Inspiration
Page 12
“Yes, my response would be very different.” She looked up at him, a generous smile dimpling her cheeks. “If you are renewing your offer, then I would tell you yes.”
“Not from gratitude for the service to your sister, pray assure me of that.”
“What if it were? Would it not be natural?” She lifted an eyebrow, eyes twinkling. Was she teasing?
“Natural, yes, but insufficient. I could not have you attached to me because of mere gratitude alone. At one time it would have been enough. But truly, I want more.”
“What do you want, Mr. Darcy?”
“I want your heart, your soul, connected to mine. Intertwined, a part of one another for every day forward. It is a very great deal to ask, I know, and I am loath to say it aloud for fear it is too much.” How had those words, almost too intimate to speak, been wrenched from his lips?
“It is a great deal. But it is not too much.” She walked on. “I have come to understand you are hardly who I thought you were. Quite the opposite in fact—I am ashamed to have been so mistaken in my own pride. I have never met another to whom I feel so utterly connected, so utterly at home with, whom I long to be with again and again.”
“And you will not regret quitting Hertfordshire and all you know here?”
“To pollute the shades of Pemberley?”
He stopped and stared at her. “Heavens above, pray tell me that my aunt did not say such a thing to you.”
“I will not lie to you.” She pressed her lips as though determined to keep a secret.
“I am mortified beyond what I can express.” He dragged his hand down his face. She was not the only one with embarrassing relatives.
His muse kicked him. How long had she been working to get him to see just that?
Miss Elizabeth offered a tiny lift of her shoulders, matched by a tilt of her head. How gracious she was not to rail at the incivility of Aunt Catherine.
“In an odd way, I have her to thank for this moment. She came to me in London to report the conversation she had with you. It taught me to hope as I had scarcely ever allowed myself to hope before. I knew enough of your disposition to be certain that, had you been absolutely, irrevocably decided against me, you would have acknowledged it to Lady Catherine, frankly and openly.”
Elizabeth laughed and shielded the side of her face nearest him with her hand. “Yes, you know enough of my frankness to believe me capable of that. After abusing you so abominably to your face, I could have no scruple in abusing you to all your relations.”
“What did you say of me that I did not deserve? My behavior to you at the time had merited the severest reproof. It was unpardonable. I cannot think of it without abhorrence. Your reproof, so well applied, I shall never forget: ‘had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner.’ Those were your words. You know not, you can scarcely conceive, how they have tortured me. You thought me devoid of every proper feeling. The turn of your countenance I shall never forget as you said that I could not have addressed you in any possible way that would induce you to accept me.” Now was probably not the time to tell her he had since captured it in his sketchbook and might just paint it.
“Oh! do not repeat what I then said. These recollections will not do at all. I assure you that I have long been most heartily ashamed of it.” She ducked her head demurely.
“Did my letter soon make you think better of me? Did you, on reading it, give any credit to its contents?”
She lifted her head, nodding. “Indeed, I did. I have read it so many times, and with each reading all my former prejudices were removed.”
“I hope you have destroyed the letter. There was one part especially, the opening of it, which I should dread your having the power of reading again. I can remember some expressions which might justly make you hate me.”
“The letter shall certainly be burnt if you believe it essential to the preservation of my regard.” She offered him a sidelong glance, dimples evident. “But you must learn some of my philosophy. Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.”
“But with me, it is not so. Painful recollections will intrude which cannot, which ought not, to be repelled. I have been a selfish being all my life in practice, though not in principle. As a child I was taught what was right, but I was not taught to correct my temper. I was given good principles but was left to follow them in pride and conceit—allowed, encouraged, almost taught to be selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world. Such a man I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth!”
Those words brought a blush and a glimmer to her eyes. Better still, now he could utter those sentiments freely, as often as he liked.
“What do I not owe you! By you, I was properly humbled. My object since then has been to show you by every civility in my power. I hoped to obtain your forgiveness, to lessen your ill opinion, by letting you see that your reproofs had been attended to. And that my wishes had never changed.”
Her brow creased just a bit. “But some opinions have changed. I must ask whether you were surprised to learn of Jane and Mr. Bingley?”
“Not at all. When I went away to London, I felt that it would soon happen.”
“That is to say, you had given your permission? I guessed as much.” And everything in her countenance said she approved.
“Before my going to London, I made a confession to him. I told him that I believed myself mistaken in supposing that your sister was indifferent to him, and as I could easily perceive that his attachment to her was unabated, I felt no doubt of their happiness together. He was angry, just a bit, as he is not one prone to such emotions. But his anger, I am persuaded, lasted no longer than he remained in any doubt of your sister's sentiments. He has heartily forgiven me now.”
“I can see how forgiveness would be in his nature.”
“And what of yours? Honestly, can you tell me you have forgiven me?” Was he tempting his fate by asking?
“Totally and completely. I dearly hope you feel the same towards me.”
They stopped and stood toe to toe. What words could possibly express what swelled his heart? He took her shoulders in his hands and leaned down.
Their lips met, and his tension melted away, threatening to reduce him to his knees there in the middle of the road.
“Can you detect any sign of resentment in me?” he whispered near her ear.
“Indeed not. Only what you once promised me: your ardent affection.”
“Ever and always.”
Epilogue
Happy for all her maternal feelings was the day on which Mrs. Bennet got rid of her two most deserving daughters, and Darcy’s muse finally rested in the satisfaction of his being united with the one who was most perfectly suited to being his helpmeet, his inspiration, and occasionally his guide. Standing with her before the vicar, wholeness settled over him; contentment filled his being. Not long after, they were away to London where his life might finally and truly begin.
That night, his muse awaited him upstairs in a chamber carefully prepared. Silver moonlight bathed her porcelain form, completing the transformation from earthly to ethereal. He surrendered to her intimate embrace. Surrounded by a completeness he could never have imagined, his soul shattered into a cascade of colors he could hear, a thousand sensations he could see. But somehow, they all made sense in communion with the other half of his soul.
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Other books by Maria Grace:
Remember the Past
The Darcy Brothers
Given Good Principles Series:
Darcy’s Decision
The Future Mrs. Darcy
All the Appearance of Goodness
Twelfth Night at Longbourn
Jane Austen’s Dragons Series:
A Proper Introduction to Dragons
Pemberley: Mr. Darcy’s Dragon
Longbourn: Dragon Entail
Netherfield: Rogue Dragon
The Queen of Rosings Park Series:
Mistaking Her Character
The Trouble to Check Her
A Less Agreeable Man
Sweet Tea Stories:
A Spot of Sweet Tea: Hopes and Beginnings (short
story anthology)
Snowbound at Hartfield
A Most Affectionate Mother
Inspiration
Darcy Family Christmas Series:
Darcy & Elizabeth: Christmas 1811
The Darcy’s First Christmas
From Admiration to Love
Regency Life (Nonfiction) Series:
A Jane Austen Christmas: Regency Christmas
Traditions
Courtship and Marriage in Jane Austen’s World
How Jane Austen Kept her Cool: An A to Z History of Georgian Ice Cream
Behind the Scene Anthologies (with Austen Variations):
Pride and Prejudice: Behind the Scenes
Persuasion: Behind the Scenes
Available in e-book and paperback
Free ebooks
Available at Maria Grace’s website:
RandomBitsofFascination.com
Rising Waters: Hurricane Harvey Memoirs
Lady Catherine’s Cat
A Gift from Rosings Park
Bits of Bobbin Lace
Half Agony, Half Hope: New Reflections on Persuasion
Four Days in April
By Austen Variations:
A Very Austen Advent
Scenes Jane Austen Never Wrote: First Anniversaries
March Madness Mashups
Anniversary February
Jane Bennet in January
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About the Author
Maria Grace has her PhD in Educational Psychology and is a 16-year veteran of the university classroom where she taught courses in human growth and development, learning, test development and counseling. None of which have anything to do with her undergraduate studies in economics/sociology/managerial studies/behavior sciences.
She has one husband and one grandson, earned two graduate degrees and two black belts, raised three sons, danced English Country dance for four years, is aunt to five nieces, is designing a sixth Regency costume, blogged seven years on Random Bits of Fascination, has outlines for eight novels waiting to be written, attended nine English country dance balls, and shared her life with ten cats.
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Acknowledgments
So many people have helped me along the journey taking this from an idea to a reality.
Debbie, Susanne, Julie, Anji, and Ruth thank you so much for cold reading, proofing and being honest!
My dear friend Cathy, my biggest cheerleader, you have kept me from chickening out more than once!
And my sweet sister Gerri who believed in even those first attempts that now live in the file drawer!
Thank you!
Don’t miss this free story from Maria Grace.
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