by Meka James
“Yeah, okay,” he replied before shutting my door.
In my rearview mirror, I could see him standing in the driveway, watching my car as it drove away.
“What are you doing, Calida?” I asked, gripping the steering wheel tighter. “You’re making things worse that’s what!” I continued to scold myself.
Needing a moment to collect myself, I drove to the first parking lot I came to. I whipped into a spot near the back, threw the car into park, and then let out a long frustrated scream. I wasn’t ready for this; I should have told him that. Instead, I told him to put in an offer on a house. A house he expected me to live in with him.
If I had just opened my fucking mouth, yesterday or today, I wouldn’t be in this mess. I’d been doing okay. I’d been holding it together. But in one day Malcolm had managed to throw my delicately constructed life out of balance. Head resting on the steering wheel, I concentrated on taking slow breaths to calm myself.
A tap on my window startled me. I looked over to see a sweaty guy with a stack of flyers in his hand. He held them up, pointing to show they were coupons for a car wash. I shook my head. He shrugged then went off to put the flyers on the windshields of the other parked cars.
Malcolm kept touching me. Why wouldn’t he? It’s what normal people did in relationships. He’d wanted to kiss me. But he didn’t. Then I flinched when all he was doing was opening my door. He looked so hurt by that.
I covered my face and took a deep breath, attempting to shove all those feelings back where they belonged. I held up my hands and stared at the slight trembling. Opening and closing them a few times, I willed myself to calm before continuing to my parents’ house.
~~~~~~~~~
When I arrived at their Druid Hills home, just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse, there was Dorian’s car. She’d been coming to visit them more often. Our relationship had changed. She remained a snarky bitch more times than not, but I no longer let her walk all over me like I used to. Most of the time.
However, she proved useful when things came up with Jokobi Enterprises. I had no idea what to do with Seth’s company. I’d been an interior decorator, so dealing with acquisitions and whatever else that place did was way out of my league. My head hurt simply thinking about it, and I had zero desire to try. There’d been enough on my plate with trying to care not only for Shawn, but also myself. That was the hardest of all the tasks.
Mom had encouraged me to call Dorian since corporate law was her specialty. I’d expected her to shoot me down, but surprisingly, she’d been happy to help and had kept doing so on a somewhat regular basis when things came up. However, in true Dorian fashion, she disguised her nice acts behind insults, saying that without her, the board would swindle me out of my shares because I didn’t have the brains for business. Once a bitch, always a bitch. But that was Dorian, and I expected nothing less from her.
I pulled down the visor and checked my appearance in the mirror. Through the makeup, I noticed the dark circles under my eyes. I looked tired, but sleeping on the floor after drinking a bottle of wine would do that to a person. Although, these days I always looked tired, so I couldn’t really use that as an excuse. Reaching into my purse, I pulled out my compact to add more concealer under my eyes. Once I was satisfied all dark circles were hidden, I flipped the visor back in place and climbed out of my car.
Dad opened the door wearing a huge grin. “Hey, baby girl,” he said, hugging me. “What brings you by?”
I laughed. “Um, I don’t know, Dad. Maybe to pick up my son?”
“Now why would you do a thing like that?”
I followed the sound of Shawn’s laughter and Mom’s voice toward the back of the house. Dorian was playing with Shawn, tickling him, and his giggles filled the space. There were bags sitting beside the fireplace. More stuff, she was always buying him stuff. Dorian still hadn’t apologized for her horrid behavior toward me over the years, so it was her strange peace offering. Clothes, toys, more books, all more than he could ever use. I’d recently given away two bags of clothes he’d outgrown before he got a chance to wear them.
“Hey, honey,” Mom said.
“Hey, Mom. Hello, Dorian.”
“Hello, Calida.”
Shawn squirmed in Dorian’s arms when he saw me. She put him down, and he teetered over to me.
“Congratulations.”
“Huh?”
“Mom tells me you and Malcolm are engaged, so congratulations.”
I turned and gave my mom a look of disbelief. “Mom! Really? Engaged?”
“What? You might as well be as far as I’m concerned,” she replied, walking around the space, and picking up the toys. “Where is he anyway? I figured he’d come by with you.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose and mentally counted to ten. I did a deep inhale and audible exhale. I knew she meant well, and I’d not given her any reason to think this wouldn’t be something I’d want. My crush on Malcolm had never been a secret, and he’d always been part of the family as much as Macy.
“No, we are…dating. Sorta. Not engaged,” I clarified, looking at Mom. “And I’m not sure where he is. Why would you think he’d be with me?”
“Because, you two…you know…”
“Oh my god, Mom! No. Malcolm and I have not…‘you knowed.’ I went home last night. Alone.” If I had longer hair, I would have pulled it in that moment.
Dad took that as an excuse to leave the room, taking Shawn with him. Didn’t matter how old we were, he still left anytime the mention of sex, or even the idea of it came up.
“Thanks for showing up, Calida,” Dorian said, laughing. “Before you got here, she was lecturing me on my failed marriage.” She moved to take a seat on the sofa.
“Oh, Dorian. Always with the dramatics. I was not lecturing you. I was merely suggesting you not give up so easily. Anyway, Calida dear, back to you and my future son-in-law.”
“Mom, stop! Please,” I snapped.
Mom’s lips pressed into a tight line, and I heard Dorian gasp. I let out a soft groan.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean to yell. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s been a crazy day. First Dr. Carr and then dealing with Malcolm and his expectations, it’s all been a lot to deal with today.”
I plopped down onto the floral print, oversized chair, dropping my head into my hands.
“Honey,” Mom said, squeezing in beside me. “You saw Dr. Carr today?”
Shit! Shit! Shit! I can’t believe I let that slip. “It’s nothing, Mom. I…I just wanted to tell her the good news. I mean, this is what everyone wanted, right? Me finally moving forward with my life.”
“Yes, that would be nice,” Dorian chimed in as she examined her perfectly manicured, red fingernails. “I think you’ve milked this victim role long enough.”
“Dorian!” Mom scolded.
“Milked it?” I asked incredulously, looking over at her. “Right, that’s what I’m doing.” My voice dripped with sarcasm. “How’s Daniel doing these days? Still fucking his secretary and happy to be free of a viper like you?”
Mom let out a loud gasp. “Calida, language!”
Normally, I tried to play nice in front of our parents, but it was not a good day for Dorian to mess with me. Her face turned beet red. She stood and stormed out of the living room.
“Sorry about my language, Mom, but she pisses me off, and I’m tired of it.”
“I really wish you and your sister would get along better,” Mom replied, rubbing my back.
“I’ve tried, Mom, but she can’t seem to stop being such a b…witch toward me. Not for long anyway.”
“She’s stressed right now, honey.”
I rolled my eyes. She wasn’t stressed. She’d been that way all her life, I didn’t know why they’d never seen it. Maybe it was a parental thing, not wanting to see the worst in your kid—I knew I tried hard as hell not to see it in Shawn—but I refused to let Dorian walk all over m
e any longer.
“Now, back to you,” she said, smoothing down the short strands of my hair.
Gently, I took her hand to stop that action, and then leaned over to rest my head on her shoulder.
“I’m okay, Mom.”
She put her arm around me. “You don’t seem okay. In fact, you seem rather upset. You wanna talk about it?”
“Hey, what happened with Dorian?” Dad asked, walking back into the room.
Mom gave my knee a pat. “She and Calida are at it again.”
Dad chuckled and shook his head. He walked over, and sat Shawn in my lap, and gave me a kiss on the top of my head. “What am I gonna do with my girls?” he asked before walking toward the kitchen.
I gave Shawn a tight squeeze. I wanted to go home and spend the rest of the day alone, but I’d told Malcolm we’d come over.
I spent another hour at my parents’ house. Dorian even came back out and joined us. I glanced down at my watch. By the time I made it to my house, I’d only have to leave again to get to Malcolm’s small, one-bedroom Midtown rental. We’d just go early. I’m sure he wouldn’t care. I called Mal to let him know we’d be over soon. As expected, he was happy about our pending arrival.
Chapter 5
Malcolm
“There’s my man.”
I immediately took Shawn from Ginger when I opened the door. He squealed in delight. When I reached up to close the door, Ginger flinched, almost as if she were bracing for impact. I tried not to let her reaction bother me. I wanted us to have a good time tonight.
She stepped away and turned to face the floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room. I kept the blinds open most of the time so I could take in the city view.
“This place fits you perfectly. Twenty-four-hour concierge, no maintenance to worry about. And this view. Are you going to miss it?”
“The view? Yeah. When I toured it, the polished concrete floors and exposed brick were my favorite features, but the view, that’s what sold me on this place.” I put Shawn down on the white, shag rug that sat beneath my black leather sofa. “But it’s time to move on. This place is more bachelor pad, and that’s not who I am anymore.”
Ginger looked back over her shoulder in my direction, but made no comment.
“I ordered pizza, should be here shortly.”
“That’s fine.” She walked over and took a seat on the sofa, and pulled some toys out of the diaper bag. “So, what movie are we watching?”
I gave her a large smile. “Despicable Me Two.”
“I don’t think I’ve seen the first one.”
“Really? You’ve been missing out. This is cinema movie greatness.”
A knock on the door interrupted her response. She slid onto the floor to play with Shawn while I paid the delivery person.
“How are you not big as a house with all the takeout you eat?” She asked as I carried the pizza box into my small kitchen.
“Lots of vigorous physical activity.” I replied with a wink.
“Malcolm!” Her face turned red, and her eyes widened. “I don’t know if you’re the kind of influence I need around Shawn with comments like that.” She picked up the portable high chair. Still wearing a disapproving frown, she carried it over to the table.
I grabbed two plates from the cabinet. “What are you talking about? I’m an excellent role model. I’ve been teaching him all the finer points of picking up the ladies, and let me tell you, the kid is a natural.”
Shawn walked over to us. I leaned down and picked him up, ruffled his hair, and got his bubbly laughter in response.
“Malcolm Frankel! Tell me you have not used my son to pick up women?” Her hands rested on her slender hips as she glared at me.
“What? Me? Never,” I replied in mock innocence as I fastened Shawn into his high chair. “Buddy, we may have to cancel those clubbing plans tonight. I think she’s on to us.”
Ginger rolled her eyes as she took her seat. She tried to look angry, but I spotted a smile on her face. The scene before me was one I could get used to. Us sitting, having dinner like a family, I could do this every day. She made me want this. I watched as she cut up pieces of the slice into a manageable bite-size for Shawn. She brushed the hair from his face before giving him his dinner. We talked about random things. The atmosphere was relaxed, just as it should be with us.
After dinner, Ginger cleaned up Shawn, who’d managed to get pizza sauce all over his face and clothes. I wasn’t sure how much food the boy actually consumed, but he was a funny sight smiling brightly, with pizza sauce turning his face red. He even had some in his hair. She carried him off to the bathroom, and I put away the leftovers then got the movie ready.
Forty-five minutes into the movie, Shawn fell asleep. He was laid out, spread eagle, on the rug surrounded by the CD cases he’d pulled down to play with. Apparently, my carefully organized music collection made for a better toy than the items his mother travelled with.
“I should take him home.”
“Aww, you’re gonna make me watch Gru and the minions alone? Not to mention I’m gonna have to spend hours of my life reorganizing my CD—”
“What? You told me it was okay when I tried to stop him.”
“I’m joking, Ginger. It really isn’t that big of a deal.”
I reached out, letting my finger trace the outline of her jaw. I wanted to kiss her, but stopped, recalling the look on her face at the house. She’d look nervous, or scared. I couldn’t tell which, but I knew neither was a good option. Then she’d flinched when I went to open her car door. That same nervous look was all over her face now. I dropped my hand.
She stood. “I really should go.”
“How long will I face this?” I stood as she had. “Because I’m more than prepared to knock that damn wall down brick by brick.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I want us, Ginger. I want us to work. I want more nights like this one, the three of us together.” I stepped closer to her.
She put her hands on my chest, pushing me back. Keeping me at a distance.
“Mal…”
“I know, you need time, and I can give you that, but what I can’t and won’t do is continue to be kept at a distance. I let you do that for two years. I respected that you needed time to heal and that you’d rather do it alone than let me help you, but now…” I wrapped my hands around her wrists. “You just have to give me, give us a chance. A real chance. That’s all I’m asking.”
She looked up at me but said nothing. Her eyes closed briefly, I saw the rise and fall of her chest as she took in a slow breath. She pulled her hands free of mine and stepped away.
“I should go.”
I swallowed my retort, even though everything in me wanted her to stay, to talk to me. I wouldn’t push the issue.
“I’ll carry him down for you.”
We didn’t speak in the elevator or on the short walk to Ginger’s car which, was parked in my second assigned space in the covered garage. She hit the unlock button on her key ring. The car beeped, and the tail lights flashed. I opened the backdoor and started to buckle Shawn into his car seat.
“Thanks again for inviting us over. I had a good time.”
I remained quiet while buckling Shawn in. When I finished, I closed the door then stared at Shawn’s sleeping form through the window. My gaze then went to Ginger’s reflection.
I turned to face her. “Yeah, me too.” I wanted to hold her, to say or do something that would let her know she had no reason to be afraid, but I remained clueless as to what. It was a mystery to be solved on another day. I opened her car door for her. “Drive safely.”
She walked toward me, but stopped just before getting in. Ginger laid her hand on my chest, but she wouldn’t look at me. She pulled her hand back then got into her little SUV.
“Goodnight, Mal.”
Chapter 6
Calida
Shawn woke a little when I unbuc
kled him from the seat, so instead of putting him in his own room, I carried him to mine. After changing into my PJs, I snuggled up with my baby. Gently, I moved his dark curls off his forehead and gave him a kiss. My sweet, innocent baby boy. I pulled the covers up around us and like most nights, fell into a troubled sleep.
I awoke to wet, sloppy kisses as Shawn tried to eat my nose. My breath caught in my throat when I opened my eyes to be met with his. That momentary fright got replaced with the familiar guilt. I pushed down my urge to roll away and forced a smile on my face as I greeted my son.
“Hey, baby boy.”
He gave me a bright, toothy grin. “Hey Ma-Ma.”
“Are you hungry? Is that why you are trying to eat my nose,” I asked, playfully scooping him up and planting kisses on his belly.
Shawn’s laughter filled the air. That sound instantly made me forget the uneasy feelings from moments ago. After getting him changed, I put him in his high chair then made him breakfast. We were just sitting down to eat when the intercom crackled to life, broadcasting the one voice I’d not expected to hear.
I furrowed my brows together as I got up from the table and walked over to the intercom.
“Dorian, what are you doing here?”
“Well, if you’d open this damn gate, you’d find out. Or are you expecting me to have a conversation through this thing?”
Sighing, I glanced back at Shawn who sat in his high chair, happily dropping more eggs onto the floor than he was putting into his mouth. I let out a groan as I seriously considered leaving her out there. However, I pressed the open button before heading toward the front door. At first, I was annoyed by Dorian’s unannounced arrival; not once had she been to my house. She didn’t even come by after I got out of the hospital, so coming today I worried something might have happened to Mom and Dad. She was locking the door on her blue Mercedes coupe when I stepped out onto the front porch.
“Mom and Dad okay?”
“Good morning to you as well, sister dear.”
I rolled my eyes and turned back into the house. With an answer like that, I knew they were fine. Even she wouldn’t be so callous as to downplay something like that. I headed back toward the kitchen, figuring she wouldn’t be far behind.