by Darrin Doyle
Her faith has deepened. Some days, it feels like she really is in harmony with her creator, like she has given herself, body and soul, to Jesus. She knows she must serve Him. She knows, in fact, that she is blessed with the chance to serve Him. He will forgive her sins. Even when she confesses that she deceived Grandma for so many years. Even when she confesses that her last words to Audrey, her words about Grandma’s change of heart, were a lie meant only to fester like an open sore. Jesus will forgive her when she confesses.
Other days, McKenna is certain God will never love her. Not until she changes. Not until she stops destroying the temple. Her teeth are sensitive, stripped. Her throat is hot agony. Dark green welts form on her thighs from the slightest stove bump. Her menstruations have stopped. She is officially not a woman. The nuns visit, pray with her, urge her to seek help. The ones McKenna grew up with—Sister Pee Vee, Sister Max, Sister Juliet—all of them are gone now, but fresh ones, young ones, some younger than McKenna, have taken their places.
If you won’t see a doctor, they say, at least change your lifestyle. The Dominicans, they say, are a good order. They are always looking for new sisters. Your silence, your reflectiveness, will be put to a divine purpose. This house is unhealthy, they say. It is killing you.
One morning, Sister Pauline comes by. Her knock is softer than usual.
“Annabelle went to be with God last night,” she says, taking McKenna’s hand. “She’s at rest.”
McKenna smiles. Swallows.
Table of Contents
Cover
Title
Copyright
Dedication
Acknowledgements
A Note from the Editor
Part One: Disappointing Children
Chapter 1.
Chapter 2.
Chapter 3.
Chapter 4.
Chapter 5.
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11.
Chapter 12.
Chapter 13.
Chapter 14
Chapter 15.
Chapter 16.
Chapter 17.
Chapter 18.
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21.
Chapter 22.
Chapter 23.
Chapter 24.
Chapter 25.
Chapter 26.
Chapter 27.
Chapter 28.
Chapter 29.
Chapter 30.
Chapter 31.
Part Two: Barking at Phantoms
Chapter 32
Chapter 33.
Chapter 34.
Chapter 35
Chapter 36.
Chapter 37.
Chapter 38.
Chapter 39.
Chapter 40.
Chapter 41.
Chapter 42.
Chapter 43.
Chapter 44.
Chapter 45.
Chapter 46.
Chapter 47.
Chapter 48.
Chapter 49.
Chapter 50.
Chapter 51.
Chapter 52.
Chapter 53.
Chapter 54.
Part Three
Chapter 55.
Chapter 56.
Chapter 57.
Chapter 58.
Chapter 59.
Chapter 60.
Chapter 61.
Chapter 62.