Liar King

Liar King Page 29

by Adam Elliott

  The older woman looked at him quizzically, her head tilting to one side, that little top hat straining against the pins that must have held it in place. “I’m not sure what you mean. There should be an entire wardrobe full of them. Isn’t there?” She paused for a moment, then added. “Medium shirts, 30’ waist, right? If they gave you the wrong…”

  She was still speaking, but the words were going in one ear and out the other. She didn’t just know his name; she knew his waistband size? Just where on earth was he.

  “Uh… okay, my mistake. Just give me a minute.” He interrupted before shutting the door in her face. Alex reached for the lock, only to remember there wasn’t one, then raced for the wardrobe once again.

  A cursory search of the clothes within proved that she was telling the truth. Everything inside was perfectly sized for him, from the shirts and pants to even the socks and underwear. Apart from the tailored suit he owned for special occasions, Alexander couldn’t recall the last time he owned clothing that fit anywhere near as well as every single piece they’d provided him.

  Too bad it was all ugly.

  Alexander wasn’t precisely a fashionista. He bought most of his clothing from discount racks or big box stores, but even still he did still have something that could be tenuously called a style. And these were not it. After a veritable rampage through the wardrobe, he’d managed to throw together precisely one respectable outfit, blue jeans, a black t-shirt and a brown leather jacket thrown over it to complete the look.

  A glance in the mirror told him he didn’t look half bad. The shirt complemented his short, dark hair while hugged him tight enough that it hinted at the swimmer physique he’d held since high school. The jacket helped to give him a slightly more rugged air than he was used to, which was nice. Even at twenty-two, people tended to describe him most often as ‘boyish,’ and he considered it a lucky night at the club if the bouncer merely checked his ID instead of scratching and poking at it under the assumption he must be some underage kid trying to sneak a few drinks.

  He traveled into the bathroom on a hunch that proved perhaps more worrisome than the wardrobe. As he’d feared, the medicine cabinet contained all his usual essentials in brand new, unopened packages. His brand of razor, his shaving cream. Even the weird toothpaste he’d used since childhood due to his hatred for all things minty. Someone had gone to the trouble of stocking all of his necessities.

  It was time to figure out why.

  “Oh! Alexander! You startled me!” The woman on the porch exclaimed with a laugh. “Did you find everything you were…” She trailed off again, a smile creeping unseen across her face as she followed his gaze.

  There hadn’t been much to see with the door opened little more than a crack for him to speak through, but with it thrown wide open to confront her, he was in turn faced with the reality of what lay behind the woman on the doorstep. A vast open space of the sort Alex had never, ever laid eyes on.

  Alexander had been born in the city, he’d grown up in the city, and he’d lived all of his adult life until this moment in the city. The closest he’d ever come to nature was the park that sat behind their first apartment when he’d been young, or maybe the rooftop garden on the projects when he’d been a teenager.

  This was incomparable. Grass and fields as far as the eye could see, with little thickets of trees and bushes here and there that appeared to grow progressively more wild the further they were away from the house. It must be acres of land, all barely touched by human hands. Alex had never seen anything like it, and he was damn sure he wasn’t in the city any longer.

  “Takes your breath away, doesn’t it?” She asked at last.

  “I…” Alex stammered, looking down at the shorter woman. “Where are we?”

  “Well that is going to be up to you to decide, isn’t it?”

  Alex felt sudden fear grip his heart. Was this heaven? Hell? Had he died, and this woman was some celestial bureaucrat here to help him nail down his idea of paradise or punishment? “What?”

  “Well, it belongs to you now. So you’re going to have to name it.” The woman chirped, oblivious to his sudden terror. “Your Uncle called it Birch Branch, but I don’t really think the name suits you.”

  “Uncle? What are you talking about?”

  Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion as she looked up at him. “I’m sorry, you seem confused. I’ll just start from the beginning.”

  “Please.”

  “My name is Marie Mayer. And please, no jokes, I’ve heard them all.”

  Alex stared at her blankly.

  “Because I’m the mayor?” Marie asked incredulously. “Your uncle had a much quicker wit; you know that?”

  “Still half asleep.” Alex stammered by way of apology.

  “Mhmm.” She replied skeptically. “As I said, I am the mayor of Blue Hills. Your uncle asked me to act as a welcoming party should you arrive, and help you with some of your logistics and the like until you’re well and truly settled.”

  “You keep saying ‘your uncle.’ I don’t have an uncle.”

  Another wave of confusion fluttered across the older woman’s face. “Are you sure? You are Alexander Adamson, are you not?”

  He opened his mouth to say no, but the use of his full name brought him up short. His mom was an only child; he knew that much. But just because he hadn’t met any siblings on his father’s side didn’t mean much. He’d never been very close with his father when he was young, and once dad ran out on them, well, it wasn’t like his mom had any reason to keep in touch with her brother-in-law if she had one.

  “Less sure than I was a minute ago,” Alex admitted with a frown. “But I’m not sure why any uncle I’ve never heard of would be so interested in me.”

  “You were his last living relative, as I understand it.”

  “You mean other than my dad right?” He asked.

  “Your uncle never spoke much of his brother,” Marie said cautiously, perhaps suspecting the fragility of the ground she tread upon. “But it was my understanding that his brother had passed away several years ago.”

  The notion hit Alexander like a body-blow. The last memory he had of his father was not a good one, a knock-down, drag out screaming match between his parents that had ended just short of physical violence. He’d watched from the top the banister as his father had grabbed his jacket and keys, then stalked out the door. Alex had seen neither hide nor hair of the man for two-thirds of his life, and he didn’t miss him. But to hear that for much of that he’d already been…

  “I’m sorry. I’m not the person you should have been hearing that from.”

  “Yeah, would have been nice if my ‘uncle’ could have come out to tell me himself,” Alex responded bitterly.

  “I… Alexander, you know that he…”

  Alex was surprised by how strong that second blow struck him. He didn’t consider himself a sentimental type, but to learn that he had someone in this world besides his mother and that he’d lost them without ever even the chance to know them? That was more than he’d expected.

  “This is my inheritance then?” He asked.

  “Quite right.” Marie nodded. “There are a number of his old books set out on the table when you get the chance. One of them should contain the deed for the property. Once you’ve settled on a name, you can bring it to the town clerk, and we’ll make it official. Get you a proper sign and everything.”

  “How did he-”

  “A question for a different time.” Marie interrupted softly. “You have a busy enough day without dwelling on ideas like that.” She reached out a slender hand, patting him on the shoulder. “For now, how about we get started.”

  “Yeah, I suppose we sho-” Alex started to say, before his thoughts caught up with him all at once. Wa
s he really about to just go along with all this, as if he hadn’t just woken up nude in a strange bed with no memory of how he got there? This was barely a step above waking up in an ice filled tub with a letter telling him to go to a hospital! “Okay, no. I need some answers first. Like how the hell did I get here.”

  Marie seemed perplexed. “The train.”

  “What do you mean, the train.”

  “I’m not sure what possible words I could use to describe a train better than the train.” She replied, not sure whether to laugh or be offended by his tone. “You came in on the midnight train and then came straight here. I’d just assumed you were tired.”

  This was ludicrous. Alex had never been on a train in his life. Even blackout drunk he was fairly certain he’d have remembered hitching a ride on a train. Heck, the only train station he knew back home was the subway! “And what happened to my clothes then? Or my stuff?”

  “I’m not sure,” Marie admitted. “Your uncle had employed a housekeeper, who has been keeping the place tidy since his passing. It is possible that she took it for a wash while you were sleeping?”

  “The housekeeper comes by before six in the morning?”

  “Hmm? Oh, no.” She shook her head; then a smile crept across her face. “Wait, did you sleep this whole time?”

  “What do you mean this whole time?”Alex asked.

  “Alexander… you got in on the midnight train yesterday.” Marie laughed. “You are just like your uncle, willing to sleep an entire day away given the chance.”

  Alex stared at her blankly. This was getting weirder by the second, but that was the least of his concerns. “Wait, so… what day is it?”

  “Sunday, the first.”

  “Oh, you have…” Alex swore under his breath, turning to march down the length of the porch as another wave of panic washed over him. “You mean it took me a day to get here, and then a day to sleep off whatever hangover I must have had?! Oh god, I am so fired.”

  “Fired?” Marie asked.

  “From my job!” He exclaimed. “When does the next train come through?”

  “Same time as every month. The twenty-eighth.” Marie replied, before adding. “But before you get carri-”

  “The twenty-eighth!” This was a nightmare. This was very clearly a nightmare. He woke up with no clothes in a strange place with a woman telling him his father was dead and he’d already missed a day of work.

  He slapped himself. Hard.

  “Alex!” Marie shouted.

  “Hmm. So that didn’t work.” He struck himself again, a full open handed cuff across his right cheek. He didn’t have much faith in it, but when the second slap failed Alex decided to try a pinch all the same.

  “Alex, stop.” She insisted. “You aren’t fired from anything.”

  “You don’t know my boss. He’d fire someone with ebola for missing a day of work!”

  “No. I mean you can’t be fired.” Marie said, studying his face. “Don’t you remember? You quit.”

  Chapter Two

  It wasn’t a dream, but it sure did feel like a waking nightmare.

  Alex hadn’t believed her at first, the whole thing sounded just too crazy to be real. Quit his job? He’d spent a year and a half as an unpaid intern in the hopes that maybe, just maybe they’d take him on in the cubicle farm. Was she insane? Was he?

  After a few minutes of discussion, he’d at least managed to rule out the former.

  Marie had plenty of documentation to back up her claims. Her cell phone had a number of time stamped calls from his phone, along with contemporaneous text messages with him that included, among other things, travel details. Using her cell to call his work had proven her truthful there as well. Alex hadn’t told them to shove it or anything, but he’d quit without proper notice. That bridge was burnt.

  Somehow, over the last two days, he’d quit his job, broken his lease and told a bunch of his friends that he was moving away. And yet somehow, he didn’t remember any of it.

  “I know it might be asking a lot, but is there any way you could drive me home?” Alex asked. He was sitting on the porch now, suddenly more weary than he’d ever felt. Being told that your whole life had just evaporated around you while you slept did that to a person.

  “I’m sorry Alex,” Marie replied, shaking her head. She held up a finger to silence him as he was about to protest. “It isn’t that I don’t want to, I simply can’t. For one, I don’t own a car. Blue Hills isn’t really automobile friendly.”

  “And for the other?”

  She winced. “The only road out of town had a mudslide early last year. We haven’t been able to scrounge up the money to have it removed.”

  Alex felt the last strand of hope tugged free of his body. “You’re telling me that the only way in or out of this town is a train that only comes by once a month.”

  “You could hike.” She admitted even as her face suggested how bad of an idea that would be.

  “How far?”

  “… a little over a hundred miles.”

  “Ughhh…..”

  “I know, I know.” She said, patting him gingerly on the knee as he slumped prone across the porch with an arm thrown across his face, nearly clipping his head against the door in the process. “Just think of it as a vacation!”

  “A vacation?” He scowled.

  “Why not?” She shot back, a bit of sassiness in her voice. “You’ve got your own cabin, and all of this land on it to explore, not to mention the rest of the valley. If you work hard, you can even build up a little nest egg to help you get back on your feet once you go home!”

  “Work hard?” Alex asked as he shifted the arm just enough to glare at her. “On vacation.”

  Marie smiled. “Well, this is a farm after all.”

  “Me? Farm?” Alex laughed. “Look, no offense, but I’m a paralegal. I dig through books for a living, not soil. I couldn’t even keep the houseplant in my first apartment alive, let alone try and get anything to grow.”

  “Just a suggestion. I’ve got plenty of others too.”

  “Besides, I’m here for twenty-eight days, not six months. Not exactly a lot of time to grow crops.”

  That seemed to confuse her. “Months?” She asked, before waving the thought away in favor of a different one. “There is plenty of time if you wanted to learn.” Marie turned away from him, digging into the satchel she had set down at the foot of the stairs when the two of them had sat down to hash things out. She rummaged around within it for a few moments. “I was going to give you these. Some potato seeds. They only take five days to grow. Plenty of time for a few crops.”

  Alex raised an eyebrow. “Okay, I’m not super familiar with farming, but I’m like… ninety percent sure that a potato takes longer than five days to grow.”

  “City boys.” Marie scoffed. “Always thinking that things take months if they don’t finish in an afternoon. Just take them!”

  Marie reminded him of his mom when she talked like that, sternly laying down the law. Except his mom would never be caught dead wearing spectacles and a silly little top hat. Still, just like his mom, there was little sense in arguing when she had her mind set on something. Better to just take the seeds.

  “Thank you.” She said sarcastically, before standing and brushing herself off. “Now come on, get up and, let me give you the tour of the place like your uncle wanted.”

  Holding his dead uncle’s last wish over his head to make him take a tour. Marie could be positively savage when she wanted to be. “Fine. Fine.” He grumbled.

  “Alright!” She replied in a tone far too chipper for his taste. “We’ll start close and move our way out as we go. Sound good?”

 
“Do I actually have a choice in this? Or is this sort of a rhetorical question?”

  Marie stopped for a moment, pondering. “Hmm. Probably the second one.”

  Alex rolled his eyes and grabbed the porch banister, using it to leverage himself upright. He’d barely taken a handful of steps to catch up to Marie before she was pointing to a large wooden box, perhaps six feet long, four feet wide and three feet tall. It was painted a dark brown, with a coarse rope handle protruding from the top of a hinged top.

  “Please tell me that isn’t the outhouse.”

  “What? No! Ugh.” Marie shuddered. “Your bathroom is inside, remember?”

  “Oh. Right.” Alex laughed.

  She rolled her eyes. “That is your shipping bin. I’ll come by every day on my morning walk. I’ll take anything you’ve put in the bin, and bring it back to the general store in town for sale.”

  “That seems convenient, though don’t come around on my account. Not likely to be shipping much, if anything.”

  Marie shrugged. “It is a habit I started with your uncle, too old to quit now.”

  “If I do ship things, how do I get paid? Do I go to the general store?” Alex asked. It felt bizarre to even say the words general store in a context that wasn’t from a video game or an old western film.

  “Ah, we’ll make a capitalist farmer out of you yet,” Marie replied, reaching back to pinch his cheek before he could stop her. “No, you don’t have to do anything. It’ll all be credited to your general account.”

  “My general account?”

  She nodded. “Blue Hills is a pretty tight knit community. Back in my grandfather’s time, we decided that it was silly to carry cash everywhere when everyone knows everyone. Instead we each just have a general account that I keep track of at my office. Every day I total up everyone’s purchases, update the accounts and update their account books on my morning walk.”

  “That seems…” Alex started a bit at a loss for words. It wasn’t that he didn’t have words of course, but that the ones he had were probably not ideal. Nuts, insane, crazy, stupid, he had plenty of choices, just none that weren’t insulting. “… dangerous.” He finished at last. Not perfect, but she didn’t look angry. “Don’t you worry about cheating, embezzling? Things like that?”

 

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