The Dark Side of the Sun

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The Dark Side of the Sun Page 14

by Terry Pratchett


  Dom felt emboldened and tried one or two lunges, which slid harmlessly off the other's pole. Tarli smiled, and spun his pole around a finger. The spin carried on - the pole flashed across his back, was caught again and came down with a thud on the heavy padding of Dom's helmet. Tarli made a few passes and completed the movement with another gentle blow to the head.

  Dom jerked aside and swung his pole downwards. Tarli hopped over it, lunged and twisted. Caught by the added leverage Dom slid several yards on his stomach in the gravel.

  Sharli put her hand over her mouth and turned away. Her shoulders were shaking.

  Dom's pole came down with a crack across Tarli's unprotected feet. Then he scrambled up and brought it down in a whistling arc that ended on the boy's arm.

  Tarli staggered backwards, waving his arms desperately to keep his balance. Dom caught him again in the chest.

  Tarli disappeared.

  Dom ran forward in time to see his white face vanish under the water of the waterfall pool. He struggled out of his own armour and dived after him, hitting the water in a jangle of waterlilies.

  Far below him a dark shape was sinking into the depths. Dom caught it, grabbed him by the arm and kicked out for the surface. As they broke water gravity found the heavy armour again and they both went under.

  He fought for the surface again, trying to find the buckles of the armour. Then a thick arm broke through the ripples and he snatched at it.

  As soon as he could get a grip of Tarli's limp body the giant pushed Dom back into the water, slung the boy across her shoulder and set off at a run through the trees.

  Dom hauled himself out, painfully and shamefacedly, on the rocks at the far side of the pool. He coughed up water and waited for the pounding in his head to stop. .

  He heard the swish of a blade, and threw himself backwards. Underwater he blundered into a thicket of finger-thick cabling, and surfaced again in a clump of waterlilies. Sharli glanced at him, and let the tip of the blade take another two-foot slice out of the black rock where his fingers had been.

  'He was only playing,' she hissed in perfect janglic. 'He is the second-best shamuri in the galaxy, and he was only playing. But you had to win!'

  'I am not playing,' she added. The sword sizzled round her head and took a thick copper branch off a nearby tree without noticeably slowing.

  Dom dived and came up at the far side of the pool, scrambling out as she came round after him. His discarded body armour still lay in the gravel. He groped in it feverishly. It couldn't withstand a shamsword that could cut through rock. The padding was just to take the force of the blow - there must be a static field to turn that impossibly-sharp edge...

  He didn't see the blow. There was no sensation except for a faint glimmer of green. The piece of breastplate he was holding was just in two pieces, that was all. The singlet had become a doublet. It was no consolation to see sheared field components dribble out on to the ground.

  'I will cut you up.' she said. 'A bit at a time. Starting with the extremities ! '

  The tip of the sword drew a thin line across his arm only because Dom had moved with commendable speed.

  'You say your death won't be yet,' she said. 'Can you be so sure, hey?'

  Dom winced and closed his eyes. The sword caught him in the neck. He opened his eyes, and felt her contemptuous glare as he touched his neck sheepishly.

  'You wait till you nod your head. I hit you with the flat, fool!' she said, walking up to him and standing on tiptoe to bring her hand across in a stinging slap. 'Boastful, boorish, barbarian boy ! '

  His feet fought for purchase on the edge as he teetered over the pool, and then for the third time he hit the water bodily and came up shaking his head and gasping. Sharli pointed the sword at him, trembling.

  'If he is dead, boy, if he is dead...' She picked up a small rock and threw it inexpertly at his head. When he broke surface again she was a small figure riding between the trees.

  Dom let the water stream off him, and lay on the gravel watching the ants. They had appeared from everywhere to congregate around the branch that she had cut down. While he watched, it fell neatly in two, and he saw the tiny blue pinpoint of an electronic cutter. The smaller piece was dragged quickly across the gravel to a hatchway that had appeared in the tree.

  Dom took his grav sandals and the shamsword and walked back to the horse. It looked at him sympathetically and said nothing. He rode off thoughtfully.

  High up on the stump of the branch a minute crane was being jostled into position and scaffolding had appeared. The myrmidon reconstruction crew had already set to work. Further up, where the silicon-chip leaves drank in the sun and tinkled in the breeze, another insect watched them impassively. It had camera eyes, and it was not a Laoth make.

  A spider watched it, and thought of electricity.

  11

  'We are an old race. We have enjoyed all that the galaxy has to offer - I myself have seen the black mouth in the centre of the galaxy, and the bright dead stars beyond - and therefore as a race we must be doomed. You seek new experience as a pseudo-human; I study the birth of hydrogen in the interstellar abyss with the race called Pod. We sublimate our Creapiness, because it stifles us. Where do we go from here?'

  Personal letter from His Furness CRabE + 687° to His Furness CReegE + 690°, reprinted in the anthology Post Joker

  'Enter.'

  Dom pushed open the door.

  Tarli was lying on his stomach, reading. He glanced up and grinned. 'Come on in.'

  Dom entered sheepishly and dumped the grav sandals on the bed.

  'Yours,' he said. Tarli touched them thoughtfully.

  'Yes,' he said, doubtfully, and switched off the cube.

  'Gravity was on my side and I cheated and, well...' said Dom miserably.

  'You're soaked,' said Tarli. He clapped his hands. There was a rush of air from one corner of the room and a young drosk appeared, took an order for clothing and a towel, and vanished. A moment later she was back.

  'Have your people got, um, rigid rules about bodily exposure?' asked Tarli. 'If so, the ablution room is through there.'

  Dom pulled his sodden shirt over his head and grunted.

  'Only we get all sorts here, you see. Okay, Chaquaduc.' He clapped his hands again and the bowing figure disappeared. Dom glanced up.

  'That's pretty neat. Field transference? Grandmother won't have it in the house. She says it's a wicked waste of power.'

  Tarli held up his hand. 'Inductance surfaces under the skin, yes. It's a tradition with us. It impresses guests. Here.'

  Dom caught a dragonskin belt and buckled it around a loose fitting robe intricately worked in yellow and grey silk. The Laothian boy opened an enamelled closet and handed him a smaller version of the sword.

  'Hey!'

  'It's only a koto. Purely ceremonial. Please accept it. Apart from anything else, by custom it's a mortal insult if you don't. I'd have to fight you again, with swords and without armour. And before that I'd have to teach you to use it.' He glanced sidelong at Dom's neck, 'You've been getting a few lessons anyway, I hear.'

  Dom's hand flew to his neck and he winced, not just from the bruises.

  'I thought Laothian girls went in more for flower arranging,' he muttered.

  Tarli grinned. 'Oh yes? The nearest flowers to us are on Boon-dock, the next planet out. The biggest ones are motile roses - you have to get the plant in an arm-lock before you can prune it.'

  'I bet she'd be good at it.'

  'Pretty good, probably. She's first on the shamsword lists, that's out of about five hundred true shamuri. You have to be expert to get on the lists'.

  Dom fingered the blade of the koto and grunted.

  'Archery, now, I'm better at that. She hasn't got the patience. Sharli's only about thirtieth in the list.'

  'Anything she's not good at?'

  'There's our third national pastime.'

  'What's that? Pig-sticking? Crushing rocks with the fingers?'

&nb
sp; 'No. Micro-circuitry design. It's an art, you know . Come on, it's time for dinner.'

  Dom was surprised as they made their way towards the main hall. He was on Laoth, a world that made the best shipware and Class Five minds that were classed as humans, and he had seen no robots apart from the horse and the mechanisms in the garden. Laothians obviously didn't like to surround themselves with their creations.

  As they walked through a hall lined with lacquered panels, Tarli said slowly: 'Father is very annoyed.'

  'About me?'

  'Indirectly, yes. It wasn't your coming here - he likes visitors. It's just that we are getting some uninvited ones. How many days before you discover Jokers World?'

  'After tonight, three days.'

  'Have you got any ideas?'

  'Some,' said Dom noncommittally.

  'I hope so,' said Tarli. 'There's fifty ships hanging around our system now, waiting for you to make a move. Some of them are toting weaponry, too. Terra Novae has got a whole fleet. There's even a class of a hulk from Whole Erse, it's probably the only one they have got. There's going to be a real shoot-out when you lead them to Jokers World. And, uh, what's worrying Father . . . '

  'You can put his mind at rest. I don't think the Jokers had anything to do with Laoth,' said Dom quickly.

  Tarli sighed with relief. 'The trouble they're putting us to!' he went on. 'We have to send out squads every hour to clear up these bugs United Spies are dropping round the palace. They crawl into every crevice - look at that one!'

  A thing like a jewelled praying mantis was creeping along the top of one of the coloured panels. It tried to scurry away as they approached, but Tarli flicked it on to the floor with the end of his sword and crushed it.

  'Looks like a standard Earth model,' he said. 'See what I mean?'

  'The message behind all this is that you're glad to see me but you'd be even happier to see me go,' said Dom.

  Tarli said hurriedly: 'Please don't take it the wrong way. I'll tell you one thing, we'll make sure you go vertically, and protected. Still, you're not our only worry. Have you heard about the bank disappearing?'

  Dom shook his head.

  'Nothing like it has happened before.'

  The hall doors swung open before them. There were only eight for the meal. The round table had been collapsed back into the memory-store, and a plain Laothian dining mat spread in its place. Besides Tarli and Dom there was Joan, Keja, the Emperor, Sharli, Hrsh-Hgn and a small dapper Laothian. The children's drosk servants stood behind them, and Isaac moved over to place himself behind Dom. He was holding Ig.

  'Thanks,' said Dom, taking the creature. 'Where has he been? And how about you?'

  'Just looking around the old place, boss. Ig's sort of the unofficial mascot of the bug-clearing crews - he can really root them out.'

  Sharli looked up and blushed when Dom saw her.

  The main course, kai shellfish, was eaten in silence, except for the efforts of a phnobic trio playing chlong at the other end of the hall.

  A cool night breeze brought the tinkling of the leaves of the robot garden floating into the room.

  The Emperor, with great ceremony, poured out a syrupy clear liquid that was deceptively light on the tongue and burned in the throat. The servants disappeared at a handclap. The trio hurried to the end of a phrase, unstrung their instruments and hurried away.

  'Now,' said the Emperor. 'Let us talk.'

  'Spies?' murmured Joan, into her glass. The Emperor raised his eyebrows.

  'But of course, my dear,' he said. 'Over there the inq-player in the trio deposited an Ear before he left, my son's droskservant reports regularly to their unpronounceable planet, and this room swarms with bugs and pinpoints. This very gentleman on my left' - the dapper man smiled - 'is an accomplished spy. His name is Magane. One of his many jobs is to spy upon me. He reports to me regularly in case I act ill-advisedly. Where is Jokers World?' he ended abruptly.

  Dom ran a finger round the edge of his glass.

  'You have a mere seventy-two hours to discover it,' Ptarmigan prompted.

  'That's unfair!' said Keja.

  'He doesn't have to tell me.'

  'I think I'm getting the idea, ' said Dom mildly. 'I can feel the edges of a concept. The dark side of the sun... it's a bit non-committal, isn't it? Perhaps it refers to another set of dimensions?'

  'You don't believe that,' said the Emperor. 'And neither do I. Jokers World is a singularity in this continuum. Probability suggests that this is the only universe in which they existed, although we can't locate them through math. My belief is that they were a billion to one chance that only cropped up in our particular space time.'

  'I think so too,' said Dom. 'There are only four to five examples of life apart from the races in the life bubble, and they are big and - well, not life as we think of it. Like the Bank or Chatogaster. With them life is just another attribute, like mass or age. No, I think the Jokers were the first life-as-we-can-grasp-it in the galaxy, and I agree with the idea that they probably got our own shows on the road. I don't know why I agree. It just seems right.'

  'I don't know about this idea,' said Keja. The Emperor smiled.

  'You see, my dear, the universe has no time for life. By rights it shouldn't exist. We don't realize the odds.'

  Dom nodded. 'We're so used to the idea of life as an essential part of the universe,' he said. 'Even in pre-Sadhim times we peopled other stars with imaginary beings and kidded ourselves that life off Earth was an odds-on chance. We didn't want to be alone.'

  'Nor did the Jokersss,' said Hrsh-Hgn , leaning forward. 'So they altered chancess . . . '

  'They peopled the stars too, only they must have been biological geniuses. They filled every ecological niche, too, from cool suns to frozen space . . . ' Dom began. Then he stopped.

  He knew about the Jokers. Other sentences thronged in his head, floated like icebergs in his mind. They had entered of their own accord - or had been put there.

  He knew all about the Jokers. He remembered how they felt, surveying the empty planets, knowing the inbuilt block that every race ran up against eventually - the limitations of their evolutionary outlook...

  He saw Jokers World, and sat stunned. The others carried on talking. The conversation coiled round him unheeded.

  'The dark side of the sun sounds poetic,' said Keja brightly. 'How about Screamer and Groaner?'

  'The Internal Planetss of Protosstar Five?' said Hrsh-Hgn. 'Far too hot, and short-lived. They did not exist ten thousand yearss ago. So radioactive, too.'

  'You're talking as if Jokers are human,' said Keja. 'It's never been proved. Couldn't they be silicoid? Look at the Creapii.'

  'How about Rats?'

  It was Tarli. He looked at their faces and shrugged.

  'Well, we know what things are like on its planet. And the reversed-entropy situation might fit the Dark Side of the Sun saying.'

  'The Creapii say any creatures on Tenalp can't possibly be intelligent,' said Ptarmigan sharply. 'And we'll have no more talk about that world in this place.'

  'I think it's Earth,' said Joan firmly. The Emperor turned.

  'That's a very homocentric statement. Can you justify it?'

  She nodded. 'It's an old theory, after all. The Jokers were human, and I mean human human — sorry, Hrsh-Hgn, but you know what I mean - and they finally settled on Earth long before we were anything more than apes. They interbred with us eventually. Circumstantial evidence points to this. A lot of aliens consider the Jokers were human. Earth was the only planet apart from the Creapii homeworld to produce a race capable of reaching even its satellite... thirdly, Earthmen are the sort who would build something like the Chain Stars or the Centre of the Universe, just for the hell of it. Lastly, Earth is the home of the Joker Institute. It practically runs the planet. Half the directors of the Board of Earth are also in the Institute management committee. And the theory runs that the whole shooting match is run by a clique of pure-blooded Jokers as a sly way of thwarting
Joker studies. They have made attempts on Dom's life, for their ridiculous reasons. They don't want Jokers World found by anyone, but themselves.'

  Hrsh-Hgn coughed. 'I sshould point out that ssimilar theoriess have been current with phnobes, drosks, Creapii, tarquins, sspoonerss and a sscore of otherss. Every race sseess itsself in the Jokerss. The Creapii ssay, who but Creapii could amasss the knowledge to capture the Centre of the Universse? The phnobess ssay, who but phnobes would have the insight into Totality to fasshion the Chain Sstars sso perfectly? The sspoonerss say, who but such ass we could have the reimtole into gramepe to sset the Maze? The tarquins broadcast, who but—'

  'Point made,' said the Emperor.

  'There is only one Sun in the universe,' said Dom.

  They watched him struggle with his thoughts.

  'It's simple,' he said, and looked perplexedly at their expressions, 'there are plenty of stars, but the real Sun, the red bright thing is intelligent life.'

  It was tantalizingly close. He saw through them and beyond the room, into the cosmospolitan world of the fifty-two known races, and inside that, snug as the yolk in the egg, the world of the Jokers on the dark side of the Sun.

  He wondered if the knowledge was being fed into his mind, and decided against it. He could provide too clear a chain of reasoning. All the loose ends tied up neatly, just like in a good probability math equation.

  He had thought his father went knowingly to his death, as a good probability mathemagician should do. But his father had also been going to ...

  He heard a damp sizzle. Someone said: 'This really is too bad.' Someone was standing in the doorway.

  Ways frowned into the muzzle of his molecule stripper and stepped further into the room.

  'Good evening, Your Eminence, and assembled gentry. Now, at this point someone usually makes an impassioned call for the guard.'

  The walls disappeared. Three guards fired at Ways simultaneously, and disappeared in clouds of light dust.

  'The essence of the molecule stripper is the little matrix engine which can, in very rare circumstances, arc over and reverse the field,' said Ways. 'I believe that just happened.'

 

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