by Sara Daniel
Olivia swung around as Austin tugged at her waist, looking close to tears. He was supposed to be getting himself ready to go sledding. “What’s wrong?”
“I flushed and the toilet keeps going and going and won’t stop.”
She hurried upstairs. Sure enough, the finicky toilet was overflowing across the bathroom floor and into the living room. She slipped on the vinyl floor and grabbed the bathroom doorway to steady herself. Balance regained, she jigged the toilet handle until it stopped flowing. She stared at the newly-formed lake on the floor. The damage was already done.
“I didn’t do mean to do it, Mommy,” Austin said in a small voice.
“I know.” She fixed a bright smile on her face for his sake. It wasn’t his fault the house was in such bad shape. He certainly shouldn’t worry because a good portion of the carpet in the living room was soaked and the floor beneath it might be ruined as well.
“Nobody was hurt, and that’s more important than any old house.” But letting the place deteriorate to this point was just another way she’d failed her legacy.
Austin’s chin wobbled. “Can we still go sledding?”
Playing in the snow was the last thing she could afford to spend her time on at the moment, but Austin had been looking forward to it. After his father disappointing him on his birthday, she couldn’t let him down for anything less serious than a life-and-death matter. “Yes. I need to clean the floor first, so it can start airing out while we’re outside. Can you tell Ethan I’ll be delayed for a few minutes?”
“Okay.” He turned carefully so he didn’t slip and disappeared down the stairs.
Alone, Olivia didn’t have to pretend a flooded bathroom was anything to feel cheerful about. If she was lucky, the downstairs ceilings wouldn’t show any permanent damage. If she wasn’t, well, more money would go to repairs, leaving less for remodeling the downstairs guest rooms into bedrooms and living space for the big family she craved. No matter how hard she worked toward it, her dreams of expanding her family and giving children a better home were always pushed aside by the demands of the inn.
“How’s it going?”
The voice startled her. She hadn’t heard footsteps. Olivia turned around to find Caleb at the top of the stairs. “Under control. Sometimes the water return in this toilet has a mind of its own and makes a big mess if it’s not caught in time.”
“Sounds like you need to replace it.”
His conclusion was logical, if not financially viable. “It’s on my list. Unfortunately, the cracks in the foundation took priority this fall.”
“Cracks in the foundation and a leaky toilet? Have you considered demolishing the building and having it rebuilt?”
She was sure Grandma MacDermont was shouting curses from her grave. “I’m remodeling as I have the money for it. Austin and I will make do in the meantime.”
“You’re putting the needs of your business before those of your child.”
“I certainly am not.” He couldn’t have said anything that would have insulted her more. “The business is a family obligation. Believe me, I’d chuck it all if I had the chance. As it is, I’m taking away guest rooms from the business to convert into a living space. My grand plan is a six-bedroom home with several baths, a private family room, and a family dining room.”
“Yes, Austin needs a house with a solid foundation and a working bathroom, but a bigger house won’t solve his issues.”
Austin’s issues, again. She gritted her teeth. “He’ll need the space once he has a houseful of brothers and sisters.”
Caleb looked horrified. “Are you — ” He stared at her stomach, speechless.
“Pregnant?” Olivia finished his question. “It’s comforting to know I can count on you to think of me in the worst possible light.”
Caleb reached up and adjusted his tie. She’d taken offense but hadn’t given him an answer. He had a duty and an obligation not to be a bad guy in her son’s life. His conscience wasn’t soothed knowing another man had beaten him to that role. “Are you pregnant?”
“No. I’m taking in foster kids.”
He was relieved, although he refused to analyze if that relief was on a personal or professional level. Her explanation opened up new avenues for disaster she might not have considered. “Why? Were you a foster child and feel the need to give back? Did your parents take in kids and you’re trying to live their example?”
“It has nothing to do with duty.” She swiped her mop with more intensity than the vinyl deserved. “There are kids in my community who need the love I can give them. I want to include them in my family for as long as they need me.”
Her recklessness appalled him. Children needed stability, not to bounce from one bad home to another. Liam had come so close to becoming one of those unfortunate youths he felt like he had a personal stake in the issue. “Foster children will drift in and out of your life. How can you equip Austin to deal with the unpredictability and constant chaos? Two people in a strong relationship can have a difficult time dealing with their emotional needs.”
Olivia glanced at him and then resumed mopping. “You assume this is a whim, that I haven’t considered the difficulties I’ll encounter. If I hadn’t already taken a hard look at the negatives, the paperwork and interviews with social workers to get me approved this far would have forced me to do so. Do you expect me to fail because I failed with Forever or because I don’t have a Ph.D. in psychology?”
Either answer would come across as arrogant and condescending on his part. In truth, he was amazed and confused. Her past didn’t make her feel obligated to help kids as his did, and she claimed this wasn’t a lark. “Why are you compelled to plunge your life into chaos for children you have no reason to care for?”
“Because my heart tells me they need me.”
He winced. “Hearts are fickle. Austin and countless other children will pay the price for yours.”
Olivia stared at him. He could see his words had hurt her. He probably could have been more diplomatic if the memories of his own childhood being dragged from place to place by his mother’s whims didn’t still rub him raw.
“Is it your professional opinion that I will do these children more harm than good?” she asked coolly. “Or is it possible that maybe — just maybe — their biological parents could be worse than me. You told me I was doing a decent job with Austin.”
“That’s not the point.”
“I’m making my own point,” she shot back, fire replacing the ice. “If you’re so intent on helping children, why don’t you make them your life’s work instead of marriages?”
The thought of making children the centerpiece of his life struck panic in Caleb’s heart. He tried to do good for children through Forever, but dealing directly with kids was a responsibility he’d never wanted. He could personally screw up a child’s life.
Working with marriage gave him a layer of safety. He was still reaching his ultimate goal of helping kids, but he couldn’t personally harm them. No one would point fingers at him as the villain in their life.
Except Liam.
He shuddered. He had to explore ways to make Liam’s life better. He could start right now by digging into what went wrong with Olivia’s use of his marriage model. “Did you really think your husband’s extramarital affairs weren’t important enough to mention to me?”
She set down her mop and slowly lifted her gaze to him. “What are you talking about?”
Her eyes proved the question was rhetorical, but he answered anyway. “Your ex’s penchant for picking up women on the slopes.”
She flinched and crossed her arms over her chest. “Who told you about that?”
“The ‘who’ that matters is I didn’t hear it from you.” He knew she was hurting, but he was disappointed she’d held out something so vital from him.
“Come on, Mr. Therapist. You learned in Marriage Counseling 101 an affair is not the cause of what’s wrong in a marriage. It’s a symptom of the problem. An affair ha
ppens because problems already exist.”
“So you’re telling me Bryce’s infidelity was inconsequential.” He took a step toward her. He was sure it hadn’t been inconsequential to her.
“In the context of how low you value sex in a Forever marriage, yes.” Olivia picked up her mop again and worked it viciously across the floor.
“Considering I have an illegitimate child, I think it’s safe to say I understand a man’s basic need for sex.”
“Yes, you want to get laid by someone who’s not going to harm your pious and straight-laced counselor image. Is that why you’re up here with me now?”
The scorn in her tone sliced him. “I’m a man. I have needs. But I’m not thinking about my image while I’m trying to get in your pants.”
That came out wrong. That sounded like he had indeed come upstairs to have sex with her.
Before he could backtrack, Olivia barreled on. “No. You’re thinking about your image while you’re having polite, Forever-sanctioned conversations with my sister. Then you come upstairs horny, hoping to nail the disposable divorcée.”
“Whoa.” He held up his hands. “You’re not disposable.”
His attempt to placate her fell on deaf ears. She threw the mop aside. “You can satisfy yourself with your own hand, Caleb Paden, because you’re not getting any action from me.”
She shoved by him and stormed toward the stairs. She slipped on the wet floor. Caleb lunged for her, catching her before she hit her head on the wall.
“Are you okay?”
She pushed him away again. “I have a lot of cleaning to do. Please go downstairs and leave me alone.” Her voice cracked.
He couldn’t do that until he’d made amends. He laid a hand on her shoulder. At his touch, she burst into tears.
Shoot. He was such a jerk. As a psychologist, he had no excuse for being so insensitive. He cradled her in his arms as sobs wracked through her. He pressed his lips to the top of her head, hating himself more with every shudder of her body.
He’d witnessed plenty of his mom’s crying jags over the years. But he hadn’t caused those. This stabbing regret and guilt was new and unwelcome. Her sobs subsided to the point where no sound came out, but she continued to shake. Each tremor of vulnerability pierced him more than the raw spilling of emotion.
She wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “Just go.”
Caleb took her chin in his hand and drew her face toward him. Her eyes were still swimming with hurt and he knew she hadn’t forgiven him yet. He lowered his lips to her trembling mouth and brushed them gently across. He ached to lose himself mindlessly in her sweetness but forced himself to break away. “Bryce was a fool to cheat on you,” he whispered.
Olivia jumped backwards, out of reach. “I was the fool. I won’t be one again.”
Chapter 11
Her heart was pounding so hard her entire chest ached. Olivia stood with her hands on the edge of the bathroom sink, trying to come to grips with the magnitude of what had just happened. She needed to change her clothes and take Austin sledding like she promised. She had a housekeeping disaster demanding immediate attention. She’d blown her magnificent exit with clumsiness and a big emotional breakdown. She could handle all that. But then Caleb kissed her.
She’d never planned to kiss him. She’d toyed with the idea of seducing him, using wild sex to loosen him up and blow his theories to hell. But kissing involved the heart, and her heart was reserved for children.
His kiss hadn’t been the kind to make a woman lose her senses and fall head over heels. It didn’t matter. With a single brush of his lips, she realized she’d only been fooling herself. Now she didn’t even have the comfort of ignorance.
With a final deep breath, she pushed herself away from the sink and went to change her clothes. By the time she marched downstairs she was almost composed. Austin had recovered from the bathroom incident and his excitement made it almost easy to smile again.
“I found my snow pants, but I didn’t find Ethan yet.”
“Find me for what?” Ethan strode toward the door with his coat on.
“Sledding, of course.”
“Oh, shoot. I made dinner plans with Penelope, thinking I could still do the sledding first. But then I realized I need to go out and pick up a few things for our dinner.”
“But you promised.” Austin looked crestfallen.
Ethan winced. “This meeting with Penelope is really important. You don’t mind if we postpone our sledding, do you buddy?”
Of course, Austin minded. That was more than obvious. It was none of Olivia’s business where her guests went or what they did, but Austin was still recovering from the disappointment of his father. He needed a man who would keep his word. But Ethan wasn’t his father. He didn’t have the obligation to follow through like Bryce did.
“Whatever.” Austin’s shoulders slumped.
“Thanks. Penelope really needs my business advice.” Ethan shot Olivia one of his easy, charming smiles. How ironic that both her guests had made Penelope their top priority.
“We’re still going sledding and we’re going to have a great time.” Olivia squeezed Austin’s shoulders.
“What’s going on?” Caleb asked, entering the hall.
“I’m bailing on the sledding outing I promised Austin. He needs a substitute,” Ethan said.
Caleb scowled. “If you’re going to make promises to a child, you have to keep them. What kind of stepfather would you be?”
“Better than the ones we had,” Ethan said cheerfully.
“That’s not good enough.”
“Then I appreciate you stepping in for me.” Ethan slapped him on the back and waltzed out of the inn to his car.
“He certainly played you.” Olivia met Caleb’s gaze while trying not to imagine his strong arms wrapped around her as they whizzed down the hill on the metal runner sled.
“I guess he did.” Caleb’s rueful smile slipped through her defenses. “I’ll deal with him later. Let’s go.”
Olivia tried to steel herself against his unexpected onslaught of charm. It was too soon after his kiss. She was too vulnerable. She needed him to give her his most pompous, sanctimonious attitude right now. “Get your winter gear on if you’re coming. Austin and I are ready.”
“What winter gear?”
“Boots, snow pants, coat, hat, scarf, mittens.”
“I have a coat. If I had any of those other items, I’d have worn them when I wandered in from the snowstorm four days ago.”
“Right. Well, thanks for offering to take Ethan’s place. I’ll be back inside in time to prepare your dinner.” Even though she was keeping her promise to Austin, her inn obligations were still cutting into the limited time she could spend with her son. Olivia slipped her arms into her coat sleeves and wound her scarf around her neck.
Caleb crouched in front of Austin. “I’m not going to disappoint you. Wait for me. We’re going to have a great time.”
His fierceness made Olivia almost believe him. What scared her was how much she wanted to depend on his promises. Especially the promise that came with his kiss.
Caleb reached up and unknotted his tie. He was determined to dress appropriately for the outing. His wardrobe left him few options, but removing the tie seemed like a smart first step.
He kept his suit coat on and covered it with his winter coat. He might be boiling by the end of the afternoon, but at least he wouldn’t be underdressed. His only footwear was his wingtips, so regardless of how inappropriate they were he was stuck with them. Scarves were for women, and stocking hats were for kids. He didn’t have mittens, but he did have driving gloves. Satisfied he’d thought of everything, he joined Olivia and her son at the front door.
Austin scowled at him. “I wanted to sled with Ethan, not you.”
He had a Ph.D. in psychology. He could get through to this kid. “I’ve never been sledding before. I’m looking forward to learning.”
“It’ll still be fun with Dr. Paden,” Oliv
ia encouraged, opening the door and ushering them outside. “We’ll take him on the bunny hill first.”
“You can call me Caleb.” He fell into step with Austin. They trotted to what apparently was the bunny hill behind the house. It looked much too long and steep for such an innocent name.
“Ride this.” Austin plunked a plastic disc on the snow-packed ground in front of him.
“That one looks sturdier.” Caleb pointed to the wooden sled with metal runners Olivia was holding.
“You’re not scared, are you?”
“Of course not.” But to prove it, he had to sit down and trust his life to a flimsy piece of plastic. He glanced at Austin, whose lips were curled in a sneer. He could do this. As her guest, Olivia would stop him from doing anything that wasn’t completely safe. He hoped.
He sat down gingerly and grasped the sides of the plastic disc. Austin shoved on his shoulders.
Olivia shouted something about steering, but it was too late. He was already flying down the hill toward a group of trees. He was gaining speed. The trees were getting closer. He had to stop. He had to get off this thing. Now.
He planted his feet on the ground in front of him. They stopped, but the sled carried the rest of his momentum forward. The world became a white blur of upside-down trees as he tumbled head over heels down the hill. After what seemed like an eternity of hurtling without control over the speed or direction of his body, he came to a rest face first in the snow. Extremely cold snow.
He lifted his head. Austin screamed like a banshee as he whizzed by. He was headed straight for the trees. Caleb shoved himself to his knees, not taking time to assess his injuries. He had to save Austin from paralysis or worse. He rose to his feet. Austin’s sled rolled a couple feet up an incline before sliding back to a stop at the bottom of the hill. The trees were still ten feet higher up the slope. He sat back down in the snow and waited for his panicked breathing to return to normal.