Healing Hurts

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Healing Hurts Page 4

by Stella Moore


  “That’s good enough for me. Now, tell me about the sex. Was it amazing? Spectacular? Mind blowing?”

  Penny laughed and settled in for a long night of girl talk she hadn’t realized she’d needed.

  A few weeks and several incredible nights of spanking and earth-shattering orgasms later, Penny found herself at Eric’s apartment. She was pleasantly surprised, as it wasn’t the bachelor pad she’d been expecting. While it was full of dark, masculine colors, everything was high quality leathers and woods and above all, clean as a whistle. No wonder he looked so appalled by my bedroom, she thought with a giggle.

  “What’s so funny, little girl?” a low voice asked from behind her.

  Penny turned to face him, her eyes sparkling with laughter. “I was just thinking that no straight man keeps an apartment this clean. Do you secretly live with your mother?” she teased.

  Eric lunged for her and she shrieked with delight as his arms wrapped around her. “Wait, wait!” she yelled as he tucked her under his arm. “I have something for you.”

  Intrigued, Eric released her. Penny pulled one of the armless dining room chairs out from the table and gestured for him to sit down. Once he was seated, she took a deep breath and started to lower herself over his lap.

  “Stop.” The sharp command took her by surprise and she straightened up again. Eric took her hands and looked up at her, studying her intently. “You don’t have to push your limits for me. I’m happy with the way we’ve been doing things.”

  Penny shook her head. “I want to do this. Not for you, well not just for you. I don’t want to be afraid of things anymore. And this? I want to do this,” she repeated.

  “Okay,” Eric agreed. “On two conditions. One, you use your safewords. Under no circumstances are you to avoid using them. We are taking this slow tonight.”

  Penny nodded, relieved that he understood and was being so considerate of her issues. “What else?”

  “Sometime tonight we have a talk about why this scares you. I’ve been trying not to push you, but if we don’t talk these things through, we’ll never be able to put them behind us. Deal?”

  Penny only nodded again, the effort to hold back the tears restricting her ability to speak.

  “Over you go then, young lady.” The kind, concerned boyfriend was gone, replaced by a man who would not be argued with. Penny quickly lowered herself over his knees, thrilled by the intimacy the position provided. God I’ve missed this. Eric rubbed her bottom through her long skirt. She wiggled a little when she felt his erection poking into her side. It was thrilling to know she had that effect on a man with little or no effort on her part.

  Eric’s hand left her bottom and connected again seconds later, with a deliciously stinging smack. Penny sighed and allowed herself to relax over his knees. Again, his hand connected with her backside, bringing the same sting to the opposite cheek. He repeated the pattern for a long while before stopping.

  “Ready for more?” he asked, and she knew he didn’t just mean the spanking itself. He was checking on her, making sure she was good with everything.

  “Yes, sir,” she replied submissively.

  “Good. I think it’s time for this skirt to come up, then.”

  Penny grinned as she felt the air hit her backside.

  “Tsk, tsk, tsk. What do we have here, young lady? Going out in public with no underwear? I’m afraid you’ll have to be punished for that.” The lecture was delivered while Eric rubbed and squeezed her naked ass, and his growing erection made it clear he had no issue with her apparent lack of modesty.

  “I’m sorry, sir. I forgot.”

  “Lying as well? We may have to get the belt out later for that, little girl.” Her pussy clenched at the mention of her favorite implement. “In the meantime…” Smack! His hand cracked down against her bare flesh, sending twin jolts of pain and pleasure directly to her core. Penny moaned as he repeated the action on the opposite side. Getting down to business, Eric’s hand drummed out a rhythm on her ass that had her moaning and writhing over his lap.

  “If you don’t settle down little girl, I’m going to have to pin you down.”

  Penny froze. “Yellow!” she called out, pushing herself up off his lap. Relief flooded her when she was able to rise with no problems, followed quickly by shame when she saw the concern on Eric’s face.

  “Sorry,” she mumbled, looking down at the floor.

  Eric stood and wrapped his arms around her. “You have nothing to be sorry for, baby. I’m proud of you for trusting me and for using your safeword.” He pulled away and tilted her chin up so that she was forced to look him in the eye. “But I think it’s time for that talk, don’t you?”

  Chapter 7

  Eric led her to his comfortable leather couch and sat down facing her. “I don’t expect you to tell me everything. But I do feel that there is a lot we need to talk about. Starting with what just happened.”

  Penny sighed and pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them for comfort. She decided to just start at the beginning. “I met Franklin right out of college, at a club. I knew what I wanted even in high school and I’d never been shy about asking for it, so I talked Elisa into going to a club with me. I watched him scene with another girl, and I was fascinated by him. He was so powerful and dominant. He just commanded attention when he spoke. I’d managed to convince my college boyfriend to spank me when I was being rude or mean, or when I blew off my studies, but as much as we loved each other, he just wasn’t wired that way. Franklin was as polar opposite of him as two men could be. I think I fell for him that night in the club.”

  Penny took a deep breath before pushing on. “Anyway, he noticed me. I flirted and tried to convince him to scene with me, but he told me that someone as special as me should be wooed in private.” She gave Eric a wry smile. “He actually talked like that. Wooed.” She shook her head at the memory.

  “That was the start of things for us. He introduced me to so many new things. He’s the reason I discovered my affection for leather. Less than a month after that night, we moved in together. Everyone said I was rushing it and I needed to be careful, but what did they know? I was in love.”

  Eric wondered if she realized she’d started crying, but kept the observation to himself.

  “For the first few months, everything was amazing. It was like a fairytale. Then, he started being mean. Little comments about my weight, my photography. We had our first big fight the first night he wouldn’t let me go out with Elisa for our monthly girls’ night. That was also the first night I got a real punishment from him. He pinned me over his lap and spanked me with this heavy wooden paddle he had. I screamed for him to stop, I even used my safewords, but he ignored me. He said that I was being punished and he would decide when I’d had enough, not me. I had bruises for two weeks after that. And I never asked to go out with Elisa again.”

  Eric pushed up from the couch, pacing the room in an effort to burn off the rage he felt towards a man he’d never even met. Wary of the emotions coming off of him like waves, Penny fell silent.

  It was several minutes before Eric had a tight rein on those emotions and he turned back to Penny, who was watching him with a fear he’d never wanted to see in her eyes. He sighed and mentally kicked himself. She didn’t need his rage, however justified. The proud, brave, scared woman in front of him right now needed comfort and understanding.

  “C’mere,” he said softly, returning to the couch and pulling her close. “I’m so sorry, Penny. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. You know that’s not what real discipline is like, right? You know your consent can be taken away just as easily as it’s given? I promise that if you trust me with that, you will always have the option of walking away from a punishment.”

  “I know. And I want to, but I’m just not there yet. Is that still okay?”

  “Of course it is, baby. This is all at your pace.”

  They sat in silence for a few more minutes before Penny spoke again. “Yo
u know, you never did spank me for lying to you earlier,” she said, looking up at him with a mischievous grin.

  Eric returned the grin. They were good, for now. The rest of it could wait for another day.

  “That’s right, little girl. I want you laying on the bed, naked when I come in. You have,” he glanced at his watch, “two minutes. Go.”

  Penny raced to the bedroom, giddy with relief. She’d bared her soul to Eric and he still wanted her around. He wasn’t treating her any differently. He didn’t think she was weak or stupid. She pulled off her top and skirt, tossing them on the floor beside the bed. She considered picking them up, then decided she’d rather see his reaction to the mess. Giggling, she removed her bra and stretched out on the bed, clutching a pillow. Despite the serious nature of the conversation they’d just finished, her arousal had returned with a vengeance when he’d ordered her to the bedroom.

  “Well, I’m glad to see you can follow orders, little girl. Now we just need to have that discussion about telling little fibs to get out of trouble.” Penny leveraged herself up onto one elbow when she heard him looking through a dresser drawer. Her eyes went wide and heat swept over her entire body when he pulled out a small leather paddle.

  Eric grinned at her reaction. Obviously, she liked the idea of the paddle.

  “Lie down,” he ordered, schooling his face into stern lines. He sat on the bed next to her, one arm wrapped around her middle as he tapped the paddle against her bare backside.

  He admonished her, saying, “This is what happens to little girls who lie,” before slapping the leather against her exposed skin. He watched in delight a bright pink bloom on her pale skin. He repeated the action, taking note of her little gasps of pleasure.

  Again and again, he brought the paddle down on her defenseless backside. He picked up the pace, putting a bit more force behind each swat. When it seemed like the pain was getting to be more than she liked, he stopped and began massaging her thoroughly spanked cheeks.

  “Good girl,” he murmured when she opened her legs in invitation. He dipped his hand between her thighs, grinning when he found her soaking wet. He slid a finger into her, groaning when she clamped down around him. He stroked until he felt her tense under him and then stopped. “Not yet, little girl. Turn over.” He punctuated the order with a sharp slap to her bottom.

  Penny hurried to obey, feeling as tight as a wire about to snap. As soon as she was laying on her back, Eric began a trail of kisses down her neck, over the swell of each breast—ignoring her aching nipples like a well-practiced sadist—and down her tummy until he reached the soft nest of brown curls between her thighs.

  Penny arched her back and cried out as he pressed a kiss to her curls. Then his tongue dipped between her folds and her entire world became focused on the pleasure between her thighs. After torturing her for a while, he moved to her clit and pressed his tongue to the sensitive spot. She screamed, her orgasm shattering her self-control, and fisted her hands in his hair as he feasted. Just as she was coming down, he pressed against her clit again, swirling his tongue in circles, sending her careening off the edge of reason for a second time.

  She whimpered slightly when she felt him move off her, cracking an eyelid to watch him strip and roll a condom over his rather impressive length. She shifted slightly and spread her legs wider, inviting him in. “You okay?” he asked, kneeling between her thighs.

  “I’m perfect,” she assured him with a sleepy smile. Seemingly satisfied with that answer, he lowered himself to her, sliding into her wet heat. She gasped at the feeling of fullness, her overly sensitive nerves tingling as he pushed into her. Buried deep inside her, he tenderly kissed her lips, the sweet gesture bringing tears to her eyes. Slowly, he pulled out and slid back in. He pulled away enough to look into her eyes, and though he’d never said the words, she saw the depths of his love in his gaze. Their eyes stayed locked in each other as he moved within her, and he closed them only when he emptied himself into her. He rolled to the side, pulling her close so that her head rested on his chest.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked, gently stroking her hair.

  “Thoroughly and delightfully used,” she responded, snuggling closer.

  Eric smiled and pressed a kiss to her hair. “I’m glad to hear it. How about emotionally?” he pressed quietly.

  Penny tilted her face up so that he could see the truth. “I feel great. I’m glad we talked. It means a lot to me that you’re not treating me differently after finding out how stupid I was.”

  Eric gripped her chin with his fingers. “Penelope Rose Frost. You were nothing of the sort. And just know that if we go down that road, comments like that will get your backside paddled in a way I promise you won’t like. Understood?”

  Penny nodded, trying to ignore the way her body reacted when he talked about disciplining her. She was beginning to think it was only a matter of time

  Chapter 8

  The next day, Penny managed to wrangle an appointment with Dr. French. As she sat across from the woman who’d become her greatest confidant, she thought about how far she’d come in the few years she’d been a patient.

  “So how are things going with Eric?” Dr. French asked, crossing her legs in a proper way Penny admired and secretly envied. She may have her own style, but she wasn’t as poised and elegant as her therapist.

  “Excellent. I, um, told him about Franklin. About why I had a thing about going over his lap for a spanking.”

  “Had? Past tense?” the doctor asked.

  Penny blushed slightly. Even after all this time, talking about something so intimate was difficult for her. “I asked him to try it last night. It was great, until he threatened to pin me down for wiggling too much.”

  “That must have been hard for you.” Sympathy shone in Dr. French’s eyes.

  “It was, but I used my pause word and he immediately let me up. It was a relief to know I had that power, that he wasn’t stripping me of my choice to consent. After, we talked about it, I gave him kind of the nutshell version of what happened with me and Franklin.”

  “And how did he react to your story?”

  Penny let out a short laugh. “Oh God, he was pissed. But not at me, I don’t think. He looked like he wanted to pummel someone.”

  “Well, that’s to be understood. Men, especially dominant, alpha type males, have an instinctive urge to protect the people they care about. Knowing that someone hurt you and he couldn’t stop it, that helplessness probably upset him on a very deep level.”

  “He said I wasn’t stupid,” Penny offered, looking down at her skirt.

  “Why would he say otherwise?”

  Penny shrugged. “Sometimes when I think about that time, about how I let him make me feel, the things I let him do to me, I feel stupid. I get so mad at myself, and it’s like I can’t even believe that was me that all those things happened to.”

  “You’re a different person now. But you weren’t stupid then. Would you tell a woman whose husband punched her in the face that she was stupid?”

  Penny looked up, surprised by the heat she heard behind the doctor’s words. “Well of course not.”

  “Exactly. Give yourself the same grace and love you would any other abused woman.”

  Fall made way for winter, and winter ushered in bright lights and cheerful music and Penny’s favorite pastime: shopping. Penny and Eric had been steadily and exclusively seeing each other for over three months and they were gearing up to spend the holidays with their respective families. Christmas Eve at his parents’ with his family, then Christmas dinner at her grandparents’ house. It was the middle of December and they’d both given themselves the day off to Christmas shop.

  “You don’t think your sister would appreciate that huge Santa sculpture?” Penny laughed, remembering the hideous figurine they’d left behind them at the last store.

  “She would pretend to love it. Heather doesn’t have a mean bone in her body. She would act like it’s the best present she’d
ever seen and next year I’d end up with something even worse under the tree. She’s patient, and sneaky.” Eric grinned when talking about his sister, the love he had for her written all over his face. For a moment, Penny wondered if she and his sister would get along if they got married. Married? Slow down, girl, she chided herself silently. A movement to her right caught her eye and she turned, finding herself face to face with the man who’d haunted her nightmares.

  “Franklin,” she breathed, tightening her grip on Eric’s hand.

  “Hello, Penelope. How have you been?” The question was polite enough, but his eyes were cold and hard, just as they’d been whenever she’d displeased him. Suddenly, she was back in the apartment she’d shared with him, trembling and afraid, waiting for him to punish her.

  Eric felt Penny squeeze his hand and turned to see a man about his height glaring at her. He’d heard him ask how she was, but he was confused by the meanness in his eyes. Then it clicked. He squeezed her hand in return, silently lending his support.

  “Hey baby. Who’s this?” he asked unnecessarily. He didn’t want the asshole to know that he even knew he existed.

  Penny seemed to snap out of a trance. “Oh. Eric, this is Franklin. Franklin, this is Eric. My boyfriend,” she added, tilting her chin defiantly.

  Franklin sent Eric a look that managed to be a mix of derision and pity before focusing his attention once more on Penny. “You always did try to make me jealous. Hanging on other men, flirting with them under my nose.”

  Penny could feel the heat rising in her cheeks. “I never did any such thing. And I don’t really give a rat’s ass if you’re jealous now. Because you’re nothing to me anymore.”

  Rage flashed in Franklin’s eyes, causing Penny to take a step back. He opened his mouth to speak, but Eric cut him off.

  “Take the hint, asshole. You’re not welcome in our life. If I ever see you around my woman again, I’ll see that she files a restraining order against your ass.”

 

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