Here, in Dublin, there’s this lake, and when the light hits it just right, it’s the same colour as your eyes. The first time we met, I felt ten years younger because your eyes reminded me of home. Then you opened your mouth, and I felt fifteen years too old to want you as badly as I did.
Remy swallowed hard, hoping he didn’t cry. He couldn’t stop the feelings racing through him.
You didn’t notice me right away. Obviously, you saw me as your trainer, but you didn’t look at me the way I always looked at you until six months after you signed up for my program. I’m not sure why you noticed me that night. It’s almost funny that you did. I’d told myself earlier that same day I needed to let go of the fantasy of having you. You were becoming an obsession to me. I worried if you started seeing someone, I’d snap his neck.
A chuckle slipped from Remy without his permission. He could see Aden saying such a thing.
I’m twelve years older than you. Every day, I was hyper-aware of that age gap, until the day you kissed me.
Remy lifted his gaze from the letter and met Aden’s stare. “You kissed me first,” he said before going back to reading. At the next line, a low laugh escaped him.
I know you’ll argue I kissed you first, but it was you. You were sitting on my desk and I went to reach past you for something—I can’t even remember what now—and I think you thought I was coming in for a kiss. I wasn’t. You kissed me.
“Are you fucking kidding me? All this time, I thought you made the first move, and it was me?”
Aden’s eyes shone bright with laughter. “Sorry. It was you. If it makes you feel any better, I’m definitely the one who swiped everything from the desk, intent on getting inside you.”
Remy sniffed, trying to decide if he was mollified. “I suppose.” He went back to reading.
With one brush of lips on lips, you blew me away. All the fantasies I’d had about you were nothing compared to the real thing. I wanted to crawl under your skin and live there. Before that kiss, I honestly thought I’d been in love a time or two in my life. Once our lips met, I knew the truth. You were the first real love I’d ever experienced. It didn’t matter that you hadn’t noticed me before that night or if you’d ever return my feelings. You made me groan in exasperation and laugh aloud at your ridiculous antics. When you were around, I smiled and dreamed. I hoped.
Remy blinked, trying to make the page come back into focus after his eyes filled with tears. His heart ached like it would never be happy again because he remembered those days too clearly. He wanted them back.
Honestly, I don’t imagine I’ll ever send this letter. A huge part of me thinks I’ll get better and, when I do, I’ll hunt you down and dog your heels until I’ve made you see my life is meaningless without you. The thing is, I noticed your eyes first. I can still close my eyes and picture the way you looked at me when you told me you loved me. Damn, Remy, I don’t know if I can survive replacing that image with one of how you’ll look at me when you tell me you hate me.
It was getting harder not to cry. When Aden had ripped his heart out, Remy had been furious. He’d been angrier and more hurt than he’d ever been in his life, but nothing compared to how he’d felt when Aden tried killing himself. Every day, he’d fought the urge to hop the first flight and sit outside the rehabilitation center. They wouldn’t have let Remy see him, but goddamn. He wanted to be there and wished things were different.
I can’t think about that right now. One day at a time, right? Instead, I think I’ll go to bed and remember that kiss. Damned if you didn’t kiss me like you’d been fantasizing about me too. Jesus. I miss you.
Remy flipped through the rest of the pages. Each one had a theme. The next was his smile. There was one about his hands. He almost stopped to read that one because it was a lot naughtier than the rest. Instead, Remy set the letters aside and focused on Aden. The man’s expression bordered on crazed. It was obvious he was braced for any reaction from Remy.
“Do you trust me?”
Aden didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
“Strip.” This was the only way Remy knew how to fix the fear in Aden’s eyes.
Without missing a beat, Aden pushed his chair away from the table and peeled his clothes off item by item until he stood nude.
“Sit down.”
Aden sat.
“Don’t move.”
Remy swore Aden held his breath at the order. He tried not to think about what he was doing. In fact, Remy tried to keep his mind completely blank. That letter—fuck. It didn’t answer any of the questions he wanted to ask, but fuck. In the bedroom, he quickly found what he was looking for and headed back to the table. Aden still sat where Remy left him. If Remy wasn’t mistaken, the man hadn’t moved a muscle. Remy bit his lip to keep from laughing.
“Do you remember our last Valentine’s Day together?”
Aden’s chest expanded. Oh yeah, he remembered. “Aye.”
“Do you still trust me that much?”
“Aye. I’d trust you with everything.”
“Good,” Remy said. Even to his ears, he sounded breathless. He urged Aden’s wrists to the arms of the chair and wound a belt around each one, holding the man in place. Remy prayed he still had the same patience he’d shown back then. This torture wasn’t Aden’s alone. If anything, it was worse on Remy. Aden’s dick was already hard and standing at attention. “You know how this works,” Remy reminded him. “Scoot all the way to the edge of the chair.”
Aden slumped down in his seat until he ass nearly hung from the chair. Remy pushed the table away from them. Once he made room for another chair, he pulled up a seat and sat down across from Aden. Remy opened the bottle of lube he’d brought with him from the bedroom. After dumping a huge amount into his palm, Remy wrapped his fingers around Aden’s cock, smearing oily liquid all over the man’s skin. With Aden’s dick coated in the shiny liquid, Remy dipped lower, ensuring the man’s balls and asshole got the same treatment. One handful of lube wasn’t enough for Remy. He wanted Aden washing for ten minutes to get all this stuff off later.
Aden’s hips left the chair when Remy added a second hand to the mix. He pumped the man’s cock with one hand while massaging Aden’s balls with the other. Aden never broke eye contact. Remy’s dick beat at the zipper on his pants. He ignored the discomfort. The unabashed way Aden owned his pleasure was mesmerizing. His ass left the seat, chasing after Remy’s touch. Aden’s mouth opened in a silent scream. His muscles strained. He fucked Remy’s fist, openly taking everything he wanted. Remy jacked and twisted with one hand. With the other, he massaged Aden’s asshole. The man’s moans filled the room. Remy slipped one finger inside Aden’s ass.
“Shit. Oh my God,” Aden cried. His every hard line stood out under the strain. Remy purposely slowed his pace, pulling Aden away from the edge. Even as he kept Aden from orgasming, Remy worked another finger inside Aden’s ass.
“You’re so fucking sexy, darling,” Remy praised. The effort Aden made to hold eye contact showed how strong Aden’s will was. “I honestly think I could ignore my body’s needs forever to see to yours. That’s how much I love watching you on the edge.”
“When I get inside you, I’m going to make you beg,” Aden promised. His voice had turned guttural.
“I don’t doubt it.”
“You’ll scream my name.”
Remy’s lips twisted into a smirk. “I always do.”
Aden’s eyes fell closed for a moment. His nostrils flared. When his eyes reopened, Remy’s stomach tied into knots. Remy pumped Aden’s cock at a snail’s pace while fucking the man with his fingers.
“Tell me what you want from me.” Remy’s demand came out in a harsh whisper. Even he wasn’t sure if he meant the question sexually. Since the second Aden arrived, Remy had craved knowing why Aden was there. He didn’t know how much more of this his heart could stand.
“Everything.”
Remy pulled away, leaving Aden hanging. “That’s not a good enough answer.”
&
nbsp; Aden’s nostrils flared again. “I want your gorgeous tight ass riding my dick until we’re both raw from the punishment. I need to hold your stare as I fill your hole with my hot cum.”
Remy stood. Aden’s chin lifted, as if the man was incapable of looking away from Remy. Remy’s hands went to the button on his shorts. Aden’s dick twitched. He’d planned to go slow, dragging out Aden’s torment. Aden’s expression made it impossible. The flush on his cheeks. His swollen lips from chewing on them. It was too much temptation. Remy’s clothes fell away. He didn’t want to be in control any longer. Remy needed Aden’s rough edges. He craved being fucked hard, losing himself in Aden’s passion.
Before he could change his mind, Remy set Aden free. The instant Aden could move, he took Remy to the floor. Remy didn’t try to slow things down. He reveled in Aden’s rough treatment, his biting kisses. Aden’s fingers dug into Remy’s thigh as he shoved Remy’s knee up. His tongue filled Remy’s mouth, cutting off Remy’s cries as his dick filled Remy’s ass. The moment he was fully seated, Aden’s mouth moved to Remy’s ear. His ragged breaths brought chill bumps to Remy’s skin.
“I love you, Remy. Goddamn, my heart. I love you.”
Remy heard the words all the way to his soul. He believed Aden meant them, but Remy couldn’t say it back. It wasn’t that he didn’t feel the same about Aden. The uncertainty of their future had Remy trying to protect his heart in any way he could. Instead, he captured Aden’s mouth. Aden hit all the right places. Incapable of standing another second, Remy palmed his dick and stroked. Between Aden’s cock filling his ass and the sensation of jacking himself off, Remy knew he wouldn’t last long. He was already on edge from playing with Aden. Aden shifted, deepening his strokes. Remy’s orgasm hit. His deep moan vibrated through their kiss. Aden tore his mouth away. His face was near to being animalistic. Waves of ecstasy rolled through Remy. His asshole contracted around Aden’s dick.
“That’s it, my heart. Milk me dry. You’re so feckin’ hot and tight. I want to stay here all night.”
Remy swore his eyes glazed over at Aden’s words. Lust choked him. Another wave of pleasure overtook him. The cords in Aden’s neck stood out as the man tossed his head back, straining toward release. Remy couldn’t look away. When Aden’s orgasm finally hit, Remy swore he heard angels sing.
Cum smeared across their stomachs as Aden lowered his weight on Remy. Remy held on, uncaring if he could breathe. The sound of Aden placing light kisses on the shell of Remy’s ear had Remy’s lips turning up into a smile.
“Damn, my heart,” Aden whispered against his ear. “I love you.” Remy’s eyes fell closed and his grip tightened. Another soft kiss landed across his ear. “It’s okay,” Aden whispered. “I love you enough for the both of us.” Hot tears pressed at the backs of Remy’s eyes. In that moment, everything Remy had lost was clearer than ever before.
Chapter 6
This time, there were two—Paper Pete and Chef Charlie. Paper Pete was still enjoying his banana. Chef Charlie had the white hat and all. Aden didn’t rush through his breakfast as he’d done the day before. Instead, he stared at the two pictures of Remy—sitting side by side—and savored the moment. It was getting close to time for him to go home. There was every probability Remy wouldn’t see him again after this trip. Maybe they were healing the past and not working toward any sort of future. Aden didn’t intend to let a single chance at making a new memory pass him by. Sometimes, having a little of something wonderful was better than nothing at all. For so long, his last memory of Remy had been Remy’s hatred. If he never saw Remy again after this week, at least he could live with himself again.
He chose to drive to No Rival again. This time, he had a plan. He’d enjoyed having dinner waiting on Remy. Perhaps he could do even more for the man tonight. The underground parking lot was packed, making it hard for Aden to find a parking spot, and to his surprise, while searching, he spotted Remy’s car in the lot. Even after fighting for a place to park, Aden was still surprised by the massive number of people filling the club to capacity. Photographers milled around, taking pictures of everyone. Dozens of kids, wearing matching T-shirts, waited patiently for autographs and photo-ops. Equipment had been shoved back out of the way, making room for backdrops. For several minutes, Aden stared at the crowd, unsure of what to do. Finally, he spotted Drew headed in his direction.
“Aden, you made it.”
Aden tried working up a smile. “Aye. What did I make it to?”
Drew’s rumble of laughter brought a genuine smile to Aden’s lips. “Did Remy not tell you? I’m always hosting some sort of charity event. This one is for kids who’ve lost their parents to violent crime. They come in and get their pictures made with the guys. The men sign autographs for them. Of course, the media comes out and draws attention to a worthy cause. Fun is had all around. Now that you’re here, I’m assuming you won’t be opposed to signing some autographs and joining in to help.”
“Anything for a good cause,” Aden said, because what other choice did he have? Plus, he liked helping to raise awareness where he could.
Drew slapped him across the back. If they hadn’t been so well matched in size, the man might’ve knocked Aden off his feet in his enthusiasm. “If you have a minute, I’d like to run something else by you, if I could?”
Aden nodded. “No problem.”
After moving closer, Drew’s expression turned serious. His gray eyes locked on Aden and didn’t move. “I know you have your own place down south, but it’s obvious there’s something between Remy and you.” He trailed off, as if hoping Aden would fill him in on the details. When Aden didn’t volunteer any information, Drew cleared his throat. “Anyhow, I’m hoping whatever is going on with you two, it’ll give you some incentive to stay. See, I’m retiring soon.”
“No.”
Drew shook his head. “You didn’t let me finish.”
“Apologies. It was a knee-jerk reaction. Go on,” Aden said, trying to sound like an adult.
Instead of immediately picking up where he left off, Drew spent a moment eyeing Aden, as if ensuring he wouldn’t interrupt again. “You could make a lot of money working for me.”
“No.”
A bright smile lit Drew’s face. “For a moment there, I really thought you’d let me finish.”
Aden nodded. “I’m trying. My mouth has other plans.” He motioned for Drew to continue. “Just ignore me and keep going.”
“I’d really like to sit down with you before you head back home and have a serious discussion about this. If you don’t like Vegas, you wouldn’t need to stay here. I’m talking about a partnership. There’re five men here who are awesome and ready to take turns at training in my stead, but let’s face it—they’re not me or you. So, I was thinking, maybe I could send some men down your way for a boot-camp-type deal, where you fill in the blanks in their training.”
As Aden listened to Drew’s plan, each breath he took came harder than the last. His chest rose and fell—expanding a bit wider with each inhalation. He didn’t want to panic, but the walls were closing in. There was no way Drew couldn’t see he was freaking the fuck out, but Aden didn’t believe the man would quit pushing until he was honest. The man obviously had a stubborn streak a mile wide.
“There’s a reason I’m not the trainer to the stars any longer.”
“I know,” Drew said, stopping Aden before he was forced to say the words. “If you hang around long enough, you’ll realize I know everything about everyone who steps through my door. Just think about it, okay? You don’t have to let me know today.” Drew stepped away. “Hang out. Sign some autographs. Get to know the guys on a more personal level and come out to the desert with us tonight for the burning of the horses. You’ll find we’re more of a family than a business—a family you might find it harder to walk away from than you think.”
Aden nodded. His earlier panic subsided, turning into morbid curiosity. Apparently, they would be burning horses. “I’ll think about it,” Aden
promised before Drew walked away. Aden wasn’t one-hundred-percent sure that was true. When he’d walked away from training anyone other than Gunnar, Aden hadn’t looked back nor did he care to do so now. The thing was—he loved Remy. He wasn’t sure he wouldn’t go back to hell to be with him.
*
It didn’t occur to Remy until after he arrived at No Rival that he hadn’t let Aden know the club would be closed to people working out today. He should’ve left him a note, but he’d been too busy making the man’s breakfast and positioning all his photos just right. Several times he’d thought to text Aden, but he didn’t want to wake him. After all, Remy had kept the man up all night. An evil smile tugged at Remy’s lips at the thought. He regretted nothing.
“Remy Bergeau.”
Remy turned at the sound his name. Daniel headed his way. “Daniel Long,” Remy said, faking a bright tone.
“Can I get your autograph?”
A snort escaped Remy. “I feel like we have this conversation at least twice a month. Shouldn’t you have it already?”
Daniel shrugged. “I plan to keep asking until you add your phone number at the bottom.” Surprise rendered Remy mute, which was just as well, since Daniel wasn’t finished. “The Sports Report pays for my travel, and I had no intention of missing Drew Alexander or one of his many grand charity events. They’re always a blast. Plus, you’re here, and that’s always fun too.” The heat in Daniel’s light-brown gaze couldn’t be missed as it swept down Remy’s body.
Remy had nothing.
Daniel’s smile turned devilish. “So you really never guessed I have a thing for you? That’s adorable. I guess I’ll hang out just the same. Maybe once you let that bit of knowledge sink in, you’ll choose to have dinner with me after the bonfire tonight.”
Seriously, Remy had nothing.
“By the way,” Daniel said, as if he hadn’t dropped a major bombshell on Remy. “Did Aden Dawley ever get in touch with you? We had an interview a few days back, and he asked where you were training now. I got the impression he intended to come see you. Is he looking to start training you again now that Gunnar and Boston have found their way down south?”
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