by Freya Barker
Sitting down by the fire, I toss another log on when I hear Sofie’s voice from behind me.
“Night, Taz.”
I twist my neck and see her head poking out of the tent. “Night, honey. Sleep sweet.”
Bullfrogs strike up a chorus by the water’s edge, blending with the buzz of the cicadas, and the soft hum of voices in the tent. It’s oddly peaceful and I breathe in deep, filling my lungs with fresh air and a whiff of woodsmoke. The perfect way to end an eventful day.
I’m well aware it could’ve ended much differently. Having Sofie open up to me earlier was an unexpected gift. If there was ever a time I could feel Nicky’s presence it was then, under the millions of stars dotting the night sky.
Staring into the flames, I’m lost in thought and don’t notice Rafe walking up until a warm hand slides under my dreads, giving my neck a squeeze.
“I’m grabbing another beer. Want some wine?”
“I’ll have a beer too.”
Rafe leans over me and I tilt my head back for the kiss I know is coming. It’s short but sweet and ends sooner than I’d like. It doesn’t take long before he’s back, pressing a bottle in my hands and taking the seat beside me, propping his feet up on the edge of the firepit.
“Thank you,” he mumbles, reaching over to take my hand in his.
“For what?”
“I heard you and Sofie talking. You managed to find the exact right things to say to her. I know it’s short-sighted to think there won’t be snags along the way, but she’s in a better place than I expected her to be.”
“Spencer was a bit of a surprise, wasn’t he?” I share with a grin. I’m sure the easy acceptance by the little boy went a long way to making his sister more receptive to the idea of her father and me together.
“Life should be pretty simple at five. Sleep, eat, play, and as long as the people you care about are happy, you are too.” There’s a wistful tone to his words.
“How old were you when you ended up in the foster system?”
“A toddler. I don’t really remember anything from before. Apparently my mother overdosed on heroin, and I was found wandering around the parking lot of a seedy motel in nothing more than a dirty diaper.”
I tighten my grip on his hand. “Did you ever try to find out more? Maybe find your father?”
“Nothing to discover. My mother is still listed as a Jane Doe: no papers, no name, and no record of my birth anywhere. I didn’t have a name.”
“Who gave you one?” I look at his profile, lit by the flames, showing the dark shadows and deep angles of his handsome features.
“I have no idea. I’m guessing someone with CPS where I ended up.”
I didn’t think there was more for me to discover about Rafe, and although he may not seem to know much about his own background, it goes a long way to explaining the choices he made.
“You’re amazing,” I echo his words to me from earlier today.
He turns to me, his clear blue eyes smiling. “You’re stealing my line.”
“Nah, it fits you better,” I tell him. “I was blessed with a family to grow up in—a place I belonged—and only now am I learning to appreciate that. But you…you didn’t have any of that. You had to claim yourself a place in this world—create a family to belong to—and you did that without any guidance. That’s amazing.”
Other than the tight grip of his hand on mine he has no response, but it’s enough to put a smile on my face as I stare into the dying fire.
I’m not sure how long we sit there, but eventually we get up, tidy up the campsite and toss sand on the fire. We crawl into the tent, only to find the kids huddled together in the center, leaving room on either side of them. The dogs go into their crate we set up at the foot end without coaxing and curl up together.
When I’ve settled into my sleeping bag next to Sofie, I turn on my side to find Rafe propped up on an elbow. His eyes drift over the sleeping forms of his children before they find mine.
“I’m blessed,” he whispers.
Rafe
“It’s cold!”
I glance over to where Spencer just joined Taz and Sofie in the water. The dogs are barking excitedly, neither getting more than their paws wet.
Both kids are wearing life vests, regardless of their complaints. They may be fine swimming in a pool, but the river, with its unpredictable currents, is another story.
We’re all sporting a tan after a week with near perfect weather. A week that’s gone by much too soon. I’m going to miss the easy routine we’ve fallen into. It didn’t take Taz long to coax the kids into the water, despite Sofie’s fears of creatures touching her under the surface. Every morning while I built a fire to make coffee and cook breakfast, the three of them would splash around in the river until it was time to eat.
We’d spend most mornings exploring the many trails, and on two occasions drove into Potosi to replenish our supplies. The afternoons we generally lazed around the campsite, and even with the leisurely pace of our days, we inevitably ended up in bed early.
The plan for today is to have a good breakfast, clean up, pack up, and head home. Sadly. Back to the daily grind. I’ve already decided that next year we’ll do two weeks.
“Five minutes, guys!”
“Okay!” Taz calls back.
I turn the bacon and flip the pancakes as Stitch trots up, drawn by the smell of food. “No bacon for you, bud. You’ve had your breakfast.” Not deterred, he flops down on his belly, his head resting on his front paws as he follows every move closely. Waiting for something to drop.
Sofie is the first out of the water, which is perfect, because there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to her about.
“Almost ready?” she asks, dropping her soaked life vest on the ground.
“Yes, hang that on the tree to dry, will you? And grab the orange juice from the cooler on your way back, please.”
Even though she grumbles under her breath, she does as I ask before sitting down at the picnic table. She’s had some moments this past week, but nothing more than an occasional sharp look or roll of the eyes when she caught Taz and I touching. We’ve been careful with public displays of affection, but I’ve held her hand on hikes, and occasionally kissed the top of her head, much like I do with the kids.
“I wanted to ask you something,” I start, my back to her as I pour more batter into the pan, trying to be as casual as I can. “How would you like having a bathroom of your own?” When I turn to look I see her eyes have gone big.
“Really? Like…how? Are we moving?”
“No. We’re not moving. We’re thinking of making some changes upstairs. Starting with you maybe moving into the master bedroom. We could look at painting it a different color; maybe get new curtains. And the best part is, it comes with the big bed.”
“Can I have sleepovers?” she asks immediately, and I bite off a grin.
“Sure, every now and then, but you’ll have to wait until the work is finished.”
“Are you going to sleep in my old room?”
I note she’s already calling it her ‘old’ room, which I guess means she’s on board with the plan. So far.
“Actually, that’s the next part. I want to turn your room and the spare bedroom into one bigger bedroom with a bathroom for Taz and me.”
She seems to ponder on that while I flip the last pancakes. “But what happens if you guys have a baby? Where is it gonna go?”
I almost drop the spatula from my hand. I hadn’t even considered that possibility.
“We’re having a baby?” Spencer asks, as he too drops his life vest in a puddle on the ground.
From the corner of my eye I see Taz—who was coming up right behind him—freezing on the spot. “There’s no baby,” I inform my son, and by default Taz, “but if you pick up that life vest and hang it to dry the way you know you’re supposed to, I’ll fill you in on what your sister and I were talking about.”
I note Taz keeps glancing at Sofie, as I catch
both her and Spencer up on the conversation. Of course my son loses interest the moment I set his breakfast in front of him, but I seem to have Taz’s attention.
“So what about the baby?” Sofie persists.
It would appear my girl has got her jaws in something and is shaking it like the little terrier she can be.
“Honey, there’s no baby,” Taz tries.
“But what if there is? Lisa Brinkman is in my class and her mom just had another baby.”
Great. Now she’s glommed on to the idea of a little brother or sister.
“Let’s stick with the four of us for now, okay?” I suggest, hoping that ends the topic, but my daughter clearly isn’t done yet.
“I’m just saying…”
“Enough, Sofie.”
It’s not until after we finish breakfast, clean up, and send the kids to pack the toys in their backpacks, that I get Taz alone for a minute.
“Do you get the sense her head has been busy this past week?”
She snorts as I take the folding chairs from her and fit them in the back of the truck. “So I gather. I’m not sure if that makes me happy or concerned.”
“How’s that?” I ask, taking the cooler she hands me.
“Well, I guess it’s good she’s thinking of us as a family, but she may be creating expectations we can’t live up to.”
That statement gives me pause. “You’re saying you don’t want children? More children,” I correct myself, jumping down from the truck bed.
“I didn’t say that. I mean, you have two beautiful kids, I assumed…”
I grab her lightly by the shoulders and lean down so I’m eye to eye. “Don’t assume. Just because I haven’t really had a chance to think about more children doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want them. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
She grabs on to my wrists with her hands and takes in a deep breath. “I might…some day.”
“Some day?” I tease, grinning at her responding eye roll.
“Yeah,” she taunts me right back. “If I find the right guy.”
She squeals when I bend down and put my shoulder in her stomach, lifting her off her feet. The dogs start jumping up and barking as I carry her toward the water.
“Rafe! Set me down!”
“What are you doing?” Sofie wants to know. Alerted by the dogs, she and her brother come crawling out of the tent when I march past.
“I think Taz needs another dip. The heat’s already gone to her head.”
The kids giggle and follow behind me while Taz continues to struggle against my hold.
“I just put on dry clothes, don’t you dare, Rafe Thomas!”
I stop right at the river’s edge.
“Give me a good reason not to toss you in, Natasha Boran.”
“All right, all right—I already have the right guy.”
I slowly let her slide down my front until her feet touch the ground, but I don’t let go of her. “And?”
Her indignant huff only makes me chuckle, and she finally gives in. “And I love you.”
“A good start, but not what I’m after.”
She bulges her eyes at me before darting a glance at the kids, who are following our interaction closely.
“And…the rest is up for discussion.”
I grin down at her before planting a quick hard kiss on her lips.
“Ewww,” comes from the peanut gallery.
Chapter Thirty
Taz
“Jesus. I need another drink.”
Kathleen wipes her eyes with her cocktail napkin.
“Do us another round, yeah,” Meredith instructs the waitress, who’s been keeping an eye on our table with no small amount of interest. I can’t blame her; three teary-eyed women sniffling in their drinks in the middle of a bar draw attention.
I just finished telling them about my talk with Sofie under the stars.
“I don’t want to get hammered,” I warn Meredith, who waves me off.
“Told you, Andrew is picking us up.”
“Yeah,” Kathleen pipes up. “Besides, last time we got sloshed together was about ten years ago; the night before you took off for Africa. Except then it was to drown your misery. Now we’re celebrating, so drink up.”
I remember that night. I’d been staying with Kathleen in an attempt to avoid everyone after Mom walked in on Rafe and me in the kitchen. I’d been so hurt—felt so betrayed—I was licking my wounds.
Tonight is much different. I know I’ll be going home to Rafe and that makes all the difference.
“Can I remind you, I spent a week with a very hot guy in a tent, separated by two kids?”
“Ahhh,” Meredith is the first to clue in. “Someone’s hoping for some nookie tonight.”
“Now I really need that drink. Where the hell is that waitress?” Kathleen grumbles, looking toward the bar. “I could do without you putting images of Rafe Thomas—naked—in my head, thank you very much.”
Meredith snickers and I join in.
“Just to say, there’s worse things to visualize than Rafe naked,” I point out.
“Agreed,” Meredith adds, her eyes sparkling with humor. “Shit, I wouldn’t say no to a picture, should you be willing to share some-a-that.”
Kathleen shoves her fingers in her ears. “La-la-la-la-la, I can’t hear you.”
I elbow her sharply. “Stop that. How long are you gonna keep him in the doghouse?”
“Until I know for sure he’s not gonna fuck up again.”
“He won’t,” I assure her. “And neither will I. I’m happy, Kathleen. Really happy. Can you be happy for me?”
“I am. I’m cautiously happy for you.”
“Whatever,” Meredith flaps her hand, “I still think your story is like a bittersweet fairy tale with a very happy ending. The only thing that would make it better is if you guys had a baby.”
When I don’t react, both girls turn their eyes on me.
“Christ, tell me you’re not preggers,” Kathleen says far too loud, as the waitress walks up with our drinks. “Did you have to press the grapes yourself?” she grumbles, as our wine glasses are set in front of us.
“Don’t mind her,” I tell the waitress, making a mental note to tip her generously later.
From the corner of my eye I see the very unwelcome figure of Sheila slink by, curiosity plain on her face as she peers over on her way to the ladies’ room. Fuck. With my luck she overheard our conversation, which would mean more food for the Eminence gossip mill to grind.
I turn back to the table. “For the record; no, I’m not pregnant.” Too bad the gossip queen is out of hearing, but I can at least set my friends straight. Kathleen dramatically pats her forehead with the napkin she still has in her hand. “For now,” I tease, chuckling as I see her eyes go big.
Still grinning, I tell them about Sofie’s reaction to the proposed renovations this morning, and the resulting exchanges.
“The kid makes a good point. You don’t want to spend money knocking down walls and reconfiguring your bedrooms now, only to have to do it again when you get pregnant. That would be stupid,” Meredith lays out.
“I know. That’s what Rafe’s doing tonight; tweaking the design he sketched.”
“That boy is not wasting any time,” Kathleen mutters, right before she takes a swig of her wine.
“The way I see it,” Meredith responds soberly, “too much has been wasted already.”
“Good point.”
The moment the words leave my mouth, Meredith pulls out her phone and taps the screen. “Andrew? Can you come get us?”
“Already?” Kathleen whines when she ends the call. “I’m just getting my buzz on.”
Meredith leans over and puts a hand on her arm. “You have another ten minutes before he gets here; make good use of it.” I’m smiling when she turns to me. “Our girl needs to get laid.”
Kathleen whimpers, “Jesus, have mercy,” and tosses back her drink.
“You’re early.”
Rafe sets me back after welcoming me with a long, deliciously wet kiss.
“Meredith insists I get laid.”
He chuckles, grabbing my hips to tug me closer. “Are you drunk?”
“I didn’t get a chance,” I pout, making him laugh harder. “I wanted to, especially after Sheila showed her face at the bar.”
Rafe’s expression immediately turns serious. “Did she give you any trouble?”
“No, not necessarily,” I admit, “but that doesn’t mean she won’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well,” I drawl, a little hesitant to broach that subject, “she may have overheard us talking.”
“About?”
“Just girl talk, you know? Meredith said something about a baby making our story even more of a fairy tale. Then Kathleen overreacted and asked if I was pregnant. Loudly.”
The arms around me tighten. “And?”
“And judging by the way Sheila eyed me, I’d guess she heard that.”
“You’re not, though.”
“No. I’m not.”
“So what’s the problem?”
I let out a deep sigh. “Mom and Dad are going to church in the morning. We’re supposed to have dinner over there tomorrow.”
Mom’s call this afternoon to invite us had been a surprise. A pleasant one. The conversation was a little stilted, but I figure it will take more time for us to find a new normal. Regardless, I’m happy for the conciliatory gesture. Except if Sheila’s gonna stir the pot again, which I have no doubt she will, it means more fireworks at dinner. I’m about done with all the upheaval.
“I see,” Rafe acknowledges. “I’ll take care of it. Now,” a lecherous grin spreads on his face, “I believe you mentioned something about getting laid?”
My body instantly responds, tingling in all the right places. I roll my hips against his, my belly brushing his already hard cock pushing against his fly.
“The kids?”
“Asleep about five minutes after I put them to bed.”
“Mmm…” I hum, smirking as I look up into his indigo eyes, dark with lust. “I think I’m gonna head upstairs, get ready for bed.”