by Hart, Renee
Ravensong took up his usual seat in the corner of the yard. He rarely came inside the cabin on any of his visits, preferring to sit outside. Devin hurried to sit near him. Leaving the door open, Graham stepped outside also. The cabin felt crowded with Ashley inside. He could hear Lacey chattering as she gave Ashley the ‘nickel’ tour. The two of them stepped back into the yard and the dogs gathered around for their share of the attention as Lacey introduced them. The three males watched from the safety of their corners.
Addressing Graham, Ashley pulled a thick stack of workbooks from her backpack.
“I found some additional workbooks that I thought you might like to have for the children,” she said. “The lessons are based on popular storybook characters.”
She held them out to Graham. He took them awkwardly and stood there not knowing what to say.
“Have you had a chance to look at any of the stuff I gave you last week?” she asked, apparently unfazed by his lack of speech so far.
“Uh, no,” he stammered. “I’ve been cutting firewood.”
“Can I see what you brought?” Lacey asked holding out her hand for the books.
Graham handed them to his daughter and the two of them watched as Lacey sat down on her stump and sorted through the pile. As she read the titles of each workbook, Graham was amazed at her ability.
“You can read?” he asked in surprise.
“Of course. Everyone at Miss Mary’s school can read,” she quipped.
“Cannot!”
Everyone turned to look at Devin’s angry face. He flushed and turned away.
Ashley went over and knelt down in front of him.
“What are you saying Devin?” she asked gently.
“Nothing,” he said and turned further away from her.
She looked to Graham, but he had no idea what his son was referring to either. The children hadn’t come with any books and until they’d run into Ashley, there weren’t any children’s books in the cabin. Graham hadn’t thought about it until just this moment. He’d heard Devin tell Lacey stories every night. He’d never thought about where he’d learned the stories.
Ashley moved back to Lacey’s side and pulled a small reader from the stack.
“Would you like me to read you a story?” she said as she sat down on a nearby stump.
Lacey bobbed her head up and down wildly. Graham moved to his woodpile and picked up his maul. He didn’t know what else to do. Ravensong kept his seat as he whittled on a piece of wood while Devin watched him carefully.
Ashley read the short story in a voice just loud enough to draw Devin’s attention. At first, he struggled to listen from his perch, but his father’s work added just enough noise to make him miss key words. From the corner of her eye, Ashley watched him find ways to slip closer. By the end of the story, he was standing at her shoulder watching as she turned each page.
“Would you like to take a turn?” she asked him quietly.
He backed away.
“I would,” Lacey chirped brightly.
Ashley handed her the book and pointed out her stopping place.
The little girl continued on without a flaw as the two of them listened. When she got to the end of the story, she closed it with a happy sigh.
“That was a good story,” she said.
“Would you like to read for me?” Ashley asked Devin again.
“Devin can’t read,” Lacey said. “He doesn’t like reading. It makes him angry.”
“That’s not true,” Devin shouted as he ran over and pushed Lacey off her stump.
She fell to the ground in surprise and started to cry. Ashley was too shocked to move as Devin ran behind the cabin. Graham dropped his maul and ran over to check his daughter. Finding her unhurt, he followed his son’s path to get this sorted out. He’d never seen the boy do anything to harm his sister before. If anything, he was extra careful around the little girl and always watched over her.
Finding the boy crouched down next to a log pile, Devin cowered at the sight of his father’s approach. His eyes were filled with tears.
Graham walked over and sat down on the ground next to his son.
“Devin, I’m not going to hurt you,” he said gently, “but you know I can’t let you hurt your sister. That’s not okay.”
The boy was silent.
“I really need for you to tell me what’s going on,” Graham continued. “I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong.”
Devin just shook his head.
Ashley came around the corner of the cabin holding Lacey’s hand. The little girl was chattering brightly as if nothing had happened. Devin watched their approach from the corner of his eye.
“I’m sorry, Devin,” Lacey said kneeling down in front of him. “I didn’t mean it. Will you come and play a game with us?”
Devin took his sister’s hand and got up. The two of them headed back towards the front of the cabin leaving Graham alone with Ashley.
“Do you have any idea of what the problem is?” she asked.
“No. I haven’t been a part of their lives for the last five years. He may have dis…dix… uh.”
“Dyslexia?”
“Yeah, that’s it. Runs in our family. I have it. My father had it. Devin may have it too.”
“Where did he start school?”
“I’m afraid I don’t know that either. His mother and I didn’t have any contact until she reached out from the grave and made me a father again.”
Ashley looked at him strangely, but he was beyond making any more explanations. He turned and followed after the children.
“Graham.”
He stopped but didn’t turn back to look at her.
“Graham. I can help him. This is what I’m trained to do,” Ashley said gently. “He doesn’t have to suffer like you did…”
Graham’s back stiffened as he fought against the urge to push her away. He’d been pushing this problem away his whole life. And look where that’s gotten me, he thought to himself, maybe I need to help Devin not to become a monster like me. Maybe it’s time to admit that I need help with this, with my children…
Turning back to look at Ashley’s face, he saw the compassion in her eyes. He nodded and quickly moved towards the front of the cabin. He could hear her following, but she didn’t speak anymore.
Before Ashley headed back to the village with Ravensong, she made a plan to come out and work with the children two days a week. When they came to the village for their weekly shopping trip, she’d set aside some time to work with them on her computer. It was only a small beginning, but somewhere deep in Graham’s heart he felt a glimmer of hope.
***
Ashley was true to her word and showed up early to spend time with the children. She ran several tests disguised as games to determine their learning skills. They’d play together until it was time for lunch and then Graham would come and join them. He’d join in with some of the simple word games, but Ashley always took the lead.
In the evenings, Lacey would play teacher, much to the guys’ amusement, and read them all a story. This was all done under the guise of helping Lacey with her homework to give Devin some much needed confidence and it seemed to be working.
After several weeks, the children looked forward to Ashley’s visits and she was spending far more than a few hours a week with them. Graham had to admit even he was always listening for the sound of her UTV as he went about his chores. The firewood cache was growing a lot slower than it needed to be with winter coming, but he ignored it.
***
One afternoon they were enjoying a picnic with Ravensong near the river. The children were playing together while Ravensong sat off to one side watching them. Graham and Ashley took a walk down the bank. It was the first time the two of them were really focused on talking to each other without the children hanging around.
“Graham,” Ashley began, “you know I’ll be heading back to the lower ’48 soon.”
“What do you mean? I though
t you lived here in Alaska.”
“I was only here for a year to complete my internship. My work is done at the end of the summer. I’ll be leaving in September.”
Graham looked stricken as the thought of her leaving struck his heart like a knife. He reached out for her like a drowning man seeking a lifeline. She grabbed hold of his hands. Pulling her towards him, he buried his face in her shoulder as he tried to breath. His mind wrestled with the fear of losing her.
“Ashley, I don’t want you to go,” he groaned. “I…the children, we need you.”
She didn’t say anything as he held her tightly, but he could feel her trembling. Taking her silence as rejection, he let go of her and moved away.
“Graham, I have a different plan for my life. I love Alaska, but I don’t want to live out here in the bush. It’s not the kind of life I dreamed of for myself. This is too harsh and demanding. I can’t do it.”
Ashley’s voice trailed off as she saw Graham’s jaw clench in frustration. She knew her words hurt him, but not telling the truth would be even worse. She’d trained to be an educator and wanted a life and a career. Hiding away from the world wasn’t a part of her vision. He’d come here to escape from the world she wanted to embrace. What chance was there for the two of them to be together?
“I understand,” he said sadly. “You have a right to your own dreams.”
He turned to head back the way they came when he saw Devin and Lacey hiding in the bushes. They’d snuck along hoping to surprise the two grown-ups, but from the looks on their faces, they’d gotten enough of the conversation to be unhappily surprised on their own.
Ashley knelt down in front of them and reached out her arms. Lacey ran to her and started to cry, but Devin ran away. Graham hurried after him far enough to see him run to Ravensong. He stopped and stood on the trail looking back and forth at his daughter and his son wondering how he could help them when his own heart was tearing into pieces.
As they packed up the remains of the picnic and prepared to go home, Ravensong watched the four of them quietly. He knew they were running out of time, but he couldn’t interfere. It was up to them to make the right choices. Graham didn’t look up as they drove away.
***
For the next several days, Ashley didn’t come out to the cabin and Graham couldn’t make himself go into the village. The children had gone silent again, speaking only when necessary. Devin wouldn’t meet his eyes and stopped doing any of his schoolwork. Lacey made a big show of doing hers whenever she had Graham’s attention. Unfortunately, he was trapped in a place of indecision and lost in his own thoughts most of the time.
At night, Devin would talk to Lacey until she fell asleep. Graham was tempted to sit on the stairs so he could hear better what was being said, but feared causing further distrust in their relationship. He would lay awake long after the children were asleep wondering about their future.
When he’d made the choice to live out here in the bush, he was alone and thought he would always be alone. Having his children out here with him forced him to face up to the harsh realities of life in the wilderness. He was barely able to survive the winters on his own. How would the children survive the long winter days and the bitter cold? There were so many dangers that lurked just outside their clearing. Graham stopped himself from making a list of them.
Chapter 7
One morning, the children were arguing over their cereal and Graham couldn’t handle their bickering anymore. Jumping up from the table, he grabbed his chainsaw and headed for the door. He told them to stay near the front of the cabin as he needed to clear some more trees near the back. They didn’t say anything as he went outside.
He wanted to clear the trees farther back from the outhouse so he had a clear view of it from inside. These trees were larger than usual and he was running the chainsaw for long periods of time. He’d been at work for a couple of hours before he decided to take a break.
Walking around to the front of the cabin, he saw the dogs were still in their pen. This surprised him as the children usually let them out when they did their morning chores. He went into the cabin to see what they were doing. There was no one downstairs and no one answered his call.
Stepping back outside, he looked around the clearing. The UTV was usually parked on the far side of the cabin. It wasn’t there. He ran over to take a closer look and saw the trailer had been unhitched, but the UTV was gone. He listened carefully to see if he could hear the sound of it, but there was only silence punctuated with the chatter of birds.
He sat down on a stump and considered his next step. His first thought was that the children went to find Ashley. It would take him two hours to hike to the village and catch up to them. He knew Devin wouldn’t have been able to fill the gas tank and the UTV was nearly empty. There was a good chance they might be stalled somewhere between here and the village. In that case, he would catch up to them sooner.
Jumping up, he grabbed his pack and his rifle. Letting the dogs out of their pen, he headed off down the trail in search of his children. He didn’t want to think about what else might be out there hunting for them if they ended up on foot.
Graham was certain Devin and Lacey were headed to the village. The dogs started heading down the river trail when they came to it, but he whistled them back. He didn’t think they would go back to the river. He figured the dogs were following the scent from their last picnic.
He ran as long as he could and then he’d walk for a while to catch his breath. The dogs circled around him weaving back and forth across the trail ahead and behind him. Every once in a while, he’d stop and listen for the sound of the UTV, but there was only silence. Fear tried to take hold of his thoughts, but he stayed focused on the path.
Coming into sight of the village, his eyes searched along both sides of the widening path. There were really only two places for them to be, he figured as he ran along. The grocery store/community center was where they usually met Ashley, and Ravensong’s place at the other end of the village were their usual destinations. Beyond that was the road leading back to civilization, but he saw no reason for them to go that way.
He reached the village center and looked around for his UTV. Ravensong was on the porch talking to another man as Graham came into sight. The elder stared at his friend’s sudden appearance and realized something was terribly wrong. He was at Graham’s side in an instant.
“Are…Devin…and…Lacey…here?” Graham gasped out slowly.
“No. I haven’t seen or heard anyone come this way all morning,” Ravensong replied.
“Where’s Ashley?”
“She’s in the center, doing paperwork, I think.”
At that moment, Ashley came out on the porch and stood there staring at the two men.
“What’s wrong? Where are the children?” she called out to them.
“They’ve run away. We need to go and look for them,” Ravensong said as he hurried inside.
Graham walked over to the porch and sank down on the edge of it. His dogs came and flopped down on the ground around him. He pressed his hands over his face and tried to think how he could have missed them. He’d been so certain they’d gone to the village. They must have missed a turn or taken a different trail by mistake. It was so unlike Devin as the boy had an uncanny sense of directions and never needed to be told where to go.
He looked up as two UTV’s roared up and came to a stop in front of him.
“Let’s go!”
Ashley shouted at him from the back of Ravensong’s UTV. The two of them raced off down the trail as Graham climbed on the back of the other vehicle. His dogs ran along beside the machines as they hurried back towards the cabin.
As they reached each cross trail, they’d stop and Graham would urge the dogs to find Devin and Lacey. The dogs would run about sniffing the air and then continue heading back towards home. This continued until they got to the turn-off for the river where the dogs took the lead and headed that way.
When they
came to the river, the dogs started running along the bank, but Graham called them back. He wasn’t sure the dogs were on the trail of the children as they’d never gone any further down river. They got off the machines and searched the sandy bank for signs the UTV had gone in that direction. It didn’t take Ravensong long to find their tracks in the sand.
Racing along the bank, they didn’t have to go far before they found the abandoned UTV. The children weren’t anywhere in sight. Graham stared at their little footprints in the sand heading off along the riverbank. Surely, they couldn’t have gotten that far away, he thought to himself.
The dogs circled the UTV and continued running ahead of the others. Every time they turned a corner and disappeared from sight, Graham strained to hear the welcoming barks he knew would come when they found Devin and Lacey. There was no sounds from the dogs and when they reached a wide stream feeding into the river, the dogs were milling in a circle of confusion. The children’s tracks were lost in the mess of paw prints.
The stream looked too deep for the children to cross here. Settling the dogs, the four adults searched for footprints in a careful pattern. The area was very rocky and it took several passes before they found a print heading upstream into the woods. The trees came right down to the edges of the water so there was no room for the UTV’s.
“I think two of us should head upstream and see if we can find them,” Graham said. “The other two can wait here in case they come down on the other side and we miss them.”
“I’m going with you,” Ashley blurted out, much to Graham’s surprise.
Ravensong simply nodded.
Sending the dogs ahead, Graham grabbed his rifle and started working his way through the thick brush. It was slow going and the narrow path showed no signs of the children.
Suddenly Ashley cried out and pointed to the middle of the stream. Following her lead, Graham saw something white bobbing along in the water. He recognized Lacey’s doll. Thinking he could easily step into the water and retrieve it, he slipped down the bank and rushed into the shallows. Without warning, he quickly sank to his hips.