days, that’s all I can say …’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You’ll find out,’ she said, gave me an odd look and headed for the door. There she stopped and turned to look at me once more. ‘I might ask you for something one day. I’m only saying might …’
‘We’re still friends, Sheila. If you need my help, you only have to ask.’
‘I’ll send Annie to you if I do,’ she said. ‘Bye then, Emma. Thanks for everything – and watch Sol. I’m telling you, he isn’t as sweet and wholesome as he appears.’
I did not reply, simply staring after her as she slammed the door behind her. Sol came out of his office, then walked up to me. I could see he was very annoyed. ‘What was she saying to you, Emma?’ He swore softly. ‘She’s a right little bitch, that one. A whore and a thief …’
I was shocked by his manner and the words he chose.
‘Sol … that isn’t very nice. I know she took the ten shillings, but Lizzy was ill and she needed the money for the doctor. And she only meant to borrow the dress but it got spoiled …’
‘That’s what she told you,’ Sol said. ‘You shouldn’t believe everything she says, Emma.’
‘I don’t – but she has had a hard time, Sol. I would have replaced the money and paid for the dress if you had let me.’
‘She takes advantage of you,’ he said. ‘She thinks you’re a soft touch, but she knew I wouldn’t stand for too much. I’ve known what’s been going on for a while now, but I let it ride because she was your friend. Borrowing the dresses was one thing, I’ve turned a blind eye to that with other girls, but taking money is another. It wouldn’t have stopped there.’
‘No, I suppose not … but I can’t help feeling sorry for her.’
‘She’s a bad lot and best gone.’
I nodded, then looked at him anxiously. ‘She said she knew a lot about you, Sol. She said you would be sorry for not treating her fair one day. Can she cause trouble for you?’
‘Not if she knows what’s good for her,’ he said, but I saw a flash of something in his eyes and I sensed he was keeping something from me. ‘You leave her to me, Emma. I’ll soon send her packing if she comes here again.’
I didn’t answer him. I knew Sol got away with whatever he could. He found the government’s restrictions frustrating, and didn’t see why he shouldn’t make money on the side if he could wangle it somehow. But I doubted there was anything very wrong with the showroom accounts, because he had started to leave them to me for checking, and they usually tallied within a little.
So what other little pies had Sol dipped his fingers in, and what did Sheila know that might cause trouble for him?
Jack took me to a party at his embassy that night. It was an official affair, part business, part social, but the people were friendly and I did not feel shut out of things as I had at the reception I’d attended with Sol.
Afterwards, when we were alone in his apartment, I told him that I was a little anxious for Sol.
‘I don’t know if he has been breaking the law,’ I said. ‘But Sheila seemed so certain she could cause trouble for him. Of course, he wouldn’t tell me – but he might talk to you.’
‘He would resent my interference,’ Jack said. ‘I don’t meddle in another man’s business, Emma – but I could talk to the girl if you like? If it’s money she wants, I can probably sort her out. It’s usually money in a case like this.’
‘Would you do that?’ I laid my head against his naked shoulder, nibbling at him teasingly. ‘I don’t like to ask, Jack, but I know Sol is hiding something from me – and I think he’s worried, even though he wouldn’t let me see it.’
‘I’ll see Sheila,’ Jack promised. ‘Get me her address and leave the rest to me.’
‘It’s so nice having a masterful man to look after you,’ I said, leaning over to kiss his mouth. My hair brushed his chest. ‘I must think of a way to say thank you nicely.’
‘Witch,’ Jack murmured throatily, and rolled me beneath him in the bed, his powerful body covering mine. ‘I think you’re worrying for nothing. Sol can take care of himself – but I’ll check the girl out for you. Believe me, I’ll know if she is bluffing … and now, my sweet, I believe you have a promise to keep …’
When I looked for Sheila’s address in Sol’s records I was surprised. She had told me her cousin lived in Kensington, letting me think it was in one of the nicer districts, but in fact the address she had given was in a rather squalid area on the other side of Notting Hill High Street, a rookery of mean streets and slum houses. There had been talk often in the past years of clearing this area, but so far nothing had been done.
Sheila had led me to believe her cousin’s house was a modern one with a garden for the children, a proper kitchen and full sanitation, but it was obvious that she had lied to me again.
I was not due to see Jack that evening, so I decided to see if I could talk to Sheila myself. The clothes I had been altering for Annie’s children were ready, and I took them with me after work.
The house was even worse than I had dreamed, the windows filthy behind net curtains that were rotting into holes, and the paintwork peeling to the bare wood. When the door was opened by Annie, the stench of boiled vegetables and stale urine came out to me.
‘Emma …’ she said, looking awkward. We had met only twice before, when she came to the showroom to speak to Sheila, but she had looked quite smart then. Now she was dressed in a filthy skirt and blouse, her hair straggling and greasy on her shoulders. ‘I’m sorry … I can’t ask you in. I’ve got someone here …’
‘I wanted to see Sheila.’ I hesitated, then held the parcel out to Annie. ‘These are a few clothes for the children. ‘I made them myself. I hope you won’t be offended, but I know how difficult it is to manage these days …’
‘Lord bless you,’ she said, smiling at me. ‘I’m grateful for anything. I haven’t got Sheila’s pride – can’t afford it. The girls will be so pleased. Thank you for taking the trouble, Emma.’
‘I think they will fit,’ I said, feeling relieved by her answer. ‘Is Sheila in?’
‘She doesn’t live here any more,’ Annie said, and frowned. ‘We had a disagreement after she threw away that job you got her. I warned her what would happen if she kept borrowing dresses without permission, but she wouldn’t listen. She thought she was being clever, taking things that didn’t belong to her, but she didn’t know when she was lucky, Emma, and that’s the truth.’
‘I would have helped her if she had come to me.’
‘She knows that – but she doesn’t like asking for anything. She’s proud, and bitter – but there’s no sense in dwelling on the past. Anyway, I didn’t hold with what she was doing and I told her so. She went off in a huff and I haven’t seen her since. I think she’s living with some spiv … sells knocked-off goods down the market. He’s a bad one and she knows it, but there’s no talking to her.’
‘Do you know where she is living now?’ I asked. ‘I would like to see her, to talk to her if I could. We parted badly, and I don’t like that, Annie. We were always friends.’
Annie shook her head. ‘No, I’ve no idea where she lives and I don’t want to know. She has been nothing but trouble to me from the day she came. I may be poor, but I’m a decent woman, Emma – and I like things proper.’
‘Yes, I’m sure you do, Annie.’ I smiled at her. ‘Well, I hope the children’s things fit – and if yo
u don’t mind, I might bring you something else another day. Perhaps some tinned food …’
‘You’re very welcome to call,’ she said. ‘It’s good of you to think of us, and I’m sorry I can’t ask you in, but my neighbour is in the kitchen, and she’s a rough sort. I wouldn’t want you to be offended. If I hear anything about Sheila, I’ll let you know.’
‘I’ve been making some dresses for Lizzy,’ I said. ‘They are not quite finished yet, but I’ll bring them round next time – just in case Sheila decides to come back.’
I was thoughtful as I walked home. It was obvious that Annie did not approve of Sheila’s new lover. He was clearly a very unpleasant character. I could only hope that he would not let Sheila down too badly.
Chapter 11
Jack’s time with us was coming to an end. He had spent more than three months in England, much longer than I think either of us had expected. I should have been grateful for what we’d had, indeed, I was grateful, but in a way it only made our parting all the harder. I had become accustomed to seeing him often, and his habit of surprising me with small gifts or trips to the theatre had spoiled me.
We spent his last weekend at the Cottage. It was early September now and the heat of the summer had given way to a more gentle warmth and days that sometimes began with a slight mist drifting over the low ground.
‘I’m going to miss you so much when you go.’
We had been out to lunch at a small fish restaurant. Situated on a hill in Hastings, it had a magnificent view of the cliffs and the sea. Now we were driving slowly back through narrow lanes and heavily wooded scenery. The beauty all around me seemed almost to tear the heart from my body. Jack was a part of my life now and I could not bear the thought that soon he would not be here for me to touch or kiss, that I would no longer hear his voice calling to me or see his eyes light up when I turned to greet him.
‘I shall miss you, my darling,’ Jack said glancing at me. ‘Don’t worry, Emma. Things are beginning to go our way. This war can’t go on for ever. In the end, Germany will crack – and when it’s all over I shall come to claim you.’
‘Yes, I know.’
For most of the summer the papers had carried encouraging reports of Allied advances into Sicily and Italy. German cities had been devastated by our bombs, Hamburg having been almost wiped off the map by a sustained attack. In the Ukraine, the Russians had made significant advances. I knew Jack was right when he said the tide was turning in our favour, but it didn’t alter the fact that he was going away soon and my life would seem so empty without him.
We made the most of our last hours together. Jack’s love-making was tender, passionate, deeply satisfying. As I lay in his arms afterwards, I knew that I had been truly blessed. Very few women were fortunate enough to meet their soulmate. Jack was mine. I would never know such perfect happiness with anyone else.
I shed no tears when Jack left. He had made no secret of the fact that he expected to see action, that he himself had been party to a grand design of offensives about to be launched by the Allies. No details were let slip, of course, but we understood each other so well that I did not need to be told. I had known instinctively that serious matters had kept Jack in London. As much as he loved me, he had not stayed for my sake.
So I kissed my lover goodbye once more and turned to my work for comfort as I always did, making sure that James had his fair share of my love and attention. He was sulky and restless for a while, but then he seemed to settle down and accept that his daddy would come back one day.
Sometimes he asked if we could go to the seaside again. I told him we would go soon, perhaps the next summer, and in the meantime I made him a puppet theatre with a set of characters to amuse him. We spent many happy hours with our plays, and I was so proud of the strong, sturdy, rather independent child who was my son.
James had so many toys that the older ones lay discarded at the bottom of a trunk. I gave a few of them to Annie’s children when I visited her that autumn. I also took her tinned fruit and tea, both presents from Jack, and a fairly new dress of my own that I thought might fit her.
She was so pleased. She invited me into her house. Although it was in such poor condition, and there was nothing she could do about the smell – which I thought came from the drains – I could see she did her best to keep it clean inside.
‘I can’t be bothered with the windows,’ she told me over a cup of tea. ‘It’s such a dirty area, Emma. If you wash the step in the morning it’s filthy an hour later.’
‘You should apply for one of the new prefabs when they’re built,’ I said. ‘Sol was telling me about them. They are going to start building soon, to replace some of the houses that have been lost in the bombing. We’ve lost so many houses the government has to do something different. They are only temporary of course, but eventually they will be replaced with modern brick-built houses, and I think they’re going to be rather nice.’
‘I’d never get one,’ Annie said and sighed wistfully. ‘I used to think Hitler might do me a favour and blow this place up while we were out, but it didn’t happen.’
‘Oh, don’t!’ I said, feeling a chill at the nape of my neck. ‘I know it isn’t much of a place, Annie – but please don’t tempt fate. I wouldn’t want you and the children to be hurt, and when you wish for something you often get it, but in a different way to how you hoped.’
‘You’re a nice person, Emma,’ Annie said, then frowned. ‘I saw Sheila last week. She’s left that spiv she was with. He beat her up a couple of times so she moved on. I think she’s seeing some American airman now.’
‘Is she all right?’
Annie shook her head. ‘No, not really. I think she drinks too much. She had been drinking when I saw her. She’s letting herself go, Emma. Her hair hadn’t been washed and her shoes wanted mending. That isn’t like Sheila, not how she used to be, always so smart and proud of her appearance.’
Annie’s words made me fear for the girl who had been my friend. It was silly of me I suppose, but I couldn’t help feeling a little responsible for Sheila. Maybe if I hadn’t let her rent the shop in the first place she wouldn’t feel so bitter and resentful – and I’d found her the job with Sol. So in a way it was my fault she’d ended up like this.
‘Do you know where she lives?’ I asked Annie. ‘If she’s in trouble, I might be able to help her.’
‘She wouldn’t thank you for it,’ Annie said. ‘There’s no talking to her these days. You’d best leave her to go her own way.’
I accepted that Annie was probably right. Sheila did resent my attempts to help her. She resented that I was making a success of my own life, in a personal way and in business.
And so I decided to take Annie’s advice and leave Sheila to her own devices. What with the shop, my hours at the showroom, and the voluntary work I had taken on, I had plenty to look after in my own life, so much that the days and weeks seemed to just race away.
Now and then, a letter came from Jack and living seemed worthwhile. I believed that it was only a matter of time, perhaps months, before Jack would come back to me and then the war would be over and our life together could really begin
It was 1944 now. Restrictions on cloth were about to be lifted, causing much jubilation amongst the trade and the public. Now we would be much freer about how we designed our dresses. We could produce our popular pleated skirts again, and use all the buttons we liked. Men too could have turnups on their trousers, and the austerity suits would soon become just a memory. They had been so unpopular that many of them were unsold and were going to be given away to refugees in Europe.
Clothes rationing had saved the country millions of pounds, and tons of shipping. The reduction in output had cut down the need for staff in the trade, releasing thousands of older men and women for more essential war work, but the worst of the restrictions seemed to be over. Now people had started to talk with confidence of the way things would be once the war was finally won.
Sol was happier abou
t our prospects.
‘Once things get back to normal, we’ll be able to expand again, Emma.’ He gave me a thoughtful look. ‘You’ll have some money coming to you when the war is over. I was wondering whether you wanted to continue our partnership – or are you thinking of branching out on your own? You spoke of opening up a dress shop or two …’
‘I’m not sure what I shall want to do,’ I said. ‘I might not be living in London, Sol, though that wouldn’t necessarily prevent me from investing in a business with you. I could be a sort of silent partner, I suppose. Can we talk about it nearer the time?’
‘Yes, of course.’ He hesitated, then, ‘You’ve not heard from Sheila recently?’
‘I’ve heard of her,’ I said. ‘Her cousin Annie sees her from time to time. What’s worrying you, Sol?’
‘She took something of mine …’
I sensed the unease he was trying to hide. ‘Something important?’
‘An account book …’ Sol saw my frown and shook his head. ‘Nothing to do with the showroom. I wouldn’t involve you in anything not quite … Just another little business I’ve had going on the sidelines … black market stuff. You know.’ He looked uncomfortable. ‘Not quite legal, of course, but nothing terrible.’
‘Would you be in trouble if the book fell into the wrong hands?’
‘Well, not really …’ he hedged, then his eyes fell before mine. ‘It was a very private book, Emma. I suppose I was stupid to write it all down. If the worst came to the worst, I might go to prison for a few months.’
‘Oh, Sol …’ I looked at him in dismay. ‘I knew you cut a few corners here and there, but you must have done more than that to be in danger of going to prison. I’m … disappointed that you could have been so silly.’
‘Feet of clay, Emma?’ He pulled a wry face. ‘Don’t look at me that way, please? I know I’ve been a bit of a fool. I never meant to get so involved, but everything was so frustrating, and it seemed like fun at first. Just a few bits and pieces that got diverted from official channels – but somewhere along the line it grew. Rather too much for comfort if I’m honest.’