by K. C. Mills
“Now that shit is funny as fuck and I can guarantee that will never happen, but if you’re game, then we can work something out,” I said knowing that once I dicked her down, her mind would quickly change about her ability to walk away.
“Deal,” she held her hand out for me to shake. “What’s your name?” she asked as her hand hung in the air waiting.
“Theory,” I said as I accepted her hand.
“Deal, Theory,” she said with a big ass grin.
I had been in this same situation too many times before, so I knew how it was going to end, but since she claimed to be a big girl and could handle it, then who was I to deny her. I just hoped she meant what she said and could walk away when it was all said and done.
Just as we sealed the deal with a handshake, I finally laid eyes on Rain who was on the dance floor with the girl she was with earlier, and she looked like she was arguing with some dude. I knew I was out of place but that shit had me heated, so I stood to go see what the fuck was going on.
“Yo, chill here for a minute and I’ll be back. I need to go see about a friend,” I said not wanting to ruin my plans with Monica.
Her dumb ass was too giddy to realize what was going down, so she nodded and ordered another drink. I left VIP ready to go fuck some shit up.
-5-
Rain
“Um, you need to let her go,” Diamond said, as she took ahold of my arm trying to free me from the asshole that was trying to stake claim to me, simply because we shared one dance.
“You need to back the fuck up and mind your business,” he said, as he tightened his hold on my wrist. We had been at Soul doing a piece on Loyalty’s new artist, and after I saw Theory in VIP basically fucking some bitch right in front of everybody, I decided to say fuck him and just enjoy the rest of my night. Diamond and I downed a few drinks and had basically been dancing for the last hour. Now this asshole was trying to force me to leave with him after one fucking dance.
“Look dumb ass, you had your one dance, that shit is over. Let her go before I go find security and get you put out of here.”
“Look bitch, didn’t I tell you that this was none of your bus-”
Before he could finish his sentence, Theory came from out of nowhere and rocked the shit out of dude. He hit him so hard that dude landed a few feet away and hit the floor, as the people on the dance floor parted ways so that he wouldn't land on them. In one swift motion, Theory pulled a gun out of his jeans and had it under dude’s chins.
“You see her right there? She’s my fucking business, so if you like breathing, which I’m sure you do because that shit is essential to life, then I suggest you take your punk ass and get the fuck outta here like right now. Are we clear?”
“My bad Theory, I didn’t know she was with you. We’re good bruh. I was just leaving.”
I looked down as Theory held his gun on dude and couldn't believe what was happening. First of all, he had no right defending me after he was with some bitch hours ago, where the fuck was she and second of all, why the hell was he so comfortable pulling a gun out in this crowded club, not worried about anybody saying anything to him. Dude got up, adjusted his clothes and then left the dance floor without so much as looking in my direction.
Diamond looked at me confused and I was just as confused as she was, but it was short lived because Theory grabbed my arm and yanked me off the dance floor. The crowd went right back to doing their thing like nothing had ever happened.
As Theory pulled me to a corner of the club, I looked over my shoulder and Diamond was right behind us but she kept her distance, even after he finally stopped.
“What the fuck was that?” I yelled snatching my arm away from him.
“That was your little ass about to get drug up outta here and probably raped. So you’re welcome.”
“I don’t need you saving me, Theory.”
He laughed. “Oh yeah, well that’s not what it looked like. The fuck you doing in here anyway?”
“I’m covering the release for work, but actually that’s none of your damn business, is it?”
“Don’t be cute Rain,” he said calmly not affected by my hostility. “Where the fuck is your weak ass man at anyway? Shouldn’t he be here to make sure shit like that doesn't happen?” Theory waved his hand towards that dance floor as if trying to signal about what had just gone down.
“He’s at home. He doesn't do clubs and I’m working anyway.”
Theory looked at me with a cocky ass grin. “At home, he doesn’t do clubs, the fuck Rain. What type of nigga you dealing with?”
“One that doesn’t fuck other bitches in public places, so if you’re done minding my business, then you can get back to whatever the fuck you were doing before you decided to play bodyguard.”
“Yo, chill with that bullshit, I wasn’t fucking anybody. I was-”
I stopped him right there. I was too pissed to care and not really in the mood to discuss it. How the hell did he feel the need to tell me not to be with my man, when he was damn near fucking some bitch out in the open, in a club? Maybe Theory had changed, because the Theory I knew would never disrespect me like that.
“Don’t. Don’t even waste your breath to tell me a lie. Good night Theory, enjoy, I’m out.”
I turned to walk away and could hear him calling my name, but I kept moving and he didn’t come after me and at the moment, I really didn’t care. All I wanted to do was go home and go to sleep.
“You wanna talk about it?” Diamond asked as we left the club.
“Not really,” I said as we waited for the valet to bring our cars around.
“Look Rain, I know we’re cool and all on a work level and you tend to keep to yourself, but that shit right there was some pretty complicated shit. I can tell from just watching and I don't have a clue what was going on. I’m here if you want to talk about it. No strings attached, no judgment. I’m not trying to be your bff or get involved in your personal shit just to run tell everyone, but I’m here if you need to talk.”
I appreciated the offer, but right now Theory was the last thing I wanted to talk about, so I just nodded and climbed in my car after the guy pulled up in it.
When I finally made it to my apartment, I sat outside in my car for a few minutes to get my head right. I knew that Mel would be sleep since it was late, but I also knew that the second he felt me in bed next to him, he was going to be up playing twenty questions. And I was so furious about how things happened with Theory that I had to get my shit together before I had to deal with Mel.
After I felt like I was finally ready, I grabbed my camera bag, my purse and got out of my car. I made it to my apartment, unlocked the door and stepped inside, and Mel damn near scared the shit out of me when I heard his voice fill the room.
“How’d it go?” he asked as he removed his body from the sofa, walked over to me and lifted my camera bag off my shoulder. He placed it on the counter while I dropped my purse right next to it, and then pulled me into a hug kissing me on my cheek.
“It was good, I’m just tired,” I said as I let my hands travel up his back. He smelled good and I could tell that it hadn’t been long since he showered.
“It’s late,” he said as he pulled back just a little to see my face.
“Yeah, I know. I’m tired. I just want to shower and climb in bed with you,” I said resting my head on his chest.
“Good, ‘cause I missed you too,” he said, as he let his hands grip my waist and then glide up my back. After a few more seconds in his embrace, I pulled away and started moving to our bedroom. Mel was right behind me as I yanked my shirt over my head, tossing it on top of the hamper once I was in our bedroom.
I walked straight to the bathroom, turned on the shower and then pulled my hair into a ponytail, while I waited for the water to run hot. I stared at my image in the mirror, and all I could think about was Theory. For the first time in my life, I felt like we were different; what he had was different. Maybe I was fooling myself into believin
g that something existed that wasn’t really there. Yeah, he had been there for me, protected me and maybe even loved me, but what I saw tonight was giving me mixed emotions.
“What are you thinking about?” Mel asked as he walked up behind me, kissing me on my shoulder as his arms rounded my waist, hands resting on my stomach.
“Nothing really. I’m just tired.”
“You sure, you had a pretty intense look on your face?” he said, as he trailed kisses down the side off my neck and then my shoulder.
I turned to face him and pressed my lips against his with a soft kiss, and then released it. “I’m sure.”
I stepped away and stripped out of the rest of my clothes as Mel watched. He leaned against the counter, as I stepped into the shower and pulled the curtain to close it.
“I was thinking maybe we could go check out a few houses tomorrow.”
I stuck my head out the curtain and smiled. “Yeah, we can do that,” I said, hopeful that I would be able to just let go of Theory and move on with Mel. Mel loved me and would do anything for me, yet here I was hanging on to a little girl’s dreams from the past. It was time for me to let that go.
“Good, I’ll call my realtor in the morning and maybe we can meet up for lunch and check out a few proprieties. What’s your schedule look like tomorrow?” I could hear the excitement in his voice. This was the first time I was actually agreed to us finding a house together. Every other time he mentioned it, I was busy or seemed uninterested; but, if I was going to let Theory go, I had to move forward with my life and really let him go.
“I just have to spend some time with Diamond to finalize our spread from last night. We have all the info; we just have to get it ready for print. So I should be able to get away.”
“Finally. I swear I was starting to think you didn't want this from the way you kept putting me off.” Mel sounded concerned like he was waiting for me to convince him that I was in this with him.
“Come on baby, you know my schedule is crazy and sometimes and it’s impossible to get away. Just bad timing is all.”
I had finished washing, so I rinsed one final time and turned the water off. When I pulled the curtain back, Mel was standing there waiting with a towel. Once I stepped out the shower, he wrapped me in it and held onto me, kissing me on my forehead.
“Just making sure. You know I love you Rain. I really want this for us.”
“I do too, Mel,” I said, hoping he didn’t notice that I didn’t tell him that I loved him back. I never did. He always assumed that it was because of the whole foster care thing, so he never challenged me on it; but in all honesty, it was more about the fact that I didn’t know if I loved him. I cared about him but love, that was something I just wasn't sure about.
Once we were back in our bedroom, Mel shut our door and turned off the light before he walked up to me and unwrapped my towel. He guided me to the bed, and I laid back while he began placing kisses all over my body, until he found my center and spread my legs. He gently stroked my swollen clit before he lowered his head and let his tongue glide across, it making me weak. I damn sure didn’t have to love him to want him. Mel knew how to handle my body. He knew me and right now I needed him to erase my night, and that was just what he was doing. When he felt my body tense up and my orgasm rising, he gripped my waist pulling me closer to him, showing no mercy, and after my orgasm finally hit, he wasted no time sliding inside me. The second I felt him enter me, my body was still so sensitive that another orgasm hit which made him smile. He always did that on purpose.
I closed my eyes and held onto him, while he handled me like he owned me; like I was his possession, and his goal was to let me know I belonged to him. Fuck, I did, even if it was just for that moment. And when we both reached our point, I dug my nails into his back while he released in me and then collapsed onto my body. We were both out of breath and drained, so we lay there in silence as the rhythm of our hearts calmed themselves together.
“I just don’t get it,” Mel said when he finally recovered.
“Get what?”
“How it never gets old. I swear I could be here with you like this forever and it would never get old.”
Mel adjusted his weight on me and then leaned down to kiss me.
“You say that now, but forever is a really long time,” I said.
He laughed. “Trust me, I know that Rain, but I want that with you.”
I didn’t know what to say because it almost sounded like he was low key proposing to me.
“Don’t get all nervous, I’m not. Not now anyway, but that’s my goal,” he said as if he were in my head.
“We have plenty of time for that,” I replied, feeling relieved.
“Yeah I know, but I at least want to know that it’s an option,” he said.
“It’s late Mel, let’s just go to bed,” I said.
“Yeah, okay.” He got up and I could tell that he was angry.
I sat up and watched him move around the room collecting his clothes.
“Are you seriously mad at me?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“Nah, I’m used to it, but it’s getting old. I don’t know what you expect from me Rain. I’m patient but damn, either you’re in this or you’re not. Fuck, it’s been two years and we’re still in the exact same place. I’m trying Rain but you’ve gotta meet me halfway.”
“I’m sorry if I don’t have shit all figured out like you. My life is complicated.”
“Your life is only complicated when you want it to be, like when it comes to you deciding what we are and how much of yourself you want to give me.”
“Do you even love me?” he asked as he stepped into his pajama pants, and then folded his arms staring right at me. I could see a silhouette of his face from the moonlight that was shining through the window, and I could tell that he wasn’t happy.
“I care about you, a lot, it’s just…love for me is-”
“Is complicated, yeah, I get it. Every fucking thing about you is complicated.”
He walked over to the bed, grabbed a pillow and then headed to the door.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“I need some space. I love you Rain, but I’m really starting to think that it’s always gonna be one sided.”
“Mel…”
He just looked at me, opened the door, walked out, and slammed it behind him. The sad thing was that I didn’t feel the urge to go after him. All I could think about was Theory. Fuck. Even after the way he treated me tonight, he still consumed my thoughts. I missed him and wanted to be near him. What the hell was wrong with me?
I walked into the bathroom and shut the door. I got myself together and after I was dressed again, I climbed into bed, grabbed my body pillow, and buried my face in it. I closed my eyes and tried my best to go to sleep, but Theory’s face kept filling my head. I couldn’t understand the hold he had on me, and I damn sure couldn’t get away from it.
*****
“Let’s take a break,” Diamond said and leaned back in her chair. She and I had been going over our layouts for hours, and my eyes were starting to cross.
I dropped my pen on the table in front of me, and lifted my phone which was face down in front of me. I was secretly hoping that I had a message from Mel. I knew he was beyond pissed with me, but we had been here a million times before and he always got over it. It was after 2:00 and we were supposed to meet for lunch to look at houses, yet I hadn’t heard from him all day. He was gone before I woke up and he hadn’t called or text me all day. My pride wouldn’t let me break down and call him, even though I knew I was wrong; I just couldn’t do it.
“Girl, you’re blowing the fuck out of me. Do you wanna talk about it?” Diamond said as she looked down at her phone, scrolling through it.
I let out a long sigh, folded my arms and leaned forward, letting my forehead rest on them as they rested on the table.
“My head is so fucked up right now,” I mumbled. I didn’t have any family and really did
n’t have friends. I couldn’t talk to Mel or Theory about my situation because they were the reason I was stressing in the first place, so I finally gave in and decided to talk to Diamond about it. I just hoped it didn’t backfire on me.
“Well tell me something I don’t know,” Diamond said and let out a cheerful laugh. “So I’m guessing this has something to do with that fine ass captain save a hoe from last night.”
“First of all, you calling him captain save hoe is you basically calling me a hoe, which I clearly am not and second of all, yes. It has everything to do with him.”
Diamond busted out laughing and shook her head at me. “Look hoe, I wasn’t calling you a hoe, so calm all that down. I can tell your ass don’t have friends, but spill, what’s going on with him? I thought you and Mel were kicking it like that?”
Again, I let out a long sigh. “Mel and I are together,” was all I said.
“Aye boo, this is called communicating and it doesn’t work if you don’t communicate,” Diamond said.
I looked up at her annoyed, and tried to explain my love triangle. “Theory and I grew up together. Our relationship is complicated, so it’s kind of hard to explain.”
“So, I take it Mel doesn't know about Theory?”
I looked at Diamond strangely, trying to figure out how she came to that conclusion. “Boo, I could see the chemistry between the two of you from the second he was near you, so if Mel has any sense at all, then I know for sure that he wouldn’t let you be around that fine ass man without supervision,” Diamond said reading my confused expression.
“Mel, doesn’t know and you know what’s worse?” I asked, not really sure why I was about to admit this to Diamond but I had to finally tell someone the truth.
Diamond gave me a look that said I’m waiting so I continued. “Mel got a really good job offer to work at a firm in Miami, and I actually got an even better offer with Stylz, but I took the job at Urban Pride instead, so Mel came with me and ended up settling for a firm here. It wasn’t the best offer, but he did it for me.”