“I didn’t have to smell most of them. A few came by. The older mated bitches brought us portions of their kill.” He wanted to spare her any more anguish. For the rest of their lives he would make sure she never smelled the way she did right now. Betrayal and scared acceptance mixed up to make a bile stench that was terrible to breathe in. Knowing what she’d been through over the past few days was all his fault made it all the harder to stomach. “Of course, then they left and hurried to gossip and growl what they believed the truth was.”
“When did you find out I was alive?”
“Last night. And I’m sorry I didn’t run up the mountain right away. It smelled smarter to come in the daylight with my cousin running with me.”
She smiled at that. “You want your pack to believe I’m dead.”
It was the first smile he’d seen on her since finding her in that fucking cage. In spite of there being no smell of happiness, Ayden took what she offered at the moment.
They’d discussed enough of the past few days. Right now, it mattered more that he took care of his mate. Forcing his worry and negative thoughts to retreat, Ayden worked to make it not obvious that he was intentionally creating relaxed and peaceful thoughts for her. He didn’t exhale out the bad, didn’t suck in a deep breath to force his mood. It mattered a lot, he believed, that Magda know she was safe. And now that he knew who the enemy was, Ayden wouldn’t let his guard down again.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to insure you’re safe.”
He took in the enticing curve of her long neck. Her shoulders sloped into finely tuned muscle. And he enjoyed watching suds float down her dark skin. Taking the wash cloth, he dunked his hand into the water and began rubbing it up her spine. Magda arched into the caress. Her nipples were covered with soap that dripped free when they lifted out of the water.
“Did you plan on killing Puck?”
“Something like that,” he grumbled, entranced by her hard nipples that forced water to trail in paths around them. “I thought they’d killed you. I focused all my attention into nursing my littermate. Otherwise I would have created a blood bath.”
Magda shot him a side glance. “You would kill for me?”
”Yes,” he answered without hesitating.
Grabbing the bar of soap, he began washing her body meticulously. When he lifted her long, black hair, he spotted the marks on her back that he instantly recognized as healing bite marks. There were fading bruises. He looked closer and saw where she’d been scratched, and where other wounds had been around her hips. Ayden put his arm around her and leaned over the bath to lift her from the water.
“Ayden, what—“
“How many hauled you to that cage?” he asked, barely managing to reign in his fury as he took a really close look at her body.
Magda started to curl into herself and goose bumps spread over her flesh. “I—uh—don’t remember. It was dark. Three. Maybe four.”
“What did they do to you?” Ayden snarled his words. He started seeing red. Whoever had touched his mate would die before the night was over.
“Ayden,” Magda said. “Ayden!” she yelled louder. “Put me down. I’m fine.”
Ignoring her protests, he lifted her until she stood in the water. Ayden squatted, staring at her nudity, but for the first time only seeing what might have happened. And he’d carried her to the tub so any scent left on her was now washed away.
“What are you doing?” Magda snapped, hugging herself and trying to sink back into the water.
“What did they do to you?”
Magda squatted sideways in the bathtub, facing Ayden and matching his position.
“They herded me up the mountain. I didn’t know where I was going and all I saw was white fur everywhere. They were all males, and large. There was no way of seeing over them, and looking up only caused me to bump into them. They bit at me to keep me running in the direction that they wanted. Apparently the shed door was already open because when they reached it they ran me to the door. I ran inside, not realizing what I’d done. Suddenly there was no more white fur surrounding me. I heard the door slam behind me and the click of the lock. I stayed in there for three days with only beef jerky and granola bars to eat.”
She stopped talking and stared at him. Her eyes were large and opened wide as her pupils shifted to study his face. Suddenly her mouth formed a tight, small circle.
“Oh,” she breathed. “They didn’t do that.”
Magda lifted a hand that dripped with water and touched the side of his face. The water was warm. Her skin was warmer. And her scent so refreshing it broke the dam of icy hatred building inside him. He turned his head, kissing her palm, but didn’t take his gaze from hers.
“Ayden,” she whispered. “It was easily the worse experience of my life. But now that I think about it, had I been a rogue Malta werewolf, they would have killed me on sight. I was thrown in there because they knew I was your mate. In spite of hating what you’d done, your pack respects you enough not to kill me. And I promise, my handsome white male, none of them did anything to me. I never saw any of them after they locked me in there.”
The anger and hatred that had climaxed in him so quickly, dissipated with a deflating rush. This female, the beautiful creature who gazed at him smelling of love, had just been through hell. Yet she squatted in front of him, bruises still mending on her flesh, and growled reassuring words to make him feel better.
“How did I get a female as incredibly perfect as you?” he asked, seriously wanting the question answered.
Magda laughed. Her smile lit up her face and her dark eyes glowed. The bathroom filled with the clean scent of happiness and it continued hanging close in the steam built up in the small room even when her expression grew serious.
“I’m far from perfect,” she murmured. “But I have wondered the same thing about you many times.”
If there situation weren’t still so grim and dark, Ayden might have whistled when he left Magda in his bedroom and went to the kitchen for food. Anthony lay on the couch, where he’d been most of the past few days, with his eyes closed. His breathing was slow. Ayden studied his littermate for a moment, searching Anthony’s face. He looked so relaxed and at peace asleep, almost the way he had looked as a pup.
Ayden worked to make as little noise as possible while gathering food and putting it on a plate for his mate. Over the past few days, those he loved most had come close to death because of horrendously wrong decisions that he’d made.
He’d been a selfish bastard, and too self-focused to smell past his nose. Ever since first sniffing out Magda, he’d been content to keep her in that cave, because it was a safe place for him to run to her. But then she’d run from him. Ayden had instantly jumped to the hunt, not once thinking her reasons for running might have been worth sniffing out first.
The other morning, once again Magda tried leaving. She had stressed to him that she wouldn’t run from him twice, but was howling first that she was leaving. Again, all Ayden smelled was his scent on her. He knew what love smelled like; and was sure he’d picked up on that emotion.
Ayden had worked his angle. He was positive he’d be able to convince Magda to run in the direction he wanted her to run. And he’d succeeded. All he’d really smelled was his own happiness. He hadn’t taken time to try and smell Magda’s fear. And he hadn’t wanted to notice his littermate’s wariness and concern over Ayden sneaking away from their den all the time.
All he’d known was that he’d fallen in love. That had been the only thing he’d gotten right. He most definitely loved Magda, with all his heart. But it had been a selfish love, one that had hurt Magda and Anthony.
Shaking his head, he picked up the plate he’d piled with food and started around the counter. “Asshole,” he mumbled.
“I can smell your pity party in my sleep,” Anthony grumbled.
“What?” Ayden looked at his littermate. Anthony’s eyes were still closed and he didn’t look as if he’d moved.
&nbs
p; “I smelled how happy the two of you were in the bathtub. Now you are doped up on your own sorrow. Fucking tail, Cariboo. Quit with the mood swings already.”
Ayden swallowed the snarl on his lips. “I should have told you about Magda sooner.”
“Yeah, you should have.”
“Would you have accepted her?”
Anthony opened his eyes and turned his head slightly so that his blue eyes impaled Ayden with raw emotions. “I would have tried and howled some sense into you.”
Ayden nodded. Maybe that was the truth. No matter how he had played it out, the same outcome would have happened. Maybe after a good night sleep with his mate cuddled in at his side, all of this would be clearer to him.
“And I wouldn’t have succeeded. I think you’ve made the biggest mistake of your life. But I smell how much you love her, and you’re happy.” Anthony looked away first and stared at the ceiling. “These past few days are an example of how your life will be from now on.”
Ayden nodded, hearing what Magda had howled to him before they’d run here. Life as you know it ends forever if you walk out this door with me.
“That’s what Magda told me before we ran here,” Ayden said.
Anthony only nodded. “It’s the only life she’s ever known. Maybe you should have listened.”
Floorboards creaked in the small, dark hallway. Ayden glanced that way as Anthony shifted, turning so he was also able to sniff out the noise. Magda appeared at the end of the hall, but hesitated in entering the living room. Her shiny, long black hair fell in moist strands well past her shoulders and down her back. Its shade contrasted with the thick, white bathrobe of his she wore. It fell to her ankles and her feet were bare. She had the cloth belt that went with it tied so that it showed off her narrow waist. Magda held its lapels closely together, which had her hands pressed together just below her neck.
She shot Anthony a wary look before focusing on the floor between them. “I told Ayden that I wasn’t worth him giving up everything he has ever known, and everyone he has ever loved.”
“And I didn’t listen,” Ayden said before Anthony spoke. “I was so sure my way was right that I didn’t take time to smell the truth.”
“So now you’re feeling sorry for yourself?” Anthony snarled.
“You regret your decisions,” Magda said, her tone bland. She nodded as if this made sense to her.
“Wait a minute.” Ayden put the plate of food on the counter and walked over to Magda. He pulled her forward and planted her in the comfortable chair which had been his mother’s favorite. Then returning to the food, he brought it to Magda and placed it in her lap. “Eat,” he grumbled. “I’m not feeling sorry for myself. And I don’t regret my decisions. I do regret not thinking out their repercussions. And I regret believing that I was so loved in this pack that those who did love me would love you, too.”
“Sure smells like a pity party,” Anthony grumbled, and moved slowly to a sitting position. “But since you’re taking time to smell the truth”—he pointed at Magda—“She’s right. She isn’t worth your throwing away everything you had, everyone you have ever known or loved. Because that will be what you’re doing. Stay with this female and you lose your world, your life—everything. She’s a freak of nature, Ayden. You must see that by now.”
“What I see is that my mate smelled trouble and protected her mate in the best way she knows how. But because that way of protecting is different than yours, she’s a freak? Leopards are different from us. So are owls. Are they freaks?”
“Leopards and owls can’t make things fly through the air that shouldn’t be able to fly through the air,” Anthony howled.
“So because they’re on the same playing field as us, then you’re totally cool with them,” Ayden concluded.
“That’s right.”
“You can’t stand leopards. You’re being a hypocrite. Owls fly. We can’t. Again, Anthony, you’re a hypocrite. I would have thought better of you. Magda is who she is—and she’s my mate!” he snarled. “Next time, maybe take time to sniff out the situation for yourself and form your own truth before running to save someone.”
“She dropped a God damned boulder on me,” Anthony growled, his teeth growing as he began stinking of anger. “Our laws say she’s to be killed on sight. That’s conclusion enough for me.”
Ayden leapt toward Anthony, wishing his littermate were more mended so he could beat some sense into his head. “You took off running with whoever would join you on a hunt to take her down! And don’t you dare how about laws to me,” he roared. “Did you think for one moment that I had enough sense to run with a female who had honor?”
Anthony pushed to his feet. He didn’t look that stable but held his own. “Next time she might kill someone before you can stop her,” he said, his voice a rough whisper. Then walking around Ayden, he headed to the door.
“Where are you going?” As pissed as he was, his littermate was in no condition to try for a night run.
“I have other dens where I can stay. Leave with your mate. Escape the pack if you can. I won’t stop you.” Anthony opened the door and closed it silently behind him.
Chapter Seventeen
Magda stood staring out Ayden’s bedroom window while snow fell outside. With his bedroom door closed, it was cold enough in the room for her to see her breath in the dark. Her thoughts tormented her too much to feel the cold, or to sleep.
Maybe she’d slept a few hours. If she had, they’d been loaded with dreams that repeated the arguing she’d witnessed between Ayden and his littermate. Magda remembered Ayden before meeting him. She’d sniffed him and Anthony out while hiding from the leopards in the woods after managing a near escape from them racing up the mountain. She’d been exhausted, hungry and in her fur for far too long. Yet the moment she’d smelled Ayden and Anthony and the Cariboo who’d run with them, she’d picked up on the bond.
It was how she’d known that all three of them weren’t littermates. The third Cariboo had been someone close, but the tight connection between littermates who trusted and loved each other was an unmistakable aroma. Magda knew. There had been that same close bond with her littermates.
It tore at her heart knowing the male she loved now knew a rift between himself and his littermate because of her. Ayden really did love her. She knew he was prepared to leave all of this behind, the den he’d been whelped in, the pack who obviously held him in a high place of honor, and the only world he’d ever known. That made her hurt even more.
Magda hadn’t told Ayden she wasn’t worth it because she thought little of herself. No werewolf, regardless of who they were or how they ran, should give up all they knew, all they loved, in order to have love. It just wasn’t right.
She shivered when she turned from the window. Suddenly it was cold. Not just from the deep chill that had settled in the room after being closed off from the fire for part of the night, but from an aching chill that sunk deep inside her clear to her bone marrow. She stepped lightly toward the door.
“Where are you going?”
Magda jumped at the sound of Ayden’s voice. His eyes were still closed and he hadn’t shifted positions when she turned and looked at him.
“Just to the bathroom,” she whispered in the darkness.
“Hurry back,” he grumbled and rolled to bury his head in her pillow.
She stared at him a moment longer, her eyes welling with tears. Magda opened the bedroom door and closed it behind her. She went to the bathroom and didn’t pace as she ached to do. Ayden was probably listening. As much as she wanted to protect him from the pain of losing everything he’d ever known, it was just as strong in Ayden to do the same for her. She expected him to listen and know she was safe.
Which was why she remained in the bathroom for a minute before doing her best to open the door without making a sound. Magda crept down the hallway to the living area. She didn’t want to run from him again. Both of them had been through too much for her to dishonor him by even giving it
thought. Not to mention, she loved him. She’d learned how much with all the time she had to think while locked in that cage disguised as a shed.
Their loving each other would always keep Ayden captive just as his pack had kept her. There was only one way she knew of to set him free. Magda began trembling as she reached the front door. She had to do this. Although terrified, she knew that while she remained alive, her love would become a steel trap around Ayden.
“Don’t use your gift. Don’t use your gift,” she repeated, hoping to engrave the message on her brain when she reached for the door handle to head outside. Her fingers trembled and her palms were too damp. The smell of her fear made her stomach turn.
“Where are you going, female?” a soft, low rumbling whisper asked from behind her.
Magda spun around, unable to catch her breath for a moment. She stared at the dark figure sprawled on the couch. Her own emotions had run so strong she hadn’t smelled Anthony, who apparently had returned sometime in the night while she’d slept.
“To—to find you.” Her voice shook as much as the rest of her body.
“Plan on trying to kill me again?” he asked.
“No.” Magda sucked in a breath. In spite of the noticeable warmth from a burning fire that Anthony had obviously kept going in the night, she wasn’t able to stop shaking. It was fear. Hell, she was terrified. But she had to see this through. “I planned on trying to sniff you out to ask you to kill me.”
“What?”Anthony came to a sitting position on the couch, looking a lot less wounded than he had hours earlier.
She walked over to him on wobbly legs. Magda fell more than squatted on the floor facing him. She might have appeared the pup before the master, ready for a lesson in life, except it was the end of life so that another might live that she wanted.
“Please be quick.” She hated how pathetic she sounded. No werewolf wanted to die smelling like a fool, or overcome by fear. Few died of old age. Most hoped they died honorably in a fight where they accomplished something good before taking their last breath.
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