by Sara Daniel
“You love her,” Caleb clarified. “Mom, do you love him?”
She covered her heart with both hands. “From the moment I met him. You were almost six, and Ethan was a year old. I was walking out of the lawyer’s office with my divorce papers from your dad in hand and Ralph walked in. It was love at first sight.”
Actually, the image was more seedy than romantic. He decided not to dwell on it. He looked across the room at Olivia. She was dressed in an ivory blouse and long dark skirt with her hair pulled back in a tidy bun. He missed the baggy sweaters and tacky, useless hair clips.
Liam took his drooly fingers out of his mouth and mauled Olivia’s face with them. She smiled back at him without flinching.
“I don’t expect you to drop everything to integrate yourself in my life,” Mom said. “I wasn’t a good mother. I was selfish and put my needs first too many times. I left you to fend for yourself too often and gave you too much responsibility at too young an age. But you always calmly accepted it and rose to the occasion. I knew I could count on you. If this decade apart hasn’t been long enough, I don’t blame you. You’ve earned your freedom.”
The last ten years hadn’t been freedom. It had been a prison of his own making. Now he was finally free. “If it wouldn’t be too much of an intrusion, I could work in a phone call once a week, maybe during Monday Night Football.”
Mom wrapped her arms around him so tightly he nearly staggered. He’d been such a jerk. He didn’t deserve this loving welcome. “I do some babysitting on the evenings that Ralph works. You probably wouldn’t trust me with your son, but I can give you some references if you want to think about it. I’m a better grandma than I was a mother.”
And she had been a better mother to him than Jennifer had been to Liam. “Liam needs his grandparents, even step-grandparents,” he included Ralph. He wasn’t ready to be best friends with the guy, but he didn’t hate his guts either. “He needs a stable family.”
“I’m here for him as much as you need me,” Mom said, wiping her eyes. “We should call Ethan so he can be a part of this reunion.”
“I’ll get him on my cell.” Caleb reached for the clip on his belt.
“No,” Olivia said. “I’m sure he’s happy for you, but he’s celebrating privately right now.”
“What are you talking about?” He pulled away from his mother to look at her. Jealousy always made an appearance when she was linked with his brother, no matter how much he tried to suppress the feelings.
“He’s in the basement with Penelope,” Olivia said, not sounding the least bitter. “She planned to tell him she loves him. I assure you the feeling’s mutual.”
Caleb wasn’t jealous anymore. But he was restless. He’d been displaced again. Everyone was finding happiness by acting on their feelings first and adding logic as an afterthought. To act on feelings, he had to first analyze what he was feeling. He’d denied that side of himself too long to have any clue where to start.
Mom beamed at him, oblivious to his thoughts. “Good. I’m glad Ethan and Penelope finally got you out of the way.”
“I’m opening the wine,” Ralph announced. “A toast. To Ethan and the love of his life, Penelope.”
Caleb wasn’t quite ready to drink to that. He’d been dumped by her only a few hours ago. Regardless, Olivia passed him a glass. He took it and drank. Losing his fiancée and watching the last vestiges of his career swirl down the toilet surely earned him the right to blind drunkenness. Since college, he’d only gotten drunk twice — the night Liam was conceived and after Penelope accepted his marriage proposal. They’d both guzzled too much wine in an effort to make the marriage look like the right decision. Apparently, her stupor had worn off first.
He carried his empty glass to the side table where Ralph had set down the bottle. He poured himself a refill and lifted his glass toward Olivia. “I know my limit. I’ll be sober by the time I leave tonight.”
She shook her head. “Not with Liam, you won’t. I figured you’d be staying anyway. I already have the suite ready.”
Tonight she was logical, while passion, desire and raw emotion waged a war to take over his body. With Forever in shambles, Caleb had no reason not to surrender.
Chapter 22
Olivia put Liam to bed before the end of community hour. But it was well after the “hour” had drawn to a close when Ralph announced, “I’m going to call it a night. What do you say, Maggie?”
“I’ve been waiting for you, sweetheart.” Margaret rose from the couch. “Good night, Caleb. I’ll see you at breakfast. With any luck, maybe your brother will join us.”
Olivia didn’t want to speculate about how long before Ethan and Penelope came up for air, so she said, “Good night,” and found herself alone with Caleb for the first time since Penelope had accepted his engagement proposal. “I assume you’ll head back to New York in the morning.”
“With the hangover I’m bound to have, I don’t intend to leave my room until after noon.”
He’d been drinking. She had to remember that. Whatever his impaired brain might want, his complete faculties would interpret differently. She wasn’t drunk. Therefore, she would be responsible for any activity he had second thoughts about in the morning. And he’d already let her know he wasn’t leaving soon enough for her to come away unscathed.
She locked the liquor cabinet. “Good night, Caleb.”
“You love me. Come to bed with me.” He didn’t sound drunk. He sounded as reasonable and practical as ever.
She turned to him. “You were right. I don’t need this roller coaster of emotions. It’s not good for me or either of our sons. I’m not letting you suck me in again.” And she meant it. She simply could not endure the misery of loving him and suffering through another rejection. She definitely couldn’t allow Austin to feel the effects of it. Caleb’s mother had openly admitted her failings as a mother. She never wanted to saddle Austin with that burden.
She carried the scone tray to the kitchen. A glob of jam was on the counter, and she automatically wiped it with a sponge. When she swung back out the door, Caleb was standing on the other side. “Where did you put Liam’s diaper bag? My car keys are in it, and my overnight bag is locked in the car.”
She couldn’t let him stagger out drunk into the dark. Wet, heavy snow had fallen this morning, then melted in the afternoon and now had refrozen in big icy puddles on the driveway. Now more snow was falling that would cover the ice and leave him unsuspecting of the danger. “Go to your room. I’ll bring everything to you.”
He did as he was told — too well. By the time she knocked on his bedroom door, he was wearing nothing but his briefs. He might not have been an athlete, but he still had an outstanding, toned physique. She allowed herself to ogle. After all, she’d had her eyes closed the one time they made love.
“Condoms are in the right side pocket.” Caleb nodded to the bag. He flicked off the light, walked toward the bed, threw back the covers and flopped down on the pillow.
Was that supposed to be an invitation? Liam might be sleeping far enough away behind a closed door, but she didn’t want a one-night stand with him or even a series of one-night no-strings encounters. A romp between the sheets wasn’t going to help her get over him. And she certainly didn’t want another cold encounter where they didn’t even kiss.
Many times Caleb’s body had tempted her, but not this time. She had her child and other children who were going to join her home to think of. She had a responsibility to give all of them a more stable environment than the emotional turmoil she went through every time she threw herself at Caleb. “No thanks. Good night.”
“Oh, gross. It’s slimy,” Caleb muttered from the bed. His tone switched to a demanding bellow. “What is this? Turn on the light.”
Olivia released her grip on the doorknob, flipped the light switch and hurried to his side. All personal feelings aside, she jumped into efficient innkeeper mode.
“What is this?” He sat up, dangling his red fingers in
front of her face. Red dripped down his cheek and along his side.
“Oh my God, you’re bleeding.” Her knees nearly buckled. “What happened? Never mind.” That could be sorted out later. He needed immediate medical attention. “I’m calling an ambulance.”
He clamped his blood-stained fingers over her wrist. “I’m not bleeding.”
“But — ” It was everywhere. It was gross. It was grizzly. Some of it was almost translucent. Others were deeper red clumps. Dark specks stood out, about the size of berry seeds. Wait a minute. She lifted his hand to her mouth and licked his fingertips. “Strawberry preserves.”
“Which would be in my bed because?” He yanked his hand free and swiped angrily at his cheek, smearing the oozing jelly.
Her brain was still trying to process that he wasn’t bleeding. “I washed the sheets after you left. No one else has slept in here since.”
“This is completely unacceptable.”
“I couldn’t agree more.” Ironically, the crisis made it easier to treat him the same as any other disgruntled guest. “I’ll change the sheets. If you’d like to move to another suite, there’s one more down the hall I can fix up.”
“Staying here wasn’t my idea, you know. If you hadn’t insisted, I would be sober enough to leave right now.”
Likely, he was. “I’m sorry, Caleb. I’ve never had anything like this happen before. Why don’t you take a shower while I clean the bed? I’ll bring in more towels and extra soap and shampoo.” She had too much emotional investment to let physical attraction take over. Besides, he wasn’t really that attractive covered in red goo.
She peeled back the sheet. The other side of the bed was smeared with sticky jam from the pillow down to the middle of the bed. Someone hadn’t taken any chances on which side he would sleep on. A bed didn’t become filled with strawberry preserves without human intervention. Had Ralph decided to play a practical joke?
Caleb stood and took her hand. “If you want to help, you can wash me.”
She halfheartedly tried to hold back, but the thought of putting her soapy hands all over him was irresistible. She let him tug her into the bathroom. “I’ll wash your underwear with the sheets.”
He glanced down at himself and grimaced. “I ruined a pair of your underwear. You ruined a pair of mine. Now we’re even. Of course, I kept your pair.” He locked gazes with her and slowly peeled off his sticky red briefs.
Olivia’s hands shook as she reached for the garment. She wasn’t immune to his invitation now. There was nothing cold in his sizzling gaze. She couldn’t stop herself from looking down his chest. Down to his naked flesh. He was…words escaped her. Thoughts escaped her.
“About that help getting clean.” His voice turned husky.
If only she was drunk. She could use her tongue as a sponge and lick every inch of him. Strawberries and cream. She nearly whimpered. Instead, she said, “I’ll take care of the laundry and bring more soap.”
He held his hands palm out. “I treated you rotten. You have every right to turn me down. When I’m with you, you unlock all the forbidden emotions inside me and now they’re consuming me.”
She had to stay strong. For Austin. For her own sanity. She hugged her misery around her. She wasn’t going to weaken just because her body and her heart wanted to welcome him again. “Go back home. I’ll be out of sight and out of mind.”
“It doesn’t work that way. Believe me, I tried. You are not forgettable at all.”
“I know exactly what I am. I’m someone you wish had never entered your life.” She had to get out of here before she started to cry. He’d made his choice when he picked her sister. She wasn’t going to take him back just because Penelope had dumped him.
His arm snaked around her waist. Her breath whooshed out in a shudder as his hard, naked body spooned around her. She bit back a whimper that had nothing to do with her tears and everything to do with desire. Desire that had the power to crumble her resolve.
“Your love is the only thing right in my life,” he whispered against her ear.
“You’re not looking for love. You’re looking for sex.”
He turned her shoulders until she was facing him in his embrace. “My theories are shot to hell. It’s time for me to look for love.”
She threw her arms around his neck. It was wrong. He hadn’t declared any feelings for her. But if he wanted love, tonight she would show him how good love could be.
He drew her away slowly, rubbing his finger over the stains of jam on her blouse. “Now you have to shower with me.”
“I have no choice.” She smiled into his eyes, hoping he would see only her love and not her pain. She reached over his shoulder and turned on the shower. That action was easier than unbuttoning and peeling back her shirt. He’d rejected her too many times for her to expect any other reaction.
He pulled the pins from the coil she had painstakingly prepared in her hair. “I like the rumpled look better.”
She kicked off her low-heeled shoes and stepped into the shower. Still fully clothed, she began lathering her hands with soap. “Come on in. I’ll scrub your back.”
He looked her up and down as he stepped over the lip of the tub and joined her in the tiny enclosure. “Why didn’t you take your clothes off?”
“My clothes need the cleaning, not my skin,” she quipped and rubbed her hands over his skin.
The simple movement gave him visible pleasure. His eyes closed as he drifted under the steaming spray. He reached blindly for her. She caught his hands with her own and pulled him to her. This encounter couldn’t be the same as last time. It would break her heart. “If you want to make love, there’s a catch.”
His eyes opened. Wariness replaced pleasure. He definitely wasn’t ready to make a declaration of love or marriage or any other commitment. He looked ready to bolt from the bathroom if she demanded it.
“We have to kiss first,” she said. “After all, I owe you one.”
Relief replaced his wariness. “I’m all yours.”
She covered his mouth with hers and drank from his lips while the water and steam surrounded them. She could taste a hint of strawberry and a stronger vestige of wine. But most potent of all was the taste of him.
She was drowning. Her clothes hung heavily from her shoulders and waist. Water streamed over her face. Every breath she took was Caleb. She gulped him, taking in his strength, his warmth, even his occasional hesitancy. He was the person she wanted, and she wanted him badly.
She took her time exploring his mouth, but her hands grew restless. She wanted to explore his body too. She sluiced the water from his back and made her way down to the curve of his buttocks.
“Olivia,” he groaned. “You have too many clothes on.”
“I’m starting to agree with you.” The wet, heavy fabric was keeping her from the closeness she craved.
He immediately dealt with her shirt. He worked the buttons free, pulled it off her arms, and tossed it out of the shower. It would create an enormous puddle she’d have to clean up. At the moment, she didn’t care.
Her bra fell away, replaced by Caleb’s soapy hands, swirling circles over her breasts. “Oh yes.” She arched her back, letting her body beg for more. The water washed away the soap and was replaced by his mouth. Heat and tingling flooded every crevice of her body.
She grabbed the back of his neck and hauled his mouth back up to hers. She loved the sensations of his mouth on her body, but she wasn’t done kissing him. She hadn’t kissed him enough before. She needed to get in as much as she could, in case she never got the chance again.
He pulled down the zipper on her skirt and pushed it off her waist, but the fabric continued to cling to the nylons on her hips. Caleb broke off the kiss and knelt in front of her to give the clothes his full attention.
Olivia lathered her hands and began washing his back and face. The task was mundane when she washed herself, but doing it for him was unbelievably intimate. A man’s back was never sexier than when he k
nelt in front of her.
His mouth pressed against her hair at the apex of her thighs. Her body coiled in delight and anticipation, and she gasped. She clutched the top of his head to balance herself as he peeled her nylons off her ankles. He surrounded first one leg, then the other, with both hands. He slid his hands down her foot and then all the way back up her thighs. She shivered and clutched him tighter.
“Stand up,” she demanded. “I want to kiss you when I come.” She was determined to be completely involved this time, not a prone body that let him take charge of everything. She wasn’t going to stand while he was so far below her she could barely touch him.
“I want to pleasure you.” Caleb lifted his face and met her gaze.
“Then I’m going to kiss you while you’re doing it.” She reached her hands under his shoulders, pulling until he stood. She slid her hands down his hips, both arousing and satisfying herself as he moaned and pressed his hot fullness against her.
His hands curved under her hips, lifting her against him. She melded her mouth to his and wrapped a leg around his waist, taking him in.
“Olivia.” His voice was strained and muffled against her lips. “When I’m with you, I feel things I’ve never felt before. If I’d known this was what I was denying myself with Forever, I would have closed up shop years ago.”
She pressed her hands against his back to bring him closer to her. “How do you feel right now?”
He groaned and stepped forward, pressing her back against the shower wall as water continued to pour over them. “I feel like the first rain after a drought. I can’t get enough of you, of the feelings you create inside me.”
Her heart turned to mush. She’d foolishly tried to hold it at a distance, but now it was front and center, feeling every touch, every word, every pulse. She lifted her other foot underneath the shower curtain and pushed against the edge of the tub, raising herself until she was poised at his tip.