by Sara Daniel
“I don’t know. I changed his diaper. I turned the lights on. I turned the lights off. I tried that toy that plays music. I thought surely the bottle would help.”
“May I?” Olivia stretched out her arms.
“Please.” He gratefully handed the baby over.
She put Liam up on her shoulder and began patting his back. He continued sobbing and squirming, but Olivia didn’t get impatient or upset. She just spoke in low, soothing tones and continued patting him. Suddenly, the baby let out a loud belch. “Whoa, was that what was upsetting you?” She continued to pat Liam, and he gradually settled down. Eventually, she lowered herself into the chair and rocked him gently in her arms.
There was an awkwardness that carried intimate overtones to having her in his bedroom tonight. For both of them, Liam, and even her sister, Caleb needed to resolve what went wrong with her marriage so she’d stop blaming him. The more formal he was, the more she seemed to resent him. She’d likely respond best to a relaxed, casual approach. He unbuttoned his jacket and hung it in the closet.
Her eyes took on a wary gleam as she shifted Liam in her arms. “Why are you taking off your clothes in front of me?”
Just like that, he lost his focus. Her insinuation hadn’t occurred to him. Except, now that she’d planted the idea, he wanted it. He took a deep breath, trying to redirect his thoughts. “I want you comfortable for a relaxed conversation. Forget I’m a therapist. But don’t forget so much that you assume we’re going to end up sleeping together after we have a heart-to-heart talk.”
“I think I can restrain myself.”
Her wry sarcasm wasn’t lost on him. He gave her his sincere TV smile and tried to ignore the jab. “Let’s go back to the conversation where you mocked my theories. It seems your husband had dreams that you think should have remained unrealized and the breakdown of the marriage occurred from there. Why don’t you tell me about those dreams?”
“Sure. Why not?” Her sarcasm bordered on scathing now. “As soon as you tell me what gives you the right to tell me my divorce is damaging my child when you didn’t bother to establish a relationship before you jumped to creating a child with Jennifer. Not only that, you abandoned her to have the baby on her own. Do you really think your actions aren’t damaging your child?”
“I’m here now to fix things for Liam, not that it’s any of your business.”
“And my marriage isn’t yours.” She smoothed her hand over Liam’s downy head and pressed her lips to his forehead. The baby didn’t make a sound. He now slept peacefully in her arms.
She’d made her point, although her marriage definitely was his business, his career, and his legacy. But if he pointed it out, she’d probably make a convincing argument that Liam was her concern, as well. He needed to offer something personal to get her to return the favor.
“Perhaps you’ll understand my concern for parents dragging their kids through divorces if you know what I’ve gone through. My mother has been married six times.”
Olivia glanced at him, as if she expected him to elaborate. Surely, that shameful number spoke for itself.
He scavenged for more pieces to make the point hit home. “Three of them to the same guy.”
She continued to watch him. “Did you like the guy? Was he your dad?”
“No and no.” He didn’t want to think about Ralph with his awful cooking and volatile moods. “Your turn.”
Still cradling Liam, Olivia stood up. He thought she might lay the baby in the crib and walk out the door without saying a word, but to his surprise, she started talking. “You were right about dreams being the downfall of our marriage. I met Bryce my senior year in college. He was on crutches from a downhill skiing accident. He didn’t like to talk about what he was missing out on, so I didn’t realize the depth of his passion for the sport. We got married and took over The Scot’s Mansion from my parents. Then he got the doctor’s okay to hit the slopes again. He lost all interest in the parts of his life that didn’t involve skiing.”
It was so easy for her to spill her story. She really was eager to talk once she’d exhausted her token protests. Next time Caleb wouldn’t be conned by attacks on his personal life. “Why didn’t you try skiing with him?”
“I did. I split my time between running this place and joining him on the slopes. But I just slowed him down, and I nearly destroyed the business two generations of my family had dedicated their lives to.”
Caleb watched her reflection in the dark glass as she rubbed her thumb and index finger over her forehead. The urge to take over the massage and erase her tension was strong. “You were trying to do too much.”
She turned to him, surprise evident on her face. “You’re the last person I would have expected to side with me. My parents said I didn’t do enough.”
He should clarify that he wasn’t taking any side. He was an impartial therapist, evaluating the past for her benefit and the benefit of all Forever marriages. Taking sides would impede that objective. “Your parents must be proud of how you’ve pulled the inn together and kept it running since then.”
She avoided his gaze as she crossed the room and lay Liam in his crib. “When I got pregnant, my doctor recommended I give up skiing during my pregnancy, so I concentrated my time here. The arrangement worked better for both of us.”
Caleb didn’t miss that she didn’t actually agree with his comment about her parents, but since it didn’t involve the breakdown of her marriage, he let it go. “You and your husband kept in touch by phone, right?”
“I’ve told you plenty more than you need to know.” She pulled a blanket around Liam and then stepped back from the crib. “I explored his world. I validated his dreams. We followed The Forever Marriage. Ours fell apart.”
“We’re having a good conversation.” He stood up and walked to her. “Don’t close down on me.”
“Conversations, by definition, are not one-sided.” She slipped out the door before he could follow his instincts and settle his hand on her shoulder.
The denial of contact made him realize how much he wanted to touch her. So he let her go. He needed to get his priorities in order and his hormones under control. He’d get his answers, and he’d get them without giving up anything about himself. All his life lessons that benefited the common good were already documented in his books. Knowing anything more about him would not improve Olivia’s personal situation.
He looked down at the sleeping baby. The only thing he could do to strengthen his example was raise Liam in a Forever marriage. Giving up chatting with Olivia while she rocked the baby in his bedroom at night was a small price to pay for that perfection.
“Hey, Olivia, put Austin on.”
“He’s asleep, Bryce.” She did her best to tamp down her irritation as she held the phone receiver to her ear. She was wearing her sweats and would already be asleep herself if it wasn’t for her agitation over her “therapy session” with Caleb this evening.
“I know I’m late. I got to it as soon as I could.” The background noise on his end made it difficult to make out his words. “Man, there was an awesome powder snowfall today. I had to take advantage of it.”
I hate snow. She flinched as Austin’s words echoed in her head. He might not have known about the powder snow, but he knew what kept his father from calling him. “Austin was disappointed you didn’t call him.”
“It wasn’t intentional. I have a life and a career to work around.”
“You have a kid. See if you can work your life around him for fifteen minutes a week.” She closed her eyes and tried to control her irritation. Yelling at Bryce wouldn’t make Austin a higher priority.
“I’m coming to see him in a week, as soon as this next meet is over. I’ll spend all weekend with him then. What more could you want?”
She could have produced a list. Instead, she focused on the one item that would make an immediate difference to Austin. “His birthday is this Saturday, the day after tomorrow. He wants you here for the party.”
“He invited all his friends. He won’t even notice I’m missing. Put him on the phone now. I’ll tell him an early happy birthday. We’ll go skiing next weekend, just the two of us.”
She considered reminding him that it was after midnight, too late for phone calls to almost-six-year-olds. But she didn’t have the energy to argue. She walked into Austin’s bedroom and nudged him until his eyes partially opened. “Dad wants to talk to you, honey.” She sat on his bed, propping him against her chest as she held the phone to his ear.
“Why didn’t you call?…uh huh…okay…yeah…yeah…uh huh…bye.” Austin pushed the phone away and yawned, snuggling back down on his pillow, his eyes already closed.
“See, I told you he’d be fine. Give him some credit,” Bryce said.
Olivia looked down at Austin sleeping on the bed. That was hardly the quality time with his father that her son craved. “If you promised him something, make sure you can keep it. For his sake.”
“I’m going to take him skiing. I never blow off a ski trip. Man, he’ll get such a kick out of doing what his dad does every day.”
“He’ll enjoy spending time with you. Good night, Bryce.” She kissed Austin’s cheek and replaced the phone in her bedroom. Then she flopped on the bed, more irritated than before. Bryce never blew off a ski trip. But he didn’t have a problem blowing off phone calls to his adoring son. Or blowing off their marriage. She punched her pillow.
The housekeeping line rang and she picked it up automatically.
“Some people find using the same medium improves their memory and perception. I thought we could talk about those calls from when you and your husband were apart,” Caleb said.
“You thought wrong.” She should hang up on him, but letting her emotions spew through the phone seemed more tolerable than lying alone in the dark with her frustrations.
“Has the ex called yet?”
“He just did.”
“A little late.”
“He didn’t think so.” She yanked the covers she was lying on top of. The phone calls she and Bryce had exchanged at the end of their marriage were as overdue and as mundane as Austin’s side of the conversation tonight. “I don’t know what earth-shattering revelation you expect from me, but you’re going to be disappointed.”
“I’ll take my chances,” Caleb replied. “After your husband decided to be a professional skier and you let him go for it but stayed home to focus on your dream, were your phone conversations about the inn or skiing?”
She couldn’t recall much of either. And she resented the assumption The Scot’s Mansion was her dream. No one asked her what her dream was. They all assumed.
Just like Caleb assumed she was at fault for the demise of her marriage. Just like he assumed he could do a better job raising Liam.
Biologically, she’d never get the large family she craved. She didn’t have an intimate relationship required to produce children. So she was making hers happen through foster care. Soon, she would have the children in her home who needed and wanted her love, and she would give it unconditionally. That was her real dream, and she didn’t need a man to validate it.
Chapter 6
Caleb spent the early hours of the morning trying to amuse Liam while simultaneously trying to get in touch with Ethan, who wasn’t answering his phone. He had more luck when he called the rental car company to explain what had happened to his car. Outside, the snow was letting up. He’d give the snowplows until early afternoon before he called to complain. In the meantime, he’d follow up on the Forever possibilities with Penelope.
Last night, Olivia had revealed a potential crack in the validating dreams section of Forever. It likely was her own misinterpretation. His time with Penelope would serve a dual purpose. In applying the principle to himself, he could discern whether the tenet was solid or contained any damaging holes.
Armed with a plan of action, he fed Liam his bottle and settled him for a nap. Pleased to have handled the baby duties without calling in Olivia to bail him out, Caleb strapped on the baby monitor and strode from the room.
In the basement, Penelope was sitting on a stool, squeezing an eyedropper into a test tube. He watched her from the bottom of the stairs. She was so immersed in her world of perfumes she didn’t notice his presence. If he could understand what fueled her and somehow help her achieve her dream, he could assess whether those actions brought them closer, as they should — or pulled them apart, as Olivia claimed.
“Penelope.” He had to say her name twice before he caught her attention. “Do you mind if I watch you work?”
She blinked at him through her lab goggles. “You’re already watching, aren’t you?”
Not exactly the warm welcome he was hoping for. “Can you explain your process while you work?”
She scowled first but then shrugged. “I guess.” She scribbled a couple lines in her notebook and placed the test tube in a rack in the refrigerator. “Who do you want to make a perfume for?”
He dragged another stool next to hers and sat. “You can lecture while you do your normal tasks. I don’t need to make a perfume for anyone.”
“A girlfriend?”
“No.” That should have been obvious. He was considering her as a possible candidate. “How about my mother?”
“Mothers are good choices,” Penelope said as if it was a common suggestion.
Caleb nearly fell off his stool. He’d volunteered to make a gift for his mother. Surely, those words hadn’t come from his lips. He wouldn’t give it to her, of course. Each time he had a new book out, his office shipped her a complimentary copy. That was the extent of his involvement.
“What’s your mom like?” Penelope asked.
“I don’t want to talk about her.”
She gave him an exasperated look. “I have to know something about her to customize it.”
“Right.” He took a deep breath, trying to formulate a sentence that would pacify Penelope without actually revealing anything.
Footsteps sounded on the stairs. Caleb turned, grateful for the interruption. Olivia ignored him as she focused on her sister. “Austin said you promised to play Legos with him at ten o’clock. It’s already ten-thirty. If you make a promise to my kid, so help me God, you better keep it.”
Penelope glanced at her watch. “I have every intention of keeping it. I just lost track of time. Do me a favor and give Cain the questionnaire. He’s making a perfume for his mother.”
Caleb opened his mouth to object, but Penelope didn’t ask if the arrangement was satisfactory before marching upstairs. They needed to work on communication, not to mention she could at least focus on him long enough to remember his name.
Olivia took a seat on the stool Penelope had vacated. “Cain, huh? What made you decide to give your mom a perfume?”
He looked at her short, manicured fingers clenched around a pencil. “I want to learn to make perfume. It’s not about her.”
“You don’t have to try to lower my opinion of you.”
“I doubt it’s possible,” he agreed. But it was. All he had to do was tell her he hadn’t spoken to his mother in a decade. He’d dedicated his life to making sure other children didn’t go through the problems he’d gone through as a child. But Liam would likely grow up estranged from his mother too. Caleb was failing his own child.
“So, you can give me three adjectives to describe your mother, or you can tell me more about your ‘good-enough’ sex life, which I’m guessing means it’s not very good at all. I mean, why settle for ‘good enough’ when you can have stellar, stupendous, exhilarating sex?”
Caleb wrenched his gaze away. No one had ever turned him into a quivering mass over a few words before. “You can’t say those things to me. You have a son.”
“You’re not my son. I’m not saying them to Austin. I’m not saying them when he’s in earshot.” Olivia stacked the papers in front of her on the tabletop.
“I’m not getting involved with you or playing emotional gam
es,” he said. “I’m not going to be the ‘bad guy’ in your son’s life.”
“The ‘bad guy’? I’m the one who thinks you’re the ‘bad guy,’ not Austin. If you want to change that perception, you need to stay away from Penelope. She doesn’t play games with her heart. You’ll hurt her.”
“If her heart’s involved, she’s not following Forever correctly.”
“How can you even contemplate a relationship without your heart becoming involved? Penelope’s not going to be able to separate the two.” Olivia looked more baffled than angry. Perhaps she hadn’t read his books, after all.
“I understand you’re jealous because I’m interested in her rather than you, but you need to learn to control your emotional impulses.” As soon as the words left his mouth, Caleb realized they sounded more patronizing than he intended.
Olivia was clearly incensed. “I am curbing my emotional impulses. Otherwise, you and your damn theories would be buried face first in the deepest snow bank.”
Yes, he definitely had to experience the elements of Forever for himself. He couldn’t rely on Olivia’s testimony and over-the-top threats, regardless of the exhilarating, stupendous sexual fantasies her emotional tirades incited.
“Dad’s here. I told you he’d come for my birthday.” Austin ran from his seat by the window to the front door and threw it open.
Olivia glanced out the window. A car was idling on the road at the end of the driveway. A tractor with a plow on it came up the drive, taking several swipes before coming back down. She recognized driver of the tractor as the farmer who lived off the main road.
The car made its way up the freshly plowed drive. She didn’t recognize the vehicle, but Bryce generally came in a rental. He’d been clear he couldn’t make the party, and his reasons had nothing to do with the storm. Since Austin’s heart was set on his presence, she hoped Bryce had ditched the competition for his son.