Lilah spent hours drilling each person on his or her position and part in case of attack, and we knew that the day was fast approaching when we would be attacked. We had a pitifully small hoard of ammunitions and guns but on the summits we piled rocks and small boulders of which there was a great abundance. It would be comparatively easy to harass and perhaps halt the enemy for a long time since the narrowness of the entryway with its many tortuous curves made it impossible to advance upon us other than single file. The high, sheer cliffs made as good a fortress as the strongest reinforced pillbox could possibly be, for if our rocks did not stop the enemy neither would he be able to reach us with his guns unless, of course, aircraft were used. But even they would be handicapped since we had found innumerable half-hidden hollows and caves beneath the rims of the walls where we could safely hide and there, sheltered by the still mountainous wall above and the sheer drop beneath, we could pick off the enemy almost with fantastic ease.
One or two such stations would not have made us feel so secure, but the whole wadi was honeycombed with such caves found there or carefully blasted and carved out with our own hands. A great army conceivably would not be stopped by one avalanche of rocks, but let that one be increased by dozens and even the greatest of armies might be stopped or sent into confusion before it could reach our templed gate.
“I do not want to seem to interfere, Lilah, but do you not think it would be wise to blast a portion of the wadi? There have been no newcomers now for several days and the last party barely escaped capture at the very entrance to the watercourse. We have all that we need here in our valley for sustenance. We do not need to go outside.” Simon spoke carefully and I knew that he had given much thought to his suggestion before giving voice to it. My heart contracted with anguish, for Paul was still outside. If the entrance were closed how would he be able to come inside? Yet, of what use for him to return if foolishly we did not close every possible avenue of invasion?
Lilah seemed to ponder his suggestion, but then she cast it aside as being of little value after all.
“The whole wadi is too narrow to let tanks or armored cars through so that leaves only the infantry and the cavalrymen. Unless they guess our plan of defense and wear some new kind of armor themselves I see no reason why we can’t pick them off as fast as they come indefinitely.”
“What of the airplanes? They will not always be satisfied with reconnoitering and shooting at us with cameras.”
“You are right, Simon, but so far there hasn’t been a blockbuster big enough to blast clear down through even a fraction of the layers of rock over our dwelling places. If everyone follows directions and remains inside, unless on definite assignment, I do not think we need fear even the slightest loss from that quarter. And as for atomic bombing—you have all noted the heavy lead doors and shields Paul had installed on the outer walls of the largest rooms. If the right precautions are taken and we do not attempt to come out too quickly we run few risks even from atomic radiation. Now that scientists have found ways to combat the burns to a certain extent, even if some should be caught by passing outside too soon, I think they need not suffer too greatly. As for the gases, you have seen how only faint wisps of smoke and the smell of burning gases have trickled down into the valley. There are strong natural air currents that stir and lift the air tossing back the impurities and drawing in new clean air. No, I really believe that the city is completely invulnerable from the outside.”
A vague stir of apprehension chilled me as she spoke. Yet, what if there were traitors within the gates? What really could they do to hamper the carefully plotted defense? Surely one or another would be found out if they even made a slight move to sabotage the city. There were not the usual murmurings of dissatisfaction such a large and heterogenous group might be expected to express. All the latest comers had come because of their new-found belief in Jesus as Saviour, and their faith was such that even the threat of invasion could not shake them seriously. We who had come first had been partly believers and the fast-piling of events, and the earnest pleas of the Rabbi and the laymen who could not keep from testifying of the new joy they had received, soon had won all. I could not believe that there could be a single enemy agent within the rosy walls of our valley!
There was one phenomena which had at first confused the gatekeepers. That was the constant infiltration of Arabs. It had been difficult for the older, more orthodox Jew to accept this new Bedouin. Perhaps the Arab had departed less far from God than many of our people who had been ashamed of their nationality, and had even hidden it in new names and complete severance from all things pertaining to the Jews, even to the point of denying God. Simon argued long and earnestly with the leaders responsible for opening the doors to these Arabians. He had known Ahmed and had seen how quickly he had made his stand for Jesus. Many had come indeed because of Ahmed’s preaching. The Rabbi, himself, delved back into our books of the prophets to give God’s Word of approval to their coming,
“We have shut our eyes and our minds to the fact that while God gave to Isaac the greatest promise of blessing as a nation, yet He did not wholly disregard Abraham’s other son, Ishmael. Wait, do not misconstrue my words. I did not say that God promised him the same lands, the same inheritance. I have re-found new scriptures which helped me to understand the old ones better. One of these I give to you so that you will not think I believe our Arabian cousins can ever take our place in God’s promise to us—I think it runs like this, ‘for the son of the bondwoman shall not be heir with the son of the freewoman’. Yet, again, I want to point out to you the fact that God did give an heritage to Ishmael. I need not remind you, my people, of the ageless story of Abraham, his impatience, and of the son begotten of that impatience. We have long loved and cherished that story because of its importance to ourselves. We briefly glance at Ishmael and feel a scorn and anger that he was even included in the story at all. But I think that if we would take time to look more closely at the child clinging to his mother Hagar’s hand, we would see that God did not deny him his father’s blood but gave to him also a blessing and a promise.”
“We are but children, Rabbi; give us of the meat of your wisdom that we may be wise, also.”
So the Rabbi read again the story and as he slowly read he examined it for our hearing.
“‘I will multiply thy seed exceedingly, that it shall not be numbered for multitude’;1 to Isaac it was promised that his seed should be as the ‘sands of the sea’2 and the ‘stars of heaven’.3 Ishmael’s should be multitudinous, yet a multitude need not be compared with the sands of the sea or the stars of the sky. Do you see how God gave to each his own promise?” He read on, “‘and he (that is, Ishmael) will be a wild man’4; he has always been a wilderness people, not loving the cities and the commerce that we love. A different promise! but just as sure and certain of fulfillment! ‘His hand will be against every man, and every man’s hand against him;’ the world has never been able to understand the Arabian, but he has not wanted to be understood, because it was his very difference that gave insurance against an encroaching world. ‘And he shall dwell in the presence of all his brethren’. We have always been a separate and different people whose characteristics have marked us as Jews though we sometimes tried to hide it. To both Isaac and Ishmael similar promises were given, but they were only alike on the surface. Each was actually very different. Ishmael would never lose his identity, but his was a wilderness identity content to roam the mountains and plains, tending his flocks exactly as his father Abraham did. Isaac would never lose his identity, but his was a cosmopolitan and a commercial identity never content unless making progress, either in wealth, science, industry or wherever he set the abilities and special powers willed to him to work. Do you begin to see what I mean?
“The Arab does not want to be like the world, he does not even want to know all the things the world knows or did, not until very recently. All we have desired has been to be completely conformed even to the point of unrecognizability with the wo
rld. The promises continue—and again we find one like unto the promise given to Isaac, yet even it did not promise as much as his—‘Behold, I have blessed him, and will make him fruitful, and will multiply him exceedingly; twelve princes shall he beget, and I will make him a great nation.’5 To Isaac there were given twelve princes, fathers of our twelve tribes. To Ishmael another twelve sons were also given to father the great nation promised to him. Do I need to go on? Yes, there are still other promises and they have something to say about the coming time of peace when the Messiah shall reign from Palestine and we, with Him, for so is our promise. Isaiah gives to the children of Ishmael a part in that time, too—‘all they from Sheba (which is Arabia) shall come: they shall bring gold and incense; and they shall shew forth the praises of the Lord. All the flocks of Kedar (again Arabia) shall be gathered together unto thee, the rams of Nebaioth (Arabia again) shall minister unto thee: they shall come up with acceptance on mine altar, and I will glorify the house of my glory.’ So shall there be harmony at last between the two sons of Abraham, the Jew and the Arab! And if we see them in danger, when their eyes behold the Messiah, shall we deny them the safety of our city?”
There could be only one answer to such a question after such a plea. So the few Bedouins who came were welcomed and we found, as we had already found in Ahmed, that they were a pleasing and a friendly people after all. We could not suspect the dark cousins, who set up their tents in the shelter of the walls, of conniving against us for they were not strangers but brothers by right of physical birth through Abraham and again brothers by right of spiritual re-birth through Christ Jesus, one Lord and one Messiah!
1. Genesis 16:10.
2. Genesis 22:17.
3. Genesis 26:4.
4. Genesis 16:12.
5. Genesis 17:20.
26
AS IN THE DAYS OF NOAH
LILAH WAS BUSY, but not too busy finally to tell us of some of the orgies and terrible things happening before she came. I was sick because of her tales which the radio and others confirmed as true. It seemed unbelievable that men and women had gone to such depths in order to get safety and food for themselves. I had seen women sell themselves for a bit of food while in Europe. There was a deeper, more terrible degradation in the trafficking that was going on now.
“But what of marriage? Surely, there are some happily married people—not all are—are—” I groped for the right word and Lilah supplied it with her usual shrug.
“Philandering? You’d call it that. As for happy marriages they don’t have time to sour! Married one day—unmarried the next!” I must have shown shock for suddenly Lilah laughed, “Oh, Tanya, you’re precious! After all, marriage ‘till death do us part’ was on its way out long ago! It was only a sort of outmoded bondage anyway! Why should two people be irrevocably bound to each other when love cools?”
“But that is making a mockery of marriage!” I could not and did not suppress my horror.
“Well, the last marriage ceremonies I attended were just that—mockeries, intended mockeries, of the old-fashioned weddings. It’s easy to get married and just as easy to get a divorce. If one bothers to wait for that!” she gave me a sudden darting glance and it stirred uneasiness within me.
Suddenly I knew I did not want to carry the discussion further and Lilah fell silent, too. I had returned the love-letter to her, but its words were indelibly on my heart. Her recent words blended with some of them to form a horrid song that would not be stilled but sang its dissonances over and over in my brain—“How can I stand this waiting longer? …. If one bothers to wait….. How can I wait? …. Why bother to wait? …. Wait ….. Wait … … My arms are hungry ….. Why wait? …. My lips are thirsty ….. Why wait? …. I would not be happy ….. That will come….. That will come….. Why wait? ….”
As if in answer to my thoughts, Lilah turned to look strangely at me and there was a veil on her eyes and a twist to her lips that made me afraid of her, even before she spoke lightly. Even the lightness of her mocking voice was heavy to my ears.
“When one loves one does not wait. If love cooled once it might cool again—that is the new code, Tanya. Not to you here but to everyone out there.” And I knew why she emphasized the everyone, and why her laugh was like a taunt bidding me contradict her if I dared!
Long into the night I tossed restlessly on my bed listening to the lions roaring on the mountain tops and the answering, sharper yelping of the jackals. It was not their circling voices that kept me awake but the circling, circling questions and fears and half-answers coiling and uncoiling in my head that would not let me sleep. I could not believe, yet I had no other course open to me than to believe. I would not have taken Lilah’s word—but I had Paul’s word! How did her word match up with the Word he had determined to spread at any cost? They must be at variance, yet both seemed true. I had seen the results of Paul’s work in the countless people who had heeded and come to us for refuge. I had seen the letter which had never been intended for my eyes and I could not deny its truth. I might try to convince myself that the love-letter was a forgery but it had come into my hands by accident. Under more propitious circumstances Lilah might have shown the letter to me herself in order to gloat over her conquest, but not just when she most needed support, not enmity. A single word given or withheld would have swayed the balance, as indeed it had. I had seen the fear in her eyes and knew how she must have been shaken when she saw that I had her letter. I had seen the startled disbelief crowd out the fear when I gave the proof that she needed to place her in command. It had not been easy to give that approval with the contents of that letter burning its way through my dress pocket, into my very veins to scorch and consume with its fire.
I fought against believing what she had insinuated, yet there was enough of possibility in it to make me go down deep, deep into my bottomless pit of despair! I even lost sight of Jesus who had been always before me since I had come to know Him, I bit my lips to keep from crying aloud into the darkness, but I could not keep my body from writhing on the rustling oleander boughs. I was glad that Lilah’s corner was so far away. At least she would not be afforded the satisfaction of hearing and guessing why I tossed and turned. Another heard, however, and presently I felt my mother’s gentle hand on my twitching shoulder and heard her soft whisper,
“May I sit here beside you, my daughter?” I would have refused because I was ashamed to let her see my humiliation, nevertheless I moved to make room for her. I lay tense while her fingers were warm and quiet, feeling the surge of emotion that made me quiver and jerk, in spite of the tight hold I had taken upon myself.
“She is beautiful, but not so beautiful as the woman who has been daily growing within my daughter,” She spoke softly letting me know that she had seen enough to guess why I could not sleep. “First it was Rachel, then it was your own fear of falling short, then it was the grudge for the sick and the suffering who took him from you, then it was your people, now it is this woman! Must you always be jealous and afraid?”
“Oh, Mother! How can I help it? There has been so much to fear!”
“I know, Tanya. You have seen uncertainty and fear but they are in the past. Don’t let their shadow follow you always!”
“Mother!” Impatience with her misunderstanding drew me erect. “I could escape shadows but not truth!” I began to cry again and crept into her arms, glad for their comfort and strength. “Oh Mother, she is so clever and so beautiful!”
“She is clever, yes, but not wise enough to find happiness for herself!”
“She will be happy, Mother. And she has more right to happiness than I. She can stand by—by Paul’s side, helping him in ways. I never could hope to be able to help. You thought I was wrong to be so sure he would do wonderful things—I was wrong in lots of it but not all. He is wise and kind and a leader. Together they will have so much—she will help, not hinder.”
“Do you think then that you have been a hindrance, little Tanya?” gently she spoke, ignoring the implica
tion in my words of impending separation.
“What else? He offered his help and after its need was past I clung and held him to the bargain! Perhaps if he had not felt it necessary to return to the village, and his obligation there, some of the awfulness Damon plotted could have been prevented. But Paul was too kind to hurt me so he came back leaving others to do what he could have done better.”
“You are really in the depths aren’t you, my little one?”
“You laugh, but wait until I have finished, then you will see—you were worried when we were so long without a child—that was not strange because the bargain was still just a bargain made to help me when I needed it. I saw how he turned to Lilah, but I shut my eyes and let Paul see—see the love I could not keep down. Knowing Paul are you surprised that he let me have my own way even knowing that he loved another and that—that she loved him?”
“If it were true; but lie could not have pretended the love that was plain for all to see. Hush, Tanya, let me talk. You forget that we talked when you were ill on the boat and already he had found more than pity in his heart for you.”
“Isn’t love very close to pity, Mother? In fact can there be pity without a kind of love?”
“I suppose not—if you insist on looking at it that way.”
“I don’t insist but I must look at it that way, Mother. He loved me but it was the kind of love that he would have given to a sister. Lilah saw it and chided him about it. She was right when she thought we acted more like brother and sister than husband and—and wife. They had so much in common—they knew so many things and places and shared the same homesickness for them. The only thing we had in common were the things he gave to me—at the clinic and nursing and—and our son.”
“And God. Or the searching after God. Do you not think that counts for something?”
The Lost City Page 24