Chapter Six
solipsistic (adj.) believing that oneself is all that exists
obdurate (adj.) unyielding to persuasion or moral influences
I sat in Maggie’s car on the driver’s side with the seat reclined nearly flush with the back seat. Tears burned down my cheeks in silence as I wondered why me. It all wasn’t fair. I’d wished I was a vampire if such things existed instead of a succubus. Based on folklore, they were just as deadly but possessed the power to not harm anyone if they chose. They most likely could have normal relationships. Sullenly I wondered why I was ever born. It totally sucked to be me.
If I had wanted to make a bigger scene, I would have marched back to Maggie and insisted she take me home. My best friend in the world had failed me again. She hadn’t come after me when she’d seen I was upset. I was really trying not to be mad at her for that. This was the second time she’d chosen a boy over our longtime friendship. But then neither Paul nor Luke had come either. I didn’t blame Luke because well in Mercy fashion I’d basically told him I wasn’t interested. Hadn’t that had been my plan all along? It just wasn’t in the way I’d meant to do it. Well, I hadn’t seen Paul and I couldn’t fault him either.
Thinking of Pau,l I realized just how understatedly quiet he’d been tonight. It almost seemed as though he was deep in thought maybe even a bit troubled. I would have to ask him later tonight when he called. I wasn’t being a good friend either.
There was a Star Trek movie marathon tonight that what seemed like a million years ago would have been the highlight of my evening with Paul there hogging the popcorn. It was doubtful we’d share snacks anytime soon.
A light tap jolted me, giving me a violent shake before I turned towards the driver’s side window. When I saw who it was I was, my hands held out the either side of my head in disgust. I was completely flabbergasted. I couldn’t believe his arrogance. I turned away hoping to ignore him enough so he’d just leave.
“Just give me five minutes,” came Flynn’s muffled voice through the closed window.
I ignored him. He’d caused me way too much trouble.
“Mercy, just crack the window so we can talk.”
I did and immediately said, “You are a solipsistic obdurate asshole.” Then I rolled the window back up to continue to ignore him.
“What the hell? You and these words,” he muttered loud enough they came clearly through the closed window. I felt completely satisfied that I’d confused the great and wonderful Flynn. Still, he didn’t leave though.
A loud thud resonated through the car before I realized his fist must have connected with the top of Maggie’s car. Temper temper, I thought. Before I could send a slew of expletives his way another figure loomed into the passenger side window I was facing. I only saw torso but based on the white graphic tee I recognized, I discerned Luke had come. Was he here for me or Flynn?
I heard a hushed conversation but couldn’t make out any words. A few moments later another thud rocked through the car before I heard the tap of feet storming away. As Luke’s figure remained in the window I had to assume he was able to get Flynn to leave. So maybe he was here for me after all.
He bent down, face grim. He pointed and I knew he wanted in. I turned and popped the locks without hesitation using the key pad on the driver’s side door then waited as the passenger side door opened and Luke folded himself in the car. Maggie had a small girly car the kind not made for tall sturdy boys like Luke. He adjusted the seat back as far as it could go before closing the door.
His hand came to my still damp face and wiped the tears that had left their mark from my face. “I’m sorry Flynn keeps bothering you. I’ll talk to him tonight,” he promised and I could see into his eyes he meant it.
“It’s not that, even though he’s a solipsistic obdurate jerk.” I mumbled before I could stop myself. Every time he was around I felt compelled to tell him my life’s story. I wanted to grab the words out of the air before they reached his ears but it was too late.
He stared into my eyes as if he could read my mind before he said, “It’s never as bad as it seems.”
I wondered how what seemed like wise words although I didn’t reason with them, could come from the mouth of a teenage boy. Paul had been there for me but his advice was one with the limits of teen years. I couldn’t help but wonder what’d happened in his life that made him grow up a bit more than the rest of us.
“I think in this case it is,” I said sadly.
He took my hand and I was reminded how touchy-feely he was. But in a weird way it didn’t creep me out like I thought it should.
“I like you. And it’s clear that kissing you is not an option,” he said wisely then paused. “I can wait until you’re ready if you give me a chance.”
So not only was he deep he was intuitive as well. His words hit my heart like a battering ram breaking the outer shell of protection that surrounded it.
I couldn’t speak because there were no words as least none that should be said. It would seem he was granting me the gift I’d coveted for two years. But Luke was a seriously hot senior with friends like lip-lochness Brent whose mouth was like a magnet to my dear friend Maggie. Furthermore his best friend Flynn was the future Pompous Prom King and a dismal excuse for the human male species whose sole goal in life was to break the heart of every girl in school. It would be in his nature to want much more than I could offer which was nothing but friendship. And the look in his eyes clearly conveyed that friendship wasn’t what he was looking for.
So I said nothing turning in my seat so my back was flush with it. I didn’t take my hand from his but rather stared out in the night. I so wanted this dream to be real. But somehow I knew I’d wake up in a few minutes. Luke turned his head to stare out into the night. He didn’t press me for an answer. Instead we sat in comfortable silence.
Chapter Seven
affinity (n.)a spontaneous feeling of closeness
The night had ended with Maggie rousing me with a rap on the window. Evidently I hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before. I did feel Luke’s hand leave mine before I turned to see him halfway out the car. Who was this guy? He couldn’t be real. He’d stayed with me . I wiped at my mouth to make sure I hadn’t drooled. Gratefully I hadn’t. I hadn’t the chance to say goodbye or even thank him before he melted into the pool of people still mingling about.
“So maybe I was right and Luke is a good guy,” Maggie crooned standing outside the car waiting for me to move to the passenger seat.
Sliding over unwilling to get out the car I said, “Yeah, he’s ok.”
“Ok, he was holding your hand while you slept and the way he was looking at you, well the look clearly said he was interested.”
I wanted to know exactly how he was looking at me but I couldn’t feed Maggie’s interest. Whatever was going on between Luke and I would have to end.
My feet landed on something other than the floor. I bend over to pull Luke’s letterman jacket up. I smiled. He wasn’t giving up and if I could be honest, I didn’t want him to. I told her, “He’s just a nice guy that all.”
“Nice, those weren’t the words you used for Flynn.”
My mood changed at the name. I couldn’t believe how much I disliked him. “He’s a royal pain.”
“Yeah, stick with Luke and don’t give Flynn a shot.”
“What do you mean? I have no affinity for Flynn and no intention of giving him anything.” I said. I didn’t know why everyone thought Flynn was in to me. Certainly his actions so out weighted his supposed interest.
“I’m just saying. Girls always fall for his charms no matter how many times he shows himself as a bad boy.”
Bad boy wasn’t the right word and in the last day or so I had come up with several choice words from my word of the day repertoire that more accurately portrayed him. Some of which I thought were quite clever and brought a smile to my face.
“What are you smiling about,” she said with a leer.
“N
othing,” I said leaving it alone.
Of course she took that opening to go into a barge of the latest between her and Brent. I wanted to gag the way she gushed over him. I didn’t know what they had in common but an uncanny taste for each other’s salvia and that was just gross thinking about it.
Surprising, it seemed as though they’d found time for conversation. She went on and on about his likes and how they were so like hers. I sat listening and thinking that some of those likes were very new. I’d known her likes all her life. The five minutes we’d spent on my problem seemed inconsequential to the near hour we spent on Brent between the car ride to my house and the time we spend in my living room over hot chocolate. But I wouldn’t blame her. I believe if she’d known just what a struggle it was for me to not be in a relationship due to my inhuman existence, she would be interested in the tidbits of my situation. I was the bad friend who couldn’t trust her with the truth. And I think soon I would tell her no matter what my mom said. I needed her.
Right after I waved goodbye to Maggie as she pulled out of the drive, my phone rang from the depths of my skinny jeans pocket. I shimmed it out to read Paul’s name on the display. With a relief I piled into the nearest sofa which was in the living room curling my legs underneath me as I answered. The yellow sofa so reminded me of him.
“Hello,” I said a bit breathily as sank into the cushions.
“Someone with you Merce?” Paul teased, making a joke at my breathing hard.
“Funny,” I said dryly. “No, Maggie just left.”
“If you’re tired I could call you tomorrow,” he said being considerate as always.
“No,” I said a little too eagerly. I was afraid I wouldn’t get to talk to him anytime soon.
“You sure,” he questioned.
“Yeah, I’m up,” I said with raised eyebrows. “How about you? You seem like you have something on your mind.”
He paused. “It’s nothing. Like you I guess, I’m a bit tired.”
“Then you should get some sleep, I don’t want to bother you with my problems.”
“I want to help,” he said. He sounded so sincere but I knew he may have to work the next day. I didn’t want to burden him.
“I’ll be fine. It’s really nothing I can’t handle.”
He paused again. “You don’t have to lie to me. We’re better than that.”
I gave a deep sigh. There was nothing I could say that would refute his statement. He spoke before I had a chance too.“So give me the whole story.”
“From what point?” I asked because so much had happened.
“From the beginning,” he said.
I took a deep breath. He was so good at listening to me. So I told him. I started where this mess began giving him all the details I would give a girlfriend except without the speculation and giggles. Paul wasn’t a girlfriend. He was however still one of my best friends and he was very methodical. He needed to hear the details in order to come to appropriate conclusion.
“So,” I breathed again.
“Stop that,” he said.
“Stop what?” I asked.
“Breathing like that. It’s distracting,” he said.
I closed my mouth not sure what to make of it. “Well,” I said as still he hadn’t given me his thoughts.
“I don’t know. My best guess is the Flynn may be into you.”
“I don’t’ think so, but it’s getting creepy.”
“On the other hand, Luke is his best friend and well he’s basically told you he is in to you. Flynn would know that I would think. So maybe Luke’s right and he just wants to apologize.”
“Now you’re not helping,” I said on another deep sigh. I had to applaud him. He’d given my problem more thought than Maggie.
“So why did you go to the car in the first place?” he asked.
I hadn’t told him I cried. I would keep that to myself. “I wasn’t going to sit in the grass by myself like a total dweeb. You and Maggie were otherwise occupied and I didn’t have a way to get home.”
“Merce, you could have hung out with us.” He meant him and Amber. As nice as he thought that was, I’d rather had sat in the car with Flynn than to be the third person in a couple.
“I wasn’t going to sit between the make out sessions. That is not only being a third wheel it’s also totally unfair.”
“Yeah, I know. But you can handle it. You’ve done a good job so far.”
“Not really. I can count the number of times in total not just people I’ve kissed on two fingers.”
“I don’t know how it was for you. But for me it was electric and nearly stopped my heart,” he said on a slight chuckle.
“Very funny. Just pour it on.” I laughed.
“At least I made you laugh,” he said soberly. “I know this totally sucks for you.”
He took the words out of my mouth. “Maybe you should talk to your mother,” he added.
“Yeah, like I’m going to say to her that I’m in desperate need to kiss someone.”
“Desperate?” he questioned.
Shoot, I said that word didn’t I? “I was exaggerating. But yeah, it stinks that my two best friends are in what appears to be in great relationships and I’m forced to go stag in fear I might kill someone.”
There was silence again and I thought maybe the phone signal dropped. “I’ll kiss you again,” he said softly. Then he added, “If you promise not to kill me,” sounding sarcastic but I felt his original soft spoken statement was so sincere. I struggled with how much I cared for him. He had Amber and I had the succubus demon.
“Thanks,” I said softly letting him know I’d really appreciated his friendship plus it was the only reply I could come up with.
We talked for a while longer before I began to yawn and Paul told me to get some sleep. I hung up with him replaying that line in my head until I fell asleep. I really believed he would kiss me again to ease my pain.
I had an affinity for Paul I didn’t think I could feel for someone else until Luke came along. I didn’t think however that anyone could replace Paul in my heart.
Chapter Eight
harrowing (adj.) greatly distressing, vexing
I woke late the next morning thankful that my mother wasn’t one to bother me in the mornings. I’d done the chores yesterday but she trusted me completely to take care of my responsibilities including my homework, therefore she did nag me much. So when I rose close to noon, I found the house empty. The rumble in my stomach urged me towards the kitchen. I complied unaware of the harrowing day to come.
Turning to the food network channel, I tried to get in the mood to make a late lunch for my mom and I. She wasn’t home now but I knew today was her day off. I was certain she be home soon. I thought I cook something to warm her palette for questions I wanted, no better yet I needed, answered. Paul had been right. She was the only one who could truly help me. I just needed to find a way to get my answers without raising her suspicion.
With the hum of the television flowing from the small family room off from the kitchen, I searched the refrigerator for ingredients I needed for what I had in mind. My mom, more succubus than human, wasn’t much of a cook. Her needs for food were out weighted by her needs for the tasteless human life force. I, on the other hand, was more human than demon, so my food needs were greater.
When I was younger I suffered through the meals my mother tried to cook. Wanting to help because she worked such odd hours to keep shelter over our head, I’d learned to cook own my own. I’d grown quite fond of cooking over the past couple of years. I wouldn’t consider myself a gourmet cook or even a chef but I think I was pretty good. Paul and Maggie found my cooking to be superb and on occasion I think they liked my cooking even over their own mothers. My affinity for cooking may seem weird. But when you can’t date, food seemed like a great substitute.
Nearly finished, my meal consisted of breaded chicken breast served over linguine in a lemon butter sauce and grilled asparagus on the side. Sounds fa
ncy but it is relativity easy. I had my chicken prepared with my pasta draining when a knock came at my door. The only chore I had left was to complete the sauce. I was a bit annoyed at the intrusion. Although Maggie hadn’t called I wouldn’t put it past her to show up at my door. I washed my hand as the doorbell sounded. The impatience of whoever was at the door only further proved to annoy me.
Drying my hands on my pink Juicy sweat velour pants, I headed to the door. When my mom bought me this set for my birthday, I’d smiled but silently loathed the outfit at first. Beside the god awful amount of money she’d spent on it, I wasn’t much of a pink person. That goes to show you what she knew about me. When I was little I’d loved pink, but I’d grown out of the bubble gum look long ago. But the soft feel of the material and total comfort I felt wearing them I’d come to covet them over most items in my closet. Therefore I wore them a lot around the house.
I opened the door to find Flynn on my door step. He pushed past me before I could slam the door in his face. I stood for a second shell shocked at his appearance. But then why should I? It seems he’d been semi stalking me since the party Friday at Jays.
He made his way uninvited into my living room and stood with a grin on his face while he looked me up and down. It was then I realized that in my comfort without fear of company, I was wearing a plain white tank top and no bra with my sweats. My body type would be considered bean pole by most if not for my chesty appearance. Normally I dressed to hide my amble chest so guys wouldn’t gawk or their eyes would remain on my face. Embarrassed but extremely pissed at the same time I folded my arms to cover my upper body.
“Please leave.” I said relatively calmly. “I’ve already had a harrowing day.”
He turned and sat in a chair against the short wall that separate the living room from the front entrance.
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