We didn't talk much at first. When we got to his apartment he didn't even turn on the lights, but stood behind me, putting his hands on my shoulders, walking me back to his bedroom. He put something on the stereo, lit a few votive candles and sat down next to me on the bed. Once again he ran his finger over the rose tattooed on my shoulder.
"Why a rose, Lily?" he asked softly. "Shouldn't it be a Lily? And a white lily to match the owner?"
I shook my head. "I don't know. It was an impulse decision. It seemed right at the time.'' I thought about it for a little bit. "Still does, as a matter of fact."
"Well, then maybe I should call you Rose." I snorted. "If you do, I'll call you Alfred."
He pushed me back against the bed, held my shoulders down and moved his legs over to straddle me. "You wouldn't dare," he said.
"Oh." I smiled up at him. "You think not?"
"Actually," he said as he ran his hands down from my shoulders, caressing my breasts through the thin T-shirt, teasing my nipples into erectness, "I don't much care what you call me. I'm just glad you're here."
"Oddly enough, Hyde, so am I." Afterward, I realized that he had changed. The first time we'd made love, he'd been awkward, unsure of himself, unsure of what to do with my body and his. This time, he had been smooth and flawless, from the time he stripped me bare to the last few little shudders we both gave when I raked my nails over his shoulders and back. He rolled from me with a sigh, leaned over to deposit a light kiss on my shoulder and stretched out on the bed next to me, his naked body barely grazing mine.
I felt like I was glowing down to my toes. "Why don't we do this more often?" I asked, resting on one elbow and brushing his hair away from his face. "It was wonderful."
"That's a question I've asked myself many times, Lily Love. You tell me."
I giggled. "Because I kept saying no?"
He tilted his head to one side and smiled. "Yep, that'd be it. Now, how about that pizza and beer?"
I managed to eat one piece of the pizza, and did better than that with the beer. I could eat solid food, but generally preferred a liquid diet. Once I'd recognized the fact that I was different from other people, somewhere around the biological age of seven or so, I'd tried to force myself to grow. Gorging on everything I could find, I only succeeded in making myself deathly ill for a week. I never tried the experiment again.
Hyde didn't seem to suffer from anything worse than a healthy appetite, and he didn't seem to mind that I ate very little. "More for me," he mumbled around a mouthful when I refused a second piece. "Although it wouldn't hurt for you to have just a little more meat on your bones."
"I noticed you weren't complaining about that a little bit ago."
"Probably not. Why would I? You're a beautiful woman, Lily. Perfect just the way you are. As skinny as an alley cat and twice as horny."
I rolled up my napkin and tossed it at him, hitting him square on the forehead. "Thanks a lot, Hyde.
Although, at least you have the good sense to call me a woman and not a girl."
He finished the last slice of pizza and wiped his mouth on the napkin I'd thrown. "I think, somehow, it's been a long, long time since you were a girl."
"Really." My tone of voice was evasive. I avoided his eyes and got up, picking up the empty pizza box and carrying it to the kitchen. When I came back he was sitting on the couch, still regarding me with a faintly puzzled look.
"Hyde, you said your mother called you Alfie. What does she call you now?"
"She doesn't call me anything anymore."
"You don't speak to her?"
He gave me a funny lopsided grin. "I guess I could, but it wouldn't do much good. She's dead. Been dead for about three years now."
"Oh," I said, wishing that I hadn't steered the subject in this direction. I could hear the sadness in his voice. "I'm really sorry to hear that. She must have been young. And it must have been a shock. For you, I mean."
"Nah, it's okay. It wasn't too bad, as these things go, I guess. She had cancer, but she didn't linger. And she didn't even seem to suffer too much."
We sat silent for a while. He stared at me, cleared his throat and looked away. "So," he said, glancing back at me, this time catching and holding my attention, "what about you? I got the feeling from the story you told that you don't get along with your mother. She still around?"
"My mother?"
"Yeah."
"My mother?" My voice rose a little hysterically. "How the hell would I know? I never knew the bitch, but I assume she's still around. And I doubt she'll ever do me the favor and die."
"Hey, Lily, calm down. I was only asking."
"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry. I'm not angry with you, Hyde. It's just not a good situation."
Hyde shrugged. "Like me and my dad. Yeah, I know how it is. But everyone dies sometime, Lily. You're just saying all of this because you feel like you're inferior or something, because you weren't important enough to her. Obviously, she abandoned you when you were just a baby. I could recognize the truth under that goofy story from the bar."
"No, Hyde, I'm saying it because it's true. It's all true. I woke up in the grave, the premature grave she consigned me to. She gave birth to me and then she walked away and let them bury me. She didn't even stop to see if I was breathing, didn't even stop long enough to see if I was alive. That's how fucking important I am to her. I bet she doesn't even remember having me."
"Of course she remembers having you, Lily." He reached up and pulled me down so that I was sitting on his lap. "You're hurt and upset and that's perfectly understandable. You don't need to embellish your story to impress me. I like you anyway."
If his words were supposed to be calming, they had the opposite effect. I pushed away from him and stood in front of the couch, glaring down at him. "It's not a story, Hyde. How many times do I have to say that?"
"It's okay, Lily. Say it as often as you need to. I don't mind."
I gave a little exasperated scream. "It's not a question of need. It's the truth. My bitch of a mother left me for dead. And what's worse? She may never die. Ever. You see, she's a vampire."
* * *
CHAPTER THREE
« ^ »
Hyde's mouth dropped open and he stared at me in shock for a second, before he shook himself and smiled. "Yeah, I understand. You mean she's like a vampire, you know, figuratively?"
I shook my head. I didn't even know why we were having this conversation. It didn't change anything. But I laughed unpleasantly and continued. "No, I meant what I said. She is a vampire. Period. Not just that she acts like one, although"—and my mouth twisted in a wry smile—"I guess she must act like one on occasion. She'd have to, wouldn't she? But other than that, she is really and truly a vampire."
"Uh-huh."
"You don't believe me." It was not a question. "I might've thought that you would at least hold out a semblance of belief. Ever since I've known you, you and the others have been playing at life and death, playing vampire. You talk incessantly about taking and drinking blood; you stay up all night and avoid the sunlight. I guess it never occurred to any of you that you might be imitating something more real than pulp novels and cheap movies." I sat back down on the couch and he put his arm around me.
"Well," he said, giving me a weak grin, "I know how you are, Lily. I know you can spin a story and have even the smartest of us believing it. So when you ask me if I believe that your mother is a vampire, I have to say no. And if you were to ask if I believed in vampires in general?" He shook his head. "In a word? No."
"Ah. Okay then." I gave it up; there was no use in trying to convince him. "But I had you going for a while, didn't I?"
Hyde leaned over and kissed my forehead. "Do you really want to know?"
I nodded.
"It's a hell of a good story, Lily, but once again the answer is no."
I shrugged. "All right. Have it your way. We'll give it a rest. It's been a wonderful evening, Hyde. I'm sorry I spoiled it with talk. Would you walk m
e home?''
"Of course," he said. "And you didn't spoil a thing, Lily. I love the sound of your voice. And as a matter of fact, I think I love you."
I blinked. "Yeah. Right. Let's get going, Moon will be waiting for me."
"You told him what?" Moon was angry.
"I told him the truth. You know I did. Same as I told the truth in the bar tonight. He didn't believe me. They didn't believe me. Why would they?"
"Even so, Lily, honey, you can't go around telling everyone your mother's a vampire. They'll think you crazed. Besides, no one really knows for sure what your mother was."
"Philomena knew. When she found me in the cemetery that night, she knew. And I listened to her when she talked about it to others. She knew."
Moon nodded. "Gramma Philomeen was a wise woman. So I guess if she said that's how it was, that's how it is." She got up from her chair. "You want a cup of tea, Lily? My old bones got awful cold waiting for your young ones to get home."
I laughed. "I told you not to wait, Moon. But yes, I'll have a cup of tea."
"What else do I have to do but wait, child?" she said as she walked into the small kitchen. "I don't sleep so well these days, anyway."
While she was fussing in the kitchen, I went to my room and took off my clothes. On my way to the dresser to get my nightgown I paused at the mirror. My body was flawless, as white as polished marble and just as cold. I squinted at my reflection, as always, thinking she might look just like this. Then I shook my head, put on my gown and went back into the living room.
Moon set a mug next to my chair and settled back into hers. Taking a sip from her cup, she glanced over at me. "But you had a good time with him, yes?"
"With who?"
"Hyde. You like him, don't you?"
I shrugged. "Yeah, I suppose so. He's changed. Or changing. Anyway, I think he likes me more than I like him."
"Nothing wrong with that, Lily. Comes a time a girl thinks of moving away from her folks and getting on with life. And you are certainly old enough." She laughed, then grew serious. "You'll need someone to take care of you, once I'm gone."
"Gone? Where are you going?"
"Nowhere. Don't pay any attention to me, girl. I'm just feeling old and cold." She paused for a minute, shivered, then took another swallow of tea. "So, was it like the way you told it? Tonight in the bar?"
"Yes, it was. If I close my eyes and think about it, I can remember. And, you know, I don't want to remember."
"Ah. I can well understand that, honey. It's not a pleasant thing to look back on. Still, you are here now. And I love my Lily child. You are my comfort."
I snorted, trying to think how I could be her comfort. I had teased her from the day she was born, to the point now that few people remembered her given name. I'd grasped at her first childish attempt to say her given name, and she had become Moon. I teased her now, even when it seemed our roles had reversed. I'd been a moody, willful child, and an angry and resentful teen, attempting to adjust my old knowledge to a body that developed painfully and slowly, chafing constantly under the restrictions placed on me by my perceived age ."I must be a cold comfort, then, Moon, and you could do better. Why did you never marry?"
She shrugged. "Never got around to it. You were a handful; it's not easy raising a child that takes ten years or more to grow one year. And besides"—she leaned forward and gave a girlish giggle—"the only man who ever asked me was Bowlegged 'Lo."
I laughed with her. "Bowlegged 'Lo? Angelo asked you to marry him? Please tell me you're kidding."
"Sure as I sit here, Lily. He wasn't a bad-looking man, really, when he was younger. But Mama would have no part of him. 'He's got evil eyes and bad legs, Mary Lou,' she'd say. 'No girl of mine is going to give herself to that bastard bokor.' " I could hear her mother's voice as she spat the word. "Why, he even followed us around for years so he could be with me, hoping Mama would change her mind." Moon settled back into her chair, fanning herself with her hand. "It wasn't no use. But bad legs or not, oh, girl, how that man could kiss. I was real crazy about him for a while, but then Mama died and I got you and he quit asking."
"Still, you had no daughters. And there have always been daughters."
"I have you. And that's enough for me." She set her mug down and got up, laughing. "More than enough, actually. And the time comes sooner or later when it all has to end. Get some sleep, Lily." She moved over to me and kissed the top of my head. "I'll see you in the morning."
"Good night, Moon."
I sat for a while, flipping through the television channels. Nothing was on, as usual. Turning the set off, I wondered what Hyde was doing right now. Sleeping. Probably snoring. Or maybe he'd gone back to the cemetery with the other kids. I hummed his song idly and opened the box that contained Moon's caracoles: the twenty-one small cowrie shells that told her the future.
They were worn from years of use, having been handed down mother to daughter starting with Philomena. Much like I had been. But these, at least, served a purpose. From my cradle I had watched Philomena cast these for her clients, foretelling their future, guiding them as well as she could. And since the fortunes would always come true, the shells would bring us gifts: food, money, clothes and trinkets. Philomena refused to train me in the art. "You have other powers, baby," she'd say, "no need to be mixing them up." But even forbidden, I had watched and I had learned. I separated five from the group that would not be cast, and cupped the other sixteen in my hands, holding them to my mouth and breathing my question into them.
"Is it time?"
As I dropped them, I knew by the way they fell that the answer was the same as always.
"No, the time is wrong."
"Thanks so much." I put them back into their box and closed the lid. "And what a surprising answer."
Moon called out from her room. "Put those things away, Lily. They've got nothing good to say for themselves tonight." I should have known she wouldn't yet be sleeping. Had I been caught with the shells by Philomena, I'd have had a lecture to look forward to. But Moon was more at ease with her rituals and her religion. More at ease with me. "And you get yourself to bed now, hear?"
I sighed. Over a century lived with nothing to show for it but the same unanswered questions. It would never be time. "Okay, Moon. I'm going."
I lay in bed for a while, watching the patterns of shadows on the ceiling, counting years instead of sheep. So many years stacked up behind me. So many stretched out ahead of me. And still, to the outside world, I was nothing but a scrawny young woman, barely out of her teens. Moon and I had once played with a politically correct term for what I was; temporally challenged was the best we'd come up with. But there were no help groups for me, no twelve-step program to make me normal. I was what I was. And I hated every long minute of it. All the decades of school, learning the same facts time and again, until I knew them better than my teachers, only to start over with each new move. And it was as much or more of a nightmare for my keepers as it was for me. Having to move every five or six years had taken its toll on their patience and their finances. Now, at least, I had achieved a maturity of body, which meant that Moon and I could stay here in this place for a longer period of time.
Poor Moon. She did not even have the luxury of love and children to make it worth her while. She should have married 'Lo anyway, I thought, bad legs or not.
I sighed and rolled over on my side. Just before I drifted off, I said the names of all the women who had been my mothers and whispered a prayer for their spirits, those lovely spirits who had sacrificed much to keep me safe. Each name, each face, each voice that had sung me to sleep, the arms that had held me and rocked me and tried to give me love; all were carried deep within me. But following the list, there was always the nameless one. The bitch who birthed me and left me for dead. The one who made me what I was. I cursed her life, prayed for her death and fell asleep into bitter dreams of betrayal and the stench of the grave.
* * *
CHAPTER FOUR
&nb
sp; « ^ »
"Wake up, Lily love, I've brought you a present"
I pulled the blanket up over my head. "Go away," I muttered, waving a hand imperiously at whatever annoying person dared to bother me.
"But it's a pretty present and you'll like it Come on, Lily, it's a wonderful day outside."
"Hyde?" I squinted out from under my covers. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Moon let me in. And she says it's high time you were out of bed anyway."
I groaned. "Hyde, go away. I hate mornings."
"Well, then"—he tugged at my toes—"you're in luck. It's not morning anymore."
I sighed and rolled over, trying to fall asleep again. But I could still feel his presence. Sitting up, I stretched and yawned. "Okay, okay, I'm up." I glared at him and then opened my eyes wide. "Jesus, Hyde, what the hell did you do to yourself?"
He rubbed his hand over his hair. "I got a haircut," he said, blushing slightly.
I crawled out of bed and touched his closely shaved head. "What did you do? Join the Marines?"
He laughed. "Nope, Lily, it's worse than that. I have a job now; I'm working at my father's shop."
"Working? But you always said you were never going to support society by buying into the system."
Hyde shrugged. "It's only my father's shop, Lily. I'll be learning to be a mechanic; it's a good skill. And besides, I said that years ago, when we were just kids. I'm surprised you even remember."
I gave him a twisted smile. "I remember everything, Hyde, you should know that by now. And speaking of remembering, where's my present?"
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, square black box. "It's not much, really, just a token. Dad was so happy when I told him I was coming into the business, he gave me a little money to live on until payday. And I saw this in the window of the jewelry store, the one next to the bar, and thought of you."
Vampire Legacy 04 - Blood of My Blood Page 2