I rub my hand over his torso, trying to take a mental note of everything about him in this moment—how he looks, how he feels, how he smells. I know without a doubt he is the second best thing to ever happen in my life. The first is obviously seducing his mom at our best friends’ wedding. She might be sorry about it, but I’m not. I don’t regret it for one single second, and I never will.
Caden’s face scrunches up as he yawns, and I know he’s getting sleepy. I should probably let him fall asleep in his crib and try to grab a little shut-eye myself, but instead I scoop him up to cradle him in my arms. He gets restless, fighting sleep, so I rock him back and forth and try to soothe him by softly singing:
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you
So please don't take my sunshine away
Kelley
I wake up from a dead sleep in a panic. It takes me a minute to adjust to my surroundings, and when I realize I’m in Ryan’s bed I relax back into the pillows. I immediately sit back up, hating myself for forgetting this shouldn’t be comfortable. I knew it would be hard to resist feeling all the same things I’ve always felt being here, but it’s going to be even harder to leave a second time.
I slide out of bed to go check on Caden. As tired as I am you’d think sleep would come easy, but there is so much weighing on my heart and my mind he’s the only thing that keeps me calm. Seeing him all small and content reminds me that nothing else matters and it was all worth it.
I shuffle down the hall to the nursery, silently in case he’s sleeping. I freeze outside the door when I hear a voice. “Dude, what the hell are we feeding you?”
I smirk and press myself against the wall, peering into the room. Ryan’s back is to me and I stifle a giggle as he grunts and makes gagging noises while cleaning Caden up. The diaper tab rips as he tries to secure it, and part of me thinks I should interrupt to let him know there are more in the closet. But a bigger part of me is curious to see what he does. When Ryan reaches for the toolbox and pulls out a roll of duct tape, I just about lose my shit laughing.
“Your dad is a fucking genius, little man. I hope you get that from me.” I roll my eyes, but warmth blooms through my chest.
As Ryan puts Caden in his crib I know I should slip back to the bedroom and let them have their special father-son bonding moment, but my feet won’t budge when I hear the next words that come out of Ryan’s mouth.
“But I hope you get a lot more from your mom. She’s the fucking coolest and she’s going to need you. I screwed up, and as much as I want to be there for both of you, I don’t think your mom wants me around anymore. It’s all my fucking fault, so don’t ever think it’s hers, ok? I’m going to need you to take care of her, though. Can you do that for me?” There is a pause before Ryan adds, “I’ll hate myself for the rest of my fucking life knowing she doesn’t believe I can be Mr. Right for her, so now it’s up to you, kid. I know that’s a lot of pressure to put on a guy, but she’s worth it. I promise.”
I lean my head back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling, letting silent tears pour down my cheeks. It’s all my fault for breaking this resilient, strong, honest man.
When I hear his soft, deep voice singing “You Are My Sunshine,” I place my palm over my mouth, stifling a low, gut-wrenching sob as everything becomes painfully clear—Ryan Blake is what fate had in store for me all along.
A short while later I wait in the living room while Ryan finally gets Caden to sleep.
“Hey, you’re up.” He looks startled to see me as he walks into the room.
Not wanting to waste any time, or lose my nerve, I bite out, “Did you mean what you said?”
“What part?” he asks, confused.
“Everything you said at the beach, what you said after. All of it.” I need to make sure one last time this isn’t all in my head.
He stares at me, his jaw tense, not moving until finally he takes a step forward so we’re mere inches apart. Without breaking our gaze he grinds out, “Every last fucking word.”
Good enough for me. Without hesitation I launch myself forward at the exact moment he catches my face in his hands, our mouths meeting hard and fast. I moan into his mouth, needing him and his cinnamon taste as much as I need air. His fingers twist in my hair, bringing me so close I’m not sure where he ends and I begin.
Eventually he breaks away, resting his forehead on mine so we can each catch our breath. I hold onto his arms, refusing to allow him to let go of me. Not that he tries to.
He only pulls back slightly and grins at me in such a loving, irresistible, cocky way that the next thing I know I blurt out, “Will you marry me?”
Forget all the cliché fairy tales—this princess is finally going to fight for her prince for a change.
Rather than look surprised, Ryan looks pleasantly amused. “You know we’re already married, right?”
“Well your proposals kind of sucked so it’s my turn.” We both chuckle before I get more serious. “I just want you to know that I’m choosing you, Blake. I love you and want to be with you, exactly as you are. I don’t care what happened before and I don’t care what might happen later on. I don’t even care if you tell me you love me or not. As long as we both know we want this, right here, right now, that’s all that matters.”
Ryan grabs my chin with his thumb and forefinger, forcing me to look right into his sincere eyes. “I fucking love you, Brooks. Can’t you see that? I’m in love with you. Madly, deeply, fucking stupid in love with you.”
I smile, holding back my choked up emotions at finally hearing those words fall from his lips. That doesn’t mean I still won’t give him a hard time, though. “Shouldn’t you be calling me ‘Blake’ now, too?” I tease.
“Trust me, nothing makes me prouder—or harder—to know you’re mine . . . your body, your heart, and your name.” He gives me a quick, but passionate, kiss on the lips, pressing his hard-on against my thigh to prove his point.
He pulls back with a cocky grin. “But you will always be Brooks to me, Sunshine.”
I really wouldn’t have it any other way.
Ryan
Seven Weeks Old
“What the fuck? They’re late. I’m going to kill your Uncle Lucas, Caden. Hope you’re not too attached to the asshole.”
“Hey!”
“Sorry. Hope you’re not too attached to the butthole.”
I pace back and forth from the living room to the kitchen, Caden resting on my shoulder.
Kelley laughs from the couch, making me growl. “It’s not funny, Brooks.”
Today is the first day Kelley and I are cleared to have sex since Caden was born, and Lucas and Kinsley were supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago to watch him for the night. I love the little guy, but tonight I need his mommy all to myself. I have a lot planned, and most of it involves her being naked with my dick inside her. Ok, pretty much all of it does.
Thank fucking god the door opens a second later and Kinsley and Lucas come barging in.
“So sorry we’re late. We, um, lost track of time.” Kinsley blushes while Luc doesn’t look at all like he’s sorry. From their rumpled hair and clothes, I can fucking guess what they were up to. The bastard actually looks smug. Yeah, rub it in, you child-less prick. Just wait until a screaming kid causes you to have the worst case of blue balls imaginable.
I practically toss Caden into Kinsley’s arms—making sure to be gentle and giving him a quick kiss on the head—before grabbing Kelley’s hand and our bag and dragging her to the door.
“What’s the rush, Ry? You seem kind of on edge.” Lucas leans back on the couch, stretching his arms and legs out. The jerk knows how long I’ve had to wait for tonight so he’s being an ass on purpose.
I don’t have time to sit here and argue with him, so I settle for shouting, “Screw you, Graham” as we leave the apartment.
Just before the door closes I hear
him yell, “I thought you wanted to screw your wife?” I hear a soft thud that sounds like a hand smacking a shoulder. “What? I thought that’s why we’re babysitting tonight?”
Kelley laughs louder as I herd us into the elevator. Normally I’d find this shit funny as hell too, but right now I really just need a minute alone with my woman.
As soon as the elevator doors close I push her up against the side, silencing her laughter and eliciting a groan from the back of her throat. I thrust my tongue past her lips, savoring every dip and ripple of her mouth as I drink her in. I instinctively grind my hips against hers when I feel her do the same. God I’ve missed feeling her.
The elevator dings to indicate we’re at the lobby so I reluctantly pull away. Kelley pouts in protest. I’m tempted to stay here and continue this all night too, but the surprise I have for her will be well worth the wait.
“Are we there yet?”
“No.”
“How about now?”
Jesus, every fucking time with this girl. I grunt my frustration, but really I’d listen to her ask a million times.
As soon as I pass the sign that reads Peyton Cove, I can feel the excitement radiating off Kelley in waves.
The sun is just starting to set as I walk us out to the beach, to the same spot we promised forever. The beach is deserted, a big red blanket and picnic basket laid out before us, just as I requested. Let’s just say Marge Brown has more pull in this town than I originally thought.
Kelley chokes up as she, too, remembers everything that happened here. I take her hands in mine, wanting her to know this time it will be different. Without saying a word, I reach into my pocket and pull out two rings—one a small, shiny diamond and the other a simple loop of twine.
After I slip them on her finger, I place a small kiss on top of them. “There. Back where they belong. Where they’ve always belonged.”
I put my lips to hers, kissing her long and deep. I figure it’s best not to get too caught up in words right now . . . they usually get us in trouble. I instead let my mouth, my hands, and my heart do the talking. They’ve always been better at expressing how I feel, anyway.
I guide Kelley down to lay on the blanket, coming to rest on top of her. I take a minute to stare at my beautiful fucking wife. Her long hair is down and flowing around her shoulders, her gorgeous eyes dancing with lust and love. She’s wearing a white sundress, which really needs to go. I reach for the hem, pulling it up to reveal the fact she’s wearing absolutely nothing underneath.
Man, I really fucking love her.
I shed my own clothes in record time and kiss my way across her skin. I trace my fingers up her thigh, gently roaming until I reach her softest flesh. I want to make sure she’s ready for me, because once I start there will be no holding back with her. All or nothing from this point forward. For-fucking-ever.
I rub one finger over her clit until I hear her breath quicken, slowly pushing a finger inside to find her wet and willing. She grabs my ass to pull me closer, whimpering into my ear.
Not able to hold back any longer, I thrust inside her, fireworks exploding above us.
Literally . . . I hired a barge to set off fireworks as soon as the sun went down.
Kelley’s eyes fly open in surprise. I grin like a damn cocky bastard and whisper warmly into her ear, “You always said you wanted fireworks, and I want to make sure you have everything you ever dreamed of.”
The sparkle in her eyes is the most beautiful look I’ve seen on her yet, and trust me, she’s always beautiful. She holds onto me tighter as we find our perfect pace, each giving and taking everything we need as sparks and color light up the sky around us.
The End.
Find out more
Want a little behind the scenes peek about the making of this book? Head on over to http://jshbooks.com/books/mad-addiction/behind-the-book for more!
To the greatest husband ever—Clifford Peter, you are my sunshine.
To my family—Your excitement and support in this writing venture make me feel all sorts of warm and fuzzies.
To Kristine of Glass Paper Ink Bookblog and Erin Daniels of Read and Ramble Book Blog—Thank you for not only being such amazing fans of my first ever book, Crazy Beautiful, but for also being such sweet beta readers for this next one! To know Lucas, Kinsley, Kelley, and Ryan have such enthusiastic cheerleaders makes writing their stories even more fun.
To April Wells, Lydia at HEA Bookshelf, Maleesha at The Romance Room Blog, Megan Keith, Ang at PNR Book Lover Reviews, Tamara Roach, Jeananna at The Book Reading Gals, and the rest of you amazing bloggers—Words cannot describe how incredibly thankful I am you took the chance on a new author and said such lovely things <3
To Kari March—Thanks again for the beautiful cover design! (And putting up with my craziness! hah)
To Ellie at Love N. Books—I’m happy I found your name on that bathroom wall!
To Christine and Nichole at Perfectly Publishable—Thanks again for polishing this beauty up. Your attention to detail allows me to breathe a sigh of relief when it’s time to send a book off into the world!
And finally, to anybody who takes a chance to read this—You have my heart. Thank you!
When she’s not making confetti as head honcho over at The Confetti Bar (theconfettibar.com), co-dreaming with creative women through Monarch Workshop (monarchworkshop.com), and blogging about her health & wellness journey going sugar-free at Simple Unsweet (simpleunsweet.com), Jessica loves to spend her nights getting caught up in imaginary worlds.
She lives in central CT with her husband, Clifford, and the cutest cat EVER, named Curious.
She loves colorful things, making people smile, things that smell good, and is obsessed with lemon water. And glitter. Lots of glitter.
She also loves, well . . . love. (She’s a sucker for a sweet story.)
You can check out what she’s up to at jshbooks.com and on Instagram (@jshbooks)
Want to know anything else? Feel free to say hi at [email protected]!
Mad Addiction (Crazy Beautiful #2) Page 17