by J. S. Scott
With a weary sigh, he took another look at her. Her breathing was good. He just needed to get her warm as quickly as possible.
She could yell at him when she was conscious again—because he was about to get them both naked, without her permission. He got himself undressed first and then made quick work of her clothing, with only the fleeting thought that this was far different than the first time he’d tackled the task. It made his heart ache with regret and frustration. Though she did stir a bit, she only mumbled a handful of words before going quiet once more.
The sofa was pretty wide and could accommodate both of them, especially since they’d be pressed together to try to warm her. He slipped in behind her so she’d still get the heat from the fire, and then tried his best to cover as much of her as possible with his own body.
Bloody hell, she was cold. Damn cold. He suppressed a shiver and held her to him, while trying to reconcile the events that led up to their current predicament. He knew it’d been because he was an ass, and his actions had harmed another, yet again.
It was why he lived alone and seldom dealt with people. So he could rage and hate himself without subjecting others to it. Without putting others in harm’s way. Once again, he should have paid closer attention, been more considerate, seen the signs. Yet he was too selfish, too absorbed in his own problems to see what was happening around him.
He wondered if he’d ever learn. Clearly not, if Chloe was any indication.
He’d just have to try to make it up to her. Because, truth be told, Chloe had actually made him feel more human—more like the person he’d been before Hannah’s accident. She’d made him smile, made him laugh, and even made him forget his demons, if for a short while.
He felt a small spark of hope ignite in his heart, so precious and delicate that it’d take very little to snuff it out of existence if he wasn’t careful. The darkness within told him he didn’t deserve hope or happiness—not when Hannah was in her grave, and their unborn child never got to take its first breath. Even Chloe had ended up in danger after a mere day in his presence. Yet, his night with Chloe—and nearly losing her—reminded him of what it felt like to be alive.
He may not deserve happiness, but he was damn near exhausted of hating life and himself.
Having drifted off into a light slumber, Aidan awoke when Chloe started to stir in his arms. Her eyes flickered open, and though she took a minute to focus her gaze, her eyes seemed clear, though still heavy with sleep.
“Hey…” A lazy smile slipped onto her lips as she slowly closed her eyes again, nestling lower in his embrace, everything about her moving at a languid pace.
He wanted to shake her awake, just so he could make sure that she was fine and hadn’t suffered any ill effects. But with relief washing over him, he instead kissed the top of her head and tightened his hold on her, debating whether or not he’d ever let her go.
The thought caught him off guard. Normally he’d balk at such a thing, but this time around, he found himself remarkably at ease with the idea.
“You really had me scared there, Chloe.” He was even taken aback by his admission to her. “You were so cold…I can’t bear to think of what might have happened if I hadn’t found you when I did.”
Given how much he’d tossed and turned early on in the night, he could have easily slept for several more hours by the time he did finally fall into a deep sleep. He didn’t want to think of the condition he’d have found her in if he’d awoken much later than he had.
When she shifted again to get comfortable, his body became acutely aware of her lush curves and how they molded to his body, not to mention the tiny detail of them both being naked. Wanting her had never come into the equation when he’d been so worried about her. But now that she seemed to be doing fine, his need for her seemed to overrule his other sensibilities.
And she must have noticed.
She lifted her head off his shoulder and looked up at him with a curious look he couldn’t quite pinpoint. “We’re naked.” It was as if she’d just realized it.
“Indeed we are—though before you get upset with me, I only did it to try to get you warm. Skin on skin, and all that…” He groaned, sounding like an idiot.
She let out a sigh. “Well, if that’s the only reason, then it’s a damn shame.”
He pulled back as if he’d misunderstood, thought about asking her to repeat herself, and then let it go with a laugh. Forward indeed. “You need to regain your strength. And what sort of jerk would I be if I took advantage of you when you were barely conscious?”
She kissed the hollow of his neck just above his collarbone, her lips soft and warm, and sending a spike of need through to his core. “I’m conscious now.”
“And you still need to rest and try to stay warm.” He should cook them breakfast, too—even if it was already past lunch time. She could probably do with a refuel after her body had expended so much energy to keep her from freezing.
Her hips shifted against his hard cock, reminding him of how much time he had to make up for. “Sweetheart…I’m trying to be good, but you’re not making it easy on me.”
She nudged him until he shifted onto his back, and then slipped a leg around his waist so she could lie down on top of him. “See…you’re keeping me warm just fine.”
With his cock trapped between the two of them and her slick heat pressed up against his hard length, he couldn’t help but run his hands down her back to grip her ass. “What I see is that your ass cheeks are like blocks of ice.”
“Then maybe you should heat them up for me. Or…you could go in search of something warmer.” She shifted her body up and down his entire length until he lost nearly all semblance of control. “Then again, there’s also something to be said about friction, since it seems to do a pretty damn good job, too.”
“Chloe…you’re killing me here.” Here he was trying to do the caring and chivalrous thing of not attacking her before she was fully recovered, and she was making it nearly impossible for him to say no.
“May I?” Her words danced over his skin as she nuzzled him and kissed his neck. She may not have been terribly specific, but he knew exactly what she was asking by the way her body shifted against his with her slick heat slipping along his length.
The fact that she was asking for permission when she could so easily just take him, nearly did him in. When he spoke, his voice was thick with need. “What is it you want, love? Tell me.”
She let out a small moan in protest, but didn’t elaborate further or answer his question. He knew it wasn’t always easy to verbalize such things or own up to one’s needs and desires. Yet speaking the words out loud, especially to another person, meant claiming that part of yourself, and that could be empowering. “I’m still waiting for an answer, sweetheart. Come on…you can tell me. You know I’ll happily oblige you.”
Another moan of protest, and this time she punctuated it by biting his neck and tilting her hips against him to increase the friction between them. “But you know what I want.”
“And you know that I want to hear you say it. Now, sweetheart. Before I insist that you give me every detail, all while looking me in the eyes.” Though he couldn’t see her face since she’d buried it at his neck, he knew her cheeks must be blushing furiously. He supposed that was one way to warm her up.
She looked up at him with a glare, and the humor in her voice made him smile. “You’re a real pain in the ass. You know that, right?”
“That can be arranged too, if it’s what you want.” When she playfully swatted at him, he couldn’t help but laugh—and damn if it didn’t feel good. “Well? I’m still waiting.”
He kissed her cheek, her jawline, her neck, loving how she arched up to give him easy access, as if offering herself to him, to do as he wished. A needy little moan escaped her, though it was laced with frustration. “Fine. Fine. I want you…your cock…in me.”
“Is that all?” His kisses wandered down her neck to the slope of her shoulder, as his hands went to her hips and, with a small lift, seated her onto his hard length. Her exhale was so full of satisfaction and contentment, he couldn’t help but laugh. “Better?”
“Yes…sooo much better.” She rolled her hips along his shaft as he sat up and caught her nipple, first one and then the other, sucking and nipping as her movements quickened.
He picked up his pace, thrusting up from under her, even as he pulled the blankets up over her shoulders. He was still worried about her getting chilled, and wasn’t convinced their current activities wouldn’t set her recovery back. Not that he could stop now, even if he wanted to.
She was so tight, so slick—so fucking gorgeous—it left his head spinning and had him wondering if he’d ever get his fill of her. It seemed she’d walked right into his life and, like a whirlwind, turned everything he knew on its head. The thought that the storm would eventually blow over and she’d soon be leaving left him wondering if he might be able to convince her to come back for a visit. Or maybe he should ask her to stay…
He kissed her, letting his tongue play over hers, as he took all she had to offer. He didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to hold out, and he knew with the pace they were setting and with the eager whimpers she couldn’t quite contain, she wasn’t going to last long either.
She grew tight around him as he gripped her hips in his tight grasp, their pace growing frenzied. “Come for me. Now, love.”
And she did—her body shuddering against him as she cried out and he joined her in his release, his cock pumping into her until he was spent and there was nothing but the two of them, the rest of the world falling away.
Chloe tried not to get defensive as Aidan questioned her about trying to leave the night before. He was still holding her close, which certainly helped matters, but she really didn’t want to explain to him the reason why it was so important that she get the chance to spend the holidays with her family. Not that she’d be going anywhere with the storm still raging.
“I didn’t want to be in your way. I know you’re not used to company—Finn said you liked your privacy. And then we’d argued, and you were looking so miserable…I just figured I’d grab the desk and go. I’d spend the night at the B&B, and then see if I could get off the island. Maybe speak to the police about opening the bridge.” She snuggled deeper into his embrace, her head propped against his chest.
“Firstly, they don’t open that bridge for anyone, unless it’s an actual emergency—and I’m talking medical, life-or-death stuff. But even if you made it off the island, the roads are still dangerous, Chloe.” He shook his head, but there was also a tension and annoyance in him that she hadn’t expected. “I get that you want to spend the holidays with your family, but for fuck’s sake, you need to keep yourself safe, first and foremost.”
“Yeah, I know…” And she did. Sort of. If it was anything else, she’d have no problem canceling her plans, but the fact that she’d be disappointing her father—yet again—left her frustrated and miserable. She shouldn’t care. She was always going out of her way to take care of her family, and yet it never quite seemed enough. “It’s just one of those family things. My father…”
“The one the desk’s for…” He sat up just enough to look at her, though the intensity of his gaze had her pulling away. “Seems like you’re really going out of your way for him.”
“It’s complicated.” She distracted herself with the blanket, running her fingers along the lines of the plaid, trying to avoid looking at him while she spoke. “My mom’s gone, so he’s alone and…I’m the oldest. My two brothers were really young at the time and my dad needed help.”
“So you essentially stepped into the role of your mother to help raise them.” He ran a gentle hand down her back, and then pulled her in close. “How old were you when she passed?”
“Fourteen.” Far too young to deal with losing a parent, and yet those were the cards fate had dealt her, and there was no giving them back.
“I can’t imagine taking on such responsibility at that age.” He let out a ragged sigh and held her to him as she tried to push away the memories. “I can see why you’ve been wanting to get home, but you know he’ll be understanding. Especially when it’s out of your control.”
“What he’ll be is disappointed—again.” The moment the words were out of her mouth, she regretted speaking them out loud. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
She tried to pull away, wanting nothing more than to escape to her room and bury herself under the blankets, because she knew Aidan wasn’t going to let this go. She’d do anything to end this discussion, and as if sensing she might bolt, he tightened his hold.
“Wait…what do you mean, he’ll be disappointed?” He looked at her as if he couldn’t quite grasp the concept. “You can’t really mean that. Are you sure you’re not just reading into it?”
She took it as an out, even if she knew it wasn’t the truth. “I’m sure I am.” She managed a smile, though she knew she was a horrible liar.
“You really do think he’s disappointed in you…” His eyes narrowed in disbelief and with a simmering anger. “I just don’t understand how that could happen. Did something happen?”
She shrugged. “I was selfish—I put myself first when it came to college. I could have gone to a local community school, but instead I went out to the Berkshires and that meant leaving them behind to fend for themselves.”
“And by fend for themselves, you mean an adult man and two teenage boys would have to make do without you to take care of them.” His brows were raised, his jaw was tight, and he was not happy.
“It wasn’t just for school. It was work, too…I left for Boston. Got a job straight out of college. But I send them money. I go and visit. I try.” She cupped his cheek and kissed him, hoping it’d ease the tension that was pouring off him in waves. He had his own problems to deal with and she didn’t need to add to them.
“Sounds to me like you not only try, but do more than your share. Not that he sees it. Am I right?” He slowly shook his head, his hazel eyes burning with anger. “And you’ve likely been bending over backwards so he won’t be disappointed.”
“It doesn’t matter, Aidan. Honestly.” She just had to live her life—her life, not the one her father wanted for her. “I’m an adult and I make my own decisions. I’m okay with that.”
He cupped the back of her neck and pulled her close, kissing her head. “Of course you are, love. I just hate to see you killing yourself so as not to disappoint him, when it sounds to me like it doesn’t matter what you do.”
“If I moved back home…” Not that she would.
“Do you really think that would make him happy? Or would he just move on to the next thing on his list? Something new to be disappointed in. Because people like that aren’t ever happy, love.” He cupped her face in his hands and held her gaze. “And you deserve so much better than that.”
She gave him a shrug and let him hold her in his strong arms. “Unfortunately, we don’t always get what we deserve.”
Chloe leaned back against Aidan as they sat in front of the fire. Though she was no longer feeling the effects of nearly freezing her butt off, Aidan had insisted she stay put, even as he got them leftover chili for dinner and made her fireplace s’mores for dessert.
“Thanks for all this…you’ve been really sweet to me.” And he had been, even though his mood had grown sullen as the day trickled into the evening.
“It’s the least I can do after being such a jerk last night.” He ran a finger down her cheek and then settled back against the sofa with a sigh.
“You weren’t the only one at fault. I read too much into it, Aidan. I think I was being overly sensitive because of my own problems.” She linked her hand with his, wanting some sort of connection between them, sinc
e it felt like he was drifting further and further away with each passing moment. “Aidan…I hope you know that I’m here for you if you want to talk. I don’t know what sort of demons you’re struggling with, but…”
“My demons are my own to deal with, Chloe. There’s nothing anyone can do to fix my problems.” As if punctuating his hurt and anger, the winds howled away as branches beat against the house. “You can’t fix this—and you can’t fix me. Are we clear?”
“Yeah…crystal.” She told herself not to let it bother her. He was upset, and it wasn’t because of her or anything she’d done, but rather because of things that were outside of their control. And yet it hurt that he was pushing her away.
Part of her felt foolish for thinking that he might open up to her after she’d told him about her family and their problems. She knew better. And yet she was quickly realizing that the reason she’d expected him to let her in on his troubles was because she was reading far more into whatever it was that they were doing. She had stupidly started to fall for him, when he was not emotionally available.
He cursed under his breath. “I know I’m being an asshole, Chloe. But it’s who I am—and you deserve better than that, even if you only have to put up with me for a few days. I just can’t be anything else. And for that, I’m sorry.”
“You’re not an asshole. I just stupidly thought…” When her eyes started to sting, she was thankful that they didn’t have many lights on as they sat by the fire.
“You thought what? That this would turn into some happily ever after?” He scoffed and shook his head. Though his words stung, she could hear the hurt in his voice. “Well, it’s not going to happen. I live in a nightmare—not some goddamned fairytale. And the last thing I’m going to do is drag you down with me.”
“So it’s perfectly fine for us to discuss my issues and problems, but your issues are off-limits. Instead, I get to just sit idly by and watch your mood sour with each passing minute, so I’m left thinking I’d rather brave a blizzard than stay here and feel miserable.” And she would, because the longer she stayed here, the more unbearable it got. She couldn’t bear to see him hurting. It was killing her.