Chapter Fifteen
Six days later Randa stared out the window of her hotel room. She’d spent three of them in the hospital. Acetaminophen was her friend the past couple of days. She stroked the fiberglass cast encasing her left hand. It would be months before she was able to play with two hands, but she’d find a way to keep that part of her life going.
A knock preceded the door opening. She turned to greet the newcomer, and the corners of her mouth lifted. Matteo spent his time running the bail bond agency and taking care of her and Melodee. Her smile widened when the little girl raced from behind him and clambered next to her on the window seat. She gave the child a one-armed hug.
“Hey, ladybug. How are you today?” Randa smiled.
“Good. Uncle Matt let me ride in the chair on the way up. He said you were going for a ride.”
Randa looked expectantly at Matteo.
“He’s been asking for you since he woke up from surgery that first night. I told him you weren’t well enough to visit yet.”
Both of them knew that was only to give her time. Randa’s stay in the hospital had been brief. Three days just to make sure she was well enough for the trip to see Lincoln. Now they were in Florida to visit him in the hospital. She’d taken the next few days to allow all that transpired to sink in. Some of it she still couldn’t believe.
She’d had time to think and knew that Lincoln was going to make a full recovery. Her earlier anger returned. She didn’t want to see her husband but knew she had to.
Randa slowly made it to her feet. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”
Matteo stood in front of her, stroked her cheek before he cradled her face between his palms. “You deserve to speak your mind and let him see how much pain he’s caused you.”
“I can’t forgive him for this.”
“Maybe not now, but you will.”
“I don’t want him in the house.”
“That’s fine too.”
“How can you be so understanding and agreeable?” she demanded.
He brushed a kiss against her mouth. “My goal is and has always been to see to your happiness. The one time I didn’t was when I walked away from you. Your marriage came first, and I knew even if I couldn’t be there to love you, Lincoln would.” He swiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “I’m here to support you, and if you don’t want Lincoln in the house, then I’ll make sure it happens.”
She tilted her head. “Really?”
“Right now you don’t need any more stress in your life. You and Melodee are my priority. Love and protect.” He moved back a step. “Whatever it takes to keep you happy and calm.”
She nodded. “Then let’s go.”
* * * *
Randa never did like the sterile antiseptic smell of hospitals, and the intensive care unit of this hospital was no different. She held Melodee’s hand as Matteo guided them through the halls to a room at the end of the corridor. Pacing just outside the door was a toffee-skinned woman. Her pale auburn hair was pulled in a messy ponytail, and she nibbled her thumbnail.
Jacqui’s sweatshirt held a couple of what appeared to be coffee stains, while one jeans leg was smeared with mustard. On a pass she looked up and smiled. Dark circles shadowed her eyes.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Jacqui said, bending to hug Randa as soon as Melodee dropped Randa’s hand. The little girl raced into the room. “He hasn’t stopped asking for you.”
Randa nodded. “I wasn’t well enough to travel yet.”
Jacqui offered another small smile. “I understand.” She stepped closer. “Matteo told me what happened. I mean, what the doctors said.”
“What?”
“Don’t worry. I haven’t said anything to Linc. That’s something he deserves to hear from you.” She touched her sleeve. “Randa, I’m really sorry everything has happened the way it has. You didn’t deserve any of this. Any of this.”
“None of this is your fault, Jacqui. You’ve been up-front and honest with me since day one. It’s Lincoln I have issue with.”
“And you should know that I encouraged him to come clean with you.”
“Did you know about Melodee?” Randa tensed, waiting for her answer.
“Not until two weeks ago. I didn’t even know you and Matteo weren’t seeing each other. When I found out why, I was absolutely livid.” She shook her head. “After everything, he couldn’t allow you to be happy the same way we were. That was it for me. Learning he hadn’t told you about Melodee when he’d known for three months, that was the icing on the cake.” She stared at a point beyond Randa’s shoulder. “Go in and see Lincoln. We can talk later.”
As if hearing those words, Matteo reappeared. “I’ll take her in.” He gripped Randa gently by the elbow and led her inside. She shook off his hand once they neared the foot of the bed. Matteo occupied the chair against the wall, watching.
“C’mon, Melodee,” Jacqui was saying, “Let’s go find an ice cream.”
“Can I have strawberry this time?” the little girl asked as she was led from the room.
Randa blinked several times, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the dimness. Though Matteo had informed her Lincoln was in rough shape, she still wasn’t prepared for the sight of all the tubes and wires running from her husband’s body to the various machines in the room.
She stared at Lincoln, nearly as pale as the white sheets he lay on. The extra fat he’d sported over a week ago seemed to have melted away. A faint beard shadowed his face, calling attention to how thin it had become, but his eyes were clear when he met her gaze.
Now that the initial shock of seeing him in a semifrail condition had worn off, Randa thought she’d feel more sympathy or love or empathy for him and what he’d been through. All she could focus on was the pain he’d caused her. All the lies he’d told, all his selfishness, and she just couldn’t find the love she held for him.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” Lincoln said. His voice was rough and scratchy as if he had laryngitis.
“I’ll heal,” she said.
“I was frantic when Matteo told me you went missing.”
Randa bristled. “I didn’t go missing. I left you, Lincoln. You and Matteo.” She leaned a hip on the mattress.
“Randa.” Matteo half stood from the chair in the corner.
“I’m fine. I’m leaning on the bed.”
He shot her a frown but sat back down.
“We’d come so far, Lincoln, endured so much to get to a point where I could love and trust you again.” She plucked at a string on the covers. “Your affair with Lucy took our family from us and damn near made it impossible for me to have a child. Then you turn around and have a child with Selena.”
“I didn’t know about Melodee until—”
“Three months ago?” she finished. Randa gave a small sad smile when he nodded. “That would be about the time you learned Matteo and I loved each other, and decided you had to do something about that. You couldn’t have your wife in love with another man, especially one who had a past and lied about who he was.”
Lincoln looked away from the accusation in her eyes.
“Matteo told me who he was.”
Her husband gasped and focused on her once more. “He did?” Shock was evident in his tone.
“Do you know why he went to such lengths to protect his real identity? There are wolves in the world, and I met one a week ago. That vile man had no problem killing the gamer who broke my hand, gloating about how he killed you, or telling me how he was going to enjoy raping me while I screamed.” She held Lincoln’s gaze. The horror in his eyes gave her small satisfaction. “Your jealousy brought all that to our doorstep.” Randa dragged a stuttered breath into her lungs. “I can’t do this anymore.
“For years I thought I’d proved I was worthy of your love, but I see now you’re the one who needed to prove you were worthy of mine.” She paused to regain her composure and swipe at the sudden tears misting her eyes. “And I did love you, Lincoln, th
rough the ups and the downs, but you’ve shown me that you can’t give me the same thing.”
Lincoln grasped her hand, his grip weak but determined. “Please, don’t go. I know I messed up and—”
“Yeah. You did. You really did.” She wasn’t going to make this easy for him. Too many times already she’d done that, and he’d taken advantage of her love, her kindness, and forgiveness. “You wanted to open our marriage. I went along with the idea and found a greater happiness and joy I’d never known could’ve existed. I supported you and your relationships and love Jacqui like a sister. You, on the other hand, did everything you could to sabotage me and Matteo. That’s unacceptable. Now you want me to raise your child.” He opened his mouth to say something, and she held up a hand. “No worries. I contacted our attorney to have adoption papers drawn up. In the event something happens to you, I don’t want anyone taking that little girl away from me.” And she didn’t. That little girl was her world now.
He placed his hand over hers.
Randa stood. “I’m pregnant, Lincoln, and I will not be getting a DNA test. Whether you’re involved in this child’s life is up to you.” She tugged her hand from his grip. “Right now I can’t even think straight to being your wife anymore. I need to concentrate on my health and raising children.” She moved from the bed and toward the door.
“I’m leaving, Lincoln. I’m going to find and live the happiness that you’ve chosen to deny me.”
A tear slid from the corner of his eye. “Randa…”
She paused at the privacy curtain. “Maybe I can find love for you again, but today isn’t that day.” Randa left the room and never looked back.
“MATTEO,” LINCOLN CROAKED out.
Matteo stopped, his back to the man in the bed. He schooled his features into what he hoped was a neutral mask and faced him. “Yes?”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
“For everything.”
“Yeah.”
“I mean it.”
Matteo crossed the room and stood at the foot of the bed. “I came back because I love Randa and needed to protect her and you. You heard what she said. She was leaving both of us. Both of us.” He shook his head. “We almost lost her. I almost lost her.” He glanced at the door. “She’s everything to me, Lincoln. Because of what I did and who I was, I could never let my guard down. You and especially Randa gave me something solid. I’m not throwing that away for you or anyone else again.”
Lincoln nodded. “I know.” He swallowed several times before he spoke again. “And she’s pregnant?”
“About three months along, according to the ultrasound.” He couldn’t keep the pride from his voice. To him, it didn’t matter if he was the biological father or not. Just being a part of something so miraculous was a complete joy to him.
“Damn.”
“Yep.”
“Selena? Is it true?”
“She died of exposure.”
Lincoln exhaled. “I think she just wanted to die. She wasn’t doing anything to help extend her life.”
“It was her choice to go as she did. There was nothing you could’ve done.”
“And Randa’s really okay with Melodee? She’s not just putting on a front?”
Matteo studied the man a moment. “You don’t know your wife very well, do you? All Randa ever wanted was a child. To answer your question, those two are damn near inseparable. Apparently they’d met before when Randa rescued her from a fallen dollhouse. I’ve never seen two people bond so fast before. Randa dotes on De, and De simply adores her.”
He walked to the rolling tray and handed Lincoln the cup of water. “Thelma is taking Selena’s death really hard. Thelma has also been very ill. I learned she won’t be alive much longer. That’s why she brought Melodee over while you were gone. Her doctors don’t expect her to live to the New Year.”
“I had no idea. Is there…”
Matteo waved him aside. “I’ve already called in favors to help her and make her more comfortable. She’s asked me not to bring Melodee by. Thelma doesn’t want the little one to see her in her condition. She can no longer get out of bed.”
“Oh no.”
“I also took care of the service for Selena.”
“Why didn’t I hear anything about this? Three people died, and there’s nothing on the news.”
“It’s what I do. No need to call attention to people who need to stay hidden and well protected.”
Silence stretched between them. Machines chimed and beeped. Something dinged in the distance. Somewhere a disembodied voice called for a doctor to call an extension. Despite the gravity, short bursts of laughter could be heard drifting into the room.
“Thank you for bringing her here, for saving her life and taking care of both her and Melodee.”
“No problem.”
“No, really. I know it was a lot. Especially after I forced you to leave.”
“I should really get Randa and take her back to the hotel. She’s high risk, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure she isn’t stressed.”
“She doesn’t want me around,” Lincoln said.
Matteo nodded. “The pool house will be ready for you when you’re released. She did make sure you’d have everything you need for your recovery.”
“But I want her there too.”
“That I cannot guarantee.”
Lincoln averted his gaze.
“I need to get her settled. This has already been too stressful on her.”
“Please. Please take care of her.”
“You have my word. I’d give my life for her.” With that, he left.
* * * *
Lincoln didn’t even turn his head when Jacqui entered the room twenty minutes later. Just like that, he’d lost what mattered most to him because he was too damn stupid to address his issues.
“That bad?”
“She doesn’t want me around.”
“And?”
He faced her. “My wife doesn’t want me in her life anymore. She’s pregnant, and I don’t know if I’m the father.”
“Wow.” Jacqui caressed his face. “I’m so sorry.”
He didn’t want her sympathy. Everything Randa said to him was true, and he was ashamed. He deserved her leaving him, and he didn’t deserve Jacqui. He gently gripped her wrist and lowered her hand to the bed.
“You should leave,” he said suddenly.
“Wha—” Her eyes widened. For a moment tears glistened and threatened to spill. She blinked and drew in a ragged breath.
He shook his head, a rueful smile on his lips. Jacqui. She spoke her mind when she needed, and listened. He had to let her go.
“I know you’ve been thinking about this since I told you what I did to Randa and Matteo.” He laced his fingers with hers, then brought her hand to his lips. “You deserve so much better than me.”
“Thinking about it and doing it are two different things.”
“I know you’ve been here every night with me, and I truly appreciate it. Your support has meant the world to me, but go home. Go back to work.”
She dashed at the tears sliding down her cheeks. “You have no one here to help you. No one when you get home.”
“Maybe that’s what I need right now.”
“I love you, Linc.” She shook her head. “I can’t. It’s not right.”
“No, but it’s for the best.” He kissed her hand. “The hospital staff will take care of me, and I’ll call you when they release me.” He thought telling Jacqui to leave would be harder. While it was difficult and hurt his heart, not having Randa at his side cut deeper. “I’ll be okay.”
“Well, I’m not considering this a breakup. We’re just on hold until you get things worked out with your life.” She leaned over, kissed him, and then gathered her belongings. “You better call me, or I’ll come by your house and kick your butt. Feeble or not.”
He chuckled. “I expect nothing less.”
With one last lo
ok over her shoulder, she left the room. Lincoln settled in the pillows and closed his eyes. Never had he felt more alone or uncertain than he did in that moment. Sure, Jacqui would be waiting for him when he called her and was ready to resume their relationship, but it was Randa he craved. When he was strong enough, someway he would regain Randa’s trust. Even if he never received her love, he at least had to try and re-earn her respect.
Epilogue
Five months later
“He’s stopped by every day for the last two weeks,” Matteo said.
“He’s only here to see Melodee,” Randa countered. She rubbed her very pregnant belly, shifted on the sofa for the umpteenth time, trying to find a more comfortable position.
Melodee glanced over her shoulder from her spot on the living room floor. She lay on her stomach, her bare feet swinging in the air as she went back to her coloring. Randa allowed a contented smile to curve her lips. She couldn’t imagine her life without that sweet little girl, and now Melodee would have a baby brother to play with.
What she wouldn’t give to be outside in the sunshine, pushing Melodee on the swing or teaching her how to ride a bike. Randa gazed wistfully toward the window. Bright sunshine poured in through the open blinds. Birds serenaded the day, while the faint scent of fresh-cut grass and wildflowers blew in the gentle breeze. The one time she did go outside, she tried to walk to the pool house to see Lincoln.
Except for passing out, a brief stint in the emergency room, and Matteo scolding her for three days, her life had been pretty quiet. No more threats or people trying to kill her. For that she was grateful. Her only desire had been to see Lincoln. Foolish, yes, but she missed her husband.
“Those are not for Melodee.” Matteo swept a hand toward several vases of flowers around the room in various stages of wilting. The newest bouquet sat on the coffee table to his left.
Randa smiled, secretly pleased with the attention Lincoln was sending her way. Not just the flowers, but the little notes and cards that reminded her that he was thinking of her. That he missed her, loved her, and wanted to be with her.
All those things reminded her of him throwing rocks at her window all those months ago, but she still wasn’t sure she wanted him back on a full-time basis. She twisted the rings on her finger. The weight of her wedding rings was comforting, and since then, Matteo had added his—his pledge to her that he was in the relationship for the long haul. She fingered the braided white gold. He wore a similar one.
Sex, Lies, and Joysticks Page 14