“The role of your guardian,” Eleanor said, raising her voice and narrowing her eyes in our direction, “is similar to that of a parent or guardian when you were alive. You all will have a curfew, which they’ll set, chores to do; you’ll abide by their specific rules as well as the general rules for all, and so on.”
The group rippled with murmurs about this revelation while I did my best to stifle a groan.
“Now, for the first decade—Hush, please, there’ll be time for questions later.” Eleanor raised her hands and patted down the chatter. “For the first ten years you’ll reside in group homes with other recently transitioned individuals and your guardian. During this period of adjustment the only social activities permitted are group activities with these individuals. This will help—Keep your questions until later, Bridget, please.”
“Yeah.” I shook my head and lowered my hand, adjusting my fringe on the way. “I’m sorry, I can’t. It’s an emergency.”
Eleanor’s smile became tight, but she motioned for me to speak. “Okay.”
“When you say ‘group home’ and ‘the first ten years’ I know you don’t mean that I have to live in a house with several other people for the first ten years of my afterlife.” I glanced around the group to gauge everyone else’s response to that bombshell while Sabrina snorted into her coffee. A house share? This was just a step too far.
“That’s exactly what it means.” Eleanor’s expression became fixed. Yep, she’d pinned me as a troublemaker already. “Studies prove that living with others who are at different stages of their acclimatisation helps the recently transitioned to adjust faster. They serve as a support group, as peer counselling, as ready-made friends.”
“All the things I loathe,” Sabrina mumbled, probably louder than she’d intended since Eleanor’s jaw locked shut. I assumed to prevent her from retorting.
“Okay.” Ignoring Sabrina, I shook my head and waved my hand at Eleanor. “I’m sorry, but that’s not going to work for me.”
“Well, you’ll have to find a way to make it.” Her southern accent thickened, adding extra pep to her tone.
“Is there someone I could speak to about this?” I was not living with other people. I was not. This was supposed to be the afterlife, not Hell.
A shrill laugh echoed from one of the passageways outside the hall. Heads whipped around as people tried to work out which direction it had come from. My first thought was “Wow, so this place really is haunted”. Then I realised, of course it was; we were haunting it.
“So, for the guidelines,” Eleanor said, trying to drown out the chatter that was getting louder and closer. “Under no circumstances whatsoever is it acceptable to miss a meeting. Attendance is mandatory. Severe repercussions will be enforced if this occurs.” Eleanor glanced around the room to stress this point, her attention resting on Sabrina and me.
A sobbing housewife to the left raised her hand and spoke. “What type of repercussions?”
Eleanor swept her gaze around the whole room again. “Severe. Please, for your sakes, don’t think you can skip a meeting and get away with it. You can’t. And these meetings are to help you. Missing them only hurts you in the long run anyway.” Eleanor clapped her hands as if that would help dispel the heavy atmosphere. “The rest of the rules are just as easy to follow. No drinking, no fighting, no breaking curfew, no fraternising with the living—”
“No fun at all,” chimed Sabrina a little too loudly, which won her a stern scowl from Eleanor.
“And, most definitely, under no circumstances, are you to haunt anyone,” Eleanor said, making a slashing motion with one hand as if to cut down any possible excuses.
Sabrina winked at me. “Well, that’s my Saturday night up in smoke.”
“I can appreciate these guidelines must seem restricting but they are ultimately for your protection.” Eleanor flicked her attention first to Jenny then to Sabrina. “Individuals in your situation can often have trouble adjusting.”
Personally, I thought Sabrina had adjusted a little too well.
“Now, any questions before we move on?” Eleanor tucked a strand of pale grey hair behind her ear and waited. Wherever the chatter had come from, its disappearance seemed to have reassured her.
“Is Heaven a lie?” Jenny choked out.
“Oh, Lord,” Sabrina groaned and covered her eyes with her hand.
“No.” Eleanor smiled kindly, patiently. “When we die we go to Heaven.”
“I thought we were dead?” I said.
“Not exactly,” Eleanor hedged, obviously not wanting to get into a metaphysical debate so soon, and checked her notes for where to pick up her presentation.
“Well, I got hit by a bus so I’m pretty sure I’m dead.”
She pursed her lips at me. “That’s not how it works.”
I frowned. “So, what? I’m alive?”
“No.”
I held up one hand in surrender. “Look, Eleanor, I’m not trying to be difficult here but I’m either alive or I’m dead. I’m not seeing a whole lot of other options. Unless I’m in a coma?”
“Maybe we’re undead,” Sabrina chipped in as the girl at the front started wailing loudly. “Are we undead?”
“Oh my god! Are we zombies?” Jenny cried.
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no,” Eleanor cooed soothingly at the girl while shooting eye daggers at Sabrina and me. “You are not a zombie.” Sabrina might have pushed it a little too far but I felt my questions were valid.
“We are dead to the world we used to live in but alive in this one,” the stony-faced man in the brown suit explained in a flat tone that called us all idiots. “So, we are both.”
“Exactly!” Eleanor jabbed a finger at her rescuer. “Exactly.”
“So, when we die here we go to Heaven?” Jenny asked him. He shrugged, and for some reason she looked to Sabrina and me.
“I have a horrible suspicion we’re shuffled into the next world where we’ll have to regulate communication between three worlds instead of two,” I said. I wasn’t holding out much hope for fluffy cloud cars and angels playing harps anymore.
Sabrina agreed with a nod. “Even in death The Man is still screwing us.”
“What?” Panic stretched the girl’s eyes. “What?”
“I mean, we’re transported to Heaven in a beautiful white light,” I said. I was fairly sure it was a lie but I'd have told her anything if it made her stop crying.
“Why are you so intent on getting to Heaven?” the older man sitting next to her asked.
Jenny’s shoulders slumped. “Because life is so hard.”
Sabrina gave Jenny a half salute. “Amen to that.”
“Oh, wow.” A girl, maybe sixteen, dark hair, pretty and slightly drunk, giggled from the main hall entrance.
Everyone in the room stared at her. Like rabbits caught in headlights, no one moved. I don’t even think anyone breathed.
A cherubic boy glanced around the hall over her shoulder. “Come on, we better go before we get caught.”
“Don’t be such a party pooper, Dan,” a very drunk blonde in a skimpy white summer dress slurred slightly as she dragged another boy into the hall behind her.
“Man, look at this.” The second boy jogged up to the podium and Eleanor retreated so fast she nearly fell backwards. “Friends! Romans! Countrymen! Lend me your beers!”
“Yeah, you’re really funny.” The first girl rolled her eyes and wandered around the hall, examining the tapestries.
“Well, I think you’re hilarious,” declared the blonde as she flopped down in one of the spare seats at the front and sipped her beer. “Give me a speech.”
The man in his fifties, who was sitting in the next seat, began edging away as if she were a wild animal and he was trying not to attract her attention.
“You not coming in, Dan?” the brunette called from the fireplace, beckoning him with her hand. “This stuff’s pretty cool. Old and tattered but cool.”
And I’d thought the tapestri
es looked renovated. Kids today.
“They can’t see us?” I whispered to Sabrina, who shook her head and shrugged, her eyes not leaving the group.
“Feels weird. Kinda cold.” Dan’s eyes darted around the room like he were a caged animal looking for an escape.
The brunette smiled and looked at him from under her lashes. “I’ll keep you warm.”
The boy standing in front of the podium whistled. “You’re not going to let that go unanswered, are you?”
“Yeah, I think I’m going to go.” Dan’s pale face disappeared from the doorway. His retreating footsteps echoed around the hall. “See you guys tomorrow.”
“Dan? Dan!” The brunette girl turned to the other two. “I can’t believe he just ran away.”
The other boy shrugged and turned back to his date. “You wanna go play with the cannons?”
“Sure.” She jumped to her feet and followed him out of the hall, quickly winking at the brunette over her shoulder.
“‘You wanna go play with the cannons?’” the brunette mimicked and turned back to the tapestries. “Jeez. You scared the life out of me.” She slapped her hand over her heart and stared directly at Jenny.
I’d been so focused on the teenagers I’d not seen Jenny move closer.
Jenny hesitated. “You can see me?”
“Hell, yeah, I can see you. Want a beer? You look like you’ve had a crappy day. Wanna talk about it … Jenny?” the girl asked as she read the name badge and offered Jenny an unopened bottle.
With a sideways glance at Eleanor, who was violently shaking her head, Jenny took it. “Hey, let’s get out of here. There’re better places to get plastered.”
“Jenny, please don’t do this,” Eleanor implored.
The brunette’s head snapped in Eleanor’s direction. “Did you hear that?”
“Nope. Let’s go,” Jenny said, taking a long sip of her beer.
“Jenny, please.” The desperation in Eleanor’s voice sent a chill down my spine. There were going to be consequences to this. Big, bad consequences.
“Okay, I definitely heard that.” The girl spun around on the spot, swaying slightly.
“Just the wind. C’mon, let’s go,” Jenny said, taking another long sip of her beer.
Jenny reached for the girl, whether to link arms or usher her out, I didn’t know, but the instant Jenny touched her, her fingers went right through the girl’s arm. The girl shivered and stared up at Jenny, confusion screwing up her features. Jenny looked at the hand holding the beer then tried to touch the girl’s arm again. Once more her fingers slipped right through.
The girl let out a shrill scream that bounced off the walls of the hall. She dropped her beer, the bottle smashing on the floor, and bolted for the door. Jenny turned back to Eleanor, childish confusion playing all over her face.
“I don’t understand.”
Eleanor sighed with a sad shake of her head. “Oh, Jenny.”
A flash erupted several feet behind Jenny. Two burly men in black jumpsuits strode out of the smoke. They had eye masks like burglars in cartoons and the initials GB embroidered in white on the right breasts of their suits and on the right lower curve of their masks. Ghosting Busters. One had Jenny face down on the floor and handcuffed in seconds while the other spoke quietly with Eleanor. Too quietly for us to hear. When he was done he turned to face us.
“Let this be a lesson, folks. Be cool. Don’t break the number one rule.” He fashioned his hand like a gun and fake shot at us.
His partner yanked a very confused, wailing Jenny to her feet before all three of them disappeared into another flash of light.
Chapter Three
“Where do you think they’ve taken her?” Sabrina asked as we stacked the last five blue plastic chairs together in a small tower.
Silence had reigned for nearly a full minute after the black jumpsuits had taken Jenny, and then everybody had started talking at once, demanding answers. Eleanor kept repeating if we followed the guidelines she’d oh-so-briefly touched on we’d all be fine, raising her voice louder each time as if the increase in volume somehow made it more believable. Didn’t exactly fill me with confidence.
“Jail?” I picked up the chairs and headed to the low stacks already lining the far wall of the fort.
“Jail? Have you forgotten we’re ghosts? We can walk through walls. Or at least we'll be able to once we learn how.” Sabrina pushed herself up to sit on one of the stacks, swinging her legs as she surveyed the room. “Exactly what type of jail do you imagine would hold a ghost?”
I dusted a mark from the cuff of my suit. “A really, really good one.”
Sabrina arched an eyebrow. “That’s your answer? ‘A really, really good one’?”
“A really, really, really good one?” I said, ineffectually batting at the dust marks on the hem of my trousers. I needed a new outfit and fast. This suit was not made to actually work in.
She nodded. “Ohhhhh, right. I didn’t know you meant a really, really, really good one. Yeah, that type would totally hold us.”
“Well, smartass, I might be a ghost but this chair feels pretty damn solid to me,” I said, slapping the seat of the stack I’d just set down.
Sabrina considered the three chairs she was sitting on and nodded. “Touché.”
“Also, they’ve laid down rules, so there have to be consequences if you break them.” I glanced towards the podium where Eleanor was still trying to reassure some of the more upset members of our group, which was everyone except Sabrina, the brown-suited man and me. He’d walked out directly after Eleanor had called time on the meeting.
“But jail? That just sounds so …” Sabrina’s mouth twisted unhappily. “Mundane.”
I leaned against the stack of chairs, watching Eleanor struggling to placate everyone. “What else are they going to do with us? I’m guessing we don’t have corporal punishment. And since we don’t have an expiry date, a prison sentence could be a millennium long.”
Sabrina frowned at the crowd around Eleanor and jumped off the chairs. “That’s a very good point.”
“Where do you think they’ve taken her?” I asked as we skirted around the group and headed for the archway and the heavy wooden doors to freedom.
“Maybe they’ve deported her.” She shrugged, aiming for nonchalant and missing by miles.
“Deported her where? It’s not like her visa’s run out,” I said as I heaved one of the wooden doors open a crack so we could squeeze out.
“I don’t know. Just somewhere … else.” Sabrina obviously had a place in mind but for some reason she was reluctant to say. We stepped out into the balmy evening and headed uphill away from the fort to get a better view of the town and ocean below. As the last rays of the sun warmed my face, it hit me.
“You’re thinking Hell?”
“Or Purgatory.”
“Yeah.” I drew the word out and looked back towards the fort. Other members of our group were slowly emerging in small clumps and talking quietly but animatedly. “I think Eleanor would’ve mentioned that.”
“I suppose. It would be quite the deterrent.”
The sun dipped below the ocean, streaking the sky with pink and yellow hues as it went. It took the remnants of warmth of the day with it and I wrapped my arms around my chest. The harbour below was so peaceful in the dim light, the water rippling gently against the boats. Several couples wandered along the beach for romantic sunset walks. Sounds of laughter and glasses clinking drifted on the breeze from the promenade, the restaurant lights hidden by the outward curve of the beach.
Sabrina made herself comfortable on the grass, all seriousness from seconds ago forgotten. “On the bright side, murder wasn’t on the list of forbidden activities, so even if they do arrest you we’ll be able to mount an excellent defence. Especially considering you aren’t guilty.”
I snorted. “Yeah. Because innocent people are never convicted.” I followed her to the ground, since the battle for my suit was truly lost.
/> “Hmm.” Sabrina tapped her chin in a show of thinking it over. “You’re right. We need to solve this ourselves. We’ll start tomorrow.”
“Were you not just in that room?” I mimicked Eleanor in my best American South accent. “‘No drinking, no fighting no breaking curfew’. We’ll be deported to Hell. Or Purgatory. Or jailed. Or flashed out of existence in a blinding white light. Or possibly any one of a myriad of other equally unappealing consequences. Maybe more than one.”
“I thought we’d just decided they couldn’t deport us to Hell? Anyway, clearing your name after you’ve been falsely accused of murder was definitely not on that list of no-nos. And you said the detective already had you pinned for the murder, so you have nothing to lose.”
There was an incredibly loose thread of logic to her proposal but that wasn’t what won me over. It was the hint of desperation in her deep, slate blue eyes. As if she was trying to hold onto something from her life, something she knew, something she understood. Perhaps she hadn’t adjusted so well after all.
“Okay, but if we get caught and sentenced to an eternity of hard labour, you’re taking at least half my workload.”
“Make it a quarter and you’ve got a deal.” She spat on her palm and extended her hand to me.
“You don’t actually expect me to shake that, do you?” I asked as she grinned widely and waggled her hand at me. This was so going to end badly. I spat on my own palm and shook her hand, quickly wiping it on the grass afterwards. “You’re so gross.”
“Here’s the plan,” she whispered despite there being no one around to eavesdrop. The rest of our GA group were still clumped together by the front entrance of the fort. They reminded me of a herd of frightened sheep on the lookout for a wolf. “We need to find out who this guy was, if he had any enemies, if he’d argued with anyone recently, who his friends were, where he was last night, that kind of thing. I’ll see what I have access to on my end.”
“Okay.” I nodded confidently despite having no clue exactly how I would find any of it out.
“Excellent, we’ll swap info back here tomorrow night.” Sabrina beamed at me, positively radiant at the thought.
Beyond Dead Page 3