“Denise? This is your girlfriend?” Elizabeth recovered first. Her eyes were focused intently on John. I was glad as that gaze, more of a glare, would have killed me on the spot had it been directed at me.
“Yes,” John said, moving a little closer to me.
“Denise. Nice to meet you,” John Archer III said tersely, reaching out for my hand. I shook his hand, trying not to wince at the firmness of his grip.
“Denise.” Elizabeth said my name as if it almost physically pained her to do so. Her handshake was limp, and her hand was quickly withdrawn afterward.
“Nice to meet you both,” I said, feeling as if I was barely in the room. Both of John’s parents were focused on him.
“Where’s Thom? I want Thom to meet Denise,” John said, that weird tone in his voice that had been in it at the diner. A contradictory blend of uncertainty and determination.
“He’s out. Kelly picked him up earlier,” Elizabeth replied. “He’ll be black—oh, oh, excuse me. I misspoke. I meant to say he’ll be back by dinner.”
Finally, there was some color in her face. Oh, so that was what was bothering Mrs. Archer. Hm. Thought so.
“Denise. Darling. I’m sure you’re tired. Alex will show you to your room. You can have some time to freshen up or take a nap or whatever you wish to do,” Elizabeth said.
She signaled an older Mexican-American gentleman into the room. He was short and his body hinted at having once been well built through his three-piece suit. His black hair was starting to gray at the sides. Alex picked up my suitcase. I followed him up a staircase and down the hall to a doorway at the end of it.
The room was nice. Mahogany furniture. Four-poster bed. Plenty of expensive-looking fixtures. The kind of stuff from those furniture stores I passed, afraid to even go in and look at the price tags, on my way to Ikea. I was tempted to take a nap on the forty million thread count sheets, but I was even more tempted to eavesdrop on John’s conversation with his parents.
Alex set my suitcase down and asked me if I needed anything else. I assured him I didn’t. He then hurried off. Probably afraid Elizabeth would demand something of him when he wasn’t there to comply. I didn’t blame Alex. I was afraid of that woman, too.
“So this is who you left Sasha for? Unacceptable, John.”
“I can’t believe this matters so much to you guys.” John’s voice was tired and strained. I felt a little sorry for him, but I was mad at him to for letting me walk into this mess.
“John, you should have told us she’s—not white. Why wouldn’t you tell us that?” John Archer III sounded more than a little ticked.
“Well, quite frankly, I didn’t know you were racist,” John said.
“Don’t you take that tone with me. And I am not racist. That is a horrible thing to say. I have plenty of black friends. Why, Charles was just promoted to partner last week. But son—there’s a difference between us. You can’t just go marrying one of them.”
“Dad. Pretending to like black people at work is not having black friends. Promoting someone who’s deserved that promotion for years and had been overlooked again and again does not count. And nobody’s saying anything about marriage, but if—”
“Stop right there. This family has an image to uphold. We are the Archers. Do you know what that means? I’ll throw you out on your ass, John. I will not hesitate one moment.”
“But—”
“I’ll give it all to your brother, I swear. Who pays your bills? Where do you think the money in that trust comes from? And you would turn your back on your family like this? John, I am completely disappointed in you. Just when I thought you were finally beginning to get your act together. And you have that poor girl here now. What kind of New Year’s will this be? It’s all a disgrace. You can’t be a partner like this. You can’t be on the board of Randy’s company like this. How would I explain your black babies to—anybody?”
“Dad, I’m tired of you trying to run everything. Your way isn’t the only way. This is my choice and my life and I love her. Screw the trust fund if that’s how you feel. The firm, everything!”
“I am not losing my son over this,” Elizabeth Archer screamed.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Oh, don’t thank me. Now what we have to do is get Sasha back, son. You’re confused. Obviously this girl has—”
“Denise didn’t do anything. I went after her. Yeah, your perfect lily white son went after the evil black woman. I love Denise. I do not love Sasha. I’m not going to marry an image because that’s what you think is best for me. And if I marry Denise, there’s nothing you can do about it.”
I heard a thud. For a moment I thought it was me. But then I realized that I was still on my feet.
“Elizabeth! Look what you’ve done to your mother. Get Alex,” John Archer III shouted, but Alex was already running into the room. “Hurry, get a wet cloth and some water. My wife has fainted. Faster, or you’ll be on your way back to Mexico before dinner.”
Alex hurried back out of the living room. He didn’t even notice me.
“Out. We’ll discuss this later. You better hope and pray you come to your senses, too. And thank your mother. If it wasn’t for her protest, you’d be out of this house tonight,” John Archer III said.
John burst out of the living room. He saw me. There was a furious look on his face. Of all the thoughts that could come into my head, I couldn’t help thinking of how sexy he was at that moment.
“You heard all of that?” he asked quietly. His expression softened.
“Most—I just I wanted to take a shower and I couldn’t find the towels and I was looking for Alex . . .” I rambled on nervously. Why did I feel guilty? Why did I feel I owed him an explanation about anything? But somehow, he had that effect on me.
“Come on.” John hugged me to him and we went upstairs to the room Alex had shown me. He sat me down on the bed and closed the door. He then pulled up a chair in front of me. He turned the chair backward, sat and rested his chin on the top of the back of the chair. Those eyes. He could make me do or say anything with those eyes. I looked away. He gently took my chin between his fingers and turned me to face him again. I still avoided his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t tell them.”
“You shouldn’t have heard that. I wanted to protect you.”
“Yeah, ’cause that turned out so well.”
“Did you tell your parents I’m white before we went to your place?”
“That’s different. I knew they wouldn’t care.” So I exaggerated a little. I had been pretty sure they didn’t care about such things, and I was right. “Why didn’t you tell them? Why didn’t you at least warn me they didn’t know?” Tears, hot and prickling, threatened to pour down my face at any moment. I couldn’t stop myself from bringing my eyes back to his. They were so sad, so tired, and yet still so intense.
“I guess I didn’t want to believe it would be an issue, even though deep down I knew. We never really talked about it, but I mean, I guess the signs were there. I’m sorry.”
He got up from the chair and sat next to me. I moved a little further down on the bed.
“John, why would you put me in this position? You knew what would happen. You knew. That’s why you were acting all strange at the train station. You knew. That’s why you acted weird when I asked about them at Thanksgiving. You always knew. Why did you bring me into this? You’ve always known. And you knew we wouldn’t be able to stay together. And now I’m in love with you and there’s nothing I can do about it,” I said as the tears streamed down my face. I knew it wasn’t all his fault and that I had been in love with him before he even broke up with Sasha, but I wasn’t about to admit that.
“Denise, I know, and I’m sorry. But I just couldn’t stay away from you. There’s just something about you that pulls me in. And what do you mean about us not staying together? Are you breaking up with me?” John asked in a low tone, his voice thick with emotion. I couldn’t bear to look directly at him
or let him touch me. I would fall apart if he did either. I wouldn’t be able to march myself right out of that house with whatever little resolve I had left. I scooted back on the bed a little.
“They’re going to disown you. What do you think?”
“Who cares?” John reached up to brush away my tears before I could stop him. I grabbed his arm, intending to push him away, but I froze for a moment, and that was all he needed. He gently loosened his arm from my grip, grabbed my shoulders, and pushed me back onto the bed. He lay on top of me, still holding me.
“You do,” I said, trying to swallow my sobs.
He bent down and sweetly kissed both of my wet cheeks before kissing my lips. I sighed a little and then gave into him completely, kissing him back.
“I don’t. And even if I did, I can’t stay away from you,” John whispered over my lips before kissing them again. John’s kisses were undoing every bit of resolve I wanted to have about the situation. I finally forced myself to turn away from his kisses, and then he started kissing my neck, which was even worse.
“I can’t believe you put me in this situation. You got me all the way up here and they hate me. You know I can’t stay here. You know we can’t—”
“Sh. How about we stay for dinner? I really want you to meet my brother. No, he’s cool. He’s not like them. And we’ll take a train back to Virginia tomorrow, if they won’t let me take the car. We’ll spend New Year’s in Richmond,” John murmured before kissing me again. What was this spell he had me under? I was supposed to be mad. And here he was, telling me all the right things.
“Hmph,” I snorted, still trying to put on a mad front.
“I really am sorry,” he said as he sat up and told me to turn over. I did. When I asked him what for, he said, “I owe you a massage.”
“I let you get away with way too much,” I sighed. His hands felt really good on my back, kneading my sore muscles, though.
He laughed. “Does that mean you’ll stay tonight?”
“You sure they won’t try to lynch me at dinner?”
“That’s not funny. And they know better than to try anything. They know I’ll leave tonight if they don’t behave.”
“Then okay. But if we’re not outta here in the morning, I’m outta here in the morning,” I said, closing my eyes. I was on the edge of consciousness. I was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. And I hadn’t really been able to sleep on the train. And John’s hands on my back were so relaxing. I decided to close my eyes for just a moment . . .
Dinner was extremely tense. The only good thing was Thom, John’s brother, really was wonderful, as promised.
He had his mother’s auburn hair and his father’s green eyes. And the sharp Archer jaw line.
“So, Thom, how’s Kelly?” Elizabeth nearly spat. John rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. Kelly was Thom’s girlfriend, I had discovered.
“She’s great. Her mom made me some cookies. They were awesome, but I already ate ’em all before I even got back here,” Thom said, oblivious to his mother’s dig.
“She’s such a nice girl. She’s so perfect for you, Thom,” Elizabeth said. Okay. Not even a rock could have missed that one. There was silence around the table; not even a fork scraping. John squeezed my knee.
I took a huge gulp of wine.
“More wine, Denise?” John Archer III asked dryly, giving me a disapproving look.
“Yes, please,” I said with a testy smile. Screw John Archer III. He signaled to Alex with a sour face.
“Oh, you know how they are with their drink, John. Excuse her,” Elizabeth said.
“Mom, that’s ignorant,” Thom said, looking at his mom in disbelief.
“What? I meant—college students—drink a lot,” Elizabeth looked a little flustered. But she still made sure to give me a pointed, nasty look.
“Sure you did, Mom,” John said. “But you don’t have to worry about looking at Denise anymore after tonight. I know how much you hate to do that. We’re leaving in the morning.”
I wanted to kiss him right then and there. But I didn’t want to be responsible for any heart attacks or double murder-suicides. Or felony murder if his parents died of shock because of my grand theft white boy. Although, I wasn’t quite in the clear with that last one yet.
“John. We have New Year’s plans in Rochester with the DuPrees. As we do every year. Bring her if you must, but tell everyone she’s a friend. We never miss this.”
“Well, I’m sure you, Thom and Dad will have an excellent time. But Denise and I are spending New Year’s in Richmond,” John said firmly. He turned to his dad. “I’ve tried everything I can think of and nothing’s worked. I’m tired of fighting for your approval. I shouldn’t have to work so hard for the love of my parents. If you can’t accept me as I am, I guess you just can’t accept me. But I’m not going to be with someone I don’t love just because it’s a sound business decision. And I’m not going to spend the rest of my life trying to live up to some impossible standard you keep trying to hold me up to.”
“What the hell are you talking about, John?” John Archer III’s face turned a shade closer to purple than red.
“I’m done being unhappy for you on the slim chance of a hope that you might treat me like a son one day and not like a useless, dumb lump of clay you have to mold into something respectable and worthy of your time. You know why I got kicked out of three boarding schools? Why I almost dropped out of Boston College? Because of you. Then I tried doing it your way. For some reason, I thought that might make things better.
“When I finally thought I could do something to please you, go to law school, I still wasn’t good enough because I couldn’t get into your precious Harvard. Even with your help. Fine. Give it all to Thom. It’s not worth it to me anymore. Your approval isn’t something I’m willing to sacrifice anything for anymore. Especially being with the woman I love.”
Silence followed John’s shouting. John Archer III looked at John for a long moment and John stared right back. Elizabeth kept smoothing out the table cloth around her plate. Her lips were stretched into a line so thin they were barely visible.
“Come on, Elizabeth,” John Archer III said. He and Elizabeth left the table.
Thom patted John on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about them, bro,” Thom said.
“I’m not. I meant it when I said I’m done with all that,” John said. He smiled at me. I shrugged and smiled back. It wasn’t what I had envisioned for New Year’s. But in a lot of ways, it was much better.
John and I left the next day. John’s parents gave Thom the S-Class, but agreed to let John take the Kompressor back. So he wasn’t completely out of the family. Only Thom saw us off. He told John their parents would come around. And he told me that he couldn’t wait to have me for a sister-in-law and thanked me for taking Sasha out of the picture.
I was never happier in my life to leave a house. I had never met people like John’s parents. And it wouldn’t have hurt my feelings if I never did again. I couldn’t help but thinking how much I would love to give them some black grandbabies one day out of spite. Even if they never so much as looked at the kids.
Chapter 15
NEW YEAR’S
Once we were on our way back to Virginia, John looked at me, grinning, and then turned back to face the road several times.
“What?”
“I was just thinking of how happy you were this morning as opposed to all day yesterday.”
“You were really different yesterday, too. You kind of freaked me out a little bit.”
“Yeah, well, you almost got me disowned.”
“You lied. A lot. To everybody.”
“Okay, yeah, but you weren’t so truthful yourself. Thanksgiving ring a bell? And don’t give me any of your excuses about that,” John said, smiling, his eyes still on the road.
I watched the white, snowy landscape ahead. “John?” “Yes?”
“You never told me about any of that. The boarding schools. Almost faili
ng out of undergrad or anything.”
John drove in silence for a while, staring straight ahead out of the windshield. I watched the windshield wipers move back and forth, sweeping wisps of powdery snow across the glass, while I waited for him to say something.
“I don’t like talking about it.”
“What happened?”
“Whatever I said yesterday, that’s all there is to it. I wasn’t the best of students.” He shrugged. “We can’t all be geniuses like you.” John laughed, but it sounded forced.
I could tell I wouldn’t get any more than that out of him, but I was curious about what had happened. A lot had gone on between him and his family, it seemed. I wondered what could make him feel like his parents didn’t love him.
I grabbed my throw blanket from the back and reclined my seat, preparing for the long ride ahead of us. I closed my eyes and thought happier thoughts, my lips curving up into a smile as my mind went back to John’s massage the night before and how good his hands felt on my back. I wondered how much better they would have felt without my shirt between them and my skin.
* * *
We stayed overnight in Baltimore because we didn’t feel like driving anymore. And we weren’t in any hurry to get back. We decided on a hotel just off of Interstate 695. I shuffled up to the counter behind John. I was cold and more tired than hungry. My fingers were numb and frozen inside my thin gloves. I hoped John wouldn’t say anything about dinner, because I just wanted to sleep.
A woman with badly damaged, bleached blonde hair stared up at us with her beady brown eyes.
“Hi, can we get a room tonight?” John asked, pulling his wallet from his back pocket.
The woman’s eyes moved from my face to John’s and then back to mine again. “Just the one room? For the two of you?” She had a faint New Jersey accent. I thought that she couldn’t have been a native Marylander.
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