by B. E. Laine
He relaxes. “Okay, I’m sorry to have bothered you, Karaline.” Well, I feel like a total bitch now.
He straightens to walk away. I put my hand on his arm before I realize what I have done. There is that feeling again. It’s like a drug, I can’t get enough. I have never felt this before. I know I should stay away …
He looks at me when I say, “No, it’s fine. I’m sorry for being a bitch. You were just being nice.”
I don’t move my hand when his other comes up to cup my face. His face has this soft but dead serious look, and his voice is the same. “It’s fine. Just don’t ever call yourself a bitch again, ‘kay sweetheart?”
Oh, butterflies. It feels as if we’re the only two people in this crowd. He’s slowly knocking down the walls …
I go to look down, but he takes the hand cupping my check and tips my chin back up. “Look at me, please.”
We stand there, staring into each other’s eyes. Everyone around us is as oblivious to us as we are to them. There is something there that draws me in; I could stare into those eyes forever. My instincts are still telling me to stay away, but for a totally different reason. I feel safe being close to him, but I don’t want to fall. I know what happens then. I tried it once and it ended badly. I’m not the same normal girl that I was before. I can’t just date a guy because, when he gets to close, the memories from the past come back. So I should just save both of us the heartbreak, but it’s hard fighting these feelings.
It felt like forever that we stared into each other’s eyes. It would have been one of those awkward silences with anyone else, but it wasn’t with him. Then he broke the silence. “Would you like to go grab a bite to eat?” He looks hopefully into my eyes.
Holy crap! Did he just ask me out? “Um … I’m sorry, but I don’t know you very well. I don’t go out with strangers. Plus, I came here with Lauren.” I hate what I’m saying because I really want to go. I know he is a good guy, but I just can’t. The thought of being alone with a guy makes me shudder, and not knowing the guy makes me sick.
It doesn’t matter how long you know someone, they can change in a heartbeat.
Just then, Lauren comes dancing up. “Go have fun, Kara! It’s fine, don’t worry about me! My daddy’s car is going to take me home.” She says, as she waves her hand dismissively in the air.
I give her this look that I’m sure says it all. She leans in and whispers, “It’s fine, Kara. I know him and he’s nice! Go!”
I look back up at him, then wish I hadn’t because the look on his face looks almost too hopeful. I have too soft of a heart and I know it. It’s the reason I get myself into the majority of shit that I do. “Fine. Okay, if you can take me back to the dorms after?” That was important because for one, I came with Lauren, and two, I don’t know my way around this city very well. My warning bells go off again. What the hell am I thinking going into a city that I don’t know with a guy that I don’t know? True, he does not feel like just any guy to me, but still. I know I shouldn’t go, but something is telling me it is okay.
“Of course,” he says, trying to hide that flawless smile of his.
I took my sweet time finishing my drink so I could pull myself together before I go to eat with him. As I walk out of the club, he puts his hand on the small of my back, protectively. Who am I kidding? He doesn’t see me that way. I have been his charity case all night; I’m sure he doesn’t want to have another confrontation tonight. As we make our way to the door, he stops and looks at me. Being as self-conscious as I am, I start looking down at my dress, thinking something is wrong with me. When I look back up and meet his eyes, he’s amused.
“What?” I ask, confused.
He leans in really close. I tell myself that it’s because we are still in the club and I probably couldn’t have heard him otherwise. I can feel his hot breath on my neck, as he sternly whispers, “Stop. There’s nothing wrong with you. I was going to ask if you had a coat.”
Well, now I feel like an idiot. If I had been paying attention, I would have noticed that we had walked up to the coat guy from earlier. I feel as if I have lost my mind tonight. I turn to see the coat guy staring at me. “Do you have your ticket, ma’am?” he says, impatiently.
“I’m sorry, no, I didn’t receive one,” I say, trying to remember if they gave me one. Maybe I had more drinks than I thought.
Lights from inside the club flash on my face, and the coat guy looks embarrassed. “Oh! I’m so sorry, ma’am. You came in with Mr. Harris’s daughter, right?”
“Lauren Harris, yes.”
“Okay, let me get your coat, ma’am. I’m sorry again.” Why is he apologizing to me? Does he really think I expect him to remember me from all the other people that came in here tonight? Crazy!
“It’s fine, really,” I mumble, looking back at Drew. He is quietly watching me, while the nervous coat guy leaves to go retrieve my coat. There should be awkward silence, but there’s not. I feel comfortable. When I look into his eyes, there is no need for words because our eyes say it all.
“Here you go, ma’am.” The coat guy is trying to put my coat on me, but he is shaking and can’t quite find the right hole for the right arm.
“Oh, thank-you,” I said, but before he can put it on, Drew takes it out of his hands and puts it on me with ease.
“Ready?” he asks, ignoring the coat guy.
“Yup.” Oh, my gosh! Yup? Did I really just say that? He starts walking, shaking his head with a slight smile playing on his lips. Great, he’s laughing at me now. I am still amazed he asked me to go get something to eat with him. Now I’m really thinking he either does just feel sorry for me, or he just did it to get a laugh.
I stay quiet as we walk outside. I’m glad I brought a coat because it got cool. He leads me around the building where Lauren and I were parked before her dad had the car sent back to the dorms. About three cars back sits an all blacked-out Challenger. I’m not keen on cars, but I know a good looking car when I see one. He stops and digs in his pocket for his keys.
“This is your car?” I was shocked. He really did look my age, maybe a couple years older. How can he afford this? Not any of my business. His parents could be loaded for all I know.
He looks up at me through those black eyelashes, and gives me one of those great smiles. “No, sweetheart, she … is my baby,” he says, as he pats the hood of the car.
Damn, not a guy that’s all about his car. “She?” I say, raising my eyebrows at him.
He shakes his head and opens my door. I carefully climb in, remembering that I have this freaking short dress on. Reminder: kill Lauren later! He gracefully walks around the front of the car, looks up and catches me staring. I look down real fast. He is going to think I am some kind of freak. He climbs into the driver’s seat, wearing the biggest smile ever.
I just sit there quietly, while he starts the car. As I feel the vibrations, I can’t help but think how hot this car is. Then a rock song starts to blast, and I actually know this song. I smile as he reaches for the knob to turn it down.
Looking at me sheepishly, he says, “Sorry. I get a little carried away when I drive alone.”
That intrigued me; I hadn’t realized that he was alone tonight. “Why would you go out on a Friday night alone?”
He looked taken back by my question. “I met a couple of friends there. Why?”
“Sorry, I’m being nosy.” I turn my head to look out the window.
He checks his mirrors and pulls out onto the road. He’s really quiet. Crap, I hope I haven’t already ruined tonight with my big mouth. The music playing in the background was another song I loved. “Saving Abel?” I say, turning to look at him.
I take advantage to check him out again. His strong jaw pairs perfectly with the cute little dimple in his chin. How can a guy be so tanned? Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining! His nose looks like it might have been broken at one time, but it still looks good. His sexy mouth turns up into a smirk as he says, “You know Saving Abel?”
“Yes, I like them. Why?”
“I just wouldn’t have pegged you for this kind of music, that’s all.” I wonder what he means by that.
“What would you have pegged me for then?”
“Oh, you know, either the girly stuff or that rap shit they were playing in the club.” I give him a look that says, You should know better than that. He laughs. “I knew you were different.”
“Different?”
“Not in a bad way. Don’t worry.”
“Okay …,” I say, skeptically.
I stare out the window, trying to distract myself from staring at him again. Another good song comes on so I start humming to it. It’s a bad habit of mine.
Not being able to be quiet any longer, I think the alcohol has given me some balls, I ask, “Where are you taking me?”
He glances at me. “Surprise.” I was waiting for more, but that’s all he says. Fine, I can play that game, too.
I start looking around the car, giving my eyes something to do besides stare at him. It has his smell. It is really clean for a … wait, I don’t even know how old he is! I am going to eat at midnight with a guy that I met at a club? One night and I’m doing something I would have done before … that night.
Ten more minutes pass by. I have no clue as to where we are now. Maybe I should have been paying attention in case I needed an escape route. It is getting close to one in the morning and I don’t have a clue what will be open. Then, we pull into an IHOP.
I’m trying to hide a smile as I look at him. “IHOP, really? That’s the big surprise?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “Sorry, it’s the best I can do at one in the morning. Next time, maybe I’ll have longer to plan a better surprise.” Next time?! He just practically said we would be going out again.
Seeing the look on my face, he backtracks. “Well, that is if … you know … you want to, of course,” he manages to spit out. This is a new side of him; he’s been supremely confident all night.
I smile and say, “We’ll see …,” as I go to climb out of the car.
I didn’t make it too far before he grabs my hand, making me stop dead in my tracks. Not from him, but from the feeling of his hand on me. It’s almost paralyzing. “You better let me come and help you this time,” he says, his confident self again. He winks and releases my hand, as he climbs out of the car. I’m still sitting there, frozen. Great, he obviously isn’t going to let that one go.
My door opens and I look up at him as he extends his hand to me. “Miss Karaline.” I take his hand and, as gracefully as I can, climb out. As we make our way inside, his hand finds the small of my back again. His touch sends electricity through me. It’s just the alcohol, I keep telling myself.
We make our way inside and are seated. I order water with lemon, thinking I probably need to sober up a little. I don’t even look up at him while ordering because I have to remind myself that I have a dress on. I’m not used to wearing these things. They suck! As I am fidgeting with the bottom on my dress, making sure I won’t show my ass when I stand, I notice Drew shaking his head and smiling.
“What is so funny?” I ask, curious as to what I did this time.
Smirking, he looks at me and says, “Oh, nothing. Just the waiter checking you out.”
Huh? I didn’t even see what he looked like. I was just trying to make sure I didn’t trip or do something to embarrass myself. “Oh, I didn’t notice him,” I say back.
“Yeah, that’s what I’m laughing at. That makes three … the preppy dick, the coat guy, and now the waiter at IHOP,” he says, smiling.
Man, he is gorgeous. His smile can make me melt, and his raspy voice makes me squirm in my seat. I hope he doesn’t notice but, by the look on his face, he did. The last time a guy could make me feel this way … he was the total opposite of the guy sitting in front of me. The guy sitting in front of me seems like a good guy, even though other people look at his appearance and think otherwise. His tattoos and bad boy look aren’t going to fool me. The person who made me the way I am today was the good boy in school, perfect all-star. He had everyone fooled with his charm, and Drew has been nothing but … real.
He gives me this look, and I realize he is waiting for me to say something back. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. How many did you have tonight?”
He really laughs then. “You really are oblivious,” he says, still giving me his hundred watt smile. I start to think I could get used to looking at that. Wait, what am I saying? I can’t get attached this soon. I don’t even know what his intentions are. Intentions? Am I crazy? He only felt sorry for me. There is no way that this insanely sexy as hell guy could want me. Boring ol’ brown hair, brown eyes, but why would he notice other guys looking at me? I need to find out what he is expecting from this because I’m not one for one-night stands.
“Why did you ask me to come eat with you?” I ask, curious.
He scrunches his forehead together, giving me a look like he is trying to get inside me. I really don’t like it. I don’t like when people try to get inside me and figure me out. I am too complicated, and I want to tell him it’s not worth his time.
“Okay, change of subject. Well, first was because I didn’t think that you and your friend could make it home okay. After I realized that y’all had a safe way back, I had to figure out a way to get to know you better. Also, before you ask, I didn’t ask you to come so I could get into your pants. Like I said, you’re different and I like it.”
I stare back at him. I’m shocked because no one has ever been that up front and honest with me before. It’s … nice. I can tell he is not bullshitting me because he stares into my eyes when he talks. He does not act like he is hiding anything. After everything that I’ve been through, learning how to read someone has become a bad habit of mine. I try to pick them apart before they have the chance to pick at me. It keeps me at a safe distance, and is a way to make sure that I don’t get hurt again.
“Oh.” Is all I could think of to say to that? “Thanks for being honest.”
He just nods, and the waiter comes back to take our order. Then, I do notice that he is very smiley and being extra nice to me. So I look down at my menu and hope I don’t give the impression that I’m interested. I’m not interested in a guy at all right now. I look up at Drew as he orders, and want to rethink my whole position. I could just sit and admire him all day. He turns to looks at me, and he catches me staring. Oops, it’s my turn to order.
“Um … I’ll just have a small order of pancakes, please. Oh, and an order of bacon, thanks.” I hand my menu back over to the waiter.
He walks off and I look up at Drew to find him staring at me. At least I’m not the only one staring. He has his eyebrows raised, making his forehead wrinkle. How can he make that hot? “What?” I ask.
“Nothing, I just didn’t expect you to order that.”
“It seems that I don’t do or like anything you expect.”
“Nope, seems like you don’t. You are full of surprises yourself, I see,” he said.
He looks all relaxed, leaning back and crossing his arms. My eyes start to wander to his broad shoulders, down to the short sleeves on his black shirt stretched tight over his perfectly defined muscles. Then there are the tattoos. He has what looks like a tribal coming out of his left sleeve, while his right forearm is maybe sporting a quote, but I can’t tell what it says. If you look at my past boyfriends, you’d never think I’d be attracted to somebody that looks like this. Why am I comparing him to my past boyfriends? We’re just eating.
“Maybe.” I sat giving him a small, sweet smile. Wait, are we flirting? I don’t think I would even know how to do that anymore.
“Well, I can’t wait to find out what else your hiding,” he said, winking at me with a smile covering his face.
I blush and look down at … what? I don’t know, but I know I can’t watch him break down the walls. I can feel myself wanting him, wanting to fall, but I can’t let myself. I wouldn’t have anyone t
o pick up the pieces, not like I did before. I know I can’t do it alone again; it would break me for good.
“Don’t hide. Look at me,” he says, with a voice that makes me instantly obey.
I look up to find a face that I can’t read, and it scares the living shit out of me. There was a second where I thought I saw sadness in his face, but that was gone the moment I locked eyes with him. We sit and stare at each other, until the waiter breaks the spell and brings our food. We eat in silence, just sharing looks the rest of the meal.
I tell him I can pay for my meal. He slowly looks at me and gives me a look that says I better not even think about it. So I dropped it. We walk to his car and he opens the door for me. His hand grazes my arm and it gave me chills all over.
He starts the car and turns to look at me. He just sits there, not making a move to leave. Puzzled, I ask, “What now?”
He chuckles. “You have to tell me where you live, sweetheart.”
“Oh … um …” I look around. I don’t even know where we are. I hope he knows where the college is because I don’t know the address, either. “Do you know where UT is?”
He scrunches his eyebrows together. “Please tell me you know where it is and how to get there.”
“No,” I say in a small voice, hanging my head. This is embarrassing.
“Karaline, you seriously just went and ate with a stranger, and you don’t even know how to get back to your dorm room? I could have been some serial rapist for all you know.” He sounded irritated.
Rapist? Oh, my god. One word, and it all comes back. Aaron laughed at me when I told him I was raped. He told me that I was lying and I probably asked for it because I was a whore. That was the only time I had ever said the word “raped”. I refused to believe that was what happened, even though I knew that it was.
My hands started to shake, my breathing accelerated. I think I’m having a panic attack. Everything around me is a blur. To think I could be so stupid as to get in a car with a stranger after what happened to me with someone I knew! How stupid can I be?