by Claire Adams
"Chloe. Please, don't cry. You're killing me. Seriously."
"You have three minutes to tell me what's up and then I'm out of here."
The waitress interrupted with a smile on her face. "Can I get you kiddos a drink?"
"Coke," I mumbled and picked up the menu and subsequently a napkin to wipe my eyes.
"I'll have the same. Can we get some house chips, too?" Finn's voice was soft and left me wanting to look up and watch him for a minute.
I wanted to crawl into his arms and make the feeling that we were over before we started go away.
I glanced up. "What happened? Did you find another friend that fits your needs better than me? Was it because I didn't spend the night?"
His face grew red as he leaned in and barked at me between clenched teeth. "I'm not the man you think I am. I'm not looking for another girl to screw. Stop acting like I'm trash or I'll get up and walk out of this place and whatever was happening between us can go to hell."
I nodded and put my menu down. I was leaving. Dad could keep his money and Finn could keep his heart. I didn't want either.
"Finn Warner! Oh my goodness." A bombshell blonde with huge breasts slid into the booth across from me and wrapped Finn in a side hug, kissing his cheek several times before he could push her off.
I should have gone, but the sadist in me needed to see him push another woman off, a woman who he had no clue of who she was or what her name was. It would remind me what a piece of trash he was when I was lamenting in my bed later that night.
Wow. How quickly had things gone from good to really bad?
"Kari..."
He knew her name. My eyebrow rose and I turned to the girl, who completely ignored me as if I wasn't there.
"Finn. What are you doing here? I thought you were traveling to see family." She finally glanced my way and smiled. "Hey. I'm Kari."
"I'm Baby. Nice to meet you." I extended my hand and shook hers as I pinned Finn with a stare.
"Kari is a friend from a long time ago, Chloe." He let out a sigh and pushed at her a little. "Scoot over."
"I'm his girlfriend from high school. We keep in touch," she said. She wagged her eyebrows at me and I pursed my lips as bile rose in my throat.
"That's awesome. Finn and I are just skiing buddies."
"Is that what you're calling it now? Skiing?" She laughed loudly.
"No, literally. Just friends. Like no sex, nor the promise of it." I shrugged and lifted my eyebrows at her, hoping to shock the hell out of her.
I pulled up my phone and laughed. "Oh, damn. Looky there. Something has come up. I have to go, but guess what, Kari, it's your lucky day, hun. You can have my seat. You guys catch up and do what you do when you get together."
I got out of the booth and walked to the door. I made it outside before he caught up with me and pulled me back.
"What the hell was that?" He was pissed.
I slapped him, hard. "That was me saying goodbye. Fuck off and find someone else to play with. I'm done."
"You mean you're not available." He tightened his grip on me.
"Let me go, Finn. I have no clue what you're talking about."
"Sure, you don't." He released me. "Brian told me about your boyfriend back home, Chloe. I thought maybe you'd lied to him, but then Parker told me it was true. When was I going to find out? Or was I not going to? I mean, really, does that make me the whore? Or you?"
His words were a harder slap than my hand hitting his face would ever be.
"I broke up with Seth before leaving California because there was nothing left between us. I prayed for a brown-haired boy with warm eyes and a big heart." Tears spilled onto my cheeks. "Someone that needed my love and would help me heal past becoming cold toward life. I thought I found him, but I was wrong."
I turned and jogged to my car as the world seemed to crash in around me. I had pinpointed exactly why Finn was so important. Somewhere deep inside of me where the crazy idea of true love existed, I thought maybe he was my someone.
I pulled out of the parking lot and drove home crying over the fear of having to grow up and the anxiety of not being enough for my father. My heart broke over Finn thinking that I was the type of woman that would cheat on someone, and yet I realized how stupid I was being. He didn't know me.
"It's been a few weeks. Pull it together." I drove up to the house and turned the engine off before letting my head drop back and closing my eyes.
It had been so long since I'd felt the pain of loss that it was almost a welcomed reminder that I was alive. It didn't take more than a few minutes to understand why people protected themselves. It was necessary to survive in a world where people took and took and took and rarely gave.
My phone buzzed, and I picked it up.
Jessie: You're on my mind. I miss you. You okay?
Me: Just got my heart broken, but other than that...I'm good.
Jessie: By Seth?
Me: No, a guy out here who's my dream guy.
The phone rang, which scared the hell out of me. I answered it and sat back, knowing Jessie would want details.
"What the hell? I told you that you were going to meet him. I'm psychic. I knew it!" Her voice was full of excitement, which was a little odd after my confession.
"Yeah, you're right. He's out here, and he's a total ass."
"Well, that part’s not good. I thought maybe it was Seth."
"No. We broke up when I left. Besides, I think he's already moved on. He's not texting at all anymore, which is good. He can be someone else's problem."
"So, about that..." Jessie stopped and realization rolled over me.
She was Seth's someone. That's why she kept asking about him and nudging me toward finding someone else.
Right. When it rains it pours.
I hung up without another word and turned my phone on silent. Surely, my dad had a liquor cabinet. If not, I could call a cab and head back down to the club. The cute bartender would serve me beer and peanuts all night, no doubt.
Numbness settled over the center of me and I walked into the house and slammed the door behind me.
"Chloe?" My father's voice scared me, and I jumped.
"Dad?" I pulled myself together and walked into the kitchen to find him standing over a bottle of rum.
"Yeah. I canceled the trip. Sorry if you'd planned for a wild party. Consider it ruined." He gave me a smile.
I sat down at the bar across from him and nodded at the bottle. "Got an extra glass?"
"You've been crying...why?" He got out the glass and sat it in front of me.
"Where do I start?" I sniffled and wiped my nose with the back of my hand.
"From the beginning?" He poured me a drink and filled his back up. "Tell me all about it."
"Let's see...my best friend back at home is dating my ex-boyfriend. Mind you, we just broke up the day I came here. I assume they were sleeping together before now. Things happened too fast for something to not have been up." I took a drink as my father nodded.
"Yes. I've had that done to me, and I've done it to a few friends. People are dicks. It's a common trait among most of us." He took a drink, too.
"Right. I'm scared shitless that after all the time and energy that I've put into my degree that I'll end up with nothing, being nothing." I took another drink. "I don't want to let you down, but I don't want to let me down, either."
"I don't see that future at all for you, but I understand your fears. I've had them for my own life."
"When you were a kid?"
"No. When your mother died. I wasn't sure where to go from there, but I figured it out. You will, too." He reached over and touched my cheek. "You're going to be incredible at anything you do because you’re brilliant and you’re passionate. It's a winning combination."
"I've fallen in love with someone since coming here and he broke my heart tonight." I finished the liquor and let out a growl. "It's been like nine days or something and I've never felt like this before. I don't love easily, and
I've promised myself never to love deeply, and yet..."
"You can't help yourself, right?" He gave me a knowing smile.
"Right." I tapped the glass on the counter. "More."
He filled it up again and I was grateful for him being home. It was weird, but simply getting the pain off my chest left me feeling better.
"If he's the one, then you're sitting in the wrong place right now. True love doesn't give up, baby." He pushed the glass back toward me. "Your mother broke my heart a million times before we were married, but I wouldn't stop. I was relentless, and you know what?"
"What, Dad?" Tears blurred my gaze again. Finn was angry because he was hurt. There was a reason behind it. It wasn't at all what I thought it was, but somehow, I was ready to throw in the towel and pretend as though I wasn't feeling the incredible pain that I was feeling over him. The pain was proof of the emotion that lay underneath it. Whether it made sense or not, I wanted him by my side. In my bed. In my life.
"The hurt faded over the years as your mother worked to show me how much she loved me. It took little time at all before we were completely and totally one in all things." He looked up at the ceiling and let out a painful sound. "I miss her so much."
"I know you do, but she would want you to move on. You know she would." I got up and walked into the kitchen to wrap my arms around him.
He wrapped his strong arms around me, too, and I sunk into his hold, needing it so bad.
"I know she would. I'm trying, but doing it all wrong. I'll work on it. You don't give up on this boy. Deal?"
I nodded as I held back my tears. "Deal."
Chapter 18
Finn
Kari could not have shown up at a worse time.
Did I really call Chloe a whore? I walked back into the restaurant as sickness rolled over me. No way I'd done that. I would never insult a woman that way – especially not someone like Chloe.
I had. Dammit.
"There you are." Kari moved up and slipped her arm through mine. "Who was that, really? I know you, and you do not have female friends."
I pulled my wallet out of my back pocket and laid a twenty on the table before jerking my arm out of hers.
"Kari. Stop. Shit." I looked up at her and put my wallet up. "Leave me alone. Okay?"
"Finn. We've been friends for a long time. Don't close up on me." She moved closer, but I held up my hand.
"I'm serious. Now is not the time."
"I just want to help." She puffed her bottom lip out in a pout.
"By sliding into the seat across from a girl I was with and pawing at me?" I knew my voice was getting a little too loud, but I was done with people using me. "Who were you helping? Yourself?"
She got in my face and pressed her finger to my chest. "Don't you try to get all high and mighty. You might be turning a new leaf, but you're still the same old guy. Always looking to score and break some girl's heart in the morning. We all have you figured out. That poor girl needed saving. I saved her."
I laughed sardonically and pushed her hand off my chest. "Yeah. You bitches see what you want to see. I don't care."
Turning, I moved out of the restaurant and walked to my truck. I was grateful Chloe had forced us to take separate rides. The last thing I wanted to do was walk home after the mess I'd made between us.
I texted Brian to meet me at the bar near my place and headed that way. He lied to me or she lied to him. I needed to know which. Someone owed me a damn apology because I wasn't going to be the only one on my knees this time. I'd been there too many times in the last twelve years and I was tired of it.
I drove like a bat out of hell as I tried to think through how to get Chloe to see me again. I just needed to apologize for how ugly I'd been. She wasn't a whore. I was. I didn't need to leave things like that with her.
Her words rang through my head again and I growled low in my chest. Had she broken up with the football guy? Was she really looking for a guy like me or did she make that shit up to cover her tracks?
The authentic hurt in her face told me that she was telling the truth, but I was terrified of playing the fool. It was easier to tuck my feelings back deep down inside of me and just go around as the town dick. it was better than being a broken man with nothing left to offer anyone.
I parked and walked in, slowing my stride and putting my facade in place. There was no reason to let anyone see me upset. It would just cause talk amongst the locals and leave me looking like an idiot.
"Hey." Brian lifted his hand in the air.
"Hey." I sat down and nodded to his beer as Pauly walked up. "I'll have a Budweiser, too."
"You bet, Finn. Good to see you, son." He stuck out his hand and I shook it.
"You too, Pauly." I turned to Brian. "Chloe said she doesn't have a boyfriend, Brian."
"And, you're surprised by this?" He chuckled and lifted his beer to his lips.
"Yeah, actually, I am. Did she seem like the kind of woman that would have two men?"
"No, not at all, but it's usually women like her that you have to watch out for." He shrugged.
"What? Why?"
"She's classy, beautiful, brilliant, and has the world waiting for her next move. Girls like her know how to lie, how to look the part, and it leaves us guessing. I don't like it, Finn."
"I don't care what you think she is or isn't. What I care about is whether she really told you that she's dating someone."
"Yeah, Finn. I've known you my whole fucking life. I wouldn't lie to you." He turned away from me and took another drink of his beer.
"What exactly did she say? Lay it on me." I'd forced myself to calm down, not wanting to upset him. He was my best friend and there was no way he wouldn't shoot straight with me over a girl. We'd been friends for far too long and been through a ton of shit together.
"She said that she was glad she got to go out dancing. Her boyfriend back in California is the jealous type and never lets her get out and have a little bit of harmless fun." He rolled his eyes and let out a long sigh. "It was something to that tune. She said she had a man, and I was just warning you. She's lying to you or she was lying to me."
She might have lied to Brian to save him from asking her out. She was that type of girl to save a poor guy from looking too much liked an idiot. Her character just screamed goodness. The memory of her bringing the cup of hot chocolate to me a few days back rose behind my eyelids and my heart contracted painfully. Sitting in her kitchen and talking about nothing had been so damn nice. So right.
"What are you thinking?" Brian asked.
"That I need to get her back. I fucked things up tonight because her brother validated what you just said and I was angry with her." I shrugged. "I should have been a man and just asked her about it, but I didn't. I acted like a brat and treated her like she didn't matter, which honestly, couldn't be farther from the truth."
"You just met her, Finn. Don't you think you're being a little irrational about this?"
"Not at all." I glanced over at him and took a swig of my beer. "But then again, I believe in love. I've tried to pretend like I don't so I don't have to hurt so much, but the honest to God truth is that I believe in it."
"And, you should," Pauly butted in, leaning toward us and staring me in the face. "I met my wife on the dance floor one night thirty years ago. It was an old country hoedown in Kentucky and the minute I saw her, I knew. Sounds silly, but that's because it doesn't happen to everyone. Those of us who are struck with its overwhelming power know the truth of it, though. If you've felt it, you better not let it go, Finn. It don't come around but once in a life, and sometimes not even once."
"That sounds great, Pauly, but I've never felt like that. Not once." Brian sat back and lifted his eyebrow at the old barkeep.
"Just because you've never tangibly seen gravity, you can't deny that it exists, Brian. It's a force, just like love is. Stop being ignorant and open yourself up to the possibility that somewhere in the world there a woman just for you. When you see her, time
stands still and you find yourself willing to-”
I cut him off as I stared at the liquor bottles behind him. "To do anything for her. You'll give up your own dreams, cut family ties, or move across the country for her. Anything to have her as yours."
"That's it. Don't let that go, Finn. The world will pull it away from you. Fix it and hold tight to that girl. She's the one." He winked and moved back, his words leaving me breathless.
"I don't know if I believe that, but I wish I did." Brian turned to me. "I didn't mean to cause you any trouble. You're like a brother to me. When she said she was dating someone, I told you. No way was I keeping that from you. You'd have done the same."
I finished the beer and shook my head. "I know, buddy. I'm sorry I blew up."
"It's all good. What can I do to help?"
"I'm not sure yet, but if I think of something, I'll call."
"You heading out?"
"Yeah. I need to see if she'll see me. I doubt it, but I'm going to try."
"Just be careful. Her old man is a financial mogul. He's a dick, too. I had a run in with him a few years back. It took me a day to put two and two together after her friend said her last name the other night."
"Her father owns a clothing line, right?" I glanced over at him, praying I wasn't about to uncover another lie.
"Yeah, he does, but he owns a chuck of this city and has massive stock investments, too. When we say wealthy, that's a big understatement."
"She just doesn't come off as someone with loads of money."
"I agree." Brian shrugged and finished his beer. "Come on. I'll walk you out."
I lifted my hand in the air and waved. "Night, Pauly. Thanks for the advice."
"Don't leave it here. Take it with ya and do something with it." He winked and went back to wiping down the bar.
"I will." I walked out into the freezing cold and turned, feeling better about everything. It was going to be a bitch to get Chloe to listen to me, but the resolve to not give up felt good – like I had purpose.
"What are you going to do if she won't see you?" Brian asked, moving to his car and pausing.