by Joss Wood
Good. She needed the here and now, and didn’t need to remember the there and then.
Cady pulled her tablet from her bag and put it on her lap. As she consulted her notes she forced her attention off Beck’s wide chest and muscular arms and onto her job. Occasionally she looked out the window but she didn’t see the traffic and pedestrians below; she saw magnificent gems, Ballantyne gems, and told him how she intended to reintroduce them to the world.
Cady told Beck about her market research and the results of her brand audit. She touched on the company’s weak spots and pointed out areas for innovation and growth. When she finished her report, she tossed out a seemingly random question.
“Of all the pieces of jewelry you’ve seen pass Ballantyne’s, what is your favorite?”
“Wow, change of subject.” Beck rubbed his jaw. “I have no idea. I’ve seen so many valuable stones and exquisite works of jewelry art that it’s a hard question to answer.”
“What piece of jewelry did you feel most connected to? What makes your heart beat faster?”
“Why are you asking this?”
“Bear with me.”
Beck shifted in his chair, looking a little on edge. “Real or imagined? Or lost?”
“Anything. Don’t qualify your response. I want your gut reaction.”
Beck shifted in his chair and she thought she saw a touch of sadness pass through his eyes. “My mom’s engagement ring. It was a magnificent, five carat red beryl stone. Fantastically rare.”
Cady saw the pain flash in his eyes and wanted to reach out to him, wanted to offer comfort, but she didn’t dare. She maintained her professional demeanor. “Okay, that’s your special stone. The Kashmir sapphire Jaeger gave to Piper in her engagement ring is his. Linc, apparently, loves Alexandrite because the stones can be different colors under different light. And Sage has an affinity for red diamonds.”
“Because they are so damn rare. And incredibly beautiful,” Beck said. “Where are you going with this, Cady?”
“I want to do a series of print ads around each Ballantyne and the gems you love. I would suggest we start with Jaeger and Piper, and ride the wave of interest around their engagement. I want to get those ads out in time for Valentine’s Day.”
“That’s less than a month away.”
She was aware of that. She was also aware that pulling this off would require long days and longer nights. “In addition to Piper’s ring, Linc has, according to Amy, a magnificent Alexandrite ring he inherited from Connor Ballantyne, and then there’s the one I can’t wait to see—a red diamond, platinum and diamond flower ring that’s in your uncle’s private collection that Sage loves.”
Cady tapped her finger against her tablet and brought up the mock-up she’d put together. “I’d feature each of you in an ad—relaxed and accessible, white shirt, blue jeans, bare feet—and holding your priceless jewelry. The public will have to go online to read up on why that piece in particular speaks to you. We’ll advertise Sage’s new, modern designs on those pages, as well. And when the ads launch, I want to do a function to exhibit those jewels and others in the Ballantyne collection.”
“That’s not possible,” Beck said through gritted teeth.
“Why not?” Cady demanded.
“First, those gems are worth a freaking king’s ransom and they’d need extraordinary security measures if they’re going to be shown to the public.”
“Not the public. Only rich, hip, hot, young celebs will see the exhibition,” Cady told him, enjoying herself. “And I’ve already contacted a company specializing in jewelry exhibitions. They haven’t lost a gem yet. Speaking of, where’s your mom’s ring?”
Beck didn’t crack a smile. “Somewhere on that mountain where they crashed.”
She heard the pain in his voice and again Cady wanted to wrap her arms around him. Such pain. There was nothing to say so she sent him a sympathetic smile. But that meant she’d have to find another piece of jewelry to connect to Beck. “I’m sorry, Beck. Is there another piece we can use that you feel strongly about?”
Beck linked his hands around the back of his head. “I like the idea, the connection between old and new. Could we use a paste copy of my mom’s ring?”
“You have one of those?”
“Every time an important piece comes through here, a copy—and an excellent imitation—is made for our records.”
“We’d have to explain that it’s the copy, but it’ll work. Great.” Energized by his reception of her ideas, Cady stood up. Her mind was reeling with plans as she walked to the window, resting her palm on the thick glass as she envisioned the exhibit. Then she sent him an uncertain look. “It might dredge up some memories for you and your siblings.”
“The memories are always there, so there’s nothing to dredge up,” Beck said as he walked toward her. When he stood in front of her, he ran his hand over her hip and skimmed his knuckles across her abdomen. “Animation and excitement suits you, Cades.”
Cady saw the heat in his eyes and she shook her head. “Don’t do this, Beck.”
“I want you.”
“It’s not a good idea,” Cady told him, sucking in a deep breath as his knuckles skimmed the underside of her suddenly sensitive breasts.
Beck placed his palms on the glass, bracketing her head. He looked down at her, desire on his face and, Cady ascertained with a quick glance down, in his pants.
“Beck...please.”
“What are you asking me to do, Cady? Kiss you? Touch you? Let you go? You’re going to have to be more specific.”
Damn, what did she want? Him, same as always. She shouldn’t, Cady thought, but she lifted her hand and brushed her fingers against his rough jaw. She didn’t want to say the words. If she did, she couldn’t take them back, couldn’t rewind. Couldn’t blame him for taking the decision out of her hands.
He was leaving the decision to kiss him up to her. If she asked him to let her go, he would. Conversely, if she asked him to kiss her, touch her, taste her, he’d rock her world. So much time had passed, so much had happened, but she was still inexplicably drawn to him. Cady knew it was smarter to walk away, but how could she ignore the flash of masculine appreciation in his eyes, the catch in his breath when they touched? When it came to Beck she’d never been smart and nothing, it seemed, had changed.
They’d always had the ability to spark off each other and she knew that if he kissed her, they’d both go up in flames. They were that volatile.
God, she wanted to burn under his touch.
“Ask me to kiss you, Cady.” Beck clasped her face in his hands, his thumbs rubbing the arch of her cheekbones.
Cady meant to push him away, but instead her hands ran from his wrists to his biceps, enjoying the power in his muscles. “Kiss me, Beck. Properly, intensely, like you mean it.”
His eyes flashed and when she touched her bottom lip with the tip of her tongue, he swooped down. Beck slanted his lips over hers, and time and space and thought rolled away as she lost herself in his arms. Or had she found herself?
Her fingers curled into his hair and she pushed her breasts against his chest. Beck was more powerful now than he’d been at twenty-three. Cady could feel it in the arms wound around her butt and back, in the hands pulling her into him. His mouth was sweeter and hotter than she remembered, his body bigger and harder, and her response more fervent and insistent. How was she going to step away, to get back to business when her heart and mind and body demanded more?
Beck groaned, jerked his mouth off hers and rested his forehead on the top of her head. “I wasn’t going to do this. I really wasn’t.”
Cady pushed her hands against his chest to put some distance between them and when his hands fell from her body, she took another step back. “Me neither. We can’t go back, Beck. Not to that.”
Beck sho
ved a hand into his hair and looked irritated. “You talk as if we have a choice.”
“We’re adults, Beck. We always have a choice.” All her mistakes up to this point had been because she’d made some stupid choices and she couldn’t take any more chances. She felt like a cat on number eight of her nine lives.
“I cannot, I will not, jeopardize this job and my relationship with Ballantyne International because we have something bubbling between us.”
“Those are two totally separate issues.”
She’d lost Tom’s business because she’d slept with him, because she was stupid enough to think that she could mix business and pleasure.
“That’s what you men always say until pleasure and business collide and someone—usually the woman and the one needing the business—gets screwed.” Cady winced at the bitterness in her tone.
Beck gripped her chin and forced her to look up into his hard, unyielding face. “Don’t judge me by someone else’s yardstick, Cady. I’m my own man and if I say that what happens between us physically won’t impact on business, then you can believe it.”
Yeah, she didn’t think so. She’d learned that lesson and learned it well. “It’s better not to start anything that might blow up in our faces.” Cady pushed her hair off her forehead and placed her hands on her hips. “I need to get back to work. I also need to convince Jaeger and Linc that these ads will work. They really don’t want to get in front of a camera.”
“I’m not fond of the idea myself,” Beck replied. “But I can see why it will work. It’s a good concept. Come to dinner at The Den on Sunday night and we can all discuss it then.”
Dinner at The Den, the family brownstone, was a Ballantyne tradition. She remembered him telling her that it was a time for the family to reconnect, to wind down, to talk. Her presence there would be an intrusion; Beck could talk his brothers into doing the shoot, he didn’t need her.
Besides, being around the Ballantynes as a group reminded her of the family she’d always wanted but knew she’d never have. The kind of family she wanted for her baby.
“I don’t think so.”
Beck sent her a long look and Cady struggled to keep her face blank. When he turned those piercing, smart and questioning eyes on her, she wanted to hurl her deepest fears and most secret desires at his feet. Not a good idea, Cady told herself.
She knew from past experience that she was the only one who could, and should, shoulder her baggage.
Cady injected starch into her spine and picked up her mind map. “You said that there are paste copies of all the important pieces. Can I look at them, including the one of your mom’s engagement ring?”
Beck gave her a sharp nod. “Ask Amy to get them for you on the way out. The copy of the red beryl ring is in my safe at home.” He glanced at his watch. “I have a business lunch at Sam’s but I can stop at my apartment before I go to lunch. I’ll be done by two-thirty. If you can meet me at Sam’s then I can give it to you.”
Sam’s was only the finest restaurant in New York City. A haunt for the rich and famous, where a booking had to be made six to eight months in advance. And this was where Beck conducted business lunches? She was so out of his league.
“Sam’s at two-thirty. I’ll see you there.”
Six
After a punishing routine followed by a half hour swim in the private gym in the basement of his apartment building, Beck let himself into his apartment and toed off his trainers at the front door. Dumping his gym bag next to the hall table, he walked across the expansive loft to his gourmet kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. After gulping it down, he looked out the tinted windows at the incredible view of the city skyline.
He had another crazy day ahead of him trying to keep on top of both his and Linc’s work. Linc, thanks to the arrival of Tate and baby Ellie—Kari, Linc’s ex, had dumped her baby girl on Tate and done another runner—was running himself ragged, so Beck was picking up the slack. In between running a billion-dollar corporation with offices all over the world, he was also trying to make sense of Cady’s dropping back into his life.
He was still insanely attracted to her. And he didn’t like feeling this off balance, like he was trying to navigate the rapids of a treacherous river in a leaky bucket. He wasn’t used to feeling so out of control, so unsure. The women he dated—okay, slept with—were smart, gorgeous and, well, forgettable. There was only one woman he’d never been able to forget. Who, like a burrowing bug, had crawled into his brain and stayed there.
And she was back.
Cady.
Back then and now, Cady made him want something more than the life he had. Oh, his life was good, he knew that—he was strong, smart, wealthy and successful—but Cady made him want more. Friendship, companionship, having someone to come home to at the end of the day. Someone to fill this empty space with laughter, conversation, music. Someone who made him want to slow down, to chill.
Sex on tap would be great, too.
But a relationship like that wasn’t in the cards for him. His parents had a fantastic marriage; they’d been crazy in love with each other, like Jaeger and Piper. Beck hoped that Sage and Linc found the person they could be that happy with. But he didn’t deserve that sort of happiness himself.
Intellectually, he knew that he was being hard on himself and that his request for his parents’ type of love was normal, even expected. But his neediness had such massive consequences and that was what he couldn’t wrap his head around. That was where he stalled. If he started to need someone again, what would the consequences be? If he fell in love and that person was hurt or, God forbid, killed, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. He’d survived his parents’ deaths by keeping busy, and he’d earned his place in his family by being smart, hardworking and responsible.
Falling in love, exposing his heart, was irresponsible. And it was simply not happening. So he needed to stay away from Cady. He needed to keep a physical and, most important, an emotional distance from her.
Beck drained the last of the water and tapped the rim against a pane of wet glass. Maybe he’d escape New York, Cady and this cold weather by visiting the Hong Kong and Tokyo branches of Ballantyne’s. Both managers had issues that he needed to resolve.
He could take a week, get his head on straight, and maybe even do a surprise visit to the Dubai store on his way back. Or the LA store if they flew in the other direction. Either way, it would put thousands of miles between him and Cady.
Beck heard the chime that informed him that someone was leaning on his buzzer and he frowned. His brothers and sisters had the code to open the front door but none of them would be at his door at six forty-five in the morning. Jaeger would be snuggled up to Piper, Sage needed a bomb to get her out of bed in the mornings and Linc was out of town.
Beckett walked to his front door and pushed the intercom button. “Yeah?”
“Beck, it’s me, Cady. We have a problem.”
Judging by Cady’s stressed-out tone, he knew it was a big one. Beck released the lock on the front door and told her to come on up.
Cady at the crack of dawn. Yeah, this had to be a big-ass problem.
* * *
When Cady stepped out of the elevator and saw Beck standing in his doorway she had one thought. Someone dressed in an old, sweat-stained T-shirt, athletic shorts and worn trainers had no right to look like he stepped off the cover of a men’s health and exercise magazine. The old jeans and college sweatshirt she wore under her thigh-length coat didn’t look half as good on her as ratty clothes looked on him. She wore no makeup, had pulled her hair up into a lopsided ponytail and had just remembered to brush her teeth.
That was what happened when you found out, online, that you were engaged to one of the most eligible bachelors in the city.
Beck stepped back and gestured for her to come into his apartment
, so Cady did. He hung her coat up on a metal coat stand that looked like it cost more than the small car she wanted but couldn’t afford. Cady jammed her hands into the pockets of her sweatshirt and looked around his loft conversion. She liked the large windows and the exposed red brick walls. The laminated floors were stylish and contemporary as were the oversize, minimalistic, L-shaped, oatmeal-colored couch and the armless leather chairs. The large ornamental lemon tree in the corner needed water.
It was stylish and it was rich, but it didn’t have much soul, Cady decided. Apart from a large photograph of Connor and the four Ballantyne siblings, there was little in this apartment that told Cady who lived here. A large wooden door led to what she thought might be a second bedroom, and a steel, spiral staircase led to the suspended master bedroom.
Yeah, rich. Contemporary. She preferred her colorful rabbit hutch in Brooklyn.
Beck stepped into the kitchen area and took a mug from a cupboard above his coffee machine and held it up. “Coffee?”
Eeew, no. Morning sickness had her stomach churning and she was a hairsbreadth away from tossing her cookies. Coffee would send her right over the edge.
“I don’t suppose you have any tea? Something with ginger in it?” Cady asked, knowing that her chances weren’t good.
Beck opened a narrow cupboard and she saw a large range of herbal teas. “You drink tea?” she asked, incredulous, as he pulled a tea bag from a yellow box.
“I spent enough time in the Far East, I should,” Beck said, turning on the luxury coffee machine to make hot water.
It was the first time he’d mentioned traveling and she wondered if he’d ever thought of the time they’d spent together. He probably remembered being frustrated because she was always checking her phone, always crying after speaking to her parents.
Maturity and hindsight made her admit that she hadn’t been the best traveling partner, and Beck had been incredibly patient.