by K A Sands
I couldn’t take my eyes off my girlfriend. The muscle in my chest thumped harder as I eyed Taylor up and down. I was so seriously screwed over her, I barely knew what day of the week it was half the time. Watching both women fooling around and dancing with one another ignited excitement in me and I wished my buddy was here, he could’ve let go for a few hours. He would have enjoyed himself, put his troubles aside for a few hours. I’d no doubt him and Laura would have made firm friends. It was plain to see she had deep, dark secrets. It was in the way she held herself, the way she looked around as if unsure. The way she clung to Taylor. Not a bad way, just an awareness, like she couldn’t fully relax and was always looking over her shoulder. Laura and Lucca shared these things in common. While I knew what haunted Lucca, I had no idea what plagued Laura. Taylor talked of her sister often, surface stuff really, nothing that would tell me of her past, she assured me that both felt safe in Beaufort and that went a long way to helping me lighten up.
We spent the night talking and laughing, the girls sometimes dancing. It was the most natural thing in the world and I found myself hoping Laura liked me. She’d be an awesome friend to have. I’d reined in my wandering hands and overtly possessive behaviour, so I didn’t annoy Laura. I didn’t think it mattered. Laura was much like Taylor – if her sister was happy and safe, she didn’t seem to care all that much what she was getting up to. Not once did I want to hurry the night along, I was quite happy where I was, letting Taylor slip under my skin a little more and getting to know her sister.
So yeah, I thought I’d found my home. Right there in sleepy little Beaufort. Right there with Taylor. Life was just beginning.
Stumbling out the bar at around midnight, we carried on like teenagers high on life. It felt so fucking good even if I was disappointed Lucca had left. I offered to walk the ladies home and we skipped down the road like a scene from The Wizard of Oz; arms linked, jaunty steps. Laura was on one arm, Taylor on the other and I was King of the fucking world for a night.
This was what I wanted. The girlfriend, the best buddy and maybe, just maybe, the sister-like friend. I was done with fucking around, tonight compounding the fact. I leaned over and nuzzled into Taylor’s neck as she dragged us along the road. I was one happy motherfucker and wanted to shout it to the world.
My phone vibrated in my pocket as we stopped to cross the last road before reaching Laura’s place. Untangling the girls’ arms from me, I scooped out the nuisance phone sensing it was Lucca before I even answered. Who else would it be at this time of night? I figured he’d be asking if I was coming home so I could save him from Stella. He’d not asked where I’d been sleeping since we’d arrived in Beaufort, he knew the score; Taylor wasn’t a flavour of the month. He didn’t need to worry who’s bed I was lying in. I’d kept it in my pants since I’d first laid eyes on her again in that goddamned awful hotel suite that night. Those scenes sobered me up real quick.
Shaking my head clear, I swiped open the text icon and knew within a split second something wasn’t right.
Lucca: @ Docks
“Shit.” I shrugged out of Taylor’s hold.
“What’s wrong?”
Realising I’d somewhat scared her, I drew her in closer and showed her Lucca’s text message. She reached up, kissed my nose and whispered ‘go’ before pulling away.
Not hesitating, I hightailed it in the direction of the pier, sobering quickly. I ran back the way we’d walked and raced down the boardwalk, my heavy boots slipping on the frosted planks as I searched frantically for Lucca.
I only slowed when I saw my friend swaying at the end, a few feet away. I hurried to him as he plonked his arse down in front of our restaurant, a bottle of Jack Daniels tipped to his lips. He guzzled it down like his life depended on it. This was not my bro at all. He didn’t drink from a bottle, never mind Jack.
Cautiously scanning his body for any signs of injury, which was the norm after Stella went at him, I sighed in relief when none were evident. It was a sick feeling looking for signs of blood on your best friend, tonight I saw none thankfully. His feet grabbed my attention.
Mid-winter and he’s sitting outside with no shoes on?
I shifted nearer when he looked up, sensing me there. I gave him a tight-lipped look as I reached down to untie my boots, hauling them off. Crouching next to Lucca, unable to gauge his mood, I worked on getting his ice-cold feet into my warm boots. The desolate look plastered on his face was all too familiar, one that gutted me. Gravely taking him in, I saw it all. More than despair, more than hurt, more than tired.
Lucca was broken.
The bitch had finally done it.
Swiping the bottle from his hand, I threw it into the water behind us. All I could think to do was pull him into me, and hug the shit out of him. I held him the tightest I’d ever held anything in my life, hoping he could take some strength from me. He didn’t need any words. Not now, not here. He hesitated when I squeezed him closer, my heart breaking as he did.
There was no coming back from this moment, the final straw had finally broken.
Lucca lost his fight and clutched at me, his strong arms came around my waist and held on. His hands gripped at the back of my coat and he sobbed. The man I’d always looked up to and admired my whole life, cried. His desolation tearing me to shreds.
We hung on to one another a long while, the iciness numbing my fingers and the tips of my ears. I refused to let go. The pain I encountered seeing my man like this was unbearable and eventually I collapsed into him too. Lucca falling apart in my arms was agonising, I didn’t even know who was holding who up anymore. For the first time in my life, I let my own tears fall unbidden, right along with my brother’s.
Laura
I had the hangover from hell. Oh yeah, the devil was dancing in my head and his consorts were partying in my stomach. I was rougher than 40 grit sandpaper. Taylor’s twisting and turning through the night hadn’t stopped the room from constantly spinning either. I was cranky, had a mouth as dry as the desert, and I had to pee badly. Peeling Taylor’s sweaty hand from me, I climbed gingerly out of bed, swaying on the way to the bathroom. Jumping in a shower while I was there was the best idea. Twenty minutes later, feeling marginally better, I plodded down to the kitchen.
After a scalding, black coffee and some pain meds to keep the jackhammer at bay, I headed back to my bedroom to get Taylor up. If I wasn’t getting any more sleep, neither was she. Being kind, I took her a coffee. Pushing the door open I saw my intervention wasn’t required; she was sitting up with her back against the headboard, phone clasped to her ear. A sombre expression outlined her tired looking face, she barely registered my move to put her coffee on the bedside table. I made to leave the room, she held up her hand, silently asking me to wait. I shook my head and pointed to the door, not one for eavesdropping or being nosey. I wandered down to the lounge, she’d come find me when she was done.
Ten minutes later Taylor plopped her arse down next to me on the sofa and exhaled loudly. I swung my arm around her shoulder and pulled her into me, pressing my head against hers.
“Trouble in paradise?”
“Oh Lord, no. It’s not him, it’s Lucca. Ryder found him down at the docks drunk as a skunk.” She sighed.
I suspected she knew more than she was telling me, it was none of my business, I let it go. She was being loyal to Ryder, I respected that. Trust was difficult to come by these days, she didn’t need to be pressured into giving any information up about guys I didn’t know. I held my hand up in a ‘say no more’ kind of fashion and left it at that. I was sure Taylor appreciated the get out of jail card I’d thrown her.
After leaving her lounging on my more than comfortable couch, I took a stroll down to the docks for a breath of fresh air, trying to clear the funk going on in my head. Stopping at the café, I ordered take out cake and coffee not long after. My curiosity had me walking down to the end of the pier to have a gander at the old Lewis place, excited to see how Ryder and his friend were going
to refurbish. I was hoping for upmarket, from what Taylor had said in passing, it sounded like that was their plan. Beaufort was seriously stretched for decent places to have a relaxing evening out with decent food. To sit outside and enjoy the view of the water in the summer would be wonderful. To while away the hours with someone special would be terrific too. Taylor was great and all, but life was moving on - she was moving on. I had to do the same.
I sighed, no longer interested in the Lewis property, and turned my back on the dilapidated shop front, wondering how I’d become so whimsical with longing. Taylor’s newfound happiness was rubbing off on me.
* * *
Monday rolled around, and I’d done nothing all weekend except potter around the house and read a sappy book about a billionaire and a maid. The book was delightful, but I had to make a move, the house wasn’t going to finish itself whilst I dawdled over inconsequential things I had no time for. The sewing machine had lain dormant all weekend too, with nothing pressing. All my orders were finished, and my summer designs were still in the process of being patterned. The weekend reprieve had been welcome, chaos would ensue before long with a new line of dresses hitting in late May. For now, panels for the dining room were in order; a trip to the hardware store was on today’s list.
Climbing into my car - a late model, bright blue Scirocco - I headed off to the merchants on the other side of Beaufort. For a small village, the store was huge, stocking a surprising variety of items. I found I could get almost anything there. If Mike, the owner, didn’t have it, he always knew someone who would. List in hand, I grabbed a trolley, entered the store and set off in search of the items I’d pencilled down. I’d be back again next week for different objects, today was panelling.
Fifteen minutes I stood staring at bloody wood, trying to decide if I wanted the Wainscot or the tongue and groove. Fifteen minutes of time I’d never get back. A simple decision, difficult for me, apparently, liking the appeal of them both. I had to weigh up which would be easier to hang on the wall, fixings, colours...
I almost jumped out of my skin when someone tapped me on the shoulder from behind. Spinning around, I shrieked, ready to toss a tirade of curse words at the person who’d dared to touch me. I came face to face with a grinning Ryder, his hands up in the air.
“Woah...”
“Jesus...you scared the shit out of me!” I blew out, trying to slow my heart rate down with each breath.
“Sorry, sorry.” He tipped his head to the side. “Jumpy little thing today, huh?”
“Umm, no...just concentrating.” I hitched my thumb behind me to the racks of panels as casually as I could, playing it off.
“Ah.” He peered around me at the display. “You into DIY, Laura?”
The git was mocking me, I distinctly remembered waxing poetic about my house when we were out Friday night. I was the world’s worst DIYer, I hadn’t mentioned that.
“Somewhat.” I muttered.
“Well, don’t let me keep you from your wood.” He snickered - such a child. “Wanted to say hi and thanks for great company the other night.”
He winked at me - yes winked – waved, then disappeared around the next aisle.
I stood there stupidly for a moment, my eyes popping wide when Ryder strode back around, heading to where I was. He didn’t say a word when he grabbed me by the arm and half dragged me behind him, back down the aisle he just came from.
Stopping behind what I could only describe as a six-foot hunk of a man. I was aware I may have been catching flies and I hadn’t even seen the stranger’s face yet. I flushed profusely. From behind, the guy was hot. Well, his arse was, with the way those jeans of his were hugging and moulding to his body, I couldn’t help leering.
I forgot Ryder had a hold of my arm. Hell, I forgot he was even there until I heard him cough from beside me. I snapped my mouth shut hoping drool wasn’t hanging off my chin. The noise garnered the other man’s attention and he slowly swivelled around. Lucca, the best friend. I remembered them sitting together in the cafe, the guy with the chocolate brown eyes.
Now Ryder was something to gawk at, but compared to this guy staring down at me? Shit, I didn’t even know where to start. Just looking at him had me blushing for Christ’s sake. Ryder had a haughty grin plastered on his face and I wondered if he could tell his friend just ignited my favourite pink panties.
Woah...that’s new!
I wanted to throat punch Ryder, the smug bastard, then run away and fantasize about his friend. The one currently boring holes into me as we stood awkwardly in the hardware shop. Shit...Shit! Be cool Laura, be cool. I was so flustered I didn’t even think I could breathe properly.
Oh crap...was I breathing?
In, out, in, out.
That’s how we breathe, remember?
“Lucca, my man, this is Laura.” Ryder introduced.
I swung my head back, meeting lazy eyes, vaguely remembering my manners and pulled myself out of the silly stupor I was in.
Get a fucking grip woman!
I extended my hand, barely whispering ‘hi’ as I peered up into those brown eyes of his. He was eyeing me in a perplexed manner and yes, it was as I had feared. The man was sinfully hot, one hundred percent sexy as hell. He looked mildly embarrassed upon second glance, his ruddy cheeks caused my own to flame. Oh boy - a flash of lust hit me, from the top of my head right down to the tips of my toes.
We shook hands, a warm palm in mine, flighty sensations tingled up my fingers. I struggled to calm down, overwhelmed by his presence. Faking a smile, I tugged my hand sharply from his, hoping I didn’t come across as rude. A streak of hurt flickered across his face as he shoved his hands into his pockets, our eye contact never wavering. Shaking off whatever bothered him, Lucca gave the most magnificent smile anyone had ever bestowed on me. Relaxing, my fakery slid into something more natural. I liked Lucca already.
“Well, hi, Laura.”
His sensual, resonant voice reached inside and wrapped itself around the parts of me that were distant and closed off.
What the fuck was this man doing to me?
“I’m sorry I had to duck out the other night. I heard you guys had a ball?”
Regret leeched from his apology and I found myself wishing he’d been there. His voice had a timbre I could listen to for days, even if he was only reading the Financial Times.
“Perhaps next time?”
I extended the invitation in a questioning way, tilting my head at him, hoping he’d agree. Shit, this was progress for me.
“Of course.” He smiled again, perfect teeth dazzling me further. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
There was a naughty lilt to his words and for some stupid, crazy reason I found myself leaning in closer to him. “I’d like that.”
The husky tone to my voice was foreign and I inwardly died of shame at the brazen hussy I’d suddenly become. I was acting like a bitch in heat and all I could do was cringe and listen to Ryder snickering off to the side. This was not me. I was shy and reserved and didn’t find anyone attractive. Ever.
“Yeah, me too...”
Lucca’s eyes darted to Ryder. My silly crush ground to a halt as the atmosphere around us changed. I scanned between the two men, who seemed to be sharing some kind of stand-off. I shuffled on my feet, did I make a giant arse of myself?
Casting glance over Lucca again, he could be just what I needed though - a distraction, didn’t need to get complicated. I pondered the bright side; I was happy a man could still evoke some desire in me, that for once, thinking about sex didn’t double me over and make me want to heave. There was that and it was enough.
The stand-off was awkward so, time to go. The uncomfortable silence no longer pleasant, I wanted to get out of there before I made a bigger fool of myself.
“Anyway...I’ve got to get going. Panels, you know?”
With a nervous wave, I moved to walk away when I felt a tug on my wrist stopping me mid-flight. The only thing I saw when I looked down was the we
dding ring on one of the fingers wrapped around me. I viewed Ryder, then back down to the hand clutching me, the cursed yellow metal glinting. I narrowed my eyes at Lucca, feeling altogether angry. Angry at myself for having debauched thoughts over a married man. Angry at him for having made me feel those things. There would be no pursuing this man no matter how attractive I found him.
Lucca must have sensed my rapid change in mood, for he let go of my hand and looked at me nervously. “Will you be coming to the opening, Laura?” My name from his mouth cut deep, sounding so perfect.
I gawked at him, open mouthed and all. I couldn’t help searching out his hand again, more specifically that ‘no-go’ piece of metal that had trashed all my desires.
“I might be busy,” I said.
He blinked slowly, and I left, turned right around and didn’t look back. I was utterly confused at my disappointment, yet thinking it was most likely for the best. As I slipped from the aisle I heard a ‘shit’ from Lucca and a raucous laugh from Ryder. What the fuck? Bastards.
Abandoning the panels, I hightailed it out the store and headed toward the docks, to see if Jenny could sort me out with a big bowl of homemade salted caramel ice-cream. It may have been zero degrees outside, but I was a furnace on the inside. Only ice cream could help, I reasoned. That’s what a girl needed. I could sit and feast on sugar while I metaphorically hammered those nails in tighter. Get those walls back up. Married or not, I had the feeling Lucca would have no trouble scaling them and causing havoc once he did. Nope, wasn’t opening myself up to that hurt.
Jenny brought me the biggest bowl of sugary goodness she could, then sat across from me and started yammering on about Lord only knew what. I hardly listened, settled for making non-committal hums of approval or disagreement when they were called for. The early afternoon was mercifully quiet, and I was grateful for the distraction, keeping me out of my head while I tried to fight off brain freeze every few minutes.
Leaving the café late afternoon, with the air significantly cooler than it was earlier, I was thankful I still had my car. Driving home I started thinking about sinking into a lovely warm bath and doing nothing for the rest of the day. Lazy was becoming my life. Lounging around becoming the norm. Often, restless feelings unsettled me to the point where I wanted to lock myself inside my house and forget about anything outside my front door. The only constant intervention was Taylor. We might not see each other all the time, we certainly talked at least once a day, the need to hear her voice as frequently wouldn’t ever leave me. I was ashamed to admit I needed my sister like I needed air to breath. She was my safety, my sanity. She held my broken pieces together in her gentle hands.