by Freya Barker
“Andrew!” Meredith admonishes him, but he seems unfazed.
“What? You know heavy subjects make me hungry.”
Rafe starts chuckling beside me, and pretty soon the whole table is laughing, as Kathleen gets up to grab the next bottle of wine.
Chapter Twenty
Rafe
“I rode a horse today!”
I have to hold the phone away from my ear at Spencer’s spirited volume. He’s loud enough Taz, who just comes walking into the living room, smiles at hearing his enthusiastic declaration.
“That’s great, Son.” I wave her over to come sit next to me on the couch, but she opts for one of the chairs. “Does the horse have a name?” I ask, a little distracted as I try to gauge Taz’s mood.
She seems a little distant today, but that may be the aftermath of an evening filled with good food, good company, and way too much alcohol. She’d stumbled upstairs right after our guests left and was passed out by the time I got there, after taking care of the dogs and locking down the house.
“Coco!” Spencer yells. “And Sofie’s horse is Moonbeam. Mine was brown, but hers was black with white spots on its back. Grandpa says we can go again tomorrow, but first we have to help feed the aminals.”
“Animals,” I correct him with a smile. It’s one of those words he’s always struggled with. Cinnamon is another he can’t seem to wrap his mouth around.
“That’s what I said—aminals—and Sofie made lots and lots of pictures to show you. Daddy? Did you know that fish eat worms? Grandpa stuck one on my hook and I catched a big one. I’ve gotta go find some more worms now.”
I hear the clatter of a phone being dropped on a hard surface, followed by running footsteps and finally the slam of a door. Clearly my son is done with the conversation but forgot to end the call.
I’m about to hang up when I hear a rustle and then Sofie’s soft voice.
“Daddy?”
“Hey, Pipsqueak.” I see Taz’s eyes warm at the use of my name for Sofie. “Sounds like you had fun today.”
“Yeah, but my horse’s name is Sunbeam, and Uncle Steve says he’s an Appaloosa.”
“Make sure you take a picture of him so I can see.”
“I already have. Daddy?”
“Yeah?”
“I miss you,” she says in a wobbly voice, and my heart is suddenly in my throat.
“I miss you too, baby, and I can’t wait to see you next week. In the meantime, I want you to have fun with your cousins. Are you getting along?”
“Yeah, they’re nice. I just don’t like sleeping in one bed with Spencer. He farts in his sleep.”
I bite down a chuckle. “I don’t think he does it on purpose.” Before she has a chance to lament her brother’s shortcomings, I redirect the conversation. “Only a few more nights and you’ll be back in your own bed.”
“Grandma says we’re leaving Monday morning.”
“You probably won’t get home until Tuesday, but we’ll be here waiting for you.”
When I end the call I notice Taz looking; a pensive expression on her face.
“She’s homesick,” she accurately concludes.
“Why are you sitting all the way over there?”
She seems to ignore my question, and instead pulls her feet up on the chair, wrapping her arms around her legs. “I’ve been thinking.”
That’s rarely a good thing, especially when her entire posture screams distance. “About what?”
“Well, in part about last night. What Kathleen said about us.” I’m trying to recall exactly what she said, but Taz already continues, “It made this whole thing sound so…I don’t know…illicit. Almost tawdry, like some damn soap opera.”
“This whole thing?” I can’t help focus on that rather dismissive term. “You mean our relationship?”
She has the grace to look a little guilty when she confirms with a soft, “Yes.”
I lean forward with my elbows on my knees. “Does this feel tawdry to you? What we have going on here? Does it feel cheap to you? Because it sure as fuck doesn’t feel cheap to me. Sure, from an outsider’s perspective it may appear illicit, but from right here…” I slap a hand on my chest, “…where it matters, all it feels is right.”
Taz blinks a few times at my words, contemplating them before she speaks.
“Then how come I woke up this morning with you sneaking out of the spare room to have a shower in the master bathroom down the hall, like you have every morning this past week?”
That observation takes the wind out of my sails. Actually, it’s the slightly rueful tone she uses that jars me. Of course she’s right, I’ve left her every morning, slipping out of her room to get ready for the day, but only so she could catch a few more winks. “I didn’t want to wake you.”
Her smile is a little sad. “I appreciate that, but it’s not my point. What I’m saying is that you’ve come to my bed every night, but haven’t once invited me into yours, which…” she holds up her hand to stop the protest forming on my lips, “…I get, I do, but at the same time it makes me feel like a guilty secret.”
I hear her loud and clear, and I’m kicking myself for not sharing my reasoning behind my trek into her bedroom every night. So much for insisting on clear communication, I’m failing miserably myself.
I’m across the room and in front of her chair in a flash, taking her hands and pulling her to her feet. “Put something on your feet, you’re coming with me.” I don’t let go of her hand when she stops; slipping her feet in the Crocs she keeps by the kitchen door.
“The dogs.”
“They can come with.”
The sun is already down when we cross the lawn to the clinic’s back entrance, the dogs dancing around our legs. I lead her through the dark hallway to my office and flick on the lights.
“Sit here.” I push her down in my desk chair and lean over her to boot up my laptop.
“Rafe, what are—”
“Just give me a second, Sweets.”
A few clicks and my amateur drawing fills the screen.
“What is that?” She leans closer, looking at the markings on the scanned sketch. “Is that the upstairs?”
“Yup.” I tap on the screen. “There’s the master suite.”
“I can see that, I see Spencer’s room, but what is this here, where Sofie’s room’s supposed to be.”
I lean down and kiss the patch of skin showing at the base of her neck. “I started working on an alternative layout for the upstairs about a month ago.” She swivels her head around, looking at me with surprise. “I knew what I wanted, Taz. I didn’t know how to make it feasible. This…” I point at my sketch, “…was the one thing I could plan for, the only part I felt I had any control over.” I sit down on the edge of the desk and slightly adjust her chair so she’s facing me. “I like this house. I like having the clinic right next door. I like that the kids get to grow up in a real family home. Your family home.” I pause for a second, making sure I get the words right. “But it’s also the house where I shared a life with Nicky, and I fully understand if that were a deal breaker. I thought about ways to make this your house. Our house, even.”
“Rafe…” Her warm hand comes to rest on my knee. “You don’t need to—”
“Oh, but I do,” I interrupt her, drawing her attention back to the screen. “Because I never want you to think you’re only a fill-in—someone’s guilty secret—and yet you’re already feeling it. I didn’t say anything because a lot depends on if Sofie would want to move into the master bedroom.” I point to the sketch, at the wall between Sofie’s and the spare bedroom. “If we take that wall down, we have space enough to make a new master suite, complete with our own bathroom.”
“But you’d lose your guest room.”
I turn and slide my hands along her face and into her hair. “We wouldn’t need one.”
Her hands grab on to my wrists when I drop my forehead to hers.
“It’s barely been a week,” she whispers.
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“Not planning on knocking down walls tomorrow, Taz, but it’s good to plan for when the time is right. And for the record…”
I drop my mouth to hers for a gentle kiss.
“…It’s been nine years.”
Taz
“Rafe…”
I barely get his name out before I’m pulled out of my chair and find my hips wedged between his knees. His mouth slams down on mine, his tongue spearing between my lips in a bruising kiss.
He reaches around and slaps the laptop shut before using that same hand to mold my breast, brushing my hard nipple. I moan down his throat in response, and suddenly all control is gone.
My shirt is gone, his is next, and I only have a second to thank the universe I’m wearing yoga pants. He one-handedly shoves them down, taking my panties with them, until they pool at my feet. Then he plants a foot between my legs, and with an arm banded tightly around my midriff pulls me straight out of my pants, and deposits me with my bare ass on his desk.
With a hand flat between my breasts he pushes me down to my back, his eyes that midnight blue as he scans down my body.
“Christ, my fucking wet dream spread out like a banquet.” His voice is gruff as his hand follows the path of his eyes, fingers trailing through the dark curls between my legs. “Wet.”
“Your proximity will do that,” I confess, biting my lip on a moan when he lightly brushes the pad of his thumb between my slick folds.
When his hands push my knees wide, I’m sharply aware of the bright light overhead and the hard surface underneath me. So different from the soft shadows of night and the silky feel of bedsheets, which were the scene for each time we’ve tentatively explored each other these past days.
This is different: raw, revealing, and deliciously decadent.
I feel liberated, unashamed, and almost greedy with need as I prop up on my elbows, pull my heels onto the edge of the desk and let my legs fall open in a blatant invitation.
Rafe’s eyes betray his barely contained hunger as he takes in my offer, nostrils flaring. His fingers dig into the soft skin on the inside of my thighs as he leans down using the tip of his nose to brush my curls.
“Fuck,” I hear him curse before he drops to his knees and buries his face between my legs.
The moment his tongue laps at me, I fall back to the table and reach down to twist my fingers in his hair. I hold his head while my hips grind against his mouth.
He’s voracious, using his teeth to nip at my tender flesh, sending shivers up my spine. I tilt my head back, eyes closed, as my skin feels like it’s on fire and the tension coils low between my legs.
The next moment his mouth is gone. I hear the sound of a zipper, the rustling of clothes and then the broad head of Rafe’s cock teasing at my opening.
“Look at me.” My eyes blink open to find him leaning over me, veins standing out on his forehead and his lips still slick. “Brace,” he whispers, before moving his hands behind my knees, pushing them wide, and filling me in one powerful stroke.
I reach up around his neck and pull his head down for a wet, openmouthed kiss as his hips find a rhythm.
“Hook your legs around me,” he mutters against my lips, “and hold on.”
The moment my legs are wrapped around his hips, he slips an arm under my ass and one behind my back. I barely have time to grab on to his neck as he lifts me up. In two steps he has my back braced to the wall, setting a furious pace as he drives inside me, grunting in my neck.
I’m not even aware of any sounds I make. I’m helpless as our bodies take over with wild abandon until I splinter apart, left breathless, boneless, and senseless.
“This is a first for me,” Rafe pants, his face in my hair.
I’m not sure whether he means the wall, the office, or the wild ride we just enjoyed, but I don’t really care.
I’ll take his first and tuck it away like the treasure it is.
Later, with his large body wrapped around me in bed; he rocks my world again.
“All those fantasies of you I’ve had over the years pale in comparison to the real thing,” he softly mumbles in my hair.
I turn in his arms until our fronts are plastered together and we’re nose to nose. “If I wasn’t still recovering from that inspired pounding I received, I’d be happy to share some of my fantasies.”
His lips pull into a wide, self-satisfied smile. “Inspired, huh?”
I roll my eyes at his smirk. “Of course that’s all you’d hear,” I mutter, mock-annoyed.
He tightens his arms around me. “I heard every word, but I’m trying not to focus on those fantasies of yours. I’m not twenty-five anymore, I may need a little more time to recuperate before I can even allow myself to wonder what exactly those fantasies might be.”
I smile with the knowledge I have the same impact on him as he has on me. “We’ll save them for another time.” I press my lips to his and he immediately takes over and deepens the kiss. “Rafe…” I mumble.
“I know, I know.” He pulls back, tucking one of my dreads behind my ear. “I want to take you on a date tomorrow.”
I smile and press my face against his hand. “I’m kind of a sure thing, you know. You don’t need to wine and dine me.”
“I’m not looking to get you in the sack, I’m looking to show you off.”
“Is that wise?” I can’t help myself; it’s a knee-jerk reaction. The prospect of setting tongues wagging all over Eminence, right before my parents and the kids come home, is not that appealing.
Rafe reads me well. “I thought we’d head to Winona, grab a bite there and maybe do the drive-in? Wouldn’t mind making out with you in the truck.”
“I haven’t been to a drive-in since I went to college.” I grin at him. “I’d love to.” I snuggle under his chin, drape my arm over his stomach, and hitch my leg up over his. “Show me off, huh?”
His hand lazily trails up and down my spine. “Be proud to,” he says, his voice gruff.
I tuck that away safely too, and press a sweet kiss to his chest.
“That earns you a bonus kiss.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Taz
“Jesus, you scared the crap out of me. What are you doing here?”
Rafe is off on a call and I’m in the middle of washing sheets when I walk out of the laundry room to find Kathleen standing in the kitchen.
I wince when I see the annoyed look on her face.
“When my best friend decides to ignore my calls after a night of massive revelations, I get worried maybe she’s taken off again for parts unknown.”
“I’m right here,” I softly point out, feeling a bit guilty I didn’t take the time to call her back. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you back, but yesterday was a busy day. Time kinda got away from me.”
“Hmm.” She pins me with a glare before finally looking around the kitchen. “Tell me you have coffee. We’re gonna need some.”
Fortified with two steaming mugs, we sit down at the kitchen table.
“So,” she starts, not wasting any time. “Anything you want to tell me?”
“Oh, Kathleen, it’s complicated.”
“Yeah, you mentioned that the other night, but I don’t get what that has to do with me.” She actually sounds hurt.
“I thought you’d be upset. Nicky was your friend too.”
“You’re not giving me much credit; I’ve always known how you felt about him, Taz. I know you. I discovered recently Nicky knew too, and more than that, she believed Rafe returned your feelings. I’ve spent most of the past ten years pissed at him more than anything.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s the reason Nicky was unhappy and you ran away to another continent.”
“First of all, you can’t blame that on him. He was doing the right thing by Nicky, or have you forgotten she was pregnant at the time? As for me leaving; what else would you’ve had me do? Stay here? Be miserably reminded every day of all the ways I’d been a disappointment to my fami
ly? No, thank you.”
“You were never a disappointment to me.” She grabs my hand over the table and gives it a squeeze. “Or to your sister, for that matter. She blamed herself all these years, you know? She carries responsibility in this whole fucked-up scenario as well. Why do you think she made me promise to get you back to Eminence by whatever means possible? She knew she was running out of time to set things straight.”
I take back my hand and silently process this information, blinking with the burn of tears as I wish my sister were here sitting at the kitchen table, having this heart-to-heart with me. “We’ve made such a mess,” I finally lament, shaking my head.
“No one is perfect, Taz,” she’s quick to respond. “Not you, not Rafe, and as some of us now know, neither was Nicky.”
When Kathleen gets up to leave twenty minutes later, my life is still a mess but my heart feels a lot lighter.
By the door she pulls me into a bone-crunching hug.
“No matter what happens, I will always—always—have your back. Always.”
“Where are we going?”
I turn my eyes on Rafe who just turned west instead of south to Winona.
“Mountain View,” he says shooting me a quick glance. “We’ve got some shopping to do.”
“You hate shopping.”
“Not this kind of shopping.” This time when he glances over he wears a grin.
“Which is?” I prompt him, still confused at this turn of events.
I was expecting a very early dinner at Flossie’s Apple Barrel—since for some reason Rafe hustled me out of the house at three—and whatever movies they were running at the drive-in this weekend. Heck, I even packed drinks and snacks in a cooler, and packed a blanket so we could watch from the back of his truck.
Apparently somewhere along the line shopping was added to the trip. Something he failed to tell me about.
“Bed shopping,” he announces.
“You know,” I start prickly, “it would help if you’d elaborate on what is going through your head, because as useful as it would be, I am not a mind reader.”