by London Casey
I reached up and put my hands to his wrists and pushed them away. I had to get close to him again. I buried my face into his chest and felt calm.
I guess I just needed a good cry.
Sawyer picked me up off my feet so I was eye level with him. The tears dried as we started to kiss. He carried me to the bedroom where he put me on the bed, climbed on top of me, and had the perfect way to wash away everything that was bothering me.
He whispered he loved me in my ear and his lips began to kiss my neck. His hands slid up my shirt. I guess I was supposed to get changed into some pajamas anyway, right? Maybe tonight I could wear Sawyer.
I arched my back as my shirt moved up my body. I scrambled to take my shirt off as he kept kissing down my belly. I took off my bra, which was like a giant sigh of relief for my entire body. By then, Sawyer was already gently easing my pants and panties off together at the same time. He inched all the way down to the end of the bed and when I looked down to see what he was going, I saw him taking his shirt off.
I bit my lip at the sight of his muscle laced, tattooed body.
His hands touched my legs and I shivered. He didn’t break his stare as he stood up. A giant of a man. My protector. My lover. The one who was capable of keeping me happy for forever. But also capable of destroying me. That’s what real love was about. The risk of being with someone who could have you and hurt you. And you just had to trust they wouldn’t hurt you.
It also helped when Sawyer took his jeans off right there in front of me, showing me what all those kisses to my body did to his own body. He was rock hard, everywhere, standing tall, everywhere, and he came back down to the bed.
His lips kissed my left breast. So gently, so perfect, making me hiss.
My hands touched the sheets and slowly made two tight fists. My hips lifted off the bed until I felt him touch me.
“Oh, Sawyer,” I groaned. “Please…”
His tongue flirted with my nipple. “Beg me, darling.”
“Please, please please,” I whispered. “I need you.”
He kissed right up to my neck and went to my ear. “I fucking need you more, darling.”
I opened my mouth to argue that statement and he lowered his body down, welcoming himself to me.
He stole my breath as he took my body.
His right hand eased to the small of my back, pulling at me, making sure I felt all of him.
Believe me, I felt everything.
I still couldn’t breathe as his lips began to flirt with mine.
I moved my lips, trying to tell him something.
He bucked his hips, making it clear I wasn’t going to be able to speak or breathe until he was done with me. I opened my hands and traded the sheets for his back, holding tight, my body demanding more of him, which he was willing to give.
We kissed for a second and I went for his neck. Tasting his rough skin, moving to his shoulder, stopping there, biting at him.
The words were still lingering on my lips. The words I wanted to say but didn’t get a chance to.
I love you, Sawyer… I never stopped loving you… I never will stop loving you.
TWENTY
SAWYER
1.
I stood in the hallway of the preschool and watched the way Jason strutted around like he owned the place. He insisted on showing me every little thing they had worked on. Finally, Kate had to step in and tell him it was time to go into his classroom. He gave Kate a big hug and kiss. It made me smile watching them together. I knew it bothered Kate about Jason’s situation, which was fine, but the kid would grow up and understand life in a way that would serve him better.
Sometimes getting a shit hand in life was a good thing. Learning life’s lessons wasn’t easy but a kid like Jason would be smart and strong. Just like Kate. All of it was because of Kate.
Jason looked at me and gave a quick wave. “Bye.”
“See you, kid,” I said. I put my fist out. “Remember?”
“Yeah,” Jason said.
We fist bumped and he turned with his little backpack on and hurried into the classroom.
Damn me, but I felt my chest tightening a little.
The innocence of it all.
I looked at Kate and smiled. I reached for her hand and nodded for the door.
We left side by side and I walked her to her car. She was dressed in those black pants she wore to the diner. The ones that fit her ass in a way that made me jealous of everyone that would see her.
“Have a good day at work,” I said to her.
“You too.”
“I took care of that electric bill.”
“What?”
“I mailed it out.”
“What are you talking about? You went through my stuff?”
“No, darling. It was right on top. It was a shutoff notice. You can’t fuck around with that.”
“Sawyer, you’re not supposed to…”
I touched her face. “There’s a lot of things I’m not supposed to do, Kate. When have I ever given a shit about that? I wasn’t supposed to fall in love the way I did with you. I wasn’t supposed to open a tattoo shop when I did. Do I need to go on? Sometimes I make good decisions. Sometimes I make bad ones. I’m not going to let you struggle to the point of having your lights turned off.”
She didn’t look happy and that was fine by me.
“I’m mad at myself, Sawyer.”
“Why?”
“There’s ways for me to make extra money. Sometimes I just… I should just start doing that. That’s what a good mother would do.”
“You’re a fucking great mother, Kate. You can’t work yourself to death and never get to see Jason. That’s not a good life for you or him. Now, if you could work at St. Skin and make some cash…”
“Not there,” she said. “My friend, Maggie. She’s the one who helps with Jason. She owns her own graphic design company. She always asks for my help. I could start helping her a little.”
“Perfect. And if you need me to, I can hang out with Jason. I mean, when you’re comfortable with that. We can all hang out until that happens.”
“I hate you right now.”
“Hate me?”
“This is everything I’ve ever wanted, Sawyer. You. A family. I mean, the circumstances suck. But this… us…”
“I know,” I whispered. I leaned down and kissed her. “We’ve always taken the worst path to get to where we want to go.”
“Yeah. I’m glad you’re back. There, I said it. I’m really glad you’re back. But I can’t help but think you’re going to leave again.”
“I know,” I said. “There’s nothing wrong with thinking that. I told you that you don’t have to trust me. All that shit takes time.”
“The scary part, Sawyer? I do trust you. With all my heart. I can’t believe I just watched you and Jason fist bump each other. You can’t imagine how happy he is right now. Probably telling all his little friends about you.”
“Hopefully it’s all good things,” I said with a smile.
“He hasn’t gotten to know you enough to see your asshole side.”
I laughed. “There’s the woman I love.”
The words slipped from my mouth and Kate’s cheeks turned red.
Damn.
“I better get going,” she said. “I can’t be late.”
“Yeah. Neither can I. Is Jason okay getting out of here?”
“Maggie is picking him up,” Kate said. “I have it all worked out.”
“Of course you do. That’s why you’re a great mother.”
She grabbed my shirt and pulled me in for a kiss goodbye.
I backed away and watched her get into her car and drive away.
I climbed on my motorcycle and let out a long breath.
Everything felt damn good at that moment. But that left me uneasy.
Because that was usually when shit hit the fan.
2.
I walked into the shop and saw Tate and Cass talking. It was a little quiet
er than it had been.
“There he is,” Tate said.
“Sorry. I was dropping Jason off at school.”
Tate raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“You heard me.”
“Holy shit,” Cass said. “You’re the father figure now.”
“Like it’s hard,” I said. “Give the kid some pizza, some toys, and ship him to school.”
“Yeah, it’s that easy,” Cass said with a laugh.
“I’m kidding,” I said. “I’m far from a father figure. Kate was with me.”
“Wow,” Tate said. “First I have to deal with Cass becoming a dad and now you. Anyone else feel like coming forward with a kid?”
“I’m sure Prick has a whole family out there,” River said as he walked toward the front of the shop.
“Imagine that,” Cass said. “A bunch of little Pricks running around.”
“Little Pricks,” River said and laughed.
“Talking shit about me again?” Prick asked.
“Always,” Tate said. “Where’s Maddox and Zayne?”
“They’re coming,” Prick said.
“And Axel?”
“On his way.”
“What’s this?” I asked. “Intervention? Kicking me out for good?”
“That’s what it is,” Tate said. “We got enough cash together and we’re buying you out. Shipping you away, Sawyer.”
“Oh yeah?” I asked. “What’s the shop going to be named?”
“St. Skin,” Tate said. “Fuck your nickname.”
“Nickname,” I said. “Right.”
“You know we’re just fucking with you,” Prick said.
“Are you?” I asked.
“Of course we are,” River said.
“If you would have checked your goddamn phone,” Tate said, “I sent a text to everyone that we’re having a meeting.”
“Oh, right,” I said. “I must have missed that text.”
“We ready?” Zayne asked as he appeared from nowhere.
Maddox was finally there too.
Before I could ask about Axel, I heard the thundering rumble of a motorcycle right behind me and turned to see him pulling up to the curb. He hadn’t been around the shop as much as normal, taking some time for a personal situation he refused to talk about. The giant of a man stepped off his ride and entered the shop.
Everyone smiled when they saw him. He put up his middle finger as a clear warning to not ask him anything.
All of us were now together.
“Lock the door,” Tate said to me.
I did so and folded my arms, waiting to see what this was about.
Tate dropped a couple folders to the table with the books of tattoos.
“Decisions,” Tate said. “What to do here. We can buy a building or we can build a building. We have to figure out where, what size, how to manage the place.”
“We can float around between two places,” Prick said.
“That’s stupid,” Maddox said. “We need to expand our crew here.”
“With who?” River asked. “Can’t just start hiring people.”
“We all know enough artists out there,” Tate said.
“I agree,” I said. “I can bring plenty up here in no time.”
“To stay?” Axel asked in his rough voice. “Might be hard to get some people to just pack up and move. Especially if they’re well established somewhere else.”
“Well, depends on how we run the shop,” I said. “This place is stable. We could use the new shop for events. Have guys and women come and go for days, weeks, whatever. Make it an event. That way this place is what it is. And then we have an expansion shop.”
“You know what that means?” River asked.
“What?” I asked.
“TV, brother,” River said. “That’s the smart way to do it.”
“Fucking cameras everywhere?” Axel asked.
I gritted my teeth and looked at Tate.
“It’s a tough call,” Tate said. “We have a great online presence as it is. We can keep growing that with the new shop. Focus everything there. But there is always the chance for a TV thing. We can structure it just for that shop. Could help us bring in big talent. Some of them might want to be on TV.”
“Some might not want that,” I said. “And how does that work? With writers and scripts and all that shit?”
“I’m not having some punk with a notebook tell me how to feel,” Axel said. “I don’t act.”
“We can do it ourselves,” Maddox said. “Fuck signing anything.”
“Signing means money,” Cass said. “Money for all of us. Building this name and brand. And then a chance for each of us to have our own side thing.”
“You’re looking for the limelight again, huh?” Zayne asked.
“Fuck you, man,” Cass said. “My rockstar days are long gone.”
“You’d still do it in a heartbeat,” Axel said. “I wouldn’t blame you.”
“It’s true though,” River said. “I mean, you’re all right. We get some cash and doors open. Clothes. Logos. Music. All kinds of shit.”
“That’s why I say no to it,” I said.
All eyes went to me.
“Explain,” Tate said.
“We’re a fucking brotherhood here,” I said. “Me and Tate started this business as that. And now we’ve grown. Fuck me for not being here during those exploding times. I get it. My words aren’t worth shit. I know that. But if we start signing deals, we’re at the mercy of everything we’ve gotten away from. We’re fucking working for someone else. You’ll have suits and ties making up the rules. Telling you what to say on camera to sell some products. Right? You want to make fucking t-shirts? Why? So you can sell clothes in department stores? Christ, that’s not what this is. I’ll fucking take my name right off the sign. You can all start over.”
There was silence.
“Goddamn, brother,” Axel said. “Really pulling at the emotional strings there, huh?”
“I agree with him,” Tate said. “But, we own the place. You all run the place. That’s why I wanted to have this meeting. So everyone gets a voice. The way we’ve always done this.”
“What about what Maddox said?” Zayne asked.
“We lose the big money up front and per episode,” Cass said.
“We control the content,” River said.
“This is too much business talk for me,” Maddox said. “I just want to tattoo people and make money.”
“Right,” Tate said. “So, let’s look at the expansion first. We either find a place or build a place. And then we decide how to run it.”
“I like the floating tattoo artist thing,” River said.
“I agree,” added Cass.
“Yup,” Maddox said with a head nod.
“I’m in,” Zayne said. “Not that I matter as much as the rest of you.”
“Fuck that,” Prick said. “You’re one of us, brother. We’re all in this together.”
“Surprisingly, you haven’t said much, Prick,” I said.
“That’s a miracle in itself,” Axel said. “Don’t ruin it.”
“I don’t do tattoos,” Prick said. “I could, but I like what I do. I would gladly get on TV and go wild. You know me. I’d sell my soul for the cash. But I’m not going to fuck up what we have here. I can bounce between both locations. Or I can reach out and find someone for the new shop.”
“So we agree on how to think this out,” Tate said. “Every month we have a new crew working the shop. Bring in people from across the country. Go wild.”
“Wild is good,” I said. “Wild is free. This is all about being free. We’re outlaws with ink, telling stories through our tattoos.”
Tate opened one of the folders. “You all can look at this. There are some risks and benefits to building a new place versus buying. We’ll talk about it later.”
“Can we open the shop now?” River asked.
“Fuck yeah,” I said.
I unlocked the door.
Everyone broke apart and went to their own spaces to get set up. It took less than a minute before music started echoing all around.
Axel lingered around for a few seconds before going to the door.
“Hey, you okay?” I asked him.
“Fine. Just clearing my head.”
“Miss you around here.”
“Fuck you, Sawyer. You were gone for years. Now you’re back, kissing everyone’s ass.”
“Still have that charm about you, huh?”
Axel grinned. “It’s just me.”
“I’m glad you were here to talk. This is important.”
“I know,” Axel said. “And all I give a shit about is tattooing people. Me and Tate have gone toe to toe over this shit before. You know, when you weren’t around.”
“Keep reminding me of that, Axel, and we’re going to have take it out back to clear the air,” I said.
Axel laughed. “Time and place, brother. I’d love to work that out with you.”
“Make sure you get your ass back to work soon,” I said. “Hate to see you fired.”
“Fired?” Axel asked. “That would never happen.”
“I know,” I said. “You better damn well know that we’re here for you. Whatever is going on.”
“Stick to your problems, Sawyer,” Axel said.
Axel gave a quick head nod and left the shop.
Now it was just me and Tate standing there.
“Wow, he’s happy,” I said.
“It’s Axel, what do you expect?”
“Is he okay?”
“He’s fine. Personal shit.”
“You know what’s going on?”
“I have an idea,” Tate said.
“Right. Well, if he needs anything from us…”
“He’ll be fine,” Tate said. “Let’s just stick to the present thing here.”
“The meeting. Right. Your thoughts?”
“As long as we’re all on the same page.”
“Same book.”
“I guess that’s a start,” he said.
“What do you want, Tate?”
“Everyone to just keep doing their thing,” he said. “I’m just keeping this open and honest. So nobody thinks I’m sneaking around behind their backs, signing deals.”