by London Casey
“A little. But what four-year-old doesn’t?”
“I wouldn’t know. I have no experience with this situation.”
“Situation?” I asked. “You really need to work on your words, Sawyer.”
“You know what I mean.”
I smiled. “I know. I just like messing with you.”
I sat with my back to the arm of the couch and slowly put my legs across Sawyer’s legs as he sat upright. We both had a bottle of beer. The TV was turned way down. It was just us hanging out. It almost had the feel of how things were a long time ago. But that was deadly temptation because it wasn’t years ago. It was right now. A different time and we were two different people.
But one thing that didn’t change - I still loved him.
2.
Sawyer twisted the caps off our third beers each and handed me one. We tapped bottles together and he winked at me.
All these years later and that wink did something to my heart and body that was impossible to explain.
“Sawyer,” I said. “You were right.”
“Right about what?”
“What you said about before. What happened when you left. My part in that.”
“What?”
“What I did. I hurt you. I purposely hurt you. Things between us got out of control. I wanted to attack you and I knew how to do it. I knew that making you jealous would get your attention.”
“Oh, darling, don’t worry about that now,” he said. “I’m trying to sort through all that shit and let it go. Trying to be here in this moment, you know? I mean, Tate and I have to figure out how to survive together. There’s a lot of people that rely on the shop to stay open and stay busy. And then there’s you, Kate. I’m not going to step in and become some protector and provider. But I want to be here with you. For you. Next to you. I want all of you.”
I smiled. I sat up, my legs still across his. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his shoulder.
“What I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry,” I said. I put my chin on his shoulder. “Anyone I was near though back then, nothing happened. I mean… you know…”
“Darling, why are you telling me this?”
“I don’t know. I just feel like I should own up to my part in everything too. I loved you with all my heart. And I couldn’t save you. I couldn’t save myself. Then it all exploded. You were just gone. And it wasn’t just one day or two days. It was… forever.”
“It wasn’t forever,” Sawyer said.
“It felt like it. Then my sister called and said she was pregnant. That sort of took the edge away, if that makes sense. She was already six months pregnant when she told me. She hadn’t gone to any doctor’s appointments. No checkups. Nothing. She went by the fact that the baby kicked. I shifted mindsets and… I guess what I’m saying is that Jason sort of saved me in all of this. Tate was there. But Jason saved me.”
Sawyer nodded. “I hate that. I hate that you needed to be saved from me. I thought I was leaving to put everyone in a better situation. Stupidity.”
“Brains were never your strong suit, Sawyer.”
He looked at me and curled his lip. “Thanks for that.”
“But you’re really sexy and good in bed.”
He laughed. “Good in bed, huh? It’s been a long time, darling.”
“I know,” I whispered.
I swallowed hard and bit my bottom lip.
I could have totally blamed the beer. Two and a half beers… in a short period of time…
Screw it - I wanted and needed Sawyer right now.
3.
I pulled at his shirt and tried to kiss him. We were at an awkward angle so I ended up almost trying to make out with his cheek. Before I could totally embarrass myself, Sawyer took charge and pulled at my waist, sliding me on top of him.
I straddled him with a sigh and put my hands to the back of the couch. I looked down at him, his eyes burning and my body on fire. His hands slowly began to cut under my shirt, touching my bare skin. Those long fingers against my waist and curling around to the small of my back made me tingle. He pulled at me, driving my hips down, making sure I could feel him.
There was plenty to feel and it was getting more and more by the second.
I made an o shape with my lips and exhaled slowly.
It had been such a long time.
His hands moved around my body to the front. My back arched and I thrust my chest at him. My teeth chattered and I put my head back, shutting my eyes, telling myself it was fucking okay to lose myself in this moment. This wasn’t a forever moment. This was me getting something I desperately needed for myself. All my responsibilities were done for the day. I paid my bills. I put food on the table. I made sure everything that needed to be done was done.
Now I wanted something for me.
Sawyer’s hands eased up the front of my body and over my breasts. He used his fingertips to trace lines along the bottom of my bra and with a quick flick of his wrist, my bra popped open. I almost forgot how quick he could do that.
His hands came back around and touched my bare breasts. Sliding over my full chest, cupping under me, lifting just enough to bring me relief. My hands moved from the couch to his shoulders, squeezing first, but then clawing allowed his thumbs to move in unison, flicking across my nipples. I jumped and groaned, shivering, feeling them tighten as they stiffened.
I slid my fingers down the sleeves of his t-shirt until I felt the familiar muscle of his arms. I hurried to grab the bottom of my shirt and lift it up over my head. I tossed it over my shoulder as Sawyer moved just as fast to pull my bra down my arms, letting it fall right between us. I lowered my arms to my sides and sat there on him, topless, looking down at him as he looked up at me. Meeting my eyes.
A little smile crept across his face. I hated when he made that smile because it made me feel beautiful.
He touched my arms and ever-so-slightly slid his fingers up to my shoulders and to my neck. I put my head back again, offering him my chest again, wanting to feel his kisses all over me.
But Sawyer surprised me.
His hands took full control of my head as he forced me to look down at him again. He pulled at me, bringing me down to him, wanting to kiss me.
The moment our lips touched, I felt an explosion inside my body. And a bigger one between my legs. I caught myself thrusting against him, feeling his bulging thickness against me. Separated by layers of clothing yet it still made me shiver with a burning need, knowing damn well how beautifully thick it really was and how it felt as it swelled inside me.
Sawyer kissed me so slow, my lips started to quiver. He had never in my life kissed me like this before. Seconds burning between us but he didn’t give a shit. He just held me there, slowly, gently kissing me. Memorizing my lips and tongue with his tongue. Never allowing me to take control. If I tried to speed up he would masterfully swirl his tongue to keep control. It made me breathe heavily with frustration. It was a good frustration though.
He moved one hand to the back of my head and ripped out my hair tie. My hair fell forward, the way he always liked it. It was so much that it covered both of us. The sweet fruity smell of my cheap shampoo flooded us. Something about it though made this entire thing even hotter.
I slowed my attempt at speeding up the kiss just as Sawyer broke the kiss again. His hands slid down me and around to my back, pulling my chest toward him. My hands grabbed for my own legs as I felt his hot breath against my bare chest.
I groaned and shut my eyes.
His lips kissed just above my left breast. He slowly moved down, letting his lips flirt with my nipple. He kissed and moved to my other breast. His left hand came up and cupped my right breast as he opened his mouth and took it into his mouth. He sucked hard, his tongue suddenly darting in all directions against my nipple. The faster and harder he kissed my chest, the more I drove my hips against him. I could no longer hold back. And I wasn’t going to hold back. With his hands spread wide across my back, he fully had me, but
I wanted more of him.
I brought my hands between us and inched up a little on my knees.
Sawyer broke his kiss to my chest and growled, going back for more. I forced my hand between his legs and squeezed, feeling the definition I craved for comfort and pleasure.
That’s when Sawyer pushed forward and stood up.
I gasped and wrapped my legs around him. He held me tight, putting me at eye level with him. There were a few silent seconds between us, knowing the dangerous road we were about to go down again.
This time I kissed him. And the only reason I broke the kiss was to tell him one thing. One word.
“Now…”
EIGHTEEN
SAWYER
1.
She demanded my shirt off, and I had no objections to it. As I took my shirt off, she grabbed for the front of my jeans and wasted no time in ripping them open. Her hand slid inside, over my boxers, and I gritted my teeth as her hand began to explore.
I backed away just enough so I could pull her hand from between my legs. Maybe not the smartest move in that moment, but I knew she would get everything she wanted and then some soon enough. Her hand touched my stomach and ran up to my chest and to my shoulder.
“Fuck, Sawyer,” she whispered. “Why do you have to look like this?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” I said and made my next move at her.
I pretended like I was going to kiss her but skipped her lips and went for her neck. My hands slipped into the sides of her pants and gently pushed them down. I began my descent, trailing kiss after kiss down her chest, cutting between her breasts because I knew it would drive her crazy. The moment my lips touched her belly, she shuddered and gasped, grabbing my hair. I knew how ticklish she was but I always knew how to kiss her in a way that flirted between ticklish and feeling really damn good.
I gently stripped her pants down as I kept kissing down, going to my knees before her. In some fucked up way, this was my offering to her. I could spend every single day of my life apologizing trying to figure out what happened before, or I could just get on my knees in front of her and show her what she meant to me.
Kate kicked out of her pants and I was left to face off with a pair of dark blue panties. My fingertips curled around the front of them and I gently tugged, revealing more soft skin for my lips to explore. I kept pulling and I kept kissing, feeling her heat and the wildness of her desire attacking my nose. That feral smell was enough to make any straight headed man and make him instantly insane. My hands moved to her hips and I pulled as hard as I could, making it fucking clear that playtime was over.
I gave Kate three seconds to kick off her panties and then she was finally all mine. My hands eased to the back of hers and I pulled, spreading her legs just the way I wanted her to be. The sight of her sweetness left me wondering what the hell had I really been thinking when I left all those years ago. She was perfect and always had been.
I came forward, writing the words I fucking love you with the tip of my tongue. Although I was pretty sure she didn’t get the message. I sliced between her folds, finding her sweet center, my tongue demanding some of her forbidden honey. When I had my sampling, I inched up and swirled against her tender clit. That’s when I moved my hands to her perfect ass and pulled, bringing her tighter against my mouth. She jumped at me, moved to her toes, and let out a whimpering cry. Her hands grabbed for my hair, pulling, her body convulsing with jumpy thrusts as I went for the kill.
I knew the spot and I knew how to hit it and I knew how to never give up on it, no matter what she tried to do to me.
As I slightly turned my head, I had more of her. All of her. And I wasn’t going to let up until I got what I wanted.
That happened a minute later when she started to shake and melted into my mouth.
But that was just the beginning.
2.
I climbed into the bed and nestled my body up against hers. On our left sides, her back to my front. She was still breathing heavily from what I had done with my mouth. But trust me, all I wanted to do was tell her how beautiful she was and how much I love her.
I touched her hip and pulled her tighter, my cock digging its way between her legs. She parted herself for me, reaching back and touching me. Her fingers against my thickness, gently sliding from tip to root and back up again. I sucked in a breath and watched her touch me. I thrust a little, a warning that I wasn’t going to finish like this. I needed to be inside her.
Her hand tried to grip me, pulling, guiding me to her body.
The moment I felt the swell of her sex, I gritted my teeth and readied myself not to thrust once and explode. That’s what her body was capable of. She was deadly. And I was okay with that.
I turned my body just a little, my legs almost on top of her legs, taking control again. Her hand moved from my cock and grabbed at my ass, her nails sinking hard into me.
I thrust and entered her, sliding myself inch by fucking inch, taking myself to the hilt. She turned her head, burying her face into the pillow, crying out in a now muffled voice. I tightened my grip on her curved waist and pulled back, giving her a quick second to catch her breath before fucking forward again. I held her right there, offering myself over and over to her, feeling her as she felt me.
Kate slowly moved to her belly and I went with her, guiding myself on top of her, never stopping for a second from having her. I kept my right hand on her hip as I pulled at her when I thrust forward. My other hand was flat against the bed. She began to match me, chasing me down when I pulled back, messing with my rhythm but making damn sure there wasn’t an inch of myself that didn’t feel her.
She turned her head and gasped for a breath of air.
I moved her hair out of her face and eased back a little, sliding my hand from her hip down to her leg and pulled, bringing her to her knees. I watched the way her back arched as she showed me all of her body. She had more curves than a roller coaster and she kept me just as dizzy. I felt myself reaching the swelling point of no return. I made the quick move to ease away from her and turn her to her back so I could face her and stare into her eyes as I came.
I sank back into her as she clawed at my back.
I moved as fast as my body needed but I never looked away from her.
She was all mine, and not just in that moment.
I wanted her to be all mine for the rest of my life.
3.
It had been another busy day at the shop. I couldn’t believe the amount of people who came just to say they were there. People wanting to take selfies with the guys as though they were celebrities. I knew that St. Skin had its own persona online but it seemed to be a little out of control. But the guys loved it. The people loved it too. They would drive for hours and across several states to have a chance to get tattooed by one of us. Those who didn’t know who I was were hesitant at first, only until they were told that the place was named after me.
I finished up my last piece - a mushroom and a fairy on a woman’s arm - and decided to call it a day.
I opened the door to Prick’s room and gave a nod. “Long day, brother.”
“Yeah. Good day though. Want to get a beer?”
“It’s hard to turn that down.”
“But you’re going to,” Prick said. “That’s what pussy does to you, man. It traps you. Like a Venus fly trap, brother. Catches you and slowly turns you into mush.”
“Is that why you hit it and run?” I asked.
“No,” Prick said. He stood up. “I don’t hit it and run. I make it very clear what I’m about to do. And what happens after. You can’t imagine how many nice goodbyes I’ve had. It’s like an appointment. You get Prick, you get the dick, and then you hit the skids.”
I laughed. “Wow. What a life to live.”
“You only get one,” Prick said with a wink.
“Something tells me you should put half the shit you say on t-shirts. You’d make a fortune.”
“Then I could quit this dump, right?”
“Quit?” Tate’s voice growled as he stepped up next to me. “Who’s quitting?”
“Prick is,” I said. “He’s going into the clothing business.”
“Clothing business?” Tate asked. “I thought he was in the business of taking off clothes.”
“Again, you’re misguided,” Prick said. “I don’t take clothes off. They do. Makes it so there’s less attachment. See, there’s an art to the one night stand.”
“And a medicine cabinet full of antibiotics,” I said.
Tate laughed.
“Fuck you,” Prick said. “Both of you.”
“I think we hit a nerve,” I said.
“Maybe irritability is a side effect of one of those antibiotics,” Tate said.
“You know, with my expertise, you’d think I’d get better treatment around here,” Prick said.
“We’re just messing around,” I said.
“I’m not,” Tate said.
Prick threw us the middle finger and the three of us laughed.
I turned away from the room as Tate started to talk to Prick about numbers. I watched as Cass crouched to catch his daughter jumping into his arms. He scooped her up and stood up, walking to Diem, kissing her.
It made me smile.
Family.
That’s all I ever wanted.
That was the idea behind St. Skin.
Me and Tate grew up damn near living on the streets. Learning so much about people and how different the world could be, but how it was all beautiful. We wanted to create a place for people to come to and not feel judged by their ink and express themselves in a way that kept them away from the demons that wanted to destroy them. The demons that hid in the bottom of a bottle. The demons that snuck up on Prick. Or just demons that lived in our hearts. Regret. Doubt. Worry. Fear.
That’s what St. Skin was. A big family.
Cass left the shop, carrying his daughter, holding hands with Diem.