Josh scowled at her. He figured the only way to shut her up about his personal life was to put her on the defensive. “What is it you think you see, Mother, or do I even have to ask? You always did start hearing the wedding march sometime after the first kiss. Are you hearing it when you’re with George Winslow?”
Nadine scowled at him. “Don’t drag George into this conversation. It’s about you and Maggie.”
“Maggie and I are just fine,” Josh claimed. At least he thought they were. They might not have defined where they were or where they were going, but the current setup seemed to suit them. He’d see how it wore on them after he’d moved into her place for a few days. “I’m going inside to pack a few things.”
Nadine’s eyes widened. “Pack? You just got back.”
“And now I’m leaving again,” he said tersely, then went inside and shut the door behind him. He didn’t want Maggie seeing the inside of this dump.
He could hear the murmur of voices outside the door, so he threw his stuff into a suitcase as quickly as he could to get back to the two of them before Nadine pried too much information out of Maggie. He had a hunch she might not be as reticent as he’d prefer.
When he stepped out into the bright sunlight, Nadine was alone and Maggie was back in the truck. His mother regarded him speculatively.
“What did you say to her?” he demanded. “If you did anything to upset her, I will never forgive you.”
“Oh, for goodness’ sake, calm down. Maggie’s not upset. I just gave her a few things to think about.”
“Such as?”
“That’s between Maggie and me. Now I have a couple of things to say to you.”
“I don’t want to hear them,” Josh said adamantly.
“Do you actually think that’s going to stop me?” she asked, regarding him with amusement.
“Okay, fine,” he muttered, resigned. “Get it over with.”
Her gaze was steady. “You’ve never done anything like this before,” she said quietly.
“Like what?” he asked, immediately defensive.
“Moved in with a woman.”
“How the hell would you know that? You haven’t been around in years.”
“Okay, then, I’ll ask. Have you ever lived with a woman?”
He felt as uncomfortable as he had at seventeen when Nadine had handed him a condom and told him to remember what it was for. “No, but I don’t see what that’s got to do with anything. Nor do I see how it’s any of your business. Besides, Maggie and I are not living together the way you mean. We’re sharing her house for the time being so I can keep an eye on her. Did she tell you about the fire?”
Nadine’s eyes widened. “What fire?”
He gave her the condensed version. “And that’s why I’m moving in,” he concluded, ignoring the fact that the timing of the decision had been slightly different. This scenario would make sense to Nadine and get her off his case.
“Then you’ll be sleeping in a guest room or on a sofa or something?” his mother asked, still skeptical.
“It is definitely none of your business where I sleep. I’m drawing the line right there, Mother.” He tossed his bag in the back of the truck and started to step inside. “This discussion is over.”
Nadine latched on to his arm. “Hold on just a minute and look at me, Josh Parker. I may not have earned the right to tell you what to do, but I am your mother, so I’m entitled to worry about you. No matter what you say to me or what you tell yourself, this is a big step. Don’t do it if you’re not making a statement to Maggie about your intentions.”
“My intention is to protect her from that psychopath.”
Nadine gave him a knowing look. “I know that’s probably what you’re telling yourself.”
“It’s the truth, dammit!”
She regarded him sympathetically. “Oh, sweetie, I think you want much more than that. I think you’re going to walk into that house of hers and find everything that’s always been missing in your life and it’s going to kill you when the crisis is over and you have to leave.”
Josh was startled by her insight. He wanted to deny that there was any truth at all to her claim, but he couldn’t. “Maybe so,” he admitted. “But that’s a small price to pay to make sure Maggie’s safe, don’t you agree?”
“Be honest with her, Josh,” Nadine said urgently. “Tell her now that it’s about more than that. Tell her you’re in love with her and you want it all.”
He closed his eyes, still trying to block out the truth in his mother’s words. If he admitted that he loved Maggie, then he had to face the fact that the rest was true, as well, that it would kill him to walk away when Brian was behind bars.
“You know,” Nadine said quietly, “Maggie might surprise you. She might be just as much in love with you as you are with her.”
For the first time in years, Josh looked into his mother’s eyes and saw the real concern there. When had their relationship changed? When had she once again assumed the role of parent? Didn’t she know it was too late now? He’d needed her years ago and she hadn’t been there, not the way he’d wanted her to be. Unfortunately, he couldn’t waste time exploring all that ancient history now.
Instead, he said, “I can’t take that chance. Because if you’re wrong, she’ll keep me out and I have to be there now.”
She gave him a sad smile. “I knew you’d say that.”
“How?”
“Because you’ve always put everyone’s needs before your own, even mine at a time when I didn’t deserve it.”
“I’ll be okay, Mother. I’ve always been okay.”
“Yes, I imagine so. You’re a lot stronger than I ever was. But something tells me you’ll pay a terrible price just the same.”
“You know, I used to think I was the strong one and you were weak,” he said with rare candor. “But I’ve developed a whole new appreciation for you since you’ve been here. I think you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. Now, let me get out of here before Maggie changes her mind. I’ll see you on Saturday.”
“Or before,” she said. “I think I’ll check in from time to time to make sure Maggie’s treating you right.”
Josh shook his head at this belated display of maternal concern. He was way past the age when he needed anyone looking out for him, but, belated or not, he had to admit it felt good knowing that Nadine genuinely cared. It had been a long time since he’d believed anyone gave two hoots what happened to him.
“Nadine doesn’t approve of this,” Maggie said when Josh was in the truck and they were headed for her place. She looked oddly shaken by that.
He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter.”
“I thought she liked me.”
“She does. It’s the situation that has her acting a little crazy,” he explained. “I never thought I’d live to see the day when she’d worry about my sleeping arrangements.”
“What exactly is she worried about?” Maggie pressed.
Josh glanced at her. “I’ve already told you that it’s not important.”
“I could just ask her.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t.”
“Well, she wasn’t as straightforward with me as she appeared to be with you. I just picked up on this weird vibe that she wasn’t entirely happy with the situation.”
His lips twitched. “Since your curiosity was obviously all stirred up, why didn’t you roll down your window and eavesdrop?”
“That would be impolite,” she said primly, then added with a note of disgust, “besides, you have power windows and I couldn’t get the damn things down.”
Josh laughed. “Then you did consider the idea?”
“Of course.”
“Maggie, you don’t need to worry about my mother. Maybe the mother we ought to be worrying about is yours. How is she going to take this new development?”
“She’ll deal with it,” Maggie said. “She won’t have any choice.”
“You know, it’s ironic how much thos
e two women have in common,” Josh said. “You sure as hell wouldn’t guess it to look at them. Something tells me when news of our living arrangements gets out, they’re going to be thick as thieves trying to decide what to do about it.”
“They don’t scare me,” Maggie said.
Josh studied her unconcerned expression and shook his head. “They probably should, darlin’. These two are not lightweights when it comes to causing a ruckus.”
“And we’re not two teenagers sneaking off to some lovers’ lane,” Maggie countered. “We’re both adults. I know exactly what the score is and so do you.”
Josh thought about Nadine’s belief that Maggie didn’t have a clue what this move meant to him. Now was not the time to fill her in.
Besides, after he’d spent a couple of days dodging hose and lacy bras hanging from the shower rod or tripping on a pair of high-heeled sandals she’d tossed carelessly aside, he’d probably tire of the whole domestic-bliss thing. In fact, he was counting on it.
Her carriage house felt smaller with Josh underfoot every time she turned around, Maggie thought with annoyance. It had been different in that hotel room in Savannah. They’d been there for one reason and they’d spent most of their time in bed.
Now, with all the careful rules spelled out about their living arrangements and the fact it was just about protecting her from Brian, they spent way too much time avoiding the bed. Josh was taking the whole bodyguard thing to an extreme. She couldn’t figure out when on earth he was sleeping, since he was wide awake on the sofa when she went to bed and wide awake at the kitchen table drinking coffee when she got up.
She took two days of this before she finally lost her temper. Climbing out of her cold and lonely bed at three in the morning, she went downstairs and spotted him sitting outside on the patio. She couldn’t help the sudden rush of sympathy at the loneliness radiating from him. She had to find a way around or over or through that wall he’d built since moving in here. She knew it had something to do with whatever Nadine had said to him.
Pouring herself a cup of coffee, she took a seat beside him.
“This isn’t working for me,” she said bluntly.
He turned to stare at her. “What?”
“You living here.”
He regarded her with a stunned expression. “I’ve been doing my best to stay out of your way.”
“That’s just it. It’s weird. You’re acting as if we hardly know each other. I thought—” She cut herself off before she could say that she’d thought it would be different, that they’d grow closer with him living under her roof.
“You thought what?”
“That we were past this awkwardness,” she said finally, then decided to be perfectly honest. “I thought you’d be sleeping upstairs with me.”
Josh met her gaze, then sighed. “To tell you the truth, that’s what I thought, too.”
“Then why are you downstairs while I’m in my bed all alone?”
“It seemed like a good idea to put a little distance between us.”
“Why?”
“I can’t protect you if I’m distracted,” he said.
“Baloney!” she said at once.
A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Not buying that one?”
“Not even close.”
“I thought it was pretty good.”
“For a professional bodyguard,” she agreed. “Not for a man who’s been my lover. Dammit, Josh, if your feelings have changed, I have a right to know about it.”
“My feelings haven’t changed,” he told her. “That’s the point, I guess.”
“I’m sure that makes perfect sense to you, but not to me.”
“It was something Nadine said,” he admitted, confirming Maggie’s suspicion. “She told me I was going to move in here and find all the things that had been missing in my life.”
“Such as?”
“Little things, I guess,” he began as if he was struggling to put it into words. He regarded her earnestly. “It’s a home, Maggie. I never had that. This place is filled with heirlooms. It’s filled with memories. I told you before that there was never anything like that in my life. Walking through these rooms, seeing the old family pictures, being surrounded by all these things that mean something to you, it makes me want something I can’t have.”
Maggie thought she was finally beginning to get it. “You can have anything if you want it badly enough.”
“I wish I could believe that.”
“What is it you want that you think you can’t have?”
“Roots, I suppose.”
Her heart turned over at the wistfulness in his voice. “You know, Josh, seeds don’t have any roots when you first put them in the ground. They have to be nurtured. Next thing you know they’re deep in the earth and a plant is flourishing.”
He regarded her bleakly. “You can say that because it’s something you’ve had all your life. It’s harder to believe when you’ve lived the way I have.”
“Maybe that’s where faith comes in. You have to start somewhere, Josh.”
He lifted his gaze to hers. “You know when it really hit me? I was in the bathroom, putting my toothbrush in the holder next to yours. Seems like a silly thing, doesn’t it? But it hit me right in the chest that this was what it was like for two people to be together. It’s a million tiny, intimate things that add up to a relationship.”
“But it always starts with just one thing,” Maggie said. “Like a toothbrush.”
“And then what? Our underwear’s all mingled together in the laundry? You steal the toast off my plate?”
She tried to fight a smile and failed. “If I promise never to steal your toast or turn your underwear pink by washing it with my red bra, will you come to bed with me? Please?”
He stared at her with undisguised longing. “I want to.”
“Then do it, Josh. Don’t try to analyze it or predict where we’re heading. Just come to bed tonight. Tomorrow will take care of itself.”
“Not fifteen minutes ago, you wanted me to move out,” he said wryly.
“No, what I said was that it wasn’t working for me the way it’s been the last couple of days,” she corrected. “I’ve been feeling isolated and alone. I like what we have together. I don’t want to lose it, certainly not because either one of us is scared about what the future might hold.”
He looked deep into her eyes and he must have found whatever he was looking for, because he finally nodded. “You’re right. It would be foolish to walk away from something we both want.”
Maggie stood and held out her hand. “Just so you know, it’s not just about the sex.”
He grinned at last, ignoring her outstretched hand and looping an arm around her shoulders. “Never thought it was.”
“Yes, you did. You’re a man, aren’t you? Men always think it’s just about the sex.”
“I’ll prove it,” he retorted. “There will be no sex.”
Maggie nudged him in the ribs. “Bet I can make you change your mind.”
He gave her a bland look. “You can try.”
She slipped her arm companionably around his waist and snuggled against his side as they walked toward her room. “I’ve missed this.”
“What? Arguing with me?”
“Feeling close to you.”
He sighed then. “Me, too, darlin’.”
Once he’d made the move from the sofa into Maggie’s bed, Josh kept waiting for panic to start clawing its way up the back of his throat, but a week later, it hadn’t happened. Instead, it felt right, just the way the sight of those two toothbrushes side by side had felt right.
Even so, he kept reminding himself he was staying at Maggie’s because Brian was on the loose. He told himself that would make it easier for him to go when the time came. Since the lie was beginning to wear thin, he was relieved when Saturday rolled around and he knew they’d be surrounded by other people all day long. Maybe that would help him keep things in perspective.
&nb
sp; Instead, he arrived at the site and Nadine was immediately in his face.
“You look like hell,” she declared. “Aren’t you getting any sleep?”
“I’m getting plenty of sleep,” he assured her. It was just coming in fits and starts since he and Maggie couldn’t seem to keep their hands off each other for more than an hour at a time.
“Where’s Maggie? Does she look as worn-out as you do?”
“Even if she does, I would advise you against commenting on it,” he said.
Nadine rolled her eyes. “Give me some credit. I’m a woman. I’d never tell another woman she’s a mess, unless, of course, it’s someone I’m not overly fond of. So, where is Maggie?”
“I dropped her off at the gallery, as a matter of fact. She has a lot of work to catch up on. She’s going to spend the morning over there, then come by here later.”
“I thought you were supposed to be watching her every second,” Nadine said.
“I had a chat with Detective Ryan. He’s got someone stationed right outside the gallery. Maggie will be fine there for a few hours. She needs a break from me, anyway.”
Nadine grinned. “Oh, really? Having trouble keeping your hands to yourself?”
“Mother!”
“Oh, for goodness’ sake, I know how these things work.”
“Yes, I imagine you do,” he said. “How are things with you and George?”
“I wish you’d stop trying to make something of that,” she said. “George and I are just friends.”
“When have I heard that before?”
“Coming out of your mouth with regard to Maggie,” she retorted. “Though in your case it was a blatant lie.”
“And it’s not in your case?”
“No. George is going to help me find a job, so I can stay here and find a decent place of my own.”
“I thought by now you’d have found some way to suggest moving in with him.”
Nadine looked about to utter a quick denial, but then she shrugged. “In the past, I might have.”
Josh heard something in her voice he’d never heard before—caution. He studied her curiously. “What’s different this time?”
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