Rain's Theory

by K. C. Mills

  When my phone finally started ringing, I couldn’t control my smile. I was happy as hell that I was alone or my ass would have lost all kinds of cool points for that shit, but I didn’t care. It was worth it. Rain was worth it.

  -3-

  Rain

  “What you working one?” Theory asked as soon as I answered.

  “Huh?” He let out a muffled laugh likely because I sounded confused.

  “You said you were up working, what are you working on?”

  “Oh, just going over some shots and my layouts.” I forget that Theory had no idea about my life.

  “What do you do?”

  “I’m a photographer for Urban Pride,” I said proudly. Hell, I was proud. At twenty-two, I was one of the youngest employees for Urban Pride and my job was damn near one of the most important. I created the vibe of the magazine for its print edition as well as its electronic copies. My pictures were basically the voice of Atlanta.

  “Damn Rain, I knew your ass was gonna be big shit one day.” I could hear the excitement in Theory’s voice and it made me even more proud. His opinion was everything to me. It was like making an adorning parent proud and since I didn’t have that, Theory was the only person who I looked to please.

  “It’s not that big of a deal. It’s just a job,” I said attempting to downplay it.

  “Nah, don’t do that shit. Urban Pride is a big deal Rain. You got celebrities all around the world who kill to be a part of that. You know that the A is where it’s at and Urban Pride is basically the voice of the A. Can a nigga get a page?” Theory said and then laughed.

  “It doesn’t work like that, but I’ll see what I can do,” I said jokingly.

  “Hell, I’ll take half a page… nah, fuck that, you can give my ass just a corner as long as I’m up in that bitch,” Theory said.

  “You’re stupid Thee.”

  He was quiet for a minute before he spoke again. “I miss hearing that.”

  “Everybody calls you that. I’m sure you hear it all the time,” I said remembering that his homeboy called him that at Marty’s the other day.

  “True, but there’s just something about the way you say it.”

  “Yeah, I bet. I’m sure you have plenty of women saying it to you all the time,” I said.

  He laughed arrogantly. “Maybe, but it’s still not the same. Never will be.”

  “There’s nothing special about the way I-”

  Theory cut me off with a deep raspy laugh. “What about you? That nigga knows you up talking to me?”

  “He’s sleep and no he doesn’t.” Talking about Jamel to Theory felt awkward. He always had women, so me calling him out on his situations was normal, but I never had men. I had plenty trying but it just wasn’t my thing.

  “So what’s your deal anyway? Y’all serious?”

  I wasn’t going to answer that; honestly, I really couldn’t.

  “It’s late and I still have a lot of work to do, so can we meet up tomorrow?”

  “He gonna be okay with that?” Theory asked, because I ignored his question about me and Mel being serious.

  “Let me worry about that and you worry about finding us a place to chill where you haven’t screwed every female that worked there.

  That made Theory really laugh. “I think I can handle that.”

  “Good,” was all I said.

  “Rain?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You still love me?” Because I knew Theory, I understood that his question was not as simple as it appeared. There was so many underlying questions hidden beneath it that he wanted answers to.

  “Always, you know that will never change,” I said meaning every word.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow,” was all he said and with that, we ended our call. I left my desk where I had been sitting and stretched out on the sofa with Theory on my mind. His face was so clear in my head that I felt like he was right there next to me.

  I felt a sense of loyalty to Theory that I knew that I would never feel for Jamel, but I still felt like I owed Mel something. Jamel loved me, had been by my side for the past two years supporting me, and I had been disloyal to him by loving another man every night that I laid next to him.

  The fact that Jamel was thinking about our future way more than I was, made things worse. I looked around our one-bedroom apartment thinking about his so-called good news. He had gotten a promotion at the law firm he was working at, which would allow us to move out of this tiny apartment to a house that he wanted us to shop for together. Problem was that he’s trying to make our future more permanent, and I was trying to figure out a way to end it.

  I couldn’t get focused on work again with so much on my mind; so instead, I got comfy on the couch, excited about the idea of seeing Theory. I couldn’t wait to be around him again.

  I kept checking myself in the mirror as I stood in the private bathroom of my office building, trying to make sure I looked my best. I tucked my freshly straightened hair behind my ear, while one side covered half of my face as it brushed my shoulders. I was in skinny jeans and a boyfriend tee, not wanting Theory to feel like I put too much into my appearance. I kept it extremely causal, all the way down to my charcoal gray Converse that matched my t-shirt.

  Once I was satisfied, I unlocked the bathroom door and stepped into the hallway almost running right into one of the writers for the magazine. She and I had gotten pretty tight, but I didn’t really do friendships, and especially not with females so we really didn’t hang out much. Growing up in foster care made it really hard to trust people, and I had become comfortable with being a loner but Diamond was a cool chick. So, we’d hit the club from time to time if we were working on stories, and she always picked me as her photographer for whatever assignments she was working on.

  “Damn boo, I almost didn’t recognize you without the lion’s mane. I see you rocking it straight today,” she said as she reached for my hair and ran hear fingers through it.

  “Yeah, just switching it up, I guess.”

  “It’s sexy boo. I’m not used to that on you. You’re usually so low key,” she said with a grin. “You and Jamel got a hot date?”

  “Nah, just meeting up with an old friend,” I said.

  “This old friend must be pretty important because you looking mighty sexy,” she said with a smirk.

  “Dia, chill, I’m rocking jeans, a t-shirt and Converse. How the hell is that sexy?” I said with a frown.

  “It’s the hair girl. Changes everything about you. You might as well be in a thong and heels.”

  “Oh my God, you are tripping, but I’ll holla at you tomorrow. I have to go.”

  “Alright boo, but I want details about this reunion when you get here tomorrow. We have the shoot for Loyalty’s new artist and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do tonight. Well… never mind, scratch that. That leaves you too much wiggle room. Just behave,” she said and then winked at me before she took off down the hall and rounded the corner.

  I jumped on the elevator and shook my head thinking about Diamond. She was always over the top, but she had me questioning my appearance. When I walked through the lobby, I spoke to Dan who ran the security desk and made my way to the front doors. I couldn’t help but smile when I looked through the revolving glass doors, to see Theory parked out in front of my building leaning against a silver Range Rover, looking sexy as ever. He was wearing jeans, a navy polo with a matching navy hat and wheat Timbs. I tried to contain my smile as his eyes met mine, but I knew I was failing miserably.

  The second I was on the sidewalk, he approached me, placing one around my waist and pulling me into his body before he pecked me on the lips. Theory stood there for a minute just looking at me with that intense stare of his before he finally let me go and stepped back.

  “You ready?” he asked with a smirk, before he walked over to the passenger door of what I assumed was his truck, and opened it. He waited for me to get in before he shut it and moved to the driver’s side and climbed in.
r />   I watched as Theory held onto the steering wheel for a minute while checking me for a few seconds before he actually started his truck.

  “I like your hair like that,” he said as he pulled out into traffic.

  “Thank you,” I replied, watching him as he drove. “Where we going?” I asked since he hadn’t mentioned it yet.

  “You’ll see when we get there.” He glanced at me with a cocky grin before he focused on the road again. We drove for about twenty minutes in comfortable silence before Theory pulled up to a gated community. He waved at the guard who opened the gate to let us in, and then drove another half mile to the back of the neighborhood, where he finally pulled up to the most beautiful house I had ever seen. It was huge; all brick, with perfectly manicured lawns and matching shrubs.

  “Whose house is this?” I asked looking at him confused, after he parked and reached for his door handle.

  “Mine,” he said and then got out. He was on his way to open my door, but I had already grabbed the handle and had my feet on the ground before he made it to me, so he took my hand and led me up the stairs to his front porch.

  “You live here?” I asked still not believing him. This house was beautiful and so not his style. Theory was a street guy, and this house and neighborhood were way to suburbia for him.

  “Yeah why, a nigga like me can’t have nice shit, Rain?” He asked with a smirk as he keyed a code to open the door and waited for me to step in. Once I was inside he was right behind me shutting and locking the door.

  I looked around at the natural wood pillars and marble floors. There was a winding staircase with natural wood rails and everything just flowed. The pictures on the walls were warm and earthy colors, and the furniture matched. Everything was decorated in shades of browns and burgundies, with natural wood accents. I had to admit whoever decorated the place knew what they were doing. It was calming and immediately made you feel relaxed, not like most expensive homes that were decorated in all white, with polished brass and gold features everywhere.

  “No, I’m not saying that. It’s just not how I ever pictured you living.” I said truthfully.

  “Yeah, well this is me,” he said.

  I followed as he led the way to an equally beautiful kitchen. It was huge with stainless steel appliances, charcoal gray marble countertops and dark wood cabinets. It was spotless which I expected since I didn’t figure Theory for the cooking type, but after learning that he lived here, I suppose anything was possible.

  “So in the entire city of Atlanta you couldn’t find one place for us to go where you hadn't screwed someone that worked there,” I said with a smirk.

  He burst out laughing. “Nah, it’s not like that. I just wanted uninterrupted time with you so I figured we could chill here. You cool with that?”

  “Are you still going to feed me?” I asked.

  “Yeah, we can order something or I can cook,” he said with the most serious expression.

  “Cook, you cook?”

  “Hell no, I was just fucking with you. Some shit hasn’t changed, but I can order my ass off.” He walked pasted me to the cabinet and grabbed a handful of menus.

  “Pick what you want and I’ll be right back.” I sat on the counter and began going through the menus. After deciding on pizza, I left the kitchen and began roaming around the house, curious about what the rest looked like. I found the theater room which was painted red and black, with six alternating oversized leather theater chairs and a black leather sectional sofa. I also found the indoor basketball court which was also painted red and black to match the theater room, and the living room which was decorated in chocolate suede sofas, a mahogany wood table, and multicolored candles lined the walls and tables. There was, of course, a TV that had to be at least eighty inches hanging over the fireplace.

  “You like it?” Theory's voice filled the room like thunder and startled me.

  “Did you decorate?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “Hmm, you sure about that?” I asked. Most men didn’t really pay attention to detail like women did.

  “Yes Rain.”

  I shrugged, “Just checking.”

  Theory laughed. “I live here, don’t I? Why the fuck wouldn’t I decorate it.”

  “It’s just nice.”

  “Damn Rain, you’re really starting to hurt my feelings with that shit,” Theory said, as he stepped closer to me so that we were inches apart but not touching. I could smell his cologne as he stood behind me, and I was enticed with the idea of him touching me, but he simply walked away heading towards the kitchen.

  “What are we eating?” he asked without looking back to see if I was behind him.

  “Pizza,” I yelled from his living room.

  I heard a muffled conversation and then he was in the living room with me again.

  “Should be here soon. Come on.”

  He reached for my hand leading me into the theater room where he fell into one of the theater chairs, so I occupied the one next to him, kicked off my Converse and pulled my knees into my chest before letting them fall to the side. He picked up the remotes turning on the screen, before tossing it to me and then folding one arm behind his head.

  I searched Netflix until I found a movie and then dropped the remote in my lap.

  “So what’s up Rain, tell me what I missed over the past six years?” Theory glanced at me and then focused on the screen again.

  “There’s not much to tell. I graduated from high school, went to college, got a job with Urban Pride and now I’m here.”

  Theory faced me and just stared into my eyes like he was waiting for something, and then finally spoke.

  “You know me right?” he asked with the most serious expression.

  “I’d like to think I do,” I said, trying to figure out where he was going with that.

  “Then you know I’m proud as fuck about all of that, but my question was more about this nigga you’re fucking,” he said and then turned back to face the screen again.

  I had to laugh because not much about him had changed either. He never had a problem speaking his mind, which was one of the things I loved most about him. With Theory, what you see is what you get.

  “We’re just together, I guess. It’s kind of hard to explain.”

  “He knows your heart belongs to me and it’s just a matter of time before you kick his ass to the curb.” Theory wasn’t looking at me, but his voice was cocky and confident. He meant every word he spoke.

  “What makes you so sure about that?” I asked.

  Theory’s arrogant ass just laughed, before he looked at me with a smirk that told me everything he was thinking, but not a word escaped his lips. He just turned back to the screen and we sat there in silence until the pizza arrived.

  We ate in the kitchen with me sitting on the island in his kitchen while he sat on the counter across from me. We didn’t really talk about much and there was more eye contact than conversation, but it was a comfortable silence like we didn’t need words to communicate. The way we looked at each other said more than any words that could be spoken. He missed my presence in his life the same way I missed his in mine. I knew that he was right about Jamel, it was just a matter of time before I would finally admit to him that he didn’t have my heart; never had and never would.

  “It’s late… I better get going,” I said looking down at my phone to check the time.

  “What if I don’t want you to leave?”

  “I can’t stay Thee, not right now anyway. It’s not fair to-”

  “Don’t let that bullshit come out your mouth Rain, because you know I don’t give a fuck about that nigga. Hell, give me your phone, I’ll call his ass and tell him you’re not coming home at all.” I could tell from the tension in Theory’s body that he was serious, but I wasn’t that person. I couldn’t do that to Mel. It was bad enough I had been lying to him for years making him think that he ever had a chance to for me to really love him.

  “I’m sorry, but I just ne
ed a minute to figure things out and besides, I know that you have situations that you need to handle too. I’m not stupid Thee, there’s no way that you’re not involved with somebody,” I said fishing, for confirmation about what I already knew to be true.

  He laughed like my statement amused him. “I do what the fuck I want Rain, always have and always will. You know that.”

  “Yeah I do, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’ve been out of your life for six years, so I know that there’s somebody who will have an issue with our reunion.”

  “Tell yourself whatever you need to in order to justify that bullshit your caught up in, but I’ll let you go for now. I don’t want to have to kill that nigga for coming at you wrong but trust me when I say, there won’t be too many more times where you leave me to go lay up with another muthafucka. And believe me, this shit ain't about him, it’s about you. That’s the only reason why I’m gonna fall back for a minute.”

  Theory’s expression grew serious and I could tell that he wasn’t happy about me leaving but he was dealing with it out of respect for me. I jumped down off the counter and he followed but he stepped so close to me that I could feel the heat radiating off his body. He leaned in like he was about to kiss me but then bypassed my lips and let his graze my cheek before he whispered in my ear.

  “Don’t fuck that nigga tonight.” And with that he stepped back, lifted the glass he had been drinking from and finished off the remainder of his drink.

  I collected my things and after a hug that had me wanting to stay, Theory and I were in his Range en route to my office so that I could pick up my car. The entire time, I kept thinking about Theory and would steal glances at him as he maneuvered through traffic, but he didn’t look at me. He kept his eyes on the road and when we finally reached my office, he turned to me and smiled.

  “I’m giving you time Rain, but don’t think that I’m waiting forever. It’s been too long already and I want what’s mine.” He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek before I pulled the handle to get out. He waited for me to get in my car and when I was in the driver’s seat with the ignition started, he pulled off.