Mum pursed her lips, already knowing to whom I was referring, “This is probably for the best. Now, I know that I don’t know everything that happened, but it’s over now. Okay? You can go back to your life, before all this mess happened. They’re doing you a great favour by letting you live a normal life.” She kissed my head and stood up. “Now your Aunt has made us a large dinner in to celebrate your homecoming; all your friends will be there, too. I’ll just go get your discharge papers and we can be on our way.”
Mum left the room, letting the silence return. I couldn’t move from my spot. Maybe she was right. Maybe by keeping their distance they were allowing me a chance to go back to my life. No, that’s not it. I can’t forget them. I just can’t pretend it never happened. They’d become a part of me; if you took them away I’d never be whole.
I carefully sat up as the nurse walked in with my wheelchair. Once in my chair she wheeled me out and positioned me next to the nurses’ station, where my mum chatted with the staff. Wow…so this is really it, huh? This is how it ends? A strange tingle moved up my arm, as if someone was very lightly stroking the fabric. I looked up and down the hall.
The corridor suddenly quieted. The patients and doctors seemed to vanish behind the encroaching fog. Colours faded and a thin smoky sheen filled the space. Amongst the eeriness, four figures stepped forward. I blinded eyes a couple of times to clear them, but the fog didn’t shift. Was this another dream? I pinched myself to make sure. It couldn’t be, it felt too real.
Jordon, Gargoyle, Chaos, and Damage were smiling at me. I quickly checked over shoulder on my mum, but no one else seemed to notice them. Hidden well amongst the smoky depth, bright blue spark shimmered on the wall. When I squinted, I could just make out the outline of the Blue Spirit behind them. She held onto her necklace, the sparkling blue gem casting a blue wash over the entire corridor. I turned my chair in their direction and held my hand out.
“Are you really here?”
They all nodded gently. I wheeled up to them and felt the cold smoke press against me. With every breath, my mouth filled with the taste of ice and mint.
“I was scared I was never going to see you again,” I looked between them and noticed someone was missing. “Where’s Evan?”
“They had to take him…” Jordon explained sadly. “We waited as long as we could.”
Gargoyle added in, just as remorseful. “We came here to say goodbye.”
“Take him? What do you mean they had to take him?” I tried to rise from my chair, but the pain kept me seated.
“What Nathan did to him destroyed most of his soul. He was too weak, even with a host; he couldn’t remain with us.” Jordon walked up to me and knelt down. “I’m sorry, Rachael. You did such an amazing job. We are so proud of you. You saved not only us; you saved an entire cosmos of Reapers and Banished, alike. I want to say thank you from the bottom of our hearts. You’re a true hero.”
I cringed; he can’t be saying what I think he’s saying. “Wait… what do you mean? What happened to Evan?”
This time Gargoyle stepped forward, and it was hard not to notice the radical change in his appearance. Instead of flaming red hair, his hair was dyed to a more natural brown, similar to the colour he had before he had passed away. There was something about him that brightened the room; the power of love and light restored his body’s core.
“Mother took Miira down into the Realms where she’ll be trapped forever. The Sins were returned to their rightful place and I…” Gargoyle looked up, almost like he was bashful. Chaos skipped forward, his gentle voice ringing with good cheer. He bore scars where Damage had struck him, but they seemed to be healing fine.
“With Miira out of the picture, we needed a new Royal. Chō chose Simon to be our next ruler.”
I felt my head sway, “Gargoyle… you’re a Royal now?”
“It’s not Gargoyle anymore,” Damage corrected, “its Simon, the Royal. Our ruler of balance and justice.” She beamed down at him. I glanced over at Jordon to notice he no longer carried the tattoo brand down his face.
“Your face…”
“Yes, well,” Jordon broke into a grin, touching his cheek as if he couldn’t believe it either, “Thanks to our new management the Reapers’ curse has been lifted. We can come and go into the heavens as we please.”
“Does that mean Betrayal will be okay?”
Jordon nodded gently, “I have my finest men looking for her in the Sin Realm. Don’t worry; we’ll rescue her in no time. Nathan, on the other hand, we’ll let him think about what he’s done for a while longer.”
“Jordon is also the head of security.” Gargoyle added, or should I start calling him now Simon, the Royal.
“Guys, I can’t believe it. I don’t think I could’ve wished for a better ending… except,” I glanced back between them, noticing the obvious gap where Evan should have stood. I chuckled lightly to myself, thinking how he’d probably linger near the back with his head cocked. With just one look, he’d say more than words could ever express. He’d just smile and wink at me with his sharp, green eyes.
Jordon’s smile dropped, “Evan will be okay.”
“Where is he now?”
“I’m not sure, but he won’t be waiting for you in the heavens. He was so badly broken that we couldn’t fix him; he was taken apart and rebuilt as a new soul. He will be sent back down to earth to be reborn. We know that he meant a lot to you, we just wanted to give you the chance to say goodbye.”
“No… No I don’t want…” I swallowed my words. That was so selfish of me. I don’t want! I don’t want, I sounded like a child trying to hold onto dead pet. But this is more than that, this is Evan. My Evan. “Will it hurt him?”
“No, no of course not. He won’t remember anything; he’ll start fresh. He’ll be a different soul, a different young boy brought up in a different household. Small parts of him may remain, but he won’t hold onto any memories…”
I couldn’t breathe properly; every breath caught in my throat. “He’s really gone?”
Jordon swallowed loudly, “Yes.”
I bowed my head. It wasn’t fair! How many times did I have to be dragged through this pain before it stopped? It felt like someone had ripped out my heart. “Thank you…” I whispered as Jordon stepped aside.
“There’s one more person that wants to say goodbye.”
I perked up. He pointed behind him where the blue spirit’s presence lingered. I turned my wheelchair around and rolled towards her faint body. The closer I got, the thicker the smoke became, until she was ablaze in the bright light emanating from her necklace. It was faint, but I could see the outlines of her head and cloak.
She reached out but didn’t touch me, “Little Rachael…This will be our last time speaking. I know what you want, but I cannot give it to you. I cannot bring back a soul that has been lost. But for your bravery and self-sacrifice, as I did for the little banished spirit, I will grant you one wish.”
“A wish?” I repeated.
The light from her jewel twisted the smoke into foggy sculpture. I tilted my head and could see that it was a picture of me. The figure of me rose confidently from her wheelchair and twirled on the spot. My brows furrowed. “Can you make me walk?”
She serenely nodded. “If you wish it?”
Words jumped to my throat, “No.” I looked down, surprised, “I don’t want that.” Raising my head, I managed to whisper, “I want to see him…”
She smiled, knowing who I was referring to. “I can show you his future, just small bits of it.”
“Thank you.”
“Are you sure this is what you want?”
“Yes. Yes, absolutely.” Life without Evan; knowing that my soul mate had been with me, but then disappeared. How could I go on knowing I’d never see him again? And that, when I do eventually die and go into the spiritual world, the Evan I knew and loved wouldn’t be there. At least this gave me some closure, even if it meant I was confined to a wheelchair; seeing him again e
ven for a short moment was worth it.
The fog surrounding her necklace shifted, moulding into the vision of an infant’s first cry as he was handed to his mother. I could even hear each sharp inhale of his first few breaths before he was cradled into his mother’s chest. The smoke swirled again, showing the boy’s first steps as he fell into his father’s open arms. The hint of green in his eyes sparked with familiarity. It was Evan yet, at the same time, it wasn’t.
He was born to a family on the other side of the country. He had an older sister and a younger brother. His parents were happily married; they even had a pet dog named Doug. He was so happy. There he was, grade two winning the spelling bee competition. They had his art works pinned to the fridge door, along with the birthday parties he would attend over the weekend. Eight years old, he was playing with the other boys on the street. He was a little taller than most of them and that gave him a running advantage in their game of tag. Now turning fourteen, he’s trying out his first motorcycle with his dad and uncle. He’s naturally good at it and enters into a local competition where he comes in second. There’s even something small about him in the local paper.
He’s sixteen, going to a party where he kisses a girl for the first time. Her name is Michelle; she has soft brown hair with matching brown eyes. The first time he held her hand he had taken her out for a walk along the pier, it was raining and they got drenched.
He’s eighteen, celebrating graduation on top of his class. His friends all crowd him, wanting his signature in their yearbooks and to take photos. I don’t believe it, he’s twenty-two and he gets into University for an architecture scholarship. He’s in his dorm room, photos of family and friends framed and decorating his bench. A key marked 305 sits in his pocket. He’s living his dream, doing everything he ever wanted to do. I could see it all so clearly, I could almost smell the crisp scent of his laundry sitting on his bed.
It was so real. Too real. My breath felt so tight that I had to take a step back. He’s going to be alright. His life is perfect; the Evan I knew, that had starved to death on the attic floor, was long gone. And with it, so were his suffering and misery; and so was I.
“I’ll never forget you Evan… but it is better that you forget me …”
“Funny thing about the soul.” The blue spirit spoke through the smoke, “It can leave behind images and strange feelings inside their new bodies. Some people, if they cling to it hard enough, can remember past lives.”
I blinked back at her numbly. She continued, “Anyone can do it, but you have to hold onto them very tightly.”
I glanced down at Evan once more, back in his dorm room scribbling on a piece of paper. He kept checking the door, his face sadly disappointed. Then he leaned away from his desk, revealing what he had been drawing. At first I wasn’t sure that what I was seeing was true. He had been sketching into the column of his notes, again and again, a pair of blue eyes. My eyes. He had been sketching me. Over and over again, all over his book.
“Wait… does he remember me?” I choked out the words. My mind went straight back to Evan’s last words, you have to come and find me again.
“But… but if he remembers me, our age difference… I won’t be able…”
The Blue Spirit pulled away. “If you wish it?” I glanced over my shoulder towards my mum. She was still chatting with the nurse staff, preparing to take me home.
I looked back towards Jordon and Gargoyle. Gargoyle offered his hand, as if to say he would always be there, no matter my decision. I had a million reasons to stay here, and only one reason to leave. But that reason was Evan.
I pushed off my chair. The pain roared through me, ravaging my muscles which demanded I sit. .I did my best to ignore it and to stop myself from crying out. My legs buckled, but I was able to catch myself. I inched one foot forward but the messages from brain to foot were absent. I had to reach her. All I had to do was to fall forward.
My body wobbled, but I still felt strong. This is what I wanted, but I didn’t know if this was right. Time slowed. The lights became brighter as the Blue Spirit looked up at me. She opened her arms and I fell into them, accepting her hug, and letting her take me away from here. I was weightless as my body crashed to the ground. I heard my mother scream my name as that world disappeared.
I had to remember. I held on tightly, wrapping invisible arms around my invisible body. I clenched my memories and held on to them as tightly as I could. The chances of being reborn in the right time and in the right place didn’t worry me. It was fate. We were meant to be together. All I had to do was remember. Please remember! Remember! I gripped tighter onto the thin air.
I never said goodbye to my mother, and it broke my heart that I had to leave her. The old Rachael Hastings died that evening. She had a heart attack on the very day she was to go home. ‘The Miracle Girl’. I would have to ensure flowers be sent to my mother’s house with a card, apologising for leaving her.
The world snapped shut and I watched the galaxy spin in a bright purple cosmos around me. Oh my God! It was so beautiful; the serenity of this place was almost unimaginable. Not even Mother Nature could make something this flawless. It was a snapshot of perfection; a place I could never fully understand. What felt like mere moments later, darkness overtook everything again. I knew what was happening… she was sending me back. The nauseating surge was heavy like a river pulling me underneath a rough current. It was really powerful; it actually surprised me how fast it was able to tear me apart. It didn’t hurt; it was more like my memories were being erased. It was scraping the canvas clean, breaking me down until I was nothing. No! WAIT! Oh no! No…. It was too much. Numbly, I felt myself break into a million pieces. I was disappearing and, through slippery fingers, I couldn’t grasp my thoughts. A white flash blinded me. No! No! Hold on! Don’t let them go.
Chapter Fifty-Five:
This felt so strange. When did flying make me feel so nervous? I had flown plenty of times before, so why did it make my stomach churn and my mouth feel dry. Guess it was because I’d not be coming back in a few weeks this time. I was really leaving for good. I stepped back from the window and let my hand drop. The vast open space of the runway stretched out in front of me, the planes silenced by the bustle of people behind me. Usually, when I was uneasy, I fiddled with the charms on my bracelet. As always, I pinched the charms between my fingertips and scrolled through them like prayer beads.
“How are you holding up?” Lara stepped up to me. I shrugged at her.
“This feels strange, like it can’t be real.”
“Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet.” She joked, “Don’t give dad another reason to drag you back to the car.”
I smiled weakly at her before glancing back at our parents. Mum and dad were checking the flight times on the monitor just a few steps away. I could almost feel the nervous energy coming from them, so I had to step away.
“He’ll probably try to talk me out of it.”
“Are you kidding? He has at least FIVE other university brochures in his pocket. But you can’t back out now Jen, this is your dream.”
“I know, I’m just nervous.”
“About what?”
“Change.” I again shrugged. “It’s always just been us you know; now I’m going to be on the other side of the country.”
“You’re only one flight away.” She soothed. “Plus we can talk every night if you want, that is if you’re not too busy partying.”
From above, the announcement called for my flight. I turned back to my parents, taking a deep breath, like I expected them to give me bad news. Mum stepped up to me and hugged me extra hard. As dad hugged me he whispered, “It’s not too late Jennifer; there are plenty of courses here that you can do."
I rolled my eyes, laughing. “Dad I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”
He nodded before stepping back. I waved goodbye to them while I walked down the corridor and onto the awaiting plane. By the time I landed, it was just past dinner and the university grounds w
ere crawling with new students. I walked in with my cousin, Claire, who also attended here.
“So, welcome to your new home.” She announced with a small skip in her step. I hauled my luggage in behind me and felt a little suffocated inside my small, matchbox of a room.
“Is this really how big it is?”
“It’s not much, I know, but it’s bigger than the singles.” Claire shrugged. I wheeled my bag in and dumped it at the foot of one of the single beds. The interior was simple, two desks and two beds; some cupboards and shelves, but there was only window and one bathroom.
“Ready for the tour?”
“Sure. Can we also get something to eat? All I’ve had is plane food.”
“There’s a nice café just off campus. You can go to the cafeteria here, but the food’s kind of bland.”
She took me down into the heart of the university and showed me the main library, the cafeteria, the gym, the large oval grounds and garden, the pool, first aid and the reception desk. It was massive, and I felt like I was spinning in circles; my mind was in a complete muddle as to how to get back to the dormitories. She took me out to the café across the street. By now I was so hungry that my stomach was in a constant chatter. After our meals, it was dark and most of the students had already returned to the rooms or homes.
“Well, thank you for showing me around.” I hugged Claire and she led me back to the dormitories.
“It’s okay; you can get yourself back to your room from here, yeah?”
I laughed, “I’m sure I can manage.”
“Hey, if you’re not too busy, I can show you where’s good to shop around here tomorrow?”
“Yeah, that’ll awesome.”
She gave me her final goodbye and I turned back. I got to my room and searched my pockets for the key, only to find them empty. After a brief moment of panic, I turned back and made my way as quickly as I could back towards the café. Thankfully, they were still open. I found my room key laying on the table where I had emptied my pockets. I mentally slapped myself; I had to remember to double check for things from now on. On my return, I wasn’t exactly sure which dorm was mine. They all looked like giant webs of windows and stairs standing side by side. I was thankful no one was around to watch me play the rat in a game of maze. I walked through one of the dorms and felt a prick of familiarity. But this wasn’t my block. I was certain of it because there was a painting on the wall that wasn’t there before. Out of nowhere, I reeled backward. A foreign sense of urgency filled me that I couldn’t explain. There was a taste on my tongue like a silver coin. I walked farther down the hallway, the tense feeling tightened my chest. Was I being watched? Was this some sort of instinct kicking in, tickling the back of my neck as if there was a pair of eyes on me? I swung around, but the hall was empty. I must have been nervous about being in a strange place on my own. I felt a slight breeze and jumped in alarm. At that very moment, the door behind me unlocked and swung open. I shriek in surprise and jumped backwards, startling the poor person.
My Demonic Ghost #3: Hunters and Creators Page 30