“It’s complicated,” CJ said. Lamely.
He rummaged through Bob’s toolbox, not sure what he was looking for, but unable to stand there and face Fiona for fear she’d judge him for being the type of guy who’d ask one girl out to make another girl jealous.
It wasn’t like that.
It was way more complicated than that. Obviously. Because women were involved. Women always overcomplicated things.
“It’s okay if you move on, you know,” Fiona said.
He stopped his hunt. “Been moving the last four years, Fi.”
She stayed in the threshold and leaned her head against the doorframe.
Bringing Noah had changed their dynamic.
Shouldn’t have. CJ wasn’t auditioning for the role of Noah’s next father. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t.
The kid—and his mother—needed more stability than CJ had to offer.
More dependability in the husband and father department too.
Not something he could share with his mother-in-law.
Because that would involve telling his mother-in-law that he’d made her daughter miserable.
“She was a stubborn girl.” Fiona’s wisp of a sad smile left no doubt who she was talking about. “Beautiful, perfect and stubborn. But you two would’ve worked everything out.”
CJ dropped the tape measure he hadn’t realized he’d picked up.
She knew?
“Oh, come now,” Fiona said. “Of all people, you should know girls talk to their mothers.”
She had him there.
“The year Bob and I got married, we fought every night over how he washed the silverware. My mother told me I should’ve appreciated having a man willing to wash the silverware back then, but we still fought about it. And you know what?”
CJ swallowed before he found his voice. “What?”
“She was right. I should’ve kept my mouth shut. Because he hasn’t washed so much as a damn fork for the last thirty years. But he’s kept the lawn mowed and the plumbing in good order and paid the mortgage, and I wouldn’t have wanted to share this life with anyone else. I wish you and Serena had had each other long enough to find your compromises. Because she was a wonderful woman, and you’re a good man, and she missed you. And I don’t believe you’d be here now if you hadn’t missed her. You would’ve worked everything out, and I know you would’ve been happy forever.”
She blinked quickly, then stood and tucked her hands in her pockets. “But reality is reality. I wouldn’t stick my nose in your business if you looked happy, but you, my dear, have the look of a puppy who just watched the mailman skip your house. And whatever—or whoever—you need to put the joy back in your life, Bob and I support you.” She glanced back into the house, where Noah’s little voice still drifted out. “Some things mean more than the world. They don’t come easy, and you’ll still hurt sometimes, but the effort of making it work is worth it. I believe in you, honey. It’s time you believe in yourself too.”
She cleared her throat. “Well. I’m going to go see if the boys need anything. Don’t need to be out here distracting you all day.”
“Fi.”
“Hm?”
“Thanks.” It was inadequate, but it was all he could manage for the moment. He hadn’t realized he’d wanted her forgiveness until she gave it, and he still wasn’t sure about her permission, but the relief at not having to pretend to have been Serena’s superman anymore was overwhelming.
“I’m only sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” she said.
She disappeared into the house, and with her departure went a chunk of his guilt.
It wasn’t everything, but it was more than he’d found on his own the last four years.
CJ AND NOAH left Bob and Fiona’s place late afternoon. Fiona had magically unearthed a pile of toys and games, and Noah had played his little heart out.
Fi would’ve made a terrific grandmother.
The thought sat heavy in CJ’s gut all the way back to Bliss.
Bob was doing well with his treatments. Their house was getting back in shape. After the flood renovations, the big projects like the garage door were few and far between. Mostly CJ had done their spring maintenance and helped Fiona with errands. They wouldn’t need him much longer. He was pricing tickets to Utah and keeping an eye on airfare to Australia.
He’d gotten his scuba certification with the Great Barrier Reef in mind. Be a shame to waste that now.
Noah yawned in the backseat. “Are we going home?”
“Not yet, little dude.” According to the schedule Natalie had texted CJ this morning, she wasn’t off work for another hour. He had to be at Suckers not long after that. Kimmie had initially offered to take Noah late afternoon, but then she’d sent him a message about a cupcake emergency and that her mother was scrambling somebody’s eggs. No way was he wading into that.
So they went to the rectory so CJ could get ready for work and Noah could have some downtime.
Kid was tired.
But Noah wasn’t the only one who needed downtime at the rectory, apparently. When they walked in, Pepper was there, sprawled across the couch. She lifted one eyelid with what looked like a great deal of effort when CJ and Noah walked in.
“Is this supposed to be a good surprise?” CJ said.
“That’s the last time I offer to buy a bridal boutique.”
An involuntary shiver rattled CJ’s spine. “You came here to buy Bliss Bridal?”
“Mm-hmm. Great little shop. Crazy-ass owner.” One eye lazily slid to Noah. “So that’s where you went, little dude.”
And there went his sisters, leaving him speechless again. No wonder Natalie had been so strung out.
She was losing every last one of her dreams.
Not his problem, he reminded himself. This part of his life was temporary.
“You’re still standing,” Pepper said. “Should’ve traded jobs with you today.”
CJ sucked in a breath. Time to be the brother she expected. “Big crowd at the bar. I’ve gotta go help. You got Noah for a while?”
Pepper whimpered.
CJ kept his game face. She could open her other eye and focus enough to call his bluff any minute. “And Natalie called,” he lied. “She has to work until nine tonight. Something about a computer glitch.”
Pepper’s whimper went deeper, but then she came up like she’d been shot off the couch with a slingshot, tossing a couch cushion at him. “You are so full of shi—” She shot a glance at where Noah rested his head against CJ’s leg. “Doody. You’re full of doody.”
“What? You don’t believe me?” Damn. He was still rusty with the family pranks.
The grin spreading over Pepper’s cheeks reminded CJ of the time they’d hidden one of each of Saffron’s special socks so she didn’t have a single matched set. “Nope. But after today, it wouldn’t surprise me if she was working late. That woman—the Queen General? She’s scary. But Natalie showed her who’s boss today, and packed Bliss Bridal in the process. It was epic. I’m surprised the fire department didn’t come in and chase everyone out for building capacity code violations.”
CJ felt a grin coming on despite his own wobbly standing with Natalie. “So she had a good day?”
“Oh, yeah. She sent everybody home and said she was closing up half an hour ago.” Pepper hooked a thumb toward the kitchen. “By the way, cupcakes are in the kitchen if you want some.”
It would take more than cupcakes to distract CJ from the rest of the story. “You really want to buy the shop?”
Her animated smile morphed into a line. “Yeah. Drama aside, it’s a great shop in a great location with a great history. I would love to buy it. But they’re not selling.”
“They’re not?” The news made him happier than it should’ve. Nat’s future was none of his business.
“Depends on who you believe,” Pepper said. “She gave me her dad’s contact information and the name of his broker. But she doesn’t want to sell. You can tell. Hon
estly, watching her work—I don’t get why anyone would object to her. She’s good.”
Yeah, she was. At a lot of things. “So you’re giving up?”
“Oh, I didn’t say that. She’s not the only one who was born to sell dresses, and an opportunity like this doesn’t come around every day. If she’s dum—er, if she wants out, I’ll happily step in.”
CJ opened his mouth to tell Pepper to back off, but when he realized the words would have been more of a growl, he turned the lecture on himself.
Who was he to get upset with Natalie’s choices? He tapped Noah’s shoulder. “You want a cupcake, little dude?”
“Did Kimmie make them?”
“Kimmie,” Pepper said. “We should talk some more about her.” Pepper’s evil side was as big as Basil’s, but twice as happy.
“Mommy never says quarter words about Kimmie,” Noah said. “I like her cupcakes better.”
“Kimmie made ’em,” CJ assured Noah.
“Interesting choice for a stand-in wife, Princess,” Pepper said.
“Back off.”
“Her, sure. You, never.” Her gaze drifted down to Noah again. “We all like you close to home. Far be it from me to stop reminding you how much you like it too.”
CJ nudged Noah toward the kitchen. “Might want to change your tactic.”
“You know what’s interesting?” Pepper said.
“Anything but this conversation?”
“How much you and Natalie have in common.”
She had more of a point than he’d ever admit. To her, anyway.
Skipping Utah and heading straight to Australia was beginning to sound like a very, very good plan. The sooner, the better.
DESPITE ALL THE good coming out of Bliss Bridal today, when Natalie got home, a weary sadness settled into her bones. The Queen General hadn’t counter-attacked, which meant something big, bad, and most likely horrifying would be coming soon. Nat was half-afraid to close her eyes tonight.
But she had a more immediate problem first.
Noah was due home any minute.
Her heart shuddered. The cupcakes had been a decent distraction from thinking how Noah was getting to know CJ. About trusting CJ with the single most important person in her life.
About how CJ was giving the Queen General exactly what she wanted in his choice of Golden Husband Games partner.
Nat didn’t want to hate Kimmie.
But CJ had replaced Natalie.
Already.
No amount of logic could convince Nat that it was right. That Kimmie deserved her moment in the limelight. That everything was better this way.
Because Natalie liked CJ.
She didn’t want to. Not for CJ’s sake, but for her own sake.
He was off-limits. He’d picked Kimmie. He was leaving.
Her phone buzzed, announcing a text from CJ that they’d arrived. She squared her attitude and went to meet them in front.
Noah tumbled out of Kimmie’s car and streaked across the yard to launch himself at Natalie, stories tumbling out at a hundred thousand miles an hour.
The basics came down to I love CJ, Mom. I can’t wait to do this again tomorrow.
Natalie hugged him tight, ignoring the shadow she felt approaching. “Were you a good boy?” she asked in the midst of one of his infrequent pauses for breath.
“He was great,” CJ said.
“I was, Mom. And I got a cupcake. Can we have cupcakes for dinner? Pepper said Baby Dinosaur wouldn’t fit in her dress if we gave her any cupcakes, but you can just let the seams out, right, Mom?”
Pepper. Pepper, who would take over her mother’s boutique one day. One day soon.
At least one good thing would come of getting out of Bliss.
Natalie would have the energy to enjoy Noah’s enthusiasm for every bit of life.
He had a frosting ring halfway around his upper lip, subtle smudges beneath his eyes that spoke of a hard day of playing without a nap, and he was still vibrating with excitement. He’d mentioned CJ’s in-laws—Natalie knew enough CJ Blue trivia to recognize the names—along with Pepper and Father Basil, and he looked about to launch into My Day, Part Two: A Narrative. Natalie tapped his lips. “Save some for dinner conversation, okay, kiddo?”
“But, Mom, CJ used to be married, and his wife died in a war. Did you know that?”
CJ’s sudden stillness balanced Natalie’s suddenly painfully pounding heart. “I did.” She patted his back. “Go on in and get washed up for dinner.”
“Can we have cupcakes?” he asked again.
Three hundred cupcakes delivered to Bliss Bridal this morning, and there had been fifteen left at the end of the day. Total success in Nat’s book. She had sent most of them home with the rest of the girls, but she had two inside for Noah and herself. “If you eat your SpaghettiOs.”
“Cool!”
He scampered inside, singing. “Oooh, girl,” he crooned. “I’m having cupcakes! With my dinner! Washing my hands! With Baby Dinosaur!”
Natalie suppressed a smile, then rose to snap on her grateful mother face.
CJ hadn’t moved. One of his eyebrows crinkled, and he was watching her like he would a crazy person.
“Thank you for your assistance today,” she said, more stiffly than she intended, yet still more friendly than she wanted.
His face relaxed, and his shoulders subtly did too. “Heard you had your hands full.”
She almost smiled. She wanted to smile.
Getting the best of the QG—even though she’d surely pay for it later—had made her feel invincible. But CJ was still the man who’d slept with her and then asked the QG’s daughter to be his partner in the Golden Husband Games.
“Handling crises is in my job description,” Nat said.
One corner of his mouth hitched up. The warmth in his eyes made her want to hide.
She didn’t, of course. But she wanted to.
He watched her a beat longer, and the other corner of his mouth joined the first. He nodded. “Looks good on you.”
“Wh-what?”
“Your confidence. It fits you. You should wear it more often.”
The compliment slipped through a crack in the iron case protecting her heart. Warmth spread from her breast to her fingers and up into her cheeks. “I do what I have to do.”
“You’re doing it right.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, still watching her, making the warmth spread higher and hotter in her face. “Kimmie’s got the morning shift with Noah tomorrow. She’ll swing by and get him around eight, unless you need her earlier. I’ll take him at lunch.”
“I don’t need charity.”
Damn man smiled bigger. But it wasn’t the bigger that bothered her so much as the softer. Affection from CJ was dangerous.
Addictive.
“Only a fool would make that mistake, Nat. Your day care lady back to work tomorrow?”
She shook her head. Mrs. Tanner would be out for several weeks, and he knew it. Which meant the right thing to do was to call Dad.
But she’d solve this herself.
She would.
“I have a few calls out,” she said. “This is a temporary solution.” And she’d pay them the same that she paid Mrs. Tanner.
“You like being difficult, don’t you?”
“You like sleeping around, don’t you?” she fired back.
Then instantly wished she could take it back. Not because CJ minded. He laughed. He actually laughed, as if she’d told a funny joke. But Natalie felt like a petty little bitch, and she didn’t want to be a petty little bitch.
She wanted to be worthy of a guy who put his own plans on hold to take care of his in-laws and a babysitter-less kid.
She wanted a different kind of life.
“Who would you have picked for me?” he asked.
No one. She would’ve picked no one. But that wasn’t an option, which meant she’d pick—
Kimmie.
Dammit, she would’ve picked Kimmie.
&n
bsp; “Quarter word?” CJ said.
“Don’t you have to be at work?” She squeezed her eyes shut and blew out a slow breath before opening them again. He’d asked her first. She’d said no. Aside from a brief flirtation where they both knew the score, he hadn’t given her any impression that he was playing in the Games for any reason other than to honor his dead wife. He deserved the opportunity without judgment from her. “I hope Kimmie is everything you need from a partner.”
“She wasn’t my first choice,” he said.
Her heart grew baby wings and beat against that iron casing. “I also hope you don’t have to endure too many family dinners with her mother present.”
His grin was significantly less amused this time. “Me too.” He checked his watch. “Noah had a lot of questions about Serena today. You might get a few more.”
“He likes you.”
“He’s a good kid.”
They stared at each other another moment.
“I need to go—”
“Gotta get to—”
Natalie smiled, and CJ smiled back at her.
“Thank you,” Natalie said.
His hand rose, as if he wanted to reach for her, but then he dropped it and stepped back. “See you tomorrow.”
When he turned back to Kimmie’s car, Natalie gave herself a moment to ogle his ass, then took one last clear breath and headed inside to have dinner with the little boy who was her world.
She’d earned it.
Chapter Fifteen
AFTER A COUPLE weeks of playing part-time parent, CJ had a new respect for anyone who’d ever raised a kid. Working the late shift at Suckers every night this weekend had wiped him out, but Monday morning, when Noah barreled at him full-steam, still wearing CJ’s Falcons hat, CJ wouldn’t have traded it for anything.
He squatted, and Noah tackled him with a hug. “Hey, big dude!”
CJ squeezed him back. “Hey, little dude.”
Natalie was on the phone at the register, rubbing her temples as if she were warding off a headache, but her smile for him made him both lighthearted and light-headed. And maybe a tad frustrated.
He wanted to do more than make her smile. Preferably with both of them naked again.
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