The Light Between The Shadows

by Tsukiko Spark

  She sat on him again. She could hear his breathing from under the sheet and felt his body heat. She slowly fondled him through the fabric, lingering on every muscle, curve, and peak. He was perfect for her, an artwork she herself had created from a material called Ben Brattler. She experienced an intense throbbing of the senses.

  She smoothed one hand over the sheet until she reached his erect member under it. She pulled the covering from him and cut a hole with her other hand using the scissors, allowing his member to penetrate the sheet. A cool rubber coat was placed on it. And then the eruptive moment came—when Shira straddled him and put him inside her.

  He melted. So many feelings of joy, love, and happiness culminated into one moment of ultimate acceptance of the other. He wiggled with pleasure under the sheet, while the metallic chiming of cuffs and tight chains could be heard.

  Shira was elated. She continued to gyrate her body in joy. He had never experienced such pleasure in his life. The mutual groaning of desire echoed in the studio as did the squeaking of the bed frame. The world around them melted with lust, heat, and love. It was just the two of them now, left to build an amazing, rich, new world—a paradise for them and for everyone else.

  “Ahh…ahhh… Ahhhhh!” Shira climaxed.

  Yet she kept on moving. Ben thrusted, his gasping and groaning emanating faintly from his gagged mouth. Faster and faster, until finally, “Umm! Ummmmm!” It felt like endless ecstasy.

  And then silence, blessed silence. The quiet of bliss.

  Shira lay on top of him and embraced him while he was still under the covering. He felt the warmth of her body, all he breathed were her breaths, and all he felt, he felt with her. He knew she could feel him too. He never wanted to go back home.

  He was in awe at how alive he felt, how incredible this moment was that he couldn’t share with anyone else but her. He didn’t want the world to see him like that because no one would understand. He wanted to cherish this moment forever.

  Shira removed the sheet, the leg cuffs, and the gag. She covered him with her blanket in her own bed, and Ben…Ben fell asleep, drugged on natural chemicals.

  A NEW BEGINNING

  DAY 1

  It was a new morning, the beginning of summer, and a warm breeze blew into the studio. Ben opened his eyes. He’d slept in Shira’s bed the entire night. He turned to look at her side of the bed, but she had already risen. The memory of the magical night came back to him. He rubbed his eyes and yawned.

  Amazing! He suddenly realized that though he found it hard to move his arms, they were free. He was very happy. He was still dressed in his aikido pants and his collar was hooked to the bed with a chain.

  He tried to open the clasp on the collar, but discovered that it was now secured by a small lock. He chuckled to himself, thinking it was another one of her tricks to keep him in her bed. He sat up, stretching and releasing his arm muscles—it felt so good.

  “Good morning.” Shira showed up a few moments later. “I see you’re quite happy with your new setup.” She smiled.

  “Yes, I’ve been waiting for this for a long time.” He smiled back.

  She was carrying a tray of food. “I made you some breakfast, and there’s a surprise at the end.”

  “A good one, I hope?” he asked half-jokingly.

  “You’ll see.”

  They ate breakfast in bed. Though his arms hurt a little, he used them this time and no longer needed help to eat.

  “Thanks. It was very tasty,” he said. “Now I can show you my skills in the kitchen.”

  “That’s okay,” she said. “As long as you’re my guest, I make the food.”

  “I’m still just a guest even after last night?” He smiled.

  “Not ‘just’ a guest—a beloved, distinguished guest! In a few days, your time here will finally be over.” She handed him a covered bowl for dessert.

  He lifted the cover and found a key inside.

  “You can use it to open the lock on the collar,” she said.

  He picked up the key and examined it. It was a small key for a small lock. “But I thought we shared something extraordinary last night,” he said in frustration.

  “Yes, it was truly amazing. I don’t think I’ve had so much fun in a long time, perhaps never.” She tried to remember.

  “So what’s the problem?” he asked. “Why can’t I stay?”

  “Why would you want to stay? Your treatment is over.”

  “It’s not the treatment.”

  “Then what is it?”

  Ben needed a moment to formulate a logical sentence. “It’s you… I want to stay because of you. I love you!” he blurted out for the first time in his life.

  “Aww, you’re a real sweetheart.” She stroked his face. “But we can’t be together.”

  “Why not?” he asked, still shocked by what he had just said.

  “First of all, it’s not real love. You’ve become attached to me because I’m your caretaker. I took care of you so intimately that you’ve mistaken it for love. Secondly, you’re not my type and we wouldn’t get along. I have fairly intense demands; not everyone can handle them.”

  “I can handle them,” Ben protested. “I proved that to you last night.”

  “It’s not just that,” she said. “It just won’t work!”

  “But… But I really love you!” Ben insisted. “Don’t you have feelings for me too?”

  “Just let it go,” she said evasively. “You’ll feel differently in a few days. You’ll see.” She got up, taking the tray with her.

  Ben looked down at the key he held in his free hand.

  “You’re welcome to shower and freshen up. We have a busy day today,” she called out from the kitchen.

  He opened the lock with the key. He was free. For good.

  ❧

  After Ben showered and freshened up on his own for the first time in three months, he and Shira sat down at the dining table. She brought some paper and writing tools.

  “Ben, you’re free. You can choose to leave now,” she said. “But I suggest you stay for a couple of days so we can accomplish a few more things before you go back to your routine. Once we’re done, you can go back home and get on with your life.” She smiled.

  He nodded but didn’t smile.

  “Okay. So I thought we would make up a list of the things you might want to change, improve, or amend before you go back. Is there anything you would like to amend?”

  He was disheartened, but he listened to her.

  “Ben?”

  “Yes, yes,” he finally said. “I suppose I should ask Fred for forgiveness.”

  “I think that’s a wonderful idea! Have you thought of how you’d like to do it?”

  “Go to his house and talk to him?” Ben wasn’t sure what she meant.

  “Maybe you can make it up to him? Arrange for him to meet Josephine? Or talk to her?” Shira suggested.

  He was confused by all of these ideas.

  “You should think about this in depth. I know you—you can be very creative when you want to. It’s up to you now—I’m here only for support.” She pulled out his cell phone from under her seat. “Here, take this. It can help too. Maybe you can make some calls,” she concluded, and then got up to leave.

  She wanted to give him some time to think things over.

  Ben was left alone in the studio. He examined his phone. It seemed like Shira had kept it charged the whole time. There were ten missed calls: four from Tina, five from Fred, and one from George. They were all from the first days of his “vacation.” There were also two text messages from that time.

  The first was from Fred. “Hey, dude, hope you’re having a blast there. I won’t bug you anymore. Call when you can.”

  The other was from Tina. “Hi Ben. I miss you already. Call me so I don’t think you’ve forgotten
me.”

  As an old habit, he automatically started looking up the latest events in the world through the Internet connection on his cell phone. He hadn’t had any access to the news in three months. Before the treatment, he was hooked to the news and gossip columns like an addict, and now he felt the need to get the latest updates.

  Elections are coming up soon… They discovered a cure for some illness… An airplane disappeared and no one can locate it…

  Ben was so dizzy from the amount of information he had missed that he didn’t know where to begin. His eyes raced across the webpages until they landed on the celebrity news. La Belle Michelle was dating some young actor… They were riding off into the sunset with their skis on some French mountain slope. Ben’s name was mentioned as her ex-boyfriend. He wasn’t stirred by this information, and he didn’t even care about the mentioning of his name. He noticed that his celebrity image was no longer important to him as it had been before the treatment, and all those big headlines seemed meaningless to him now.

  He decided to check the emails in his inbox, and as he was typing his password, something more crucial occurred to him… Perhaps from his incoming emails, he would be able to answer the question that had disturbed him so much when the treatment began—who’d sent him?

  He began to read through the emails with great curiosity.

  An email from George sent a month earlier: “Don’t worry about the project; I’ve handled everything. Keep having fun. Where are you and who are you nailing now?”

  A few confused emails from Michelle. First she said she still wanted him and that he must return from vacation quickly. Then she wrote that she never wanted to see him again. A month later, she wrote, “Maybe I do, mon chéri.” And finally, a formal announcement that she was dating a famous film star and no longer cared about Ben Brattler.

  Tina sent him a few cat videos.

  His father had written to him two weeks earlier, reminding him to try and make it to his mother’s memorial if he was about to return from his vacation.

  And Fred wrote two days ago. Ben tensed up as he read, “Have you ditched your best friend? Don’t worry, I’ll get back at you at our next aikido practice. Have fun. Call me when you’re back.”

  Other than that, there were many messages from publicists wanting Ben to be the star of their next party.

  He felt strange recalling the person he once was, his former life and friends. They all seemed so far away now. Still, he could not deny the strange ambiguity that surrounded him. Fred’s text message and email didn’t show any signs that he was planning to punish him or change their relationship due to the Josephine affair.

  Fred didn’t send me here? Ben wondered. It doesn’t matter who sent me for treatment, he told himself for the first time.

  The only thing that mattered to him now was Shira. All he wished for was for her to love him back. Nothing else was important. He felt as if another layer of himself had dried and peeled off with a faint blast of no importance.

  Shira returned around noon. Ben hadn’t moved from the table. His hands were crossed on the table and his forehead rested on them.

  “Is everything all right?” she asked.

  He lifted his head. A big red mark on his forehead indicated he had been in that position for a long time.

  “Yes. I’m just…resting a little,” he said sleepily.

  She believed he’d had trouble handling her task. “You know, you don’t have to solve everything right away. There’s no pressure here. Why don’t you relax and try again later?” She tried to be supportive. “Would you like some lunch?”

  He nodded, even though he wasn’t hungry. He wanted to be in her company.

  They ate lunch together. Ben still seemed down to her after they finished eating. He remained very passive in his chair, making no effort to move.

  “You should practice some aikido!” she said, sounding very determined.

  Though he was very reluctant, he did as she told him. He performed one solid practice with free hands for the first time in three months. The practice really helped him feel better. Then he freshened up again. All his personal belongings were placed in the bathroom, and he felt right at home. Shira had even folded his clothes and placed them in a small cabinet in the bathroom. After he showered, he picked a white T-shirt and long sweat pants.

  “It’s strange seeing you in a T-shirt.” Shira smiled at him during dinner.

  “Yes, it feels strange to me too. Wait, do you want me to take it off?” he asked when he remembered she preferred him shirtless. “Hmm. Actually, I should keep it on, right?” He held his head when he realized how that sounded.

  Shira laughed.

  Ben laughed too.

  When they finished their meal, Shira invited him to watch a movie with her in the living room. He joined her gladly.

  They sat down on the sofa in front of the TV. She put her head in his lap, pushed the button on the remote, and the movie began.

  The light was dim, and only the TV screen flickered, playing a romantic comedy. He couldn’t understand her or read her gestures. Her soft, fragrant curls spread out in his lap. He stroked her head gently and carefully, praying this moment would last forever.

  Maybe he should just go with the flow and not pressure her, he thought. This idea gave him hope and his heart was joyful again. Though they each went to sleep in their own bed, he was happy.

  DAY 2

  Ben woke up to a wonderful morning. He did his fifty-minute morning workout like old times. Luckily, Shira had a treadmill in the living room. Then he showered, shaved expertly, and dressed comfortably like the previous day. Since he had officially completed his treatment, Shira didn’t see the need to do any guided meditation. She knew he didn’t care much for it. Instead, she was able to do her own morning practice.

  Then she went off to prepare breakfast. He insisted on helping by cutting the vegetables and setting the table. They sat down to eat.

  Ben beamed with happiness. She was glad to see him that way.

  “I know how I want to apologize to Fred,” he told her.

  “Great. Would you like me to help in any way?”

  “There’s no need. I have it all in my head. I need the morning to take care of things, and then I will drive to his house and talk to him in the evening,” he said confidently.

  “Okay, but I insist on driving you there.” She felt his arms were not in perfect shape yet, and she didn’t want that to discourage him from doing it.

  He thought it was very nice of her to offer her help, and he agreed.

  “Very well. We’re coming along. I’ll leave the house and be out of your way until noon. I have some errands to run in the city anyway.”

  They finished their meal, and he helped her wash the dishes and put them away. She got ready and left. He stayed behind to plan a grand apology with a proper compensation for Fred.

  Shira returned at noon. Ben was excited by what he had managed to accomplish and was looking forward to meeting his good friend. They ate a nice meal, followed by an aikido practice for Ben. Shira noticed that his arms were functioning well.

  In the evening, he got ready, showered, and changed into a suit he had in his suitcase. She got ready in the living room, and they left together in her car. She drove and he enjoyed the time spent with her.

  ❧

  They reached Fred’s home. Shira parked far from the entrance and waited in the car. Ben went over to the house and knocked on the door.

  “Just a minute,” a voice on the other side of the door said.

  Fred opened the door, still in his work suit. He was surprised to see Ben on his doorstep. “Ben! What a pleasant surprise! Come in, come in.” He motioned his friend inside.

  “Did you land today? I couldn’t keep up with your flight schedule. Shira tried to explain it to me, but I didn’t get it,” he said in a sill
y tone.

  Ben smiled. His Shira sure was sneaky.

  “Yes, I changed the flights a little,” he said, defending his beloved.

  “I tried to call you to ask how you were, how the date with Shira went, and what’s going on with you. I’m guessing you had a great time and didn’t have time to return my call.” He knew his friend well, so he didn’t take it hard when Ben didn’t return his messages. “Time sure flew. I didn’t notice it’s been… How long has it been?” Fred asked.

  “About three months.”

  “All in all, I’ll bet it was good for you. Obviously you had time to enjoy yourself and relax… You took the last incidents at the office a little too hard.” Fred said.

  “Fred, you’re a really good friend.”

  “Thanks, you’re a pretty good friend yourself. You always take care of me, right?” Fred said with a big smile.

  “Right,” Ben answered. He found it hard to bring up the topic of conversation he wanted to discuss. “Listen…I came here today to apologize to you,” he began.

  “You have nothing to apologize for. I know you, you’re a good friend. Sometimes you act like a jerk, but you always remain a good friend,” he said with an even bigger smile.

  “I insist,” Ben said. “I want to apologize to you for what happened with Josephine.”

  “Ben, I closed that door and I’m not interested in going back there. Your apology is accepted, and now you can drop it.” His friend’s smile turned serious.

  “Let me speak. I came here to say something really important!”

  “I don’t want to hear it.”

  “Fred, I beg you…”

  Fred had never seen Ben beg before.

  “You don’t have to apologize. I thought about it a great deal. You wanted me to see Josephine for who she is, and I guess that was the only way you could do that. Yes, it was hard at first, and I was mad at you. But now I understand that it was your way of looking out for me. Let’s get on with our lives and not discuss this matter any further, okay?”

  “I lied to you about Josephine!” Ben raised his voice so that his friend would hear him and stop interrupting him.